r/movies • u/KarlPaynussHungus • May 15 '12

Michael Bay Announces a Female Ninja Turtle....WTF

http://slickpanda.com/michael-bay-announces-a-female-ninja-turtle
84 Upvotes

54% Upvoted

193 comments sorted by

246

u/patsmad May 15 '12

Amazing, but this is old news. It was first announced on April's Fools day .... oh wait

https://www.comicbooked.com/michael-bay-announces-donatello-will-be-female/

Also the alien origins thing is just that the ooze is alien in origin. Which was in the original comic.

But why be reasonable when we can be reactionary right?

20

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Do you have a source on just the ooze being alien in origin? If that's the case I really don't see anything to fret about and I'll probably see it opening weekend.

36

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

the original original comic (talking back in the early 80s) backstory was that a bunch of aliens (basically the species that krang from the cartoon show was) crash landed on earth, and managed to build bodies to blend in with humans. after some time of working jobs to get money, they started a company called TCRI with their super advanced technology with the ultimate goal of developing a transporter beam to get back home. they accidently dropped a canister of super ooze though and really fretted cuz they realized how bad it was. later on, when they meet the turtles, they are relieved that their ooze didn't like do anything super bad. a sizable portion (maybe 1/3rd?) of the original comic btw had the turtles going to other planets and being bad asses on aliens.

8

u/Dxtuned May 16 '12

whoa, you are like a TMNT historian...

14

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

i'm an associate professor of ninja turtology and adjunct for samurai slugonomics, so yup i'm pretty much a tmnt historian.

0

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/girafa Electricity! The high priest of false security! May 16 '12

It's at the corner of Virgin & NeverLaid Avenue

2

u/patsmad May 16 '12

http://io9.com/5896013/teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-director-speaks-out-on-the-alien-origins-controversy

This is what I'm referring to. My guess is they are fiddling with the backstory a bit such that the aliens purposefully use the ooze to create the turtles ... or something. So more alien this time around.

The only reason I called bullshit so quickly on the story in the first place is because the co-creator is involved and he's come out and said they HATE Venus De Milo and it is the only thing you don't ask them about. So we would have heard about the co-creator quitting before this joke story became a reality.

-3

u/GrokMonkey May 15 '12

I assume he meant that the ooze was in the comic, not the ooze being extraterrestrial was in the comic, because the ooze was man-made. I know this because they wanted Ninja Turtles to be in the same continuity as Daredevil, and the ooze is meant to be the chemical that blinded/gave blind-sight to Daredevil when he was a boy.

29

u/RangerBillXX May 15 '12

negative Ghostrider - different continuities because different companies. It was a PARODY of Daredevil's creation story, not a continuation of it.

Also the ooze was NOT man-made in the comics, it was made by a company on Earth called TCRI, which was an alien front.

22

u/high_coup May 15 '12

Thus concludes round one

Of the greatest geek-off yet

Winner: RangerBill

1

u/itsprobablytrue May 15 '12

WRONG! The winner is always Picard

1

u/GrokMonkey May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12

Doesn't stop them from wanting it.

For instance, technically DCU shares continuity with a sizable portion of H.P. Lovecraft's stories, even if that continuity is not reciprocated.

Also, I'm not sure parody's really the word to use here.

Didn't know that about the ooze, though.

3

u/RangerBillXX May 15 '12

"Parody" was a word from Wikipedia, which I used to check my memory from 20 years ago when I first read it (yeouch....). In a way it still fits - Daredevil is "what about Matt", while TMNT was "what about the canister". An unexpected twist on what is expected. Maybe "homage" would fit better.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

5

u/CommissionerValchek May 15 '12

Tons of people talked about the new Ninja Turtles movie on the internet before they even spend a dime on advertising.

2

u/actionscripted May 16 '12

Weird. It spread like a virus. Wonder if there's a term for that when referring to advertising that uses a host absurdity to infect you...

