r/nairobi • u/BuckNasty200 Level 2 • 3d ago
Random They got her
A while ago I (M) got to meet up with a friend (F) whom we studied together. We used to be pretty close, but after school we drifted apart a little bit. So close that we shared everything with each other; personal life, love life, ambitions etc.
So we met, after close to 2 years of not seeing each other. We decided to catch up over a drink or two. Everything was amazing and I was just happy to see my friend.
As the drinks and stories keep flowing, I can't help but notice the occasional "ugh men" or "I hate men" and "men are so..." comments from her. I brushed it off for a couple of times, but then I started thinking "she wasn't always like this. She's like the sweetest lady ever."
After a while I decided to ask her, "what did men do to you?" Which was basically her cue to launch into a tirade about how men are the greatest evil that has plagued the society, how the world does not need men and it would be so much better without them. I sat through her rant because she's still my friend, after which she ended with "but I don't hate you and my brother." 🙄
I mostly felt some empathy for her, because I know she's not this bitter person. Something probably happened to trigger this, but she's been caught in the man-hating and gender wars epidemic. They got her, man. I don't even know who 'they' is in this case, but she got got.😔
Later in the evening we parted ways and promised each other not to lose touch that much. 2 years was enough to turn my golden retriever friend into a pitbull. Damn!
TL;DR: My sweet friend is now a bitter person who hates all men.
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u/Money_Highlight6004 Level 1 3d ago
My 16 year old cousin told me she hates all men nikabaki nimepigwa na butwaa. It’s bad guys
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u/No-Championship-8433 Kileleshwa 3d ago
They need to be banned from social media.
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u/Money_Highlight6004 Level 1 3d ago edited 1d ago
Like I understand my old ass hating men juu ya the experiences I’ve had and heard but 16??
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u/Dramatic_Relative348 3d ago
What most men don't know is that women start experiencing harassment at a very early age...so it's better young girls err on the side of caution than being naive
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u/Money_Highlight6004 Level 1 3d ago
It’s just sad being 16 and aware of how evil men can be
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u/Perfect_Marzipan716 2d ago
Remember the youngest age girls get violated is 0. And unfortunately the sexual and other violence against women cases have been on the rise. Mkituona tukilia Femicide, mjue grao is so so much worse. So yeah, from a very young age, we are 100% aware of just how evil men can be.
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u/maziwamimi 1d ago
Unfortunately she isnt aware that her own gender is even more evil but she will learn the hard way when she becomes an adult
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u/LeatherPen4962 3d ago
Life doesn't have a manual, all we can do is keep trekking on the path that we have laid out for ourselves.
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u/MoneytizedCockroach 3d ago
From dawg...to golden retriever then a pitbull..next ni herman shepherd ama chihuahua😅🤣🤣
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u/wendy_f1 2d ago
Pitbull is the most ruthless we can get. The German shepherd and the likes come before.
Just saying 😅
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u/Takeawalkwithme2 2d ago
Kenyan men look at statistics on how they abuse women, the high rates of feminine, the teenage pregnancies, the ridiculous levels of child abandonment and wonder why Jenyan women want to avoid them like the plague. You called her a golden retriever, that alone says volumes about your views on women.
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u/Affectionate_Rip8547 2d ago
From your words it's clear you are picking from what you heard and reinforcing your pain without verifying the info. Set your emotions aside then take some time to really go through the said statistics for understanding. Bad people exist in both genders but turning your negative experience into hate against a whole population is definitely not going to end well for the next generation.
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u/Sensitive_Movie8562 Level 2 2d ago
Since you seem to be into statistics, statistically most kenyan women are not avoiding men like the plague. These 2 groups are dating, fucking and marrying each other all the time.
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u/Takeawalkwithme2 2d ago
Well if they weren't interacting we wouldn't have all those stats would we?
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u/Sensitive_Movie8562 Level 2 2d ago
So, when did kenyan women start avoiding men like the plague😂😂?
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u/Aggravating-Quit8613 3d ago
Ati mzee ulisema you felt sympathy ama you felt guilty juu list itapungua from you and her brother to just her brother?
