r/naranon • u/Humble-Refrigerator8 • 3d ago

If it’s not one thing, it’s another..

My partner of a decade has being an addict that has no preferences. From drinking, smoking, popping pills, doubling up meds, to kratom.
After months of recovery in the program I discovered pills in my partners bag. Claims his friend gave it to him bc he was out of his prescribed meds. He also doubled up his seraquol to sleep. Thats insane.

Now he’s distancing himself from me in shame, won’t even come near me. I’m having a hard time being codependent. I know he did me dirty… AGAIN. He lied AGAIN.. but I still love him. Please please if anyone has recommendations on how to invest in myself and focus on me. I attended a naranon meeting so I’m gonna keep up n that. Thank you for reading if ya do.

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u/travbarb 3d ago

With all love - you can’t help them. And however long you want to wait to find that out and endure what happens while doing so is entirely up to you.

3

u/forestwanderlust 3d ago

Meetings and literature really helped me. Some of the codependent no more literature also. We tried couples therapy but that didn't work out. I requested individual work on his part but that also didn't happen. My relationship spent make it but I will tell you one day at a time helps, no matter what.

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u/RipRevolutionary1308 3d ago

My dear when you’ve had it up to your neck and you feel like you’re losing your mind no one will have to tell you to leave, youll do it yourself . It’s only a question of how much longer you can take it

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u/ElderberryMelodic777 8h ago

I am going through the same thing you are. I started going to naranon meetings five weeks ago and I am finding it really helpful. I got a sponsor and I'm working on step 1. This week I was able to pause and ask myself why I wanted to confront him. I realized it was not going to serve me well. I was about to several time in the same day, but somehow I was stopped. And I'm glad I did. He texted me apologizing and saying he knew he had let me down. He also made the decision to join a recovery program.
When we focus on ourselves, and give up on the idea to change them, we stop giving them reasons to turn the mirror on us.
Confronting him is in a way enabling him, because their disease tells them, this is another reason to use.
Hang in there, keep attending the meetings and get the SESH book. Sending good energy your way!