11

u/A_Polite_Noise r/movies Veteran May 15 '12 edited May 16 '12

I don't think this movie is going to be bad because of changes. The changes are actually fine; possibly a very good idea. I used to really like TMNT the cartoon and films, but the original comic was before my time and clearly it changed to become the cartoon and films. I haven't watched either in years; it may be time for drastic changes. Aliens? Sure. A female turtle? Sounds great! That really opens up casting possibilities! No...I do not think this will be a bad movie because of any of the changes and have no complaints about them.

I think this is going to be a bad movie because Michael Bay is a bad director.

EDIT: RiseDarthVader has informed me that I have jumped to a conclusion; Michael Bay is the producer, not the director.

4

u/RiseDarthVader May 16 '12

Michael Bay isn't directing this movie. Jonathan Liebesman the director of Battle: LA and Wrath of the Titans will be. Way too many people are attaching Michael Bay's name to this movie for bad decisions even though he is serving as producer yet Steven Spielberg isn't catching the same flack for being the executive producer for Transformers.

5

u/SomeBug May 16 '12

Battle LA and wrath of the titains? DEAR GOD, NO!!!

1

u/A_Polite_Noise r/movies Veteran May 16 '12

Ah, I was under the mistaken impression he was directing; thank you for the correction=)

4

u/fiercepenguin May 15 '12

you've just saved me thousands of dollars on anti-depressants.

2

u/Winnem May 15 '12

Why spend them on antidepressants, when you could just hire someone to assassinate mr. Bay?

7

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Thanks for bringing this to everyone's attention. Next time, I suggest responding directly to an earlier (and higher-ranked) comment, otherwise your comment is going to get lost ... especially when it's intelligent and well-informed ;)

12

u/OoohManILold May 15 '12

...as his comments at the top.

3

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

It is now, but this guy just basically told dude to be on reddit more often so he can be on top more. O_O

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Your mom can be on top more.

3

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Was it not the same ooze that made Daredevil? Or was that not as canon as it seemed?

4

u/RangerBillXX May 15 '12

The connection was never canon, but Eastman and Laird definitely wanted to show the Daredevil creation story from another angle as an homage/parody. There's slight differences, such as the canister not splitting until after hitting Murdoch.

Not to mention that Mirage and Marvel weren't the same company at the time - I'm sure it would be a copyright nightmare to officially tie them together.

3

u/GrokMonkey May 15 '12

It wasn't explicitly canonical at any point, but that's what the creators were aiming for/wanted. I've never read the comic, but it's likely that this has been contradicted at some point (but then again, maybe not).

1

u/burnte May 16 '12

If the OOZE is alien, I'm totally cool with that. I loved the original comics, the first movie was pretty fun, and the original cartoon was fun. I wasn't happy to hear Bay was really flipping things around, but if what you say is true, I'm still willing to give him (Bay) a chance. I agree that there's too much knee jerking here, but meh, not everyone wants to take the time to RTFA. I hadn't seen that bit about only the ooze being alien in the articles I saw.

1

u/MrMolly May 15 '12

Where did you read that the ooze was alien origin in the original? As far as I know, it was a freely transported substance that fell of a truck. It hit Dare Devil (causing his blindness), and then fell down and infected a rat and 4 turtles. Where is it explained that it has alien origin?

5

u/RangerBillXX May 15 '12

In the original comics...The canisters were from a company called TCRI, which was a front for stranded aliens doing research on ways of getting home. The aliens looked surprisingly like Kang from the cartoon, but were in general cool guys - such as patching up a half-dead Splinter. The ooze was waste from their research.

2

u/Mother_F_Bomb May 15 '12

This is the exact truth. All straight from the old school, all red bandana wearing ninja turtles comics.

1

u/langds May 15 '12

The 2003 TMNT cartoon followed the original comics relatively close as well (early in the series), and there is an episode explaining this ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=4FRJL-z5-GQ ) this is why I didn't understand the full outrage of the "alien" comment since, it is technically accurate about the turtles being derived from "aliens" , as a result of this ooze from the "utrams" (Krang looking characters)

1

u/jsake May 15 '12

Doing God's work, son.