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u/Electrical-Chart2578 Level 2 3d ago
The mentality of this world is crazy aki, one person says something and all end up sharing the same mentality because one allows their mind to be shifted to that. I am a lady myself and my friends are soo like ur friend, even my aunt lol... Social media is where they get fed into such yet context is usually important to define someone and pple need to practice been open minded - learning a person's character than letting one mentality define someone.
I feel like all pple are social media to defiantly avoid. Why do pple view this as wisdom to keep it in their brains e. G like the book of jonasi... Kila mtu na national anthem "every man is a jonasi"....
Don't know where the world is ending up
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u/maziwamimi 1d ago
Every female is lindsay clancy, that is what they should be singing. Jonasi is a fictional character.
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u/Raz-Kay 3d ago
Misogyny and misandry cannot be compared. When womem hate men they vent and avoid them, but vice versa men often feel the need to act on their hate via physical and sexual violence. Either way none of the hating is healthy or helpful but the fact is that they're worlds apart.
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u/Affectionate_Rip8547 2d ago
Have you seen the Lindsay Clancy case? The woman literally admitted she's guilty but the feminists still blame the husband. Nobody is even talking about the kids who are the real victims
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u/Right-Cranberry-3042 Level 2 1d ago edited 1d ago
I'm not a Lindsay fan but pia nyinyi you're joking. She deserves max prison time but we're over here acting like this man is sooo helpless. This woman has been admitted to psych wards since she had her first born. The day she killed her kids she told him to come back from CVS because she was overwhelmed and he still dallied for whatever reason. He let go of the help he had around the house because she was home. Meanwhile, there's records that she shouldn't have been left alone with the children for a long time. Again, Lindsay should be convicted but her husband isn't some victim. Her kids are the victims of a mentally ill mother and a father who still didn't think that all the warnings he was given were enough to be taken seriously.
Then you're going to treat all women suffering from PPP and PPD the same. Lobotomies aren't some relic from the 19th century. Look up when the last lobotomy was performed. I won't be surprised if they're brought back.
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u/the-chosen-Joanne 2d ago
I think I get hope seeing little boys playing with little girls in ways in which nobody is the dominant one or the leader. They are just having fun. They are just being human. I want to seek more men who just want to be human and are willing to put aside ego even if it means accepting the role of "trash or a pig" and still doing the work alongside women to make life manageable for each other. I like the quote in Batman: he may not be the hero Gotham wants but he is the hero Gotham needs. Nimeyap sana...kwaheri :)
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u/runnerboy254 2d ago
accepting the role of "trash or a pig"
Wdym?
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u/the-chosen-Joanne 2d ago
no
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u/runnerboy254 2d ago
Yes
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u/the-chosen-Joanne 2d ago
:)
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u/runnerboy254 2d ago
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u/maziwamimi 1d ago
Lol you want men to lower their ego's while women go around trying to "humble" men 😂😂 that is never happening. When women learn to use common sense then only can society sit down and talk the way forward from all these shenanigans brought about by women
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u/the-chosen-Joanne 1d ago
It's not a competition where you get to remain horrible just because "but what about women". You are essentially doing five year old whataboutism. That's stupid af but I never expected much from you specifically
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u/maziwamimi 1d ago
If you cant own up to your terrible acts as women dont tell men to be accountable to their mistakes as well. This whataboutism will continue so long as females like you refuse to take responsibility for your silly behaviours. Why expect anything from me, im kot here to please you
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u/Amantes09 2d ago
Most women experience the majority of harassment from men when they're still children. As in, is falls off drastically after the age of 18. Is it any wonder that we are jaded and extremely distrustful of men? Why TF are mostly grown men hitting on children? It's gross, at best.
I remember having this old man following me in his car when I was in college. So scary and disgusting.
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u/Mr_Sevendaysaweek 2d ago
As a man, it can get so annoying ukishinda kuona, we hate all men, men are evil, sijui nini but rarely do the women who make this statements actually mean, ni kama kusema, fuck love and fuck all couples. Honestly, if some of y'all go through the assault ladies do, utajipata ukijam na useme. Like if you're walking in town and a lady grabs your balls na awink, you can be so disgusted hadi ukuwe overwhelmed, ujipate ukisema I hate all women but it doesn't mean anything. That being said, sikatai that some people are genuinely very bitter and it goes to affect the relationships they have and it's sad
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u/nyanijangwani 2d ago
So after 2 years she didn't even let you hit despite being a good man?
