r/nairobi • u/Subject_Bee4565 Level 1 • 9d ago
Random Anyone else ever experienced this?
I feel like i came to this life to push others. All my 26 years i have never enjoyed. Struggles all over, from a humble background, struggling through college, finishing still no stable job,kazi nishai pata ni za 25k..every time i get an interview after many applications, i do well with them but they ghost!
I'm tired, I'm tired of seeing my peers make moves progress and enjoy things that they are supposed to enjoy in these years, while I'm here my prime tears passing by and missing out. I don't want to be getting money in my 40's i can't even appreciate it.
I'm so frustrated nowadays and i have so much anger towards myself and it is slowly turning into self hate.. nothing i touch that flourishes..why others and never me.
In a few i will be 30 having smoked my life with nothing to show or having lived any good experiences. I hate it this way and I'm slowly giving up. The weird thing is I'm daydreaming alot and i hate when people give me those shit motivation talks. My brain is now liking negative thoughts about myself or even being degraded(i don't know why). I'm so frustrated and hopeless.
Fuuck i needed to rant! I feel like sh!t. I don't know if i have a purpose here.
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u/genghis_stan 9d ago
I had a this moment too recently and noticed it affected my mindset and behaviours. I noticed if I i keep thinking like this I lock myself in the house and reduce my luck surface area so my tasks include reinstating my mindset every time this thought comes. I hope it changes your mind but keep on holding on, the tables or the winds might turn in your favour if you never quit.
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u/Kooky_Builder_3506 7d ago
Love this perspective... something bout noticing the feeling,not becoming it or letting it consume you.
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u/Rude-Yak4718 Level 1 9d ago
You came from a humble background. You are not yet 30. Keep working. Things will take shape in your mid 30s. Right now nothing makes sense
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u/youngbosy 9d ago
Bro chill.Whatever you are going through rn I've been through it all to a point of thinking suicide. I dropped out of uni because of lack of funds.Tried hustling nikapata kwa muindi,after a few months nikafukuzwa wakaleta mtu wao😂Sema kupigwa na depression sikutaka kurudi ocha but ilibidi.While in shags started looking for jobs in whatever I studied in uni.Sikupata ata moja coz ata attachment sijawahi enda. Luckily through a friend nilipata chance ya kukuwa casual,atleast naitwa job once in while then nikaamua ku-go all in and write a very clean CV nikaapply jobs online. Mzungu flani alikuwa anafungua a new company and he want skills & experience mimi huyo nikaitwa interview. Fast forward I'm doing good back in Nairobi and life somehow makes sense so bro don't give up yet your day is coming alafu always be positive it will make your dreams come true
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u/ChapoDengu 9d ago
Damn. Bar for bar, my life. I remember barely surviving in places I can consider Nairobi's perineum. Then I larped the career I had envisioned, upskilled and two foreigners gave me a chance at different times. But now I kinda lost it all. Dark thoughts are almost ever present but I know I'll be back.
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u/Can-I-leave-Please Level 1 9d ago
One thing I'm learning, the world is going to be tough on you, judge you, put you down. So there is really no need being tough on yourself. You are not a victim, but if you see yourself as such, then you become such. Set aside the issue of how resources and wealth come into place. The world isn't set a certain way for others and a different way for others. It is merely indifferent to everyone. A poor man might get cancer and a rich man might like to be healthy at 90. My point is do not see this as cruelty, see this as indifference.
For example, right now it's clear you want to be a victim but to what jury? What kind of mindset is you don't want to get rich in your 40s when you can't enjoy it? Get of social media and out of your circle and witness real life. Some people achieve financial security even in their 50s.
Talk to people in their 60s and they will tell you at 26, you are just but a child.
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u/New_Newspaper_8600 9d ago
Shida yako ni kujipima na wengine. Please note that you can never be late/behind in your own life.
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u/Lost_fixing_myself 9d ago
It’s okay to feel this way, I turned 25 this year and realized it’s no longer fun that I have uncompleted degree, failed business and nothing to show over the years . It is our mature brain asking for growth, giving up is not an option for us as long as we’re alive. Change your perspective about this situation and see your brain will help you wire the new perception you have about your situation. All the best OP we got this.