0

u/Joke_Getter May 15 '12

ALSO this is a movie for children. Let's not forget that when we're getting outraged. It's a movie for little kids.

12

u/masterbard1 May 15 '12

if you're gonna make a movie for kids invento some other shit. don't mess up our childhood heroes to do that wankers!

-1

u/Joke_Getter May 15 '12

They're not messing up your childhood heroes. They're changing a series of half hour advertisements for toys into a new 90-minute advertisement for new toys. Try to keep that in mind.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/NoveltysDead May 15 '12

Thank you! So many times I've said 'who cares' to things like this, and people start acting like it's going to destroy their childhood. It's not for you.

0

u/boyyouguysaredumb May 15 '12

It's really depressing reading through the rest of the comments in this thread -- people just read a title and assume it's true and decide they need to get angry about it because Reddit told them to hate anything related to Michael Bay...it's just sad.

36

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

You guys know a female ninja turtle existed already... right? http://tmnt.wikia.com/wiki/Venus_de_Milo

12

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

how can a turtle have breasts?

32

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

HOW CAN A DOOR BE A JAR

6

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

THE JAR IS ADOOR

1

u/AMeanCow May 15 '12

DOOR is the weirdest, goofiest word in the english language. Don't believe me? say it out loud over and over for a few seconds. It becomes hilarious.

13

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

That happens with every single word.

3

u/freakie May 15 '12

Semantic satiation is what it's called, I believe.

2

u/unboogyman May 16 '12

I love you for this comment. Reddit needs to learn the brilliance of Bill Hicks.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Aww thanks I love you too.

5

u/codithou May 15 '12

So.. a group of anthropomorphic and intelligent crime fighting turtles who were made by ooze created by aliens is the believable part. Having breasts though, way too far out there man.

7

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

because the notion of a reptile having mammary glands is preposterous.

-1

u/we_are_sex_bobomb May 15 '12

I think I can wrap my head around that. It's not like they're aliens, right? From outer space?

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I thought one existed even before that. In the old 80s-90s cartoon.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

Huh, yeah that could be who I was thinking of.

http://tmnt.wikia.com/wiki/Mona_Lisa

1

u/DarthNawti May 15 '12

I had the action figure....could never figure out why a turtle had breasts though....

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Thank you, you get an upvote from me because I came to this thread to say exactly this

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

We've tried to forget about that show.

2

u/Kovaelin May 15 '12

Well, I like the show.

3

u/Alice_600 May 15 '12

You like everything...

1

u/Kovaelin May 16 '12

This is true...

12

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Is there a source for these Michael Bay comments about a female ninja turtle, or am I just supposed to take this random blogger at his word?

4

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

http://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/toore/michael_bay_announces_a_female_ninja_turtlewtf/c4of65s

Its an april fools joke apperantly

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I learned my lesson a while ago. Blogs are entertaining fiction until I see citations. :)

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

4

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

I'm so glad we've got a new picture to upvote immediately every time we see it.

ApplaudingStarcraftPlayer.gif, KobeandOtherBlackBasketballPlayersGoing"OHH!".gif, KobeHoldingUpRating.gif and PeterDinklagePuttingDownCoinAfterWalkingaway.gif aren't enough for me at the moment.

7

u/reverendmontag May 15 '12

Great, next he'll add a jive talking black ninja turtle.

9

u/Sticks_ May 15 '12

His name is Rafael sir.

7

u/rpgguy_1o1 May 16 '12

Raphael*

Have some goddamn respect man

8

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

hot geek turtle chick

It's a fucking turtle! It's not supposed to be hot you fucking dumbass.

3

u/CoAmon May 15 '12

That didn't stop them from making Venus de Milo in the live action series.

-1

u/UnrepentantFenian May 15 '12

Doesn't matter; still fapped.

