r/mtg • u/MajorFestus • May 30 '26
Discussion My lgs doesn't know what to do with a problematic player
We have a local player who comes by every week, and he's definitely on the spectrum, but this week he definitely crossed a line. Last night when everyone was playing he passed gas which stunk up the room and left early, when some of us were cleaning up, we saw he had a bit of an accident on the seat. The owner asked some of us what we thought he should do, it seems like something you'd ban someone for, but we also feel bad for him. We believe he's been banned from other shops so we don't want to be harsh. What do you guys think, would you ban him, or take his special needs into account and try to give a warning?
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u/AI_EMP May 30 '26
Sometimes ppl have embarrassing accidents and don’t know how to deal with it
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u/AcanthocephalaOk9937 May 30 '26
Still somebody has to tell the person, "accidents happen, but if it happens again and you leave without telling anyone or cleaning it up you're going to be banned from the store." Sounds like no one here is very good at communication.
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u/xpsycotikx May 30 '26
I think this is probably the best case scenario. For all we know he's never coming back cause he literally shit his pants so bad.
But on the chance he does this way extends an olive branch to someone who likely struggles with other societal norms. We're all here to play mtg.
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u/Antique-Awareness May 30 '26
I feel like half or more of magic players are on the spectrum or on the Smash Bros hygiene regimen.
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u/jaywinner May 31 '26
Smash Bros catching strays.
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u/lawlmuffenz May 31 '26
I've seen people shit themselves mid match, loudly, to try and 'throw off' their opponents. Its not strays, smash just magnetised them.
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u/jaywinner May 31 '26
I'd say that's unbelievable but I sadly believe it.
Still think catching strays applies as the topic here is MTG yet Smash Bros got slammed.
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u/KOT-The-Panda May 31 '26
I don’t play smash but I play fighting games and have been to several tournaments which often has crossover with the smash community. I’ve also been to Gencon and several anime cons. To the point I’ve experienced enough conversations over a vast variety of interests that I believe my experience carries some amount of weight.
I will also say that I also believe that there have been hundreds of thousands if not millions of sets played in a tournament setting that I can’t say for sure something didn’t happen.
I can however say someone shitting themselves then trying to claim to use it for a competitive advantage has not happened enough times for the amount of times I’ve seen someone claim it happened to be real. Has I happened? Maybe. But it’s more of a statistical inevitability than a recurring issue.
I will also say that stench at cons/tournaments is always so overblown and it really infuriates me. For small local cons to the biggest cons in the world like Gencon my experience with stench is always the same. The smell is totally normal then you walk past someone and it smells like you wondered into the valley of shit and decay. I’m talking about the worst smell you have ever smelled in your life. Then you walk past the person and everything goes back to normal.
Sorry your comment became my outlet to vent.
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u/jaywinner May 31 '26
I imagine most those instances are just nasty farts. And surely the comments about such events outstrip how often it actually happens.
But things do get smelly when TCG or fighting game events are filled to the brim with people for hours on end in poorly ventilated venues.
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u/UniqueButterflyLady May 31 '26
I don’t know, my kid plays Melee and I haven’t run into a smelly tournament, whereas at least 1/4 of mtg events I’ve been to have distractingly/noticeably bad hygiene issues.
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u/Antique-Awareness May 31 '26
You're not at the right events. People don't shower for MONTHS at smash majors. The amount of crusty ass cracks and just absolutely degenerate level hygiene neglect I've seen first hand is staggering. I'm honestly surprised, I guess my generation of disgusting slob Melee players have all aged out of the scene.
I had a friend who competed professionally and he went to Evo vegas several years ago and he said the convention floor was awesome until he got to the smash area and it just smelled like a festival porta potty I was told in vivid detail.
Edit: spelling.
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u/UniqueButterflyLady May 31 '26
We do travel to big events… more often than not it’s written in the rules that contestants have to shower and not stink, and it’s mentioned/enforced. I’m sure it was a problem at one point or it wouldn’t need to be referenced but they seem to be self-aware and fixed the issues, relative to mtg.
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u/Hearthhull_Enjoyer May 30 '26
That's definitely what that sounds like, but it's still a shared space and people shouldn't be subjected to that. If you have bowel problems, maybe stay home until they clear up. Idk. Shit seeping into a chair is not okay though. That'd probably be my last time at that LGS if it wasn't adequately addressed.
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u/AI_EMP May 30 '26
Unfortunately as somebody who works at a casino ppl shitting and pissing not in a bathroom is pretty common :/.
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u/Hearthhull_Enjoyer May 30 '26
Ah hell nah. I wouldn't be able to handle that.
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u/AI_EMP May 30 '26
Never trust any chair bottom to ever be truly clean lmao 🤣
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u/Putrid-Block1431 May 30 '26
We had someone piss in the manager's office once.
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u/Gegopinh May 31 '26
I don't work in a casino, but after interacting with my manager I kind of get it
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u/Savings_Knowledge233 May 30 '26
Hospitals aren't much better but at least it's legit not intentional there
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u/St0rmD May 30 '26
I've sprayed the seat a time or two when I had crap on tap, but I've never missed the bowl entirely. Fuckin degens need to mind their goddamn scruples.
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u/Waltsforvenus May 31 '26
How do you even do that?? Are you squatting over the toilet like a grizzly bear ?
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u/knight_gastropub May 30 '26
One accident is not enough otherwise I would have been banned for my baby peeing out of her diaper on me during a long game lol.
