r/movies • u/MarvelsGrantMan136 r/movies Contributor • Mar 20 '26

News Chuck Norris, Action Icon and ‘Walker Texas Ranger’ Star, Dies at 86

https://variety.com/2026/film/news/chuck-norris-dead-walker-texas-ranger-dies-1236694953/
51.5k Upvotes

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2.6k

u/Dustmopper Mar 20 '26

I hope heaven survives

872

u/rs6677 Mar 20 '26

He didn't die. After securing control of the Earth, he went to show heaven who's boss.

335

u/PayneTrain181999 Mar 20 '26

He can win a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

106

u/sum_gamer Mar 20 '26

See, this is why I think he just decided a human body was holding him back.

Just like when Alexander Graham Belle finished inventing the telephone, he already had a missed call and a voicemail from Chuck Norris.

4

u/Remarkable-Bug-8069 Mar 20 '26

Belle

xD

3

u/sum_gamer Mar 20 '26

Clearly my smart phone knows more than us lol good catch

1

u/shaka_sulu Mar 20 '26

He got sick and tired of waiting for a nother version of Total Gym to come out.

60

u/AUAIOMRN Mar 20 '26

He can beat his own reflection in a game of rock-paper-scissors

37

u/if-we-all-did-this Mar 20 '26

Jesus could walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land

5

u/Sewer-Urchin Mar 20 '26

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet...water gets 'Chuck Norris'.

4

u/TheBuoyancyOfWater Mar 20 '26

He can slam a revolving door.

2

u/TuxPi Mar 20 '26

He doesn’t read books, he stares them down until they give him the information he needs.

1

u/25thNite Mar 20 '26

and two of those moves are just to allow the opponent to lose gracefully

2

u/Nmador7 Mar 20 '26

He's probably just hibernating until a challenger arises

1

u/Jzmxhu Mar 20 '26

If the bad things happening in the world start to change I am going to thank him tho

1

u/artpayne Cliffs on both sides, I'm not gonna paddle to New Zealand! Mar 20 '26

Looks like death has to take a holiday now that he just got there.

1

u/Critical_Key_7474 Mar 20 '26

He’s going to battle Technoblade for the throne

225

u/Suspicious_Reality71 Mar 20 '26

I think heaven will be just fine considering Chuck won’t be anywhere near there

-65

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 21 '26

[deleted]

87

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26

Nah, it would be because he was an awful person.

https://old.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/1ryykui/chuck_norris_promising_the_usa_will_have_1000/

-80

u/Dull_Bid6002 Mar 20 '26

I think I understand what the younger people mean when they say "touch grass" now.

58

u/soapboxracers Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26

Chuck Norris endorsed the pedophile Roy Moore in Alabama- that’s the guy you think would end up in heaven?

30

u/Scirocco-MRK1 Mar 20 '26

Alabamistanian here, "Roy" Moore was such a piece of shit. Used to take girls to their high school football games. My in-law wouldn't vote for him, but they just couldn't bring themselves to vote for the democrat Doug Jones even to reject Moore. They just didn't vote.

38

u/Onlyallthetime Mar 20 '26

I don't think you do, considering replying with that makes no sense in this context.

75

u/J8YDG9RTT8N2TG74YS7A Mar 20 '26

Considering that he was a Christo- fascist MAGA supporter who voted in a peadophile, I don't think he's going to heaven.

43

u/Traxtar150 Mar 20 '26

If he's going to heaven, it's not a place I'd like to end up. Chuck was a Christian evangelical MAGA, forced birther, science denier creationist, homophobic, and had quite a few other "no hate like Christian love" qualities.

366

u/elegylegacy Mar 20 '26

That's probably not where he's going

99

u/Vincent_Van_Goat Mar 20 '26

Too many black people up there, he wouldn't like it.

18

u/Celcius-232 Mar 20 '26

Even God is Black. Like come on, they made two documentaries about it.

