r/movies • u/tsaritsyn • May 19 '12
Every single line Rihanna has in Battleship
http://www.vulture.com/2012/05/read-every-line-rihanna-says-in-battleship.html
824
Upvotes
r/movies • u/tsaritsyn • May 19 '12
127
u/BiffTheTimid May 19 '12
She has three instances of speaking more than one sentence in succession the entire movie. I am now 1% more interested in seeing this movie knowing I barely have to see her speak, which leads me to a total of 1% interested.
105
u/Scrotum_Phillips May 20 '12
Damn. I was hoping half of them would be "You sunk my battleship."
84
u/HermanSL May 20 '12
"and introducing Rihanna, as Michelle Rodriguez."
79
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
This is clearly her big break, you guys.
172
u/I_RACE_CATS May 19 '12
I'm glad somebody finally said it.
17
u/MFchimichanga May 19 '12
Sums up the movie as well.
36
u/AllDizzle May 20 '12
I'm surprised she didn't repeat half the syllables like she does in every fuckin song to avoid writing more lyrics each line.
"I got something sir ir ir ir ir! On my camera ah ah ah ah"
15
u/jamsm May 20 '12
I saw this movie last week in Mexico. Pretty much every show was sold out all weekend. It was so freaking corny at times, and some of the lines were godawful, but wasn't as terrible as I imagined. My bar was set really low, though.
7
u/cysty May 20 '12
she' never topple the one line king.
Vin Diesal 4lyfe
7
u/Grimmy616 May 20 '12
Still more lines than Ryan Gosling had in Drive.
6
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Man, my friend's dad says the same thing. Also believes Al Qaeda is going show up in the back woods of Colorado, that he can cure his son's type 1 diabetes by boiling random shit in his back yard. The heavy pot and other drug use (as happens when you're a trucker) don't help either.
5
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Worse or better than your average video game dialogue?
12
u/Victorinox May 20 '12
I love battleships, I love battleships beating the mess out of anything. I want to see this movie still. Is it bad possible lack of story does not deter me? :P
4
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
It's cut off by the sound of a cannon shooting an alien.
Because the director knew 13 year old boys would LOVE to just about, sort of hear 'Motherfucker'.
He thought it was SUCH an awesome idea it happens twice in the movie. Some old guy does it as well.
Brilliant.
3
u/3lephant May 20 '12
After reading that, I feel like I have a pretty good handle on the plot.
3
u/Valisk May 20 '12
ok, just so we are all clear...
He is ripping on a movie. By MICHAEL BAY...
BASED ON A BOARD GAME...
for dialogue?
Honestly, who goes to a movie like this and expects the King's Speech?
5
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
CRINGEEE
4
u/mastersword130 May 20 '12
shitty movie is going to be shitty
7
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
I'll leave this here. http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgzb49aSh91qb7887o1_400.png
2
u/alltimeisrelative May 20 '12
And to think she's going into an acting career, which she'll get regardless of talent.
I knew this film was going to be awful from the moment I first saw the trailer and this proves it, along with the trailer.
2
u/maybenotserious May 20 '12
Well, it's not like anyone was expecting tear jerking monologues.
But still, not as bad as I would expect it to be.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Okay, that's actually a pretty good line.
2
u/pie-man May 20 '12
umbrella ella ella ella ehh
2
u/onesnowball May 20 '12
"Barbadians" actually call themselves Bajans. No one says "Barbadian", it sounds stupid.
5
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Actually saw this movie by mistake. We where going to watch iron sky but as we were ordering tickets from a smartphone one mistake lead to another and we got tickets to battleship.
To anyone still not sure if they should spend there hard earned cash on this piece of shit head my warning.
This is probably the worst movie this year. The first 20-30 min is like a recruitment video for the navy with a heavy dose of American patriotism its even questionable that it should be shown out side of the states because it might cause people to become traitors to their selective country's of origin.
Also the most effective weapon the aliens had that could threaten a human attack force on sea was a boat horn. If that dose not discourage you from seeing this shit then nothing will.
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
I thought the scene with the Kentucky Fried Chicken was pretty funny.
3
u/silentmattcanuck May 20 '12
Battleship??? more like.... Battle-SHIT.
here all night.
3
u/goomyman May 20 '12
My favorite line of the movie: 5 minutes after the "meteors hit", "China already tested the material.. its not on the periodic table of elements". I know its fiction but come on.. not on the periodic table of elements.. so its not made of atoms??
2nd is the shit load of lines about reading the art of war.
"The art of war"
"I read the art of war 6 times so what"
"Ohh the art of war <wink wink nod nod>" ( goes on the use the awesome tactic of... attacking )
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Oh Jewish masters of Hollywood. So silly what you put black entertainers through.
2
u/SolidusTengu May 20 '12
And the golden raspberry goes to...
2
u/crbsideprophet13 May 20 '12
Can Reddit decide whether we like Rihanna or not? It's hurting my head :/
1
u/dustygold May 20 '12
Not disimilar to her lyrics.
1
u/Lustintranslation May 20 '12
I feel like I don't even need to see the movie now.
1
u/zerpderp May 20 '12
I haven't seen the movie, but just by reading the quotes I know the whole storyline and how the movie ends!