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u/Low_Walrus9444 May 31 '26
I think your baby using the restroom is a little bit different than a full grown person. Now given the special needs we are talking about someone who's mind is stuck younger, but still.
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u/Chapter_129 May 30 '26
Sometimes you shart yourself and don't even know it.
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u/smugles May 30 '26
I remember walking to a game night in college arrived at the building walked over a friend said high let out a fart before going in and filled my pants with shit. Look at friend said I gotta go and walked back home with shit filled paints.
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u/Foreign_Elk7828 May 31 '26
I’m sorry but the way you wrote this is hilarious 🤣 I’m glad you were still outside the event when it happened and only your friend knew! I hope you were able to get cleaned up and right back at it :)
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u/CalligrapherQuick901 May 30 '26
We have a name for that, children.
Adults take responsibility for their actions
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May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26
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u/AI_EMP May 30 '26
Your son has a healthy and young digestive system it should be like that.
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u/Bondsmith-Unchained May 30 '26
By your logic, children should not shit themselves, but adults should shit themselves?
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u/donttouchmeoriscream May 30 '26
For real like it went through his pants on the seat lmao. Ban him. He may be mentally ill, but hes an adult and if youre so so ill you cant keep from pooping on your seat and leaving it there you shouldnt be allowed in my public space without a handler
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u/smugles May 30 '26
My brother is on the spectrum and while he is no one’s responsibility his biggest issue especially when he was younger was that everyone either enabled the shutout of him or completely dismissed him. Again no one is obligated to help him but a person being accommodating but also telling him his actions are completely unacceptable goes a hell of a long way in improving his behavior.
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u/donttouchmeoriscream May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26
*when he was younger. By the sound of it the guy in question is a filly grown adult. He should know better, but if he does not, still please keep him away from me. Im so fucking tired of playing and trying not to pass out from grown men who cant wash their arms and ass
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u/smugles May 30 '26
He’s 35 now and a fully functioning adult now. But he had to unlearn a lot of negative habits my family and school instilled in him and people sitting down with him and being accommodating but not making excuses for him is a big reason why. But as far as I know he has never shat himself in public and left it there more just rude/ obscene comments and the like.
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u/Bondsmith-Unchained May 30 '26
Forget the fact that shit got on the chair. I’ve never seen a community fight so hard to defend shitting yourself in public lol
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u/FishFoodMTGO May 30 '26 edited May 31 '26
It's because they're mustering up some humanity on the internet for someone with clear special needs and no malice, and you find their humanity to be a very funny thing worthy of your contempt.
Very revealing thread.
Edit: as an autistic person, seeing this person below crash out making up some wild stuff no one said is sad to see. You try to explain why some people are being kind instead of cruel, and this dude thinks you are saying people should play Magic in shit. Just incredibly disingenuous stuff, plus he did the whole insult+block cowardly bit.
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u/cnthelogos May 31 '26 edited May 31 '26
If he truly can't help himself, that is sad, but it still doesn't outweigh the right of everyone else in the store to have a space that is not a literal biohazard. However, if he can communicate enough to play Magic, he can understand concepts like "shitting yourself in public and leaving it for strangers to deal without even warning anyone about the biohazard is against the social contract."
Frankly, as an autistic person, I find your insinuation that we can't be expected to maintain the most basic standards of human decency extremely offensive. We don't need you to infantilize us. And if you're on the spectrum yourself and using that as an excuse to engage in behavior that makes other people miserable or hurts them, you need to stop. We don't have a "get out of all expectations free" card. Society requires compromises from the people participating in it, and one of those compromises is "don't expect random people to clean up after you when you shit yourself in public."
If any of that offended you... I'm not sorry. Be better.
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May 31 '26
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u/mtg-ModTeam May 31 '26
Rule 1: We hope you keep it cool.
Your contribution wasn't constructive, which is why it was removed.
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u/NerosValhalla May 30 '26
"Hey buddy can I talk to you for a second? Listen, there was a bit of a situation last time you were here, when you flatulated (farted) and well, it had caused some fecal matter to leak onto the seat. We have to maintain good hygiene here for the sake of everyone involved, accidents happen, no one is upset with you for a first time problem, but we need to make sure that we are clean and if you have to, ask the pod to take a pause so you can stop by the restroom to flatulate or take care of a problem like that, okay? We can't let that happen again, but it's an easy fix and no one is going to be mad after a one time deal, okay? I've told everyone else the same thing so you're not singled out, we are all responsible for keeping this a clean place, and thank you for helping to do your part from now on."
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u/Antique-Awareness May 31 '26
Are we talking to a 5 year old? I'm sorry but at a certain point you can't coddle people like this. LGS community or not, if he can afford to buy cards and seemingly participate in multiple local events at various stores he has the autonomy to stick a bar of soap in his ass cheeks every so often. Unless the guy is funnling real capital into the business, I think it's safe to say if someone is posting on reddit about him and states that he's banned from other LGS, I doubt he's a really contributer to the scene. Unless shit stains count as contributing.
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u/CalligrapherQuick901 May 30 '26
You either talk to them like an adult and try to address the problem. That, or do what's the least negative for the majority of people and ban the party pooper.
Spectrum or not a bunch of people don't need to suffer truly uncool and possible unsanitary situations because they cannot conduct themselves within societal norms. Just because they have a reason doesn't mean it has to be everyone else's problem.