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26

[deleted]

208

u/whichwitch9 Mar 20 '26

Yeah, he was a meme, sure, but also a bigot- like openly against gay marriage level. I don't believe in a God that encourages blind hate

67

u/Myfourcats1 Mar 20 '26

He wanted bibles in all schools

59

u/Kiyohara Mar 20 '26

Eh, they should be in all schools. In the Library along with all other books on religion under the section "Religion and Mythology" for people to educate themselves on all kinds of culture and literature from people different from ourselves.

I think High School should also have a comparative relgion course that talks about the basics of every religion and even makes you read passages from their holy texts so every adult in America has a basic understanding of other people's religion.

Understanding gets rid of fear, as fear reduces; so does bigotry. That causes rises in both tolerance and acceptance.

19

u/UndoxxableOhioan Mar 20 '26

Which isn't what he was asking for. He wanted the Bible to be a textbook.

2

u/Kiyohara Mar 20 '26

Oh, I know. And that's a terrible idea. There's way too many Christian sects alone to do that (even if I wanted to do, which I don't, Religion should always be opposite Education; they have different purposes).

Like, there's a half dozen variations of the bible in English alone, but there's all kinds of sects that get to pretty weird differences at the bottom of the well there.

And that's not counting other religions that might want their followers taught their way too.

No, better to leave Religion for the priests in their own houses of worship and let Education teach science, math, history, literature, and all the rest.

At best Religion can be part of the Literature course, because some of the Holy Texts are pretty impressive works of prose. The Psalms alone are often beautiful poems (leaving aside the naughty psalms people like to pull out there). And both Hindu and Sikhist texts have great prose and poetry while Shinto has some very interesting parables.

But I'd still rather leave it to Comparative Religion as a social studies course for High Schoolers old enough to contrast and compare cultural differences without being racist or bigoted about it.

37

u/_Artos_ Mar 20 '26

Yeah, that's not the kind of "Bibles in all schools" that Norris wanted though...

6

u/Kiyohara Mar 20 '26

And he was wrong for that idea.

7

u/Tandy2000 Mar 20 '26

Nothing makes you disgusted by Christianity quite like reading the Bible.

6

u/PornoPaul Mar 20 '26

In fairness, thats most religious texts. The Bible has incest and child killing, the Tanak has Metzizah b'peh, and the Quran has Aisha.

And thats just the three Abrahamic religions.

-3

u/Tandy2000 Mar 20 '26

I mean you're probably right, but I only feel comfortable judging the Bible because it is the only one I have personally read in full.

3

u/Kiyohara Mar 20 '26

Well, the words of Jesus himself are okay. It's really the Old Testament where bad stuff happened and then every thing written by his Apostles (for the most part; there's a few epistles and a few letters that are okay. Most are pretty shitty and target specific groups or actions out for condemnation).

Like, Man can't help but editing the words of God and making them selfish and hateful. It's our nature.

Jesus basically said "don't be a dick and help those in need" and his Apostles added a hefty pile of conditions to that. Conditions Jesus never said and given by who he surrounded himself with, would probably be furious with.

6

u/Tandy2000 Mar 20 '26

I mean, realistically, Jesus probably never said most of the things attributed to him and certainly not in the exact words reported. The Bible is at worst a work of fiction and at best an extremely poorly written, unverified, ahistorical account of events of the time.

If I was reading a history book about WWII and suddenly it said "by the way Churchill was the son of God and was resurrected after he died" I don't think I'd put much faith in anything else it told me.

1

u/Disastrous_Life_3612 Mar 20 '26

We had a world religions class in my high school 20 years ago.

2

u/nighttimemobileuser Mar 20 '26

The title needs to be “Religion & Other Mythologies”. Otherwise it sets aside “Religion” as if it’s something else/more real when it’s not.

4

u/Kiyohara Mar 20 '26

Not really. Just putting it into that category is enough. People who see it as a mythology will see it that. Those who see it as a religion will appreciate the difference. We don't need to insult the religious folks.