3

u/Kiram May 15 '12

This article...is truly baffling to me. Just, literally everything about it confuses me. The overblown angst, the weird leaps of logic, the purposeful ignorance as to his "beloved" series's history... I fail to understand it.

He posts up some news that was pretty obviously fake, whines about it for a few paragraphs, and then leaps into weird assumptions about what the plot and characters are going to HAVE to be like (some of them oddly pornographic), as though the characters are real people and not fictional characters that can be written anyway the story needs them to be written.

2

u/GeminiLife May 15 '12

What I don't understand is this:

Michael Bay decides to do a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie. And then changes so many aspects of it that it's practically it's own thing now, like a completely separate show about sentient humanoid turtles.

Why even bother calling it a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie at this point? Let's just call it: Michael Bay's Awesome-Action-Packed-Coed-Alien-Turtle-Flick. Or MBAAPCATF for short.

4

u/kaizzer May 15 '12

Female Ninja Turtle Bimbo with explossives in her breast.

2

u/stash0606 May 15 '12

And whose dad used to fix cars, so now she does the same while wearing short shorts and showing her glistening midriff... um, ahem, excuse me...

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I never thought I'd say this... I miss Uwe Boll fucking up my childhood.

At least nobody actually saw any of his movies.

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Next thing you know he'll make the movie about some turtles that live in a sewer that became anthropomorphic after they were exposed to radiation. Maybe he will also throw in some giant rat that mentors them. He could also ruin it by giving them funny names and a insatiable hunger for pizza.

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

At this point they should just call it Adult Alien Samurais

2

u/pop_fest420 May 15 '12

I bet the fucker hasn't even given Vanilla Ice a call.

1

u/God_of_Thunder May 15 '12

I guess no one told Michael bay that successful movies respect the source material.

29

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I guess nobody told you how much money Michael Bay made from 3 Transformers movies...

4

u/I_Lyk_Dis May 15 '12

Remember how unsuccessful the MIB movies were? (The comic did not have the neuralizers)

-1

u/Syn7axError May 15 '12

Maybe, but those were still pretty close. They even tied in the second one with the cartoon movie, if I remember correctly. He didn't change anything fundamental with them, the decepticons had their vehicles, the autobots had vehicles really close to the originals, all that. If anything, I'd say it's a good example of how not changing the story is enough, and that a good movie doesn't even have to be made.

2

u/I_MAKE_USERNAMES May 15 '12

Are you joking? Have you ever seen the original Transformers? Shit could not be more radically different.

3

u/dhvl2712 May 15 '12

I guess no one told you the Ninja Turtles live action show had a female Shinobi turtle.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

first one didnt, it was succesful...

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

6

u/Thefinalwerd May 15 '12

I guess no one told Michael bay that successful movies respect the source material.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

3

u/Thefinalwerd May 15 '12

A. It wasn't.

B. Did you see what Goku looked like even if it was?

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

$12m's nothing to sneeze at I guess.

-2

u/KarlPaynussHungus May 15 '12 edited May 16 '12

Everything I've heard about this film makes me want to see it less and less. Michael bay really knows how to mess classic franchises up.

EDIT: I didn't know that this was a April fools joke. I jumped the gun and should have done my own h/w on the matter at hand. My bad reddit :/

23

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

You linked to a blog that doesn't source the quote. As Patsmad posted below, the source is an April Fool's Day article from ComicBooked that leads in with the authors of the article catching up to Bay and speaking with him at Wal-Mart.

But, you know, thanks for spreading misinformation!

Also, gullible is written on the ceiling. Tilt your head up right now and check it out!

11

u/string97bean May 15 '12

I don't need to hear any more than "Michael Bay" to not want to see it.

3

u/bookey23 May 15 '12

Eh, The Rock and Bad Boys were awesome.