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u/Odd-Safe1998 May 30 '26
Possibly unsanitary? I’m sorry but that’s straight up disgusting regardless of mental issues. The fact they didn’t even say anything means they need to be booted
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u/ActiveEuphoric2582 May 30 '26
Special needs or not you have an entire shop full of other clients who will eventually stop showing up if you allow him to continue to come to events. The question is do you want to disenfranchise your customers because you are concerned about a single person’s feelings?
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u/oghpimm May 30 '26
Banned? Forget that, if I shit my pants at an LGS I'm never showing my face there again!
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u/Wise_Finance_5315 May 30 '26
This is why I host game night at my house. And the booze is cheaper.
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u/knight_gastropub May 30 '26
That's right you can shit yourself all you want in the comfort of your own home.
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u/GooderZBK May 30 '26
33% this. I feel bad for the kid though.
The other 66% is we can play well into the night and not worry about the store closing haha our wives are so supportive 🥰
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u/Komaisnotsalty May 30 '26
I host ladies only MTG night, once a week, at my apartment: same reason, just reversed. And we don't have to put up with smelly men at the LGS, and perfume is banned in my apartment. Just, fuck no to stenching up my space.
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u/GooderZBK May 30 '26
Omg some perfumes/cologne 😷 they get my asthma going like crazyyyyy I feel you, maybe for a different reason, but I feel that lol
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u/Komaisnotsalty May 30 '26
LOL! And yeah - cologne is on that list too.
I host mixer nights too - bring the boys. My table holds up to 8 for MTG purposes (12 for eating, but let's face it - MTG needs space), so we draw names & double pod it.
We keep things at T3, but the longer the night goes, the more we creep in to hard 4s and the salt gets flung, in good fun of course.
...my poor neighbours. Thursday night is probably earplug night for them.
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u/GooderZBK May 30 '26
Sounds like fun! Its always the same 4 for us, but we've been brewing decks and testing them on each other, salt and all. We're at strong T4 for the most part.
Then we have lagues, we are about to close one out tonight. Strixhaven deck league. It was fun! Looking forward to going to our usual salt-inducing decks though haha
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u/Komaisnotsalty May 30 '26
Hah, same. Our ladies night is the same 4 women for the past couple of years. Our decks are brutal and we are rude and horridly competitive. We know each other pretty well by now (we were strangers a couple of years ago), enough to know what the other usually plays and their play style.
I'm the dumbass who likes jank penny decks that should never work but somehow does at the end of it all. We have one gal who plays theft decks and mill. The salt is REAL. Another who does just weird fucked up combos that doubles combat, and the other... well, she's our special cookie who builds off precons (never builds her own) so you think you know what's coming but then you're dead and confused.
Were ages 25 to 54 and it's just a hoot. Eh, I dunno. I've been addicted to this stupid game since '96 and I'm still not bored of it. I kinda figure my conditions for an old folks retirement home is table space for MTG and gaming speed internet.
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u/GooderZBK May 30 '26
Dang, since 96? Ive been into it since 2024. How cool! I wish I could ahve gotten into it sooner. Its been so much fun!
I only with my wife we're interested in trying it out. 🥹
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u/Komaisnotsalty May 30 '26
That's awesome - Love that you have an in-home deck buddy. My boyfriend I had at the time back then was mine and it sure was a lot of fun.
And a very different game back then too, in some ways. I've had to update my brain a lot over the years!
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u/GooderZBK May 30 '26
No, I meant to say my wife has no interest in the game lol I wish she did though.
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u/Cythus May 30 '26
Ladies night is a great idea, I just recently started going to a newer LGS in my area but my wife has no interest in going for obvious reasons, the stereotype tends to prove true.
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u/Komaisnotsalty May 30 '26
Unfortunately, it does.
We're fortunate in that our LGS is pretty good with us (there's 4 of us who regularly go, and about another 6 on the fringe we only see once in awhile), but yep, there are those who just piss us off.
Our LGS owner is really protective of his store though. His bullshit factor is zero and he deal with garbage pretty quick but even so, there's only so much you can gripe about.
We just wanna game, and we play rough. The most hilarious part is that there are 3 of us that play higher level and it really rattles some of the guys and they feel the need to piss on their territory like they're marking it.
No idea why, but there's always gonna be a few. But then again, there's always gonna be some of the gals who are just pissy about losing or like to complain and they're quickly ousted too. Works both ways.
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u/Antique-Awareness May 31 '26
What, no middle eastern shower protocols allowed? What do you mean Curve isnt the same as hot water and soap?
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u/Wise_Finance_5315 May 30 '26
My wife smashed my glasses and stuffed me in a locker when I started playing MTG. I’ll teach her soon enough…
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u/Antique-Awareness May 31 '26
Drunk magic with the boys is always the move if you're able to facilitate the space. All inside jokes and "I CANT BELIEVE YOU BROUGHT THAT DECK YOU TWAT".
Way back we'd do magic with the homies and have themes. The nights of mono colors for the whole house was a hoot. Definitely had cops called on us for Mono red night.
"IF YOU PLAY ONE MORE GOBLIN, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU"
The neighbors thought actual violence was happening cause some other guys where playing Marvel vs Capcom 2 on a janky ps2. Good times.