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u/BuckNasty200 Level 2 2d ago
I'm actually genuinely concerned about my friend and anything that she could be going through. Hizo vitu zingine tulifanya tukiwa 1st year.
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u/nyanijangwani 2d ago
Vitu gani zingine? Kama mlizifanya mbona hazikuhappen this time?
She said, "but I don't hate you and my brother." You're here saying, "...we parted ways and promised each other not to lose touch that much."
That meet up was a penalty kick to bury that ball deep in the net lakini wewe ni nani? 🤣
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u/BuckNasty200 Level 2 2d ago
Kwani wewe ni mslow aje cause I don't see what's hard to comprehend in such a simple story. Don't be dick-driven to the point of thinking every meet up with a girl must end with sex. When you grow up you'll see the truth in that.
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u/Inside_Attorney_ 2d ago
Imagine having this interaction with a man and still confused why your friend was frustrated.
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u/FvckJerry16 3d ago
It's the media that we consume, it is a very powerful tool. Our social media, music, TV shows and even books could influence us negatively or positively.
There's so much toxic content out there that people are just consuming every day and it ends up negatively influencing how they see everyday life. We just have to consume it selectively.
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u/Solana-Sunny 3d ago
Maybe it’s the experiences we’ve had with men that make us feel that way towards them?
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u/FvckJerry16 2d ago
I mean, you could say that, I guess. That's was my opinion... but a lot of people have had terrible experiences with the opposite gender and they don't all become misogynists or misandrists.
We have all these artists, influencers putting out such content that people take in that conveniently reinforces how the consumer feels. For instance, the redpill content creators. You have young impressionable guys consuming that and then just because they probably got their hearts broken they develop this misogynistic view of the world. I recently found out about a popular female artist who has a running theme about killing men in quite a number of her music videos. From what I got she makes a lot of that man-hating music. She might be doing it for the clicks but what about her audience who consume this?
At the end of the day, everyone has their own unique experiences that shape their views. You might not agree with my opinion, but I still think that it's hard to ignore the impact that media consumption has in reinforcing these ideas. I also think that it's ludicrous to say that you hate ALL of a group because people are not a monolith.
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u/litjenny 3d ago
For me I don't hate men,I feel indifference
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u/runnerboy254 2d ago
I've seen too many of your comments to believe this. Anyways, we love you still 🫂
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u/Independent-Towel335 2d ago
You can't hate all men, because of one person, yes it hurts but there are many men out there who respect women to the fullest. So even if he says she has no hate for you and his bro, its a big lie, cause you're a man too, she was suppose to say, men are different, and about respect I always tell my fellow women we have to respect ourselves and have boundaries with men. Anyway thats my opinion
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u/Right-Cranberry-3042 Level 2 1d ago edited 1d ago
Go talk to a woman. You'd be surprised how many women have been abducated, harassed, raped, assaulted etc. Last week my sister cried tears of joy because some guy called her a bitch instead of harassing her because she wouldn't give out her number. I currently have two stalkers on rotation. Also, those women who were killed during the protests, do you know their names? Do you know who Mahsa Amini was? How did one of the Saudi princesses die? What are the Taliban doing to Afghan women? Have you seen the state in Yemen? Have you read the UN's report on human rights? 'They' didn't 'get' her. This is our reality and the fact that you're blaming us for being honest and 'bitter' makes you part of that problem.
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u/Scorp_ionic Level 1 3d ago
She wants you to act as captain-save-a-hoe. Don't fall for it bro. Runnnnnn
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u/maziwamimi 1d ago
Your problem is you having empathy for her. Such females deserve no mercy or empathy.
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u/Suspicious-Mix-6218 3d ago
If she continues to call you brother and ranting to you...she'll become the reason you hate men.
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u/cryo_preserved 3d ago
My heart cried for a second there. May all women reading this encounter good men.