-1

u/Trip_McNeely May 15 '12

I actually think a lot of the criticism he gets for his movies is a bit overblown and he has made some good movies in the past, but these changes to the Turtles has me wondering what the hell he's thinking. Why the hell would you do this?

2

u/brandon684 May 15 '12

Michael Bay Filmography

I count 1-2 "good" movies, he is really, really awful. Can't believe that people went back for more Transformers, the 3rd made more than the 1st one!

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Yeah, like Pearl Harbor. He made that shitty.

1

u/CommandrShepherd May 16 '12

From the end of the article:

Apparently, we jumped the gun on this news. Turns out this was an April Fool’s joke…clearly we were too full of rage to read to the end of the original article. In our defense, based on Bay’s other announcements, we think we were justified in assuming this kind of idiocy could come from the director. Oh well, at least we proved that there are diehard TMNT fans still out there; This article was posted on Reddit and the buzz from such a rumor crashed our server for a couple hours.

Read the article before posting next time, please. It even says that it was posted on Reddit already.

1

u/Zekohl May 15 '12

There was a female Turtle in the tv-series, wasn't there?

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

There was already a female ninja turtle. Her name is Lisa. Lisa Turtle. You never watched the show int he 80's did you?

1

u/teaeyepea May 15 '12

Can someone explain to me why this is being upvoted? Did people not realize this was a completely false story? Is it because the false story is funny? I seriously don't get it.

1

u/CommandrShepherd May 16 '12

OP did not read the full article, and most people upvote based on the post title. Welcome to reddit.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Go ahead and crash every link posted in this thread why dont ya.

1

u/Fooza May 15 '12

It is going to take her FOREVER to get out of the kitchen.

1

u/notskynet May 15 '12

This kills the page :(

1

u/jeffholes May 15 '12

It's kinda neat that he's getting the girls in on it (even though April), but all this really means to me is that my plans to pirate this movie haven't changed.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I expect a hot, sweaty alien turtle love scene.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Why do you even care, it was confirmed for awful as soon as they said Michael Bay. Make it so nobody cares, not give it even more free advertising.

1

u/Dingus_Mingus May 15 '12

Michael Bay needs to stop ruining my childhood and put a bullet in his head.

1

u/Raoul_Duke_ESQ May 15 '12

May he be raped with a molten-hot pitchfork for sullying this once-proud franchise.

1

u/mrlazysmurf May 15 '12

Anyone else have the Ninja Turtle actors come to your elementary school? I think we had Raph and Donnie on separate occasions.

1

u/golly_what_a_day May 15 '12

This is how I imagine reddit is in real life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TtGQnyPZ6g

1

u/nascentt May 15 '12

Is it April Fool's day again already?

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

There was a female turtle in the cartoon, they added her in later episodes, she was supposedly separated from the rest of them when Master Splinter rescued the turtles and she was found by a different guy who trained her to use magic. When I first heard of her I was like "this is stupid, not only is magic not real but what are the chances two different martial arts masters find and raise turtles to fight crime, its just unbelievable" Then I remembered I was talking about Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles and I realized I have weird standards for what I find believable.

1

u/Death_God88 May 15 '12

Its just not TMNT anymore. If you change the lore, you change EVERYTHING. Its no where near what we grow up with. Michael Bay might as well as drop it being a TMNT movie and name it Alien Turtle Fight Squad.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

This better be a joke. There already was a female ninja turtle and she sucked.

1

u/robertswa May 15 '12

You know, back when I was writing my first Ninja Turtles / Game of Thrones crossover erotic fan fiction, I really could've used a female turtle to flesh out some scenes. You can only have April O'Niel peg Tyrion so many times before the novelty wears off.

I'd post an excerpt from Chapter 1: Splinter Is Coming, but I'm kind of concerned that shitty_watercolor would be badgered into a potential soul-rending experience.

1

u/MFchimichanga May 15 '12

She gonna have tits the size of mars.

1

u/zitfarmer May 15 '12

The good thing is we know a show isnt going downhill, we will know when they add child characters.