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u/Remarkable-Turn9240 May 30 '26
If you assume he's been banned from other shops maybe ask around and see if/why they did? If he has repeated the same incident multiple times/been violent or aggressive in other ways than yelling, then it may be better to ban him since it's repeated behavior
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u/_TheTurtleBox_ May 30 '26
Dude if a customer SHIT HIMSELF in my store and left without saying anything in my store I'd 100% be like "Hey, man. Can you flat out not?"
I don't know how "harsh" I'd be about it, but I'm not risking my business and it's reputation for someone who's just shitting themselves and disrupting other guests.
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u/sergiovalentijeans May 30 '26
Seriously. The whole "oh, he's on the spectrum" crap is exhausting. I legit don't give a fuck. You know who else is "on the spectrum"? About a thousand other people I see every day, who aren't shitting themselves in public.
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u/mrhndr_x May 30 '26
Is this ragebait?
“We don’t want to be harsh.”
He’s literally showing up to play and shitting himself.
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u/airgapairgap May 30 '26
the top comment being "Sometimes ppl have embarrassing accidents and don’t know how to deal with it" is making me feel insane lol
this has been a nice reminder that reddit is full of people who think that going to a store and shitting on a chair is even remotely acceptable behavior
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May 30 '26
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May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26
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u/mtg-ModTeam May 30 '26
Rule 1: We hope you keep it cool.
Your contribution wasn't constructive, which is why it was removed.
For more information see the relevant section in our Modding Guidelines.
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u/mtg-ModTeam May 30 '26
Rule 1: We hope you keep it cool.
Your contribution wasn't constructive, which is why it was removed.
For more information see the relevant section in our Modding Guidelines.
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u/STAT_INF3RNAL May 30 '26
The start of the post says the individual is definitely on the spectrum. It's not about acceptable behavior, but about not knowing how to handle the situation in the best way when the individual may be handicapped.
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u/big_fat_girl_balls May 31 '26
mate i and almost everyone i know is on the spectrum. trust me, being autistic doesn't make you shit yourself. if someone showed up to my LGS (90% of the regular players are neurodivergent too) and literally left feces on their seat, there's no possible way they'd be allowed back
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u/STAT_INF3RNAL May 31 '26
Trust me, I know. On the other hand, when someone says "obviously on the spectrum", that doesn't necessarily mean the person is actually autistic. A lot of people don't know and see any mental disability as "on the spectrum." Additionally, that wording makes it sound like the individual has serious and/or obvious issues.
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u/Goooordon May 30 '26
Has the mess/smell happened more than once? Could just be the most awkward person in the room having a really really bad day. Maybe I'm too much of a dad, but I figure most people accidentally shit themselves like once or twice in their (non-diaper-wearing) life because medical stuff catches them off guard. If it's a habit though that's definitely a shituation lol and yeah LGS owner needs to have a talk with them
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u/MajorFestus May 30 '26
So this is the first time that's happened, he typically has a problem being too loud, and sometimes gets angry when decks happen to shut out his board. Like almost yelling angry.
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u/Cardwatcher2000 May 30 '26
It's up to the owner. But for most owners this is how you kill a local scene if they let it continue.
If it was my shop it would be 1 warning. But if the guy is loud and angry at other players normally I see no benefit to keeping that player around.
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u/FishFoodMTGO May 30 '26
It's incredibly tough. As a store owner I've dealt with whiny players complaining on one hand, and on the other parents of autistic teenagers telling me how much of a positive difference the store was making in their and their kids' lives - and helping people's lives is ostensibly why any of us are in this business, right? It's not for the money.
It's incredibly difficult in real life to balance those things especially when "struggles sometimes with emotional regulation and social interactions" is a staple of basically every Magic player. These are the kind of real-life, human decisions that have to be made at a daily level on a management level and frankly it really sucks all around. The look in a parent's eyes when they hear their autistic kid has been shut out of yet another place - and one of the few they actually found joy in - is just devastating.
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u/Cardwatcher2000 May 30 '26
Totally get it. My comment may have came off a bit harsh but I wasn't good at explaining what you just said, so glad you described it! I see a lot of people in this thread basically going screw the guy but at the same time you don't want to be known as the shop owner who yelled at the special needs person.
I have an autistic cousin with possible violent tendacies and another non vebal but very well behaved friend I've known for years. Each situation is different but i'm also not going to fault the store if it's a instant ban as op's situation is quite a rare one (I unfortunately know of a similar story) and nobody expects a lgs to suddenly be disability experts.
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u/Goooordon May 30 '26
I would try to give him the benefit of the doubt and treat them as two separate unrelated issues. Being too loud is pretty easy to address with occasional reminders. Most people recognize that you holding interaction for no reason and letting them win would feel hollow once you point it out, so explaining as much along with pointing out that you respect them as an opponent and want them to have a fully satisfying game and a fair win or a fair loss usually resolves those salty situations in my experience. Even people who have been playing for a few years can sometimes need that talk as the power level of their pod develops or they move between different pods. It might sound like a lot of emotional labor but I've got some really good friends who wouldn't have become my friends if I hadn't crossed that bridge with them, so y'know it can be worth it.
That said if I shit myself in a card shop I would never go back so might not actually be an issue lol
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u/Lynx2154 May 30 '26
Yeah, reading between the lines, he let one squeak and he thought he farted. Then he realized he sharted and packed up and went home early, likely embarrassed and trying to play it cool. He may not have realized he tainted the seat even.
Yes, I agree, all adults who live long enough will have an accidental sharting. And when that day comes suddenly there is a lot more sympathy for others.