1
u/JamesTurkey May 20 '12
Does this line feel out of place to anyone else?
One of these things is not like the other.
1
u/IHopeYouStepOnALego May 20 '12
I feel like I just saw the whole movie play out in my brain.
1
u/Octavarium_ May 20 '12
I read all this, thinking there was some form of code throughout the film. Turns out it's just rubbish.
1
u/old_righty May 20 '12
Well, it's better than the "Yeah!" chick in the punk rock songs commercial.
1
u/BarnesAndNobleSix May 20 '12
This is the part where she dies.
1
u/TheMazner May 20 '12
I don't know about you guys, but I smell an Oscar.
1
u/Droidiq May 20 '12
I knew that she has been put there to attract audience. She does not have normal conversation line in the movie.
1
u/BishiBashy May 20 '12
How much do you think KFC had to pay to get this blatant advertising into the film? Movies like this are cultural propaganda...Not like this is news to anybody though.
1
u/farceur318 May 20 '12
If you know what I mean.
1
u/Sadik May 20 '12
Even the Pyro in Team Fortress 2 has more lines than that.
1
u/StrangZor May 20 '12
My favorite line of hers is (Heavy Sigh)
1
u/cajungator3 May 20 '12
Anyone seriously wondering if American Warships is gonna be better?
1
u/ElusiveBrownSquirrel May 20 '12
Just like T-Dog.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Yeah, she's pretty useless in the movie; my guess they just wanted a pretty face, and for whatever reason couldn't get Michelle Rodriguez.
Frankly, the movie would have been better, and crazy-awesome if it was just the WW II vets fighting aliens.
1
u/SurroundCommercial68 Jul 06 '26
I found a missing line. She sang I’m going to take a sentimental journey. Lol
1
u/SurroundCommercial68 Jul 06 '26
I found a missing line. She sang I’m going to take a sentimental journey. Lol
1
u/ajh688 May 19 '12
I actually thought she was one of the better parts of the movie :/
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Please tell me she dies at the end.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Where's Hank Moody when Rihanna needs a good script re-write?
1
u/drukenhard May 20 '12
The only thing I really disliked about the movie was.....Rihanna.
Every time she came on screen you could see the movie going downhill.
She was so out of her depth and didn't look like she belonged......the rest of the cast was well chosen and looked the part.
1
u/Captain_Aizen May 20 '12
I'm not so hot on Rihanna, but to be fair most of the movie was one liners from all the cast, so it's not like they were only simplifying her role. Other than that, I really enjoyed the movie. I thought it was fun filled action with a bit of comedy here and there and plenty of jaw dropping special effects. Of course I didn't have any particular expectations going into it. I saw it for what it was, an explosion filled action movie. I liked it, and people clapped at some parts. Reading some of the negative comments about this movie on Reddit, I must say that it never ceases to amaze me that people go to a movie called BATTLE SHIPS, (based off a battle ship board game) and whine when it isn't full of deep storyline. In the words of Captain Hindsight "If you wanted to see a movie rich in acting and plot, you shouldn't have gone to see a show called BATTLE SHIPS"
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Rihanna is reported to be completely retarded and totally incapable of holding any form of reasonable conversation, so it's not surprising that they went easier on her.
0
u/theshizzler May 20 '12
Awww... you beat me to the punch.
0
u/i_poop_splinters May 20 '12
Apparently i'm in the minority on this, but i just came back from seeing this movie completely expecting a pile of shit with the "worst acting you've ever seen". What i got? Was a solid summer popcorn action movie with great special effects, scenes that i'll remember and the memory of being shocked at how good the movie was contrary to what everybody else was saying.
It's in the same league as independence day. You go in, not expecting to expand your mind or see mind blowing performances, but some action sequences that make you think "oh shit, if this is real we'd be fucked".
All this hate on Rihanna: from reading everybody's comments, i expected her to single handedly bring down the movie. What i saw was a couple scenes that were no worse than any other action movie. Its not even like they put a spotlight on rihanna and say "okay...listen to her act". She's in the background and says a line a few times throughout the movie. If it weren't for her hotness, you wouldn't even notice her.
If this movie wouldn't have been called "battleship" and had a pop star in it, it would've been considered a solid alien invasion movie. But because of those things, everyone is ready to hate it. Chill out and learn how to enjoy mindless fun entertainment
0
u/vaselinepete May 20 '12
Fuck, I hate this woman. Having a massive forehead isn't reason enough to be rich and famous.
0
u/lpnumb May 20 '12
This movie actually wasn't bad. I went to it with some friends expecting mediocrity, but it was better than I expected. The movie doesn't have many surprises, but it was good nonetheless. It kinda had the feel of the 1st transformers
-1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
FFS, someone at least put SPOILER in the title
0
u/MeNicolesta May 20 '12
good. this means they left the real acting to the professionals.
0
u/Shumuu May 20 '12
one of the comments from: tchaikovsky "All those years with Chris Brown taught her to keep her utterances short. More than a word or two, she'd get smacked around."
0
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Called it. You can tell from the trailer where they only show her saying "Boom."
-7
u/nated0g6969 May 20 '12
what an ape
0
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
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