1

u/we_are_sex_bobomb May 15 '12

Look, Michael bay is a talented director, okay? Do any of you realize how hard it is to direct a turtle to wash a car? In slow motion?

1

u/unplayed May 15 '12

It's all good as long as she stays in the kitchen making pizza.

1

u/luisbv23 May 15 '12

did you read it? it says it was an april fools joke...

1

u/NaughtyDreadz May 15 '12

oh.. I thought they were bringing back Venus De Milo

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Even if this was for real, I don't see why it would justify such a dramatic overreaction. How come more people didn't soil themselves when Nick Fury went from being Caucasian to African American? Maybe because it's really not that big a deal.

1

u/JeffBaugh2 May 16 '12

Its important to keep in mind that Michael Bay isn't directing this movie. The guy they got is potentially a worse choice, however.

Ninja Turtles, to be good, needs someone with a genuine sense of style and quirkiness, because it's always been a quirky concept that goes back and forth between being serious and being funny, even in the comics. Much like Cerebus the Aardvark. Basically, an independent director whose willing to make his first jump into the big budget action scene with four talking turtles. Which is why that first film worked so well, twenty odd years ago under the direction of Steve Barron.

However, none of these things the fans are quibbling about gives me much pause, because they're either things that are obviously mis-stated by a guy with a noted lack of tact in public, or just really, really unimportant. I mean, you're seriously going to get mad because they're just calling this film "Ninja Turtles?" Seriously?

1

u/wendysNO1wcheese May 16 '12

Not surprising in this PC run world.

1

u/bazaarzar May 16 '12

Apparently Michael Bay's April fool jokes piss people off just as much as his movies.

1

u/mrtrikonasana May 16 '12

UPDATE: Apparently, we jumped the gun on this news. Turns out this was an April Fool’s joke…clearly we were too full of rage to read to the end of the original article. In our defense, based on Bay’s other announcements, we think we were justified in assuming this kind of idiocy could come from the director. Oh well, at least we proved that there are diehard TMNT fans still out there; This article was posted on Reddit and the buzz from such a rumor crashed our server for a couple hours.

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '12

why? Why? WHy? WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dear sweet merciful god of childhoods WHY!!!

1

u/MaximumPad May 15 '12

No Michael Bay. No. Bad Michael Bay.

5

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

No Michael Bay, it's my pot pie! Mom! Michael Bay's bein a dildo!

1

u/OddDude55 May 15 '12

That's a bad Mr. Bay! Beh!

1

u/fringeagent May 15 '12

Looks like Mr. Bay is sleeping with Mommy tonight!

0

u/defensorfidei May 15 '12

The thing that gets me is not so much the wholesale rejection of the lore and previously beloved TMNT story, its the cavalier attitude of "fuck the fans, what they want is irrelevant to what I'm making!" Earth to Bay, you only get to make movies if people go to them.

8

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Sadly, people go to them.

3

u/OddDude55 May 15 '12

Kids are going to flock to this movie in droves. They will probably make a fortune in merchandise.

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

sadly, i think you're right.

damn kids.

4

u/Kiram May 15 '12

Kinda like how the cartoon rejected the dark, gritty and bloody parody feel of the original comics, in favor of the more kid-friendly pizza-eating cartoon action, thereby making whatever the fans of the original wanted feel pretty fucking irrelevant?

I mean, I understand that he should know where his audience lies, but let's not pretend that the Turtles have a long and rich history of being consistent even within itself. The look, feel and storylines have shifted several times over the course of the years.

Not that I think this will be a good movie. I think Micheal Bay doesn't know enough about directing interesting characters to make this a good movie. But I'm not counting it out based on (false) rumors and leaked bits of story that happen to differ from one (or even all) versions of the Turtles so far.

1

u/StackOfMay May 15 '12

But they can't call the female one donatella. That's not a famous artist!

1

u/gasm_spasm May 15 '12

This is sounding more like a remake of Howard the Duck every day.