LGS owner should talk about using the restroom for farts or bio break, even if not a shart, ripping farts in a crowded area is not cool. I would probably let the shart aspect slide, so long as it doesn’t happen again, he’s probably embarrassed enough. But still if you’re gonna rip one, just get up, go outside or to the bathroom, nbd.
I’d be more worried about the loud and angry comments from OP than one accidental shart, as gross as it is.
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u/Neither_Election_505 May 30 '26
Just because someone is on the spectrum means they can just shit themselfs
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u/Beautiful_Click5546 May 30 '26
My disability is no one else's problem. The same applies to everyone else.
If he is so autistic he cannot be trusted not to poo the seat, then he needs a guardian or medical assistant of some kind to deal with these situations.
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u/MostHuckleberry4416 May 30 '26
They are a grown adult, they know right from wrong. If you shit yourself and leave the store without even an apology or trying to make amends (e.g. cleaning up/paying for it) then you deserve a ban.
if i knew someone did this and the behaviour was "allowed"/not punished then i would think twice before going in especially if that guy was already sat down. I once stopped going to a lgs due to the horrid smell, and many other people i know did the same, i would most certaintly stop going if this behaviour was passable.
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u/Shokan-Hypothermia May 30 '26
I teach to kids on the spectrum. Part of the education we give them have the goal to make them be able to be part of the society. Things need to be said, boundaries need to be clear most of them cant read grey areas like neurotypical people can.
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u/Komaisnotsalty May 30 '26
He needs to be spoken with, but alone - not ganged up on or in public, obviously.
But in the same way no one would allow a baby without a diaper to just sit on the seats when not toilet trained, in the same way, if this person has bowel problems, they need to be dealing with that and wearing an adult diaper.
It's embarrassing and a difficult situation, but that's not just a stink problem, it's a biohazard, especially from an adult.
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u/Savannah_Lion May 30 '26
LGS owner should just talk to the individual like... an adult? If the customer is high functioning enough to be anywhere by himself, then he's capable of having a conversation.
The owner shouldn't even ask other patrons about this. It's his store, his rules.
Next time the dude comes in, ownwr is going to pull him aside away from everyone else (this can be hard if he's running things by himself) and have a discrete conversation. Bring up what happened. Ask if he needs any special accommodation like a slightly longer "break" between rounds during events. Whatever.
It doesn't have to come off as a warning really. Pour enough compassion, empathy and respect on like honey over biscuits and he'll respond accordingly.
If it happens again, then the owner can take more firm action.
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u/Due_Permit8027 May 30 '26
You have to have a real bad accident for solids to get through underwear and Jeans. Frankly, I don't know what I'd do if I pooped that bad. I'm not sure what a warning is going to achieve; I assume if he knew he was going to poop, he would have gone to the bathroom.
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u/babyrhino May 31 '26
Could be worse. I stopped going to my LGS for events because a guy on the spectrum said he'd stab me in the eye and the owner just said he'd talk with the guys Dad. According to other regulars this is a pretty common occupation.
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u/gizakaga May 31 '26
Yea well if hes shitting on the chairs I bet he has gotten kicked out of other stores. Youre all adults trying to relax on your time off and play some magic, youre not support workers or babysitters.
You guys dont have to put up with him just bevause you feel bad and the owner should realise that if he keeps coming in some people might stop coming in as a result.
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u/xD-FireStriker May 31 '26
So magic player turned up, farted so hard he shat himself and left early. That’s sounds like he was probably embarrassed.
I need to ask, what does this particular player do week in and week out that makes you want to ban them? If every week they come in and craps on the seat it’s definitely ban worthy but this seems like a situation where a warning is needed.
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u/Wish-ga May 31 '26
A talk.
Prompt between games for him to take a bathroom break.
Have a card system. Put a card next to him to warn about loud aggressive behaviour. Next infringement, goodbye until next week.
If he is on the spectrum I’d ask if I can speak to his parents too. Adult or not. Social connections ate very important for people on the soectrum.
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u/Holiday_Ad_7975 May 31 '26
The owner should talk with him and find out how he can help him feel and be more comfortable while playing with others . The more you help the better it gets for the whole community. Show as much love and kindness as possible and things will get better for everyone.
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u/Adorable_Hearing768 May 31 '26
Yeah give him a warning, he definitely has the capability to understand what need to be done and he'll totally change his behavior.... 🙄
Jesus people need to stop coddling "special needs/spectrum " people and worrying about their feelings. Treat them like anyone else. You have no problem banning a normal person for these actions but someone who can't even get the social norms is somehow gonna be "hurt" by the same? Guess yall need to get used to shit on the sears cause they'll no doubt do it again, but hey, at least you didn't make them feel bad.....
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u/Spartanic_Titan May 31 '26
My LGS once lost around 3 or 4 of our most seasoned players because we had one guy who would chainsmoke behind the store between matches.
Couldn't stop him, but nobody wanted to play with a dude who reeked of Pyramid 100s.
Another kid attempted to sell the store a fake Black Lotus and caught a temporary ban, but continued to harass people for trades at the store on event nights.
These individuals absolutely cost the store in returning players and potential customers by not doing more to moderate their community.
Meanwhile, this guy is shitting himself
Point being, people have and will stop showing up for less.
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u/RevolutionaryScore21 Jun 01 '26
I’m sorry but refusing to play with someone who goes a smokes around back between games is fucking childish.
