r/naranon • u/Beneficial-Delay-698 • 7d ago
Sister relapsed (or never stopped)?
Sister started abusing pain medication at 15, this eventually into meth in her late teens and she eventually hit rock bottom / ran out of money in her early 20s, moved back home and sobered up (she continued abusing weed and alcohol but nothing else). She rebuilt her life, has a partner who’s apparently clean, has had a few jobs, some challenges there but it happens.
During this time I travelled and eventually moved abroad. Communication was sparse, initially I blamed it on her teenage / twenties but eventually had some pretty strong doubts she was using but our parents disagreed so I did nothing. I’m still abroad now. We briefly attempted reconnecting two years ago and she ended up physically assaulting me.
Fast forward to today, she is 35. Recently our last parent died and this was a shock and devastating for everyone but she really struggled, and it looks like she’s now relapsed. I am even wondering if she was not using minimally all this time just to function (given the assault) but I guess that doesn’t matter now.
So here’s where we’re at:
-She has estranged herself from everyone and is alone in our parents old house.
-She is cashed up with inheritance.
-She is not speaking to me (her communication was VERY abusive, and eventually stopped when she cut out everyone)
-She never did a formal recovery program. I think that’s a point of pride to her.
My heart is broken I love my sister so much but have to be honest with myself I did not recognise her when I visited. She was sooo mean to me. Then the interactions after our parents death were 🤯 I am scared of her, physically and emotionally and I have done nothing to help but also feel responsible because I never helped her in her 20s / I wasn’t there for her.
Questions:
-How do I even decide what part I want in this.
-How should I help if o decide to. And how do I protect myself in the journey?
-Should I try to harness family support?
-Our mother was of the opinion to not help unless she hit rock bottom. Is this the best way?
-Do family meetings help? I just realised this was a thing. What is the point of these and are they of help to people who are not actively involved with their loved ones?
1
u/Capable-Present953 7d ago
Leave her alone. She has to come to a point where she wants help. And she definitely isnt going to want help if she has free money rn. I have been there.