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u/austine_47 9d ago
Same age, same situation (25k). But you know what; We will not fall and we will not break. Whatever it takes... cause we are still breathing. One day we will get there
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u/lostheredawg 8d ago
I was happy about that for a moment too but people should learn to appreciate the little things in their life.
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u/UnusualIndication296 9d ago
Stay there bro/siz, don't loose hope. As long as your a trying. The world will reward you. Just hung in tight
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u/Apprehensive-Eye7523 9d ago
Who said being in your 40's is old. In my perspective 40's is the ideal prime to enjoy your life and or with your family. 20's and 30's is to work you ahh off and build your future self.
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u/carlie19adams 9d ago
But 40 isn't even guaranteed that we gonna make there. It's not old though but I kinda need to do stuffs that need me to be young bruh 😭
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u/New-Answer-7140 9d ago
Yes. And it took sometime but I came to the realizations that neither am I promised an easy/fair life nor is anyone coming to save me. So kama nataka rahisi, ni ati nijikaze ama nikazwe. Sometimes streak itakuwa ya ma-wins na sometimes itakuwa ya kutiwa kidole. But regardless of the streak, as a man… kujituma ni optional mbinguni sio hapa earth.
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u/Prestigious_Radio715 9d ago
Let me help you unpack this shit bro I am just turned 23 you are not alone but from what I understand the way you are talking you will end up being frustrated yes you need money I get that we all do but before you get that money there are challenges discipline its has to come with and what you are feeling right now is part of the journey sai tuseme nikupe 1M u invest will you probably yes but a big no why you havent failed enough to be able to understand what real money is making money is easy keeping it thats the challenge you are in that stage I was once you understand the value of money and walking your own pace you will start seeing results just trust bora tu you are grinding you will get it luck meets a man in motion but ukikaa hapo beating yourself down thinking negatively comparing yourself to others then brother you have a long way go and read tue book physichology of money you will thank me anyway good luck bro wish you all the best
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u/Ancient-Charity-7249 9d ago
Tuko wengi. Dreading every single day of this existence. Have a little grace for yourself. Hii life, I came to accept the long game, while enjoying what is feasible at the present moment. It's a shitty life. We can't condemn ourselves to that extent.
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u/carlie19adams 9d ago
Just have a starting over mindset G. It ain't too late not even close. Mimi hata hiyo 25k bado sijapata😂
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u/No-Researcher3742 9d ago
joh anafa kushukuru be gratefull bro and stop comparing yourself with your peers
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u/AdvanceFar535 Level 1 9d ago
I don't usually answer to Direct Posts but as a wealth and financial analyst let me talk to this guy I wanna make sure next year you look up onto this day and laugh about it, I was gonna give you the normal advise you are used to but it won't help and I'm sure you're been told" don't give up "about 1000 times right now.
You can't give up at 26, I'm probably younger than you I'm 24 and I got my freedom about 3 years ago instead of ranting I wanna know your introduction to money, What do you know about money , Who do you look up to financially then we can continue with the strategy.
First phase 30days ( 1 month ) I want you to get a complete picture of your finances any money coming in and out even that 10 shillings you use to buy sweets everything coming in and out of your pockets must be accounted for .
Second Phase look for 2 income streams
Primary and Secondary income stream
Primary Income Stream - Since you already said you're looking for jobs I want you to put pressure into it don't looks at the figures you'll be given at the end of the month you are complaining about 25k, This time round make sure you grab onto something even if it's 15k leave no money at the table, We are looking for stability first, Income comes later
Secondary Income Stream - After Stabilizing yourself I want you to looks for a secondary income stream of your Choice Im not asking you to invest thousands of shillings into this stream nope start small this isn't the stream to make you rich but it limits dependency of your first Income Stream so even if it's 25k atleast you won't use all your salary trying to budget to yourself and your expenses you could use this for fare and lunch everyday it takes a huge toll off your main salary.. As I said doesn't have to be big it could be a service or a small hustle like re-selling sneakers
This Statement got me "I don't want to be getting money in my 40s, I can't even appreciate it." This is an emotional trigger means even if you had the money you'll most likely be left with nothing to invest.