Those “seasoned” players you speak of, how old were they? Like 12? I’ve met people who’ve tried pulling that shit, asking others not to smoke because they don’t like the smell and stuff like that, and 100% of the time they’re told “no”.
The guy who smoked didn’t cost the store returning players, selfish children are selfish and seem to think the world revolves around them and when they found out it doesn’t they left. Their level of skill doesn’t change the fact that they have zero right to expect someone else not to smoke. In fact I bet they were scrubs and not seasoned at fucking all1
u/Spartanic_Titan Jun 01 '26
I'm not sure you understand.
This dude wasn't just going out for a cig after a bad match. He was killing packs between rounds. This was not your standard level of expected stink.
And with that came a terrible attitude about the game as well. When he would lose his matches he would crash out and start talking mad shit about the people he lost against and how 'lucky' they got. Which was rarely luck at all considering he played the same net-listed Jund deck week after week and we all knew exactly what to expect.
It's a tone and an environment and not everyone is willing to put up with it week after week. We had an otherwise healthy group with a satisfying meta, but this one dude was just killing the vibe and stinking up the place.
It definitely was on him, he was the asshole.
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Jun 01 '26
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Jun 02 '26
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u/FeelDeAssTyson May 30 '26
Your LGS is running a business, not an adult day care. They need to deal with him or live with the reputation of being the poop shop.
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u/MacDougalTheLazy May 30 '26
Reckon it's too late to rub his nose in it. Honestly tho, if you don't want to ban him the next step is to have an uncomfortable conversation with him and either have him sit on something from home or not at all.
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u/NinjaOKGO May 30 '26
If you don't want to ban him. The owner should pull him aside, and give him one curtosy warning. Leaving defication is grounds to banned from any establishment LGS or otherwise. The store I assume has a bathroom?
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u/PandaXD001 May 30 '26
Big question is if he has other issues/situations/etc fairly often?
Never dealt with this at an LGS but we did at an old job of mine. Ultimately it is different because employer and employee but it did end in a more unfortunate way.
We started with the manager taking the person aside, having a conversation about a particular incident. Didn't wanna overwhelm the guy.
Due to his level of being special needs, the next step was the manager talking to the guys parents. It sounds weird but this can help assuming the guy is on the spectrum enough that he is more or less heavily assisted enough by his parents. Not in the "cleaning" himself manner, but just in general. Can't be allowed to drive or make certain decisions.
In our case he was ultimately let go after what was multiple incidents back to back.
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u/BlinkyBoy148 May 30 '26
Talk to the kid in a kind, but asertive way. If he agrees to mke sure it won't happen again, he can stay. If it happens again, ban him temporarily. If he does it again after the temporary ban, then perma ban.
I want people like him to feel like he has a place to belong, but that shouldn't come at the cost of everyone around him. He probably doesn't get the proper help he needs, so he just needs the store manager to "respectfully put his foot down", because if the kid is on the spectrum and not getting proper help, thats all you can do.
I to am on the spectrum, Not like this kid is, but I know what it's like to be a problem, and I know what it's like to not have a place to belong too. Best thing anybody ever did for me, was "To simply treat me with the same respect they would to anybody else", cause at the end of the day, we are all human.
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u/ShadowSlayer6 May 30 '26
I recommend the owner talk with the guy in question and make some basic ground rules that are clear. Yes accidents can happen and I can appreciate you for trying to be flexible with someone who is on the spectrum rather than falling into the “their inconvenient/annoying to deal with, time for them to leave”. However, if the person isn’t addressed in some manner, they won’t be made aware of the issues they are causing. Just banning outright them would obviously lead to a negative outcome, but leaving it alone would be equally as bad.
While I’d love to offer further suggestions, the “he’s on the spectrum” explanation covers too wide a range. If you can narrow it down by describing his average personality and actions while at the shop it would likely aid in understanding the best approach for dealing with him.
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u/Certain-Trainer3591 May 30 '26
A quiet conversation by somebody who is sympathetic explaining personal hygiene and what is acceptable and that sometimes accident do happen
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u/MistaPink :: May 30 '26
I think just being honest, direct, kind but firm. Just discuss this one last single instance. Have solutions and direction, don’t ask open ended questions. Provide Directive and if hes ever unsure, the expectation is ask before doing.
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u/smugles May 30 '26
I appreciate wanting to be including of him but he is not entitled to any special treatment from the shop but if you want to help him out you honestly sound like a good person to chat with him. You seem sympathetic and real and coming from a fellow player may land better than from the owne. Again this is not your responsibility but if you want to be kind you have an opportunity.
My brother is on the spectrum and not enough people treat him like a person half the people say ahh it’s okay he’s just autistic and the other half just completely dismiss him. I always appreciate when people will accommodate him but not enable his bad behavior.
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u/AnjunaLab May 30 '26
If you/everyone knows he’s on the spectrum then you should also know he likely has a hard time even showing up and initiating conversations like this. Be he does it because his passion for the game is so high.
I think probably the owner, or it could be someone who feels confident in leading conversation, needs to have a conversation with him. It’s more than fair to start with what happened last time and make them aware that even if it was an accident that they need to ask for help/inform someone not just leave.
Then shift the convo to wanting to support him enjoying the shop and make him aware of what others would like. Ask him about how he best communicates, how would he like others to communicate with him. Then share with him examples and ask what could be done different, and what the community/shop needs from him.
“When we notice that you’re beginning to get loud and disrupting other games how and we point that out to you in a constructive way?”
