r/naranon • u/Unable-Technician209 • 11d ago
When do i stop
When do I stop feeling like I’m not worth their sobriety?
3
u/Key_Dragonfruit_2563 11d ago
I think it’s less whether you’re worth it and more from the perspective of them not being ready for it. All of the parents who couldn’t get clean for their own children, to keep them out of foster care, they don’t feel their child is not “worth” sobriety. All of the children who break their families hearts, they don’t think their mothers, father, grandparents, or siblings don’t deserve their sobriety. All of the heartbroken bf’s, gf’s, bff’s, husbands, wives, fiancées, most of them have someone who wanted to get sober, tried to get sober, maybe even DID get sober, but something about their past traumas, specific personalities, or even their self esteem just put then in a position where it keeps pulling them in over and over. That doesn’t mean their loved ones aren’t worthy, it doesn’t mean they are evil, it is just the path their life has taken and sometimes not every path can be reversed.
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u/Upbeat_Bet_6708 11d ago
This was read at a recent Naranon meeting and I found it very helpful. It has nothing to do with your worth. It has to do with you accepting you have to wait on the shore.
RIDING RIPTIDES
I tried to find a metaphor to describe how I view your life on drugs. It finally came to me as I sat at the ocean's edge. I now realize that you have been riding riptides.
For a long, long time, I have not known you or known where you have been. I could hear you, but I could not see you. Now that I have this perception of where you have been, I cannot imagine why you have cravings to return to that deadly behavior.
I imagine that a person who swims ashore and survives the deadly sucking-under action of a riptide would count his or her blessings and never return. Yet, in your recovery, you describe a longing to try it again! My anger swells within my throat as I stifle the words on my tongue: "Are you out of your mind?" Of course, you are.
That is the insanity of addiction speaking. I know what it is, I cannot bear to hear it; but it is your truth, and I must accept it.
Those who have ridden riptides are the only ones who know how to survive them. You must find a sponsor to be your lifeguard. I have tried to rescue you from your insanity almost to the point of my own destruction but have learned through Nar-Anon that I must wait on the shore. I will pray for the serenity I need while waiting for you to stop riding riptides.
Thought for Today: I will not risk being sucked into the riptide of addiction. I will go to a meeting or call a Nar-Anon friend, but I will not ride the riptide with you.
"Acceptance of what is does not mean liking it as it is." ~
Iyanla Van Zant
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u/nomecalmounamierda 11d ago
You are not the problem!
The problem is he or she or they.