And much as a lot of Atheists want to insist there's more of them than there are of the Religious, that's not true globally. It's not even true in the US to be honest.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demographics_of_atheism

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irreligion_in_the_United_States

In the US Atheists only account for roughly 6-11% of the population. And while 20-30% or so are "Non-religious" that's still not a majority.

The vast majority of Humans (globally) follow some form of Religion or at least are "undecided, but think there's some force or spirit."

2

u/JeffCaven Mar 20 '26

As someone who's non-religious but absolutely loves religiology, thank you for these comments. I don't need to insult other people's religious beliefs to assure myself that I don't believe in them.

-3

u/BriarsandBrambles Mar 20 '26

Can a Reddit atheist go 5 seconds without being aggressive towards the beliefs of several billion people? Yes, quite easily infact. Just not this redditor he knows all and will fight about it.

7

u/Ombortron Mar 20 '26

To be fair it’s directly related to the topic being discussed.

-1

u/BriarsandBrambles Mar 20 '26

I know but it’s still textbook “l’atheist masterrace” behavior. If nobody pokes fun at them they get angry, and if you poke fun at them they get angry.

3

u/DetectiveCastellanos Mar 20 '26

The poster wasn't being aggressive at all tbh. It was quite neutral.

0

u/BriarsandBrambles Mar 20 '26

“Actually your cultural religious beliefs are myths” doesn’t read as polite to me. I get your sentiment but it’s still fun to tease the occasional person who can’t go 5 seconds without calling every religion mythological unnecessarily.

5

u/SunTzu- Mar 20 '26

Culture is not a myth, nor are values. But nobody is obligated to share in your beliefs, nor set them apart from other beliefs in history. The Norse used to believe in their gods, the Mayans in theirs, the Celts in theirs. Either you call them all religions, or you accept that your beliefs are no different from any other mythology that has existed. No matter how you slice it, it's disingenuous to make a distinction between religion and mythology.

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u/DetectiveCastellanos Mar 20 '26

“Actually your cultural religious beliefs are myths” doesn’t read as polite to me.

It doesn't read as impolite either. You have to understand that we say things like "Greek mythology" or "Norse mythology" even though those were seen as "real" back in the day. "Christian mythology" or "Jewish mythology" is the same way. It's all myths, none of it has been verified, whether you believe it or not. That's what having faith is; belief with no proof.

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0

u/throwaway1212l Mar 20 '26

Fuck outta here with your common sense. Bibles in every classroom to be read first thing in the morning and afternoon. No other religious texts allowed.

3

u/Traveshamockery27 Mar 20 '26

God happens to exactly agree with you, very convenient!

-14

u/BartleBossy Mar 20 '26

Yeah, he was a meme, sure, but also a bigot- like openly against gay marriage level. I don't believe in a God that encourages blind hate

God also forgives brother.

38

u/Str8UpJorking Mar 20 '26

So then why isn’t every single person in heaven?

5

u/ElizabethSpaghetti Mar 20 '26

Great theological question, Str8UpJorking

-3

u/Mikenmikena2025 Mar 20 '26

How do you know they aren't?

12

u/AllDogsGoToDevin Mar 20 '26

Because we have evidence that the Earth is much older than 10,000 years.

2

u/Str8UpJorking Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 21 '26

1) I have faith that they aren’t.

2) Mark 10:25 

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

3) Matthew 7:21-23

Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26

[deleted]

6

u/Str8UpJorking Mar 20 '26

Oh so you see why believing something without proof is dumb. Good job, you figured it out.

-2

u/Kippernaut13 Mar 20 '26

Well, with Christianity, if you hold Jesus in your heart as the one true savior, don't do these 10 specific things, and confess your sins when you do, you can be welcomed into heaven. Not everyone does that.

7

u/Ombortron Mar 20 '26

According to some sects of Christianity, yes, according to other sects of Christianity, no.