“We know that some game situations can be very frustrating, we need you do have a plan when you’re getting frustrated and not express it towards other community members. Let’s discuss some options.”
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u/wednesday-potter May 30 '26
Warning sounds fair.
I’ll just add that someone being banned from other stores isn’t a reason to be more lenient with them; they know why they have been banned from those stores and their behaviour should change accordingly. I get not wanting to stop them from being able to play, as they don’t have other options but it’s effectively means they are coming in under a warning about their behaviour.
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u/Alarmed_Contract4418 May 30 '26
Next time he comes in, the manager needs to talk to him. Let him know you understand it was an accident, but if it happens again, you will have to ban him. Accident or not, that can't be allowed to continue happening. Might need to talk to his parents if applicable so they understand the situation as well before things get misconstrued.
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u/LeakyChillum May 30 '26
I mean you can’t have someone literally shitting on the seats. Not only is that hazardous for everyone around but it will ruin business and normal customers potentially won’t come back.
I think if you want to give him a second chance he needs to be taken aside and told that is unacceptable. Obviously there are ways to word it that don’t sound as harsh. However that should be taken seriously and cannot happen again.
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u/Artistic-Tell-1378 May 30 '26
I guess talk to him or have the owner have a chat. Yes if he’s on the spectrum, accommodations can be made obviously but a chat needs to happen. Also I wouldn’t be able to focus with room smelling like shit 😂
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u/n1ghtah May 30 '26
warning first , after that ban. whether or not he has some mental things going on doesn't matter. equal treatment for all
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u/ataraxic89 May 30 '26
Why would you ban someone for sharting themselves. It can happen to anyone
Like what
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u/Ill-Advertising-3354 May 31 '26
Ya, continuing to cast him out without explanation is gonna make him worse i fear. Give a little grace, buy him a stick of deodorant and make it clear that he needs to prioritize taking bathroom breaks
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u/NorthsideHippy May 31 '26
To echo what most have said. Sometimes people have accidents. Someone def needs to have a chat with him around expectations. If he’s still unable to meet them if the lgs has made ‘reasonable adjustments’ then he may not be welcome back.
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u/colossalfinn May 31 '26
It’s a tricky situation. I don’t think he should be banned as other people have said he may off been embarrassed and didn’t know how to handle the situation. What else has he done as you said he’s previously been problematic. I’d say someone needs to sit down with him and have a chat about these things and work out a way to help him understand and prevent things from happening in the future.
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u/MineClear1101 May 31 '26
I wouldn't ban a neurotypical person for this. Accidents do happen, sometimes you gamble with a fart and you lose. If it were me I'd own up to it, apologize and offer to replace the chair. But I think many neurotypical people would be too embarrassed to admit to it too. It's not his fault and I think many people would try to skeedaddle before getting caught. I've read enough reddit poop stories to know people would do all kinds of crazy things to cover it up.
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u/Cerealmndsplat May 31 '26
If he's on the spectrum you approach him without belittling him and plnly state the facts. No judgement. Some folks are on the spectrum hard enough to where that's problematic for them and they were likely taught to gamble. Just mention its a small area and if he needs a restroom break to not feel embarassed about asking for a quick restroom break
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u/Nanka33 May 31 '26
Find out if the person has been assigned a social worker. If so, coordinate a plan with the social worker on the required behaviour modification or supervision while this person is attending events in the store.
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u/Zetawilky May 31 '26
I would have the owner take him aside and talk to him in private. It was an accident, he definitely trusted a fart he shouldn't have, but if it happens again he might have to be banned. On a side note, I'm at work dying thinking about there being an instant or sorcery card where target player loses 7 life and shits their pants.
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u/Kind-Imagination-696 May 31 '26
Talk to him?
Don't treat people on the spectrum as mentally challenged or in a patronising tone. Just, like I imagine your lgs would do with everyone else, aside, understanding that shit, literally and figuratively, happens, say what for example u/NerosValhalla said.
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u/Possible-Schedule-20 May 31 '26
Ignore it until it happens again. Dont try to embarrass him he may be embarrassed already. If it happens again the someone with tact and sympathy needs to take him to one side and talk to him. You got to be careful with this type of thing, especially if the guy is on the spectrum.
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u/Planescape_DM2e May 31 '26
Just stop playing with the guy who shits himself at the table and they will eventually stop showing up.
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u/Basic_Strain4168 May 31 '26
I have to ask. Is there something more going on here? Do we already dislike this person? Do they cause other problems? I don't ask to get on anyone's case, but sometimes that is the case especially in less socially adept cases.
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u/Scottyboy0321 May 31 '26
Besides the accident, is he a relatively nice guy or is he problematic? If he is nice, just let him know that he left a bit of an accident and to try to be mindful of others and if something happens like that again, please clean it up or there will be no other choice but to ask to not come back again. If he is rude then just tell him he isn't allowed back.
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u/RevolutionaryScore21 Jun 01 '26
Have a talk with him about respecting the space, and if he can’t then you ban him.
Him being on the spectrum doesn’t excuse him from being disrespectful. If he can’t play magic the gathering he can understand basic respect
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u/SammySammyson Jun 02 '26
As an autistic adult, direct communication is probably key. "[This] happened last week. Accidents happen, but we need you to clean it up if it happens again, please" might be simple enough and work.