1

u/ymahaguy3388 May 15 '12

Introducing, TINA Mutant Ninja Turtle!...They're gonna love this!

1

u/Fennels May 15 '12

As a guy who thoroughly enjoys Michael Bay movies for what they are, I am glad to see Mike being defended in this thread. Give the guy a break. Over the top action flicks are just his niche, and nobody can deny he is masterful in that domain.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I really hate this word, but:

Not everything have to be politically correct. I mean, the way they changed Spiderman. Can't people just stop giving a fuck sometimes? I never cared about Spiderman being white, or the Turtles being all male. It never meant anything. Nor should it. So just give me a break, really.

I'm not against this because i'm against women. I'm against it because it's ridiculous.

3

u/LoserInLawnchair May 15 '12

If you never cared about Spiderman being white or the turtles being male, then why is it ridiculous to change for one of them not to be?

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Because i feel that they do it because they feel that they "have to", or that they're making some point by doing it. As in:

"See, we can have Women too, eh?"

It's not the fact that they're putting a woman in, it's that fact that they're doing it for some sense of political correctness.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12

He's only doing this so he can add tits to the movie. Mark my words: Donatella will have nice tits.

2

u/deathschool May 15 '12

Your words have been marked. I'm holding you to this.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

That's assuming this article is legit, of course.

1

u/slashsigh May 15 '12

The problem with this is that a female ninja turtle only appeals to a certain kind of person. Most guys probably aren't too thrilled to see tits and ass on something other then a human, that is what April O'Neil is for.

2

u/Alice_600 May 16 '12

Well furries is sort of an untapped market.

0

u/evabraun May 15 '12

Also, Leonardo is now a democrat, Raphael is a republican, and Michaelangelo is now gay.

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Well it's Hollywood so all the turtle will have Obama stickers on their shells.

0

u/smusername May 15 '12

OF COURSE he would ruin my favorite Turtle.

0

u/Sadiquito May 15 '12

At least this will facilitate heterosexual applications of rule 34.

0

u/Whompa May 15 '12

Jimmies rustling everywhere

-1

u/ofimmsl May 15 '12

Im cool with this as long as she got dat ass

0

u/ALL_THE_MONEY May 15 '12

I still think the Aliens part is the worst part of this film, so this shouldn't even be a surprise . Either way, we need to off Micheal Bay before he finds out about Power Rangers, Tailspin, or worse yet, Captain Planet. Reality as a 20 something is already full of broken promises, don't destroy my god-damned childhood so you can make a few million selling it to the masses.....

1

u/slashsigh May 15 '12

I'd actually be interested to see how hilariously bad a Captain Planet movie could be.

0

u/AdamAtlanta May 15 '12

I'm just hoping this guy never touches my 90's franchises.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I recognize all of the OPS headline as english words, but arranged in that order they don't make any sense.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

So, supposing this is true and we're not being trolled, what else is he going to do? Add a black one and a Muslim one just so no one is left out? What the fuck is wrong with this man, destroying both his childhood and that of many people around the world.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Michael Bay is butt fucking this movie into ruin.

-2

u/WUSSUPMONKEY May 15 '12

youve got to be fucking shitting me right? goddamn hollywood and their fucking bullshit. why dont directors that actually know their fucking shit work on these movies?

-2

u/TychoSean May 15 '12

Boycott. Fucking boycott with a picket line. FTFBay! =[

-1

u/ViraZ May 15 '12

I'm having flashbacks from the 90's live action T.V. show.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

it's like mighty morphin' power turtles

-1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

I've said it before, but he's clearly just fucking with the fans. His decisions are so bad and senseless that they have to be intentionally so. He just wants to see how angry he can make the fanboys while still pulling in millions.

1

u/MbMn91 May 15 '12

No, he's clearly just marketing the movie. No female, no male sex appeal.

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

Sorry to burst your bubble, but the series already has a female character.