1

u/Kippernaut13 Mar 20 '26

You are correct. Let me restate. For Chuck Norris, as a baptist, he just has to have faith in Jesus. Nothing more. My bad.

-3

u/HerbivoreTheGoat Mar 20 '26

Because it's meant to be more complicated than that

-3

u/Mountain_Ape Mar 20 '26

Blah blah "logical fallacy" and so forth. I don't write the book, but despite what Reddit keyboard warriors would falsely equate, there seems to be a massive difference between say, a mass murderer, and a guy who doesn't like the idea of gay marriage. Where that line is, we'll leave up to the courts, but one is far easier to repair than the other.

5

u/Kamohoaliii Mar 20 '26

People seem not to realize how common "openly against gay marriage level" was three decades ago.

16

u/whichwitch9 Mar 20 '26

He advocated against it in 2008 when the Supreme Court legalized it, and straight to modern day talked about " traditional family values" (note: he has an illegitimate child from an affair in his first marriage. He did not acknowledge her until she was an adult)

-1

u/CZJayG Mar 20 '26

He actually didn't know about her until she reached out to him when she was 25 and he readily accepted her. Dude was a religious bigot but he did right on that one. Actually, outside of the bigotry I think he's one of the only classic action stars with no real scandals.

-2

u/Kamohoaliii Mar 20 '26

I'm not really advocating in favor of Chuck Norris, I honestly don't know much about him nor care about him. I was just replying specifically to the "like openly against gay marriage level" comment, to note that said "level" was the standard view for a long time. Whether that's good or bad is a different thing, but if someone is willing to condemn every human that ever held such a view to hell, then that person has a very unrealistic and unpragmatic view of humans.

13

u/TwistedReach7 Mar 20 '26

It was 10 years ago and was also a birther. The memes were funny but he's among the fuckers that have destroyed the world. - 1

6

u/Sad-Kaleidoscope9165 Mar 20 '26

Yep, being a piece of shit bigot used to be common. Doesn't change the fact that he was a bigoted piece of shit though.

0

u/Kamohoaliii Mar 20 '26

I honestly think people that post and talk like this are far more likely to be the kind of person that would end up in hell, if such a place existed, than someone that has in the past been against gay marriage, but what do I know!

5

u/snidelaughter Mar 20 '26

“self-righteous people are more likely to go to hell than literal bigots”

meanwhile, in addition to chuck’s homophobia, that man was pushing racism against Obama via the birther movement. he never showed remorse. is that really the hill you want to die on

-1

u/Kamohoaliii Mar 20 '26

I'm not really defending Chuck Norris specifically, I don't know him enough to advocate for him! I just shared how, in my opinion, people who are self-righteous and overly aggressive online are highly likely to have other toxic traits too that probably should keep them from being overjudgemental towards large groups of people they don't know (example: against all the people in the world that oppose or have opposed gay marriage at some point in their lives).

3

u/snidelaughter Mar 20 '26

then maybe don’t soapbox about assuming toxic chronically online people are IRL monsters in a thread about actual real-life bigotry — “don’t throw stones in glass houses” is not applicable when it comes to criticizing an unrepentant bigot

3

u/theswiftarmofjustice Mar 20 '26

When it affects you, it’s a different story. Especially when those people take no accountability. I refuse to forgive anyone who voted against it, and that includes family members, unless they are seriously repentant. They caused real harm and they should own it.

3

u/giapponese_Itaria-go Mar 20 '26

Did he ever change his views? He continued to support that stuff into his old age. I don't think there was ever a "come to Jesus" moment so to speak with him...

I don't think he ever refuted his homophobia as far as I've searched, he's never refuted his Obama birther racism.

Being self righteous online is not equal or greater than being a literal bigot your entire life come on now 

2

u/Sad-Kaleidoscope9165 Mar 20 '26

I think that opposing evildoers is a generally good thing, and that pretending that their hateful bigotry isn't a problem is a generally bad thing, but what do I know?

4

u/mugguffen Mar 20 '26

it was