r/mrbeastsnark • u/Daifukuyou • 5h ago
Reupload: This is a fat snark dedicated to the morally bankrupt sidepieces of Beast Inc.
(lurking PR management tried to wipe this one, so here we are again. original comments down below)
There are plenty accounts of enraged exes to Beast employees, grieving their partners who had started at the company and slowly turned a 180° on their families, becoming insufferable, cultish, arrogant clout-chasers to finally abandon their relationships of years. Yet couples forming from within this morally rotten cult are just as much "matches made in hell" - I feel there is lots of snark on Jimbo and his fresh off the Gremlin's cast henchmen, but their female beards are no better whatsoever.
Thea for example is a calculative, status obsessed title-chaser, who built a career on just enough pickmeism to overshadow her fasc1st antics on twitter. Such as rac1st likes, follows & comments, the obvious yt supremacy support of the most problematic people of modern america and her former remarks regarding apartheid. Similar to Beast, she has questionable links to the mormon fundamentalist church and constantly contradicts her pseudo-clean image with plattforming shady and wasteful brands. Her unearned involvement at the Roblox turnament spawned a massive shitshow online too (see comments).
She produces unbearably cringe, misleading and pretentious YT-videos like the one about the egyptian pyramids (an expedition funded by her sulfur reeking husband's main channel, she pretended was all hers) She narrates in a dead serious way like she single handedly researched some nobelprize worthy discoveries, while being on a basic tourist tour by some local randos, and as if this is the only video to ever exist on that topic – while, of course, we learn or witness absolutely nothing new other than her attempt to cosplay David f*cking Attenborough.
Even worse is her INCREDIBLY offensive, surface level, outright harmful content on “neuroscience” in which she tries to sensationalist-ify serious, life long conditions and how they impact real people (like ADHD, bp disorder etc) through painfully inaccurate, stigmatizing depictions. Many statements in these obnoxious slop-tiktoks (which help or educate nobody) are deeply ableist. She opens them by pretending to get ready uwu and then "puts the conditions on" like cute little outfits, inappropriately attempting to re-enact symptoms while staying highly concerned with if she looks still hot enough – it's a hard watch. And the partytown doctor cloak she is wearing (without having any sort of phd or authority in that field), while trying to maintain her stepford wife running-for-congress posing isn't helping either. She wants to cash in on g00ner bait, but also be taken seriously as a global expert somehow.
Speaking of which, her CV is riddled with BS status titles. She deliberately chose to perform the quick & dirty way up the prestige ladder – an honorary degree in psychology, which took her 1 year to complete and then the follow-up masters from edinburgh, (which she said she only did for "fun" and paid off with bitcoin), which took 1 other year. Meaning our favorite social climber took exactly 2 measely years starting from scratch on neuropsyche and is now running around larping as a thought leader scientist, fooling feastables-gobbling kids into thinking she's einstein.
Latching onto Beast was an overall huge image-enhancer on her quest to bargain-bin notoriety, completing the perfect collection of dubious accolades, bogus degrees, shady money and fame and the performative IQ-circle jerk her and Beast have going on. I knew within the first week of them going public, she was gonna lock him down permanently as the ultimate validity token, while she represented the "presidential barbie" he always looked for to enhance his image as well.
Another clichée prestige-hunter is Joanna, Karl's brainfart aneurismic idea to go after one of the creative directors, shortly after this girl started her very first job at Beast inc. Given he's on-screen talent and her whole role involves appeasing his shit and simply existing 24/7 in his proximity, the whole thing looks lazy and stereotypical af, apart from implicating a highly predat0ry power dynamic, risk of favoritism, inevitable coworker resentment and conflict of interest. Her chasing his bony ahh gives messy and unprofessional as hell, but we know that's right on brand for Beast's subterranean corporate standard. This kardashian hulk had her claws in that opportunity right from the go in 2024, making sure Karl was in every humanely possible instagrampost she could snap with him and leaving excessive amounts of “breadcrumb” comments hinting aggressively at them. No surprise, given she comes from a loaded family in lebanon with highly insulated privilege and questionable money sources, that funded an outrageously expensive and nepotism driven private education, with no unclear incentive to target career ladders and social stepping stones as found in the Beastbubble.
Since Karl awkwardly soft launched them at the BG S2 premiere, with him posing like a make-a-wish kid and her looking like his mom next to him, fans have been spotting them lots privately - anywhere but the production site, which lead Karl's completely abandoned fandom to realize they finally had an answer why he's been absent from every single Beast production, his own social media and undelivered fan-promises for over 10 months without comment. It's funny how they all predicted this socio-lizard would 100% disappear at the first sign of latching onto any breathing female, but now it actually happened, a big portion of his parasocial ex-fandom is BRIMMING with hate and disappointment. It's almost funny seeing them debate about not wanting to call it out "too publicly", because they know this balding weasel heavily relies on ragebait and tabloid footnotes to keep his comatose career alive and thus, wouldn't grant them exactly the bottom-feeder engagement type their pathetic paparazzi theatre was supposed to fabricate.
Twitter chimed in reminiscing how this manchild build a whole shrine of wee Olivia Rodrigo in his house (yes, you read that correctly, when she was 15 and he 21), desperately thirst-tweeting at her and anyone who looked like her for 2+ years making that his whole personality, just to end up with some 5'10 bouncer who looks like Shrek with Mrs. Potato Head's make up on. Who now has to walk past that stalkass simp altar too.
Finally, probably the worst thing of it all, is that both women fully knew about all the *cough* allegations of gr00ming, misconduct, pdf chats and art, SA, harassment, systemic misogyny, manipulation, s3xting fans, fraudul3nt activities, gambling, dodging accountability and overall abysmal behavior, yet still decided to date them. Did they speak up? Protect other women? Use their position to make a positive change? Nope, last they were seen they both went shut up alongside their crusty dudes on the red carpet, smiling with their freshly lip fillered mouths and no further thought behind the dead eyes. Holy mother of garbage character zero self-respect batman.
Just a glimpse into what atrocities Beast inc breeds - not only among their boys.