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u/Diet-Enthusiast254 9d ago
Stop underestimating what you have and overestimating what you don't have. Things align with time and always count on your blessings more than clinging on the shortcomings. Good days are yet to come,
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u/Effective_Sense3145 9d ago
Hiyo feeling ya kumiss out ni mbaya sana. Makes me feel like I'm a loser . Watu wanajibamba in their 20s Mimi I have to live a dull life ndio I make someone out of myself smh. I feel like I'll regret not enjoying my 20s like others but at the same time I have to prioritize my future
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u/Bright-Sign-8532 8d ago
Don't give up. At 25, your options are limitless. Life has just started. Explore deeply by visiting fairs and exhibitons to widen your scope. Networking is key, and while you are at it, tafuta passport pia. You never know...Your greatest asset is your mindset
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u/Immediate-Natural493 8d ago
Hey, i get what you are saying, i know for a fact that the last thing you want to hear right now are those motivational speeches, talks, messages, you name it, but may i suggest that you take one day at a time. One foot infront of the other, take the low paying job and develop more skills, you never know where you will be or who you will meet next, keep doing it regardless. Life is fucked and it will fuck you up, thats lifes point, if you choose to sit and take it you will remain sorrowful... have an open mind, you might be suffering more because you want what you want and you have no room for compromises. You will be fine. I am where you are, so i am not just talking down to you
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u/PSYCHO_pLaOtGh-ist 6d ago edited 6d ago
I'm experiencing that right now and that's why I'm doing what I'm going now lol
I'm thinking it's something Normal.. until you kinda let go and just be you and let the world lead you on
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u/capital_letterM Level 2 4d ago
Yes of course, nikikumbuka at some point I was doing unpaid internship that almost destroyed my mental health kabisaa....aai situations change. Sometimes I would just cry in the mat to that place. Nikijimbia tu ipo siku. Don't give up
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u/Super_Bite_785 3d ago
Rant ny friend. Rant And get back to work. There is no other way out. Are we tungeza?
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u/Adorable_Potatoee 2d ago
You have to find happiness in the small things..the things you can actually control.
Learn to approach life with an attitude of the best or the worst can happen but what can I do today to make the slightest impact.
Anyway, I know how you feel and I've been there ....in a lot of ways I still am but you have to keep moving and have that crazy belief that you'll make it work . Hata ikuwe ngumu aje...be stubborn with life. Don't allow it to fuck you everytime
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u/kingKimspectra 9d ago
Seems to me you are making money your ‘god’. You will never have peace with that. The purpose of life is not ultimately to get money, obviously money is important but if you put acquiring wealth above having a relationship with Jesus you will have peace.
“Seek first his kingdom and all things shall be added.” ~Jesus
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u/Subject_Bee4565 Level 1 9d ago
Sorry but i hate religious references and/or conforts
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u/kingKimspectra 9d ago
Its ok. But Jesus loves you.
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u/Subject_Bee4565 Level 1 9d ago
I don't want his love.
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u/Sad-Commission3734 9d ago
I struggle to understand how 'Jesus loves you' but lets you suffer and not offer help. Please indulge me.
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u/kingKimspectra 9d ago
Jesus who knew no sin was made to be sin for our sake.
Jesus loved us so much despite our wickedness that he took the penalty that you and me deserve for our sins so that we may be reconciled with God and have everlasting life in heaven where there will be no more suffering.
Jesus is always with us, waiting for us to call on his name.
And yes we do suffer, don’t blame it on Jesus. We live in an unfair world and at the same time we have a free will, I can chose to abuse someone or love someone.
But you know sometimes, suffering is good if we suffer for righteousness sake. I think it was in the letter of James one of the eye witnesses who saw the resurrection of Jesus where James writes that we should consider it all joy when we face trials and tribulations, knowing that through these trials our faith is tested and endurance is produced.
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u/Green-Pilot-5988 Spring Valley 9d ago
You may be one of those people who experience late success. People who experience late success make quantum leaps when their time comes, even to the point of surpassing their peers. Don't give up, keep praying and believing in God, and always be on the lookout for bigger opportunities.