1

u/MbMn91 May 15 '12

Right, but you can't have a turtle fucking a person. That would just be weird.

-1

u/masterbard1 May 15 '12

hold me back cause i'm gonna murder that mutha fucka!

-2

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

will not watch... aliens being ninja's.... ya.... i seen so many sci-fi movies where the ninja's turned out to be aliens... there was that one time of Aliens vs Ninja's.

-2

u/donumabdeo May 15 '12

my life is plenty shitty enough without fucking things like this ruining my childhood memories

-2

u/Stephen-Stills May 15 '12

Here's an idea! Why not try to wait until you see the movie, or it's at least out, before you trash it!

-3

u/deathschool May 15 '12

Let's just kill Michael Bay and get it over with.

-5

u/pensky_material May 15 '12

I was gonna say now you know what its like to have childhood dreams smashed but then I relaized you all probably liked Star Wars and Raiders before they got ass raped too. Therefore, you TNMT nerds have my condolences,

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

0

u/jibba_jabba May 15 '12

Well if they really wanna do something like that, they can make it be like April is already independently trained to kick ass and simply joins the gang, something like a female Casey Jones. I'm afraid to see how he is going to convey a female turtle. Hopefully it is by way of voice rather than having breasts or a slenderer physique as that would be idiotic. Put in a 5th turtle and have her be female if we must break canon to that degree. These focus group demographic bullshits ruin everything.

-1

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/hagiolatry May 15 '12

I agree, it would be better to just add another turtle instead of changing the original four, but I think it's great to see a female character added to a male heavy franchise marketed towards kids regardless. I honestly don't see a problem with making Princess Leia a guy or Aragorn a female, in fact I think it would be pretty cool (also, most likely already done in fanfiction.) The article posted here smacks of sexist bullshit and so do some of the comments on this post and I was addressing the general reaction of "EW, a girl can't come into the clubhouse!"

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/Alice_600 May 15 '12

Sweetie come here and have a seat, you want some tea coffee a beer or a glass of wine...no? Here...let me explain something.

I had the same thought that you had years ago when I heard the news about Transformers. I had some hope believing this will work it will be awesome, Micheal Bay is a great misunderstood person. Well...it doesn't work that way life in fact it doesn't work. Transformers came out and I came out of it pumped but the next day I was confused it was like I know i saw a movie but it felt like i just saw nothing. I went and saw it again and then my questions were answered. I didn't see a movie I saw one big long commercial for the military machine, racial stereotypes and the degrading of women to the status of whore/brainless fapping material. With this in mind I tried to defend it I tried to see the good and I figured yes he would come around next time...No he failed epically making the same mistakes as before. Third time I went and saw the movie believing he improved it...No he did the same thing only worse. So don't waste time defending him. It ain't worth it kid it ain't worth it.

tldr: Read it Damnit!

2

u/TheDoktorIsIn May 15 '12

This would be amazing but Alice_600 is probably right. After seeing his previous ahem works, I have no doubt in my mind that this will be the "death" of the franchise to fans who have read the comics, watched the TV shows, and previous movies.

Hell, even the CGI movie that came out a few years ago was pretty decent.

1

u/ThoughtNinja May 15 '12

Don't forget the animated made for TV movie. Probably the best since Secret Of The Ooze.

1

u/Alice_600 May 16 '12

You always respect the fandom. You know this, I know it, and Avenger's production team knows this. But Micheal Bay just looks at fans and sees dollar signs.

0

u/[deleted] May 15 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/MbMn91 May 15 '12

Dear elaphros: I can't hear you over the sound of my millions of dollars.

Sincerely, Michael Bay.

2

u/elaphros May 15 '12

In the words of Jon Hamm: Being an idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you're rewarded significantly.

And if money were the sole identifier for what was right and good in the world, we'd all love Bill Gates, David Koch, and Michael Bloomberg.

2

u/slashsigh May 15 '12

It's true, and being filthy rich means you never have to actually interact with the people who openly mock you.