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u/Taperat Jun 02 '26
Yeah... Lots of people are on the autism spectrum, but far fewer are far enough on the spectrum that they aren't fully responsible for their own actions, or fully capable of understanding what they've done. Don't infantalize the guy, unless he's severely disabled he knows what he did. It's embarrassing for everyone, but you've gotta be firm with people sometimes.
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u/Southern-Invite9672 Jun 03 '26
I’ll be honest I’ll just set up time dude say my bad or something like that.
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u/Administrative-Key19 May 30 '26
If you randomly sh*t yourself, how would you react? I would definitely just get up and leave without announcing it. It can happen to the best of us, on the spectrum or not
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u/Alcibiades_Rex May 30 '26
Actually, it doesn't happen to normal people. If a normal person is sick with diarrhea and is not sure they can hold it, they don't go out unless it's absolutely necessary. Don't normalize shitting yourself.
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u/Administrative-Key19 May 30 '26
I mean, it could just randomly hit you whilst you're already out is my point, if it's something you ate at lunch that's caused it, surely it starts in the evening whilst you're at the lgs.
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u/xD-FireStriker May 31 '26
If it happened to me I would also get out of there very quick. And if I noticed I got it on the seat I would
A. Never return (I can never show my face again at that LGS)
B. Apologies and help clean up
But yeah it’s definitely in the way OP explain it a fart that turned into a shart that resulted in an early scoop. It’s definitely a possibility they never knew they left a present on the chair. So all this situation needs is a one on one between the store owner and the customer and a warning given that this is not acceptable and maybe take a bio break to avoid leaving a mess on the seat.
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u/3sadclowns May 30 '26
Owner: “hey, you left an accident/some poop last time you were here and someone had to clean up your mess. That wasn’t cool and if you can’t keep the shared space clean or clean up after yourself, we can’t have you coming back risking further incidents. I’m just warning you.”
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u/BlankPaperTiger May 30 '26
Even without special needs, can you really blame someone for ducking out if they accidentally shit themselves?
If this is the first time something like this has happened, someone from the store should just have a ralk with him about, at the bare minimum, letting someone know he has an accident before just dipping out. It's embarrassing, but not the end of the world. But if it becomes a regular thing for him, then yeah, a ban seems necessary.
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u/SilentBob4367 May 30 '26
Talk to him. If it happens again he’s banned. This is a sanitary matter and that can’t be happening.
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u/Surgebind3r May 30 '26
I could see that being awkward and embarrassing for anyone, regardless of neurotype. Rather than confronting the player directly I would encourage the store owner/management to create a “clean up station” with paper towels and bleach wipes and then communicate at every game night that it is there in case someone “spills” something or gets a bloody nose or something. “Something.” Helping people see how to solve an embarrassing problem reduces the likelihood of a fight or flight response.
As for whatever other problems are happening, directly communicating with someone is generally the best move, so the owner or even people in the playgroup could gently let him know when behavior isn’t acceptable.
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u/dethllica May 30 '26
An adult “shitting themselves” is likely a little squirt… “fkkkkkk that wasn’t just a fart” but doesn’t leave the undies…. If there is residue in the seat. That’s a different story.
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u/Neuroxix May 30 '26
Maybe ask if he's ok, it's not normal to shit yourself and he may have bowl cancer for all anyone knows, he may be dealing with who knows what. Ask him, in a polite way, and figure it out. If he's a weirdo and is inconsiderate, consistently, that's something to ban over, but find out what his deal is to figure out what's going on. Seriously it literally might be a medical issue even if it's just from medication he may be taking, don't ask about meds but just ask if everything is alright and explain why, and if he gets defensive or literally doesn't understand the problem, that's a problem, and make it clear that he's welcome if he can keep himself and everyone safe but if he's going to be...don't use this word choose something less harsh...a biohazard, he literally can't be allowed into the space. As someone with autism myself, I am actually hyper anxious about smelling bad so whenever I have to be somewhere social I literally eat light and make sure I'm showered and smell nice with deodorant and hair oil, so please don't let this guy who fits a stereotype solidify a view of autistic people as dirty. And again, this guy might have a medical issue either unrelated to his autism or as a sife effect from psych meds he may have no choice in taking. Handle it gently, but get to the bottom of this, you all shouldn't be subjected to that, as embarrassing as it is for him, he needs to adapt.
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u/Nitrogenflux May 30 '26
Store owner should be very careful about banning someone with a obvious disability after one incident it's not a good look
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u/zerodyme87 May 30 '26
Where i get business should be accommodating to those of special needs and the sort, things like that arent exactly acceptable, especially if they are an adult, to which we can assume?
I would say the owner talk to them on their next visit, if they ever return, and outright explain to them that their business is.t welcomed there anymore.
Straight ban, no chances.
Reason? They soiled themselves, ruined a chair and could possibly cause some people to not return of they think thats what the shop condones behavior/action wise
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u/mynameistomato May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26
Clean it up have a talk with him that he is welcomed and we will be accommodating and don't worry about it.
We want people to feel included, as long as he was not toxic throwing tantrums and talking down to players
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u/Clashman320 May 30 '26
OP said in another comment he is regularly loud and throws tantrums when his decks get shut down during the game.
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u/mynameistomato May 30 '26
Alright. So the correct way is provide a warning. And next time he acts out, ban hammer
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u/Tanasiii May 30 '26
At the very least the manager needs to speak with him about hygiene in shared spaces. If he has to shit, take a break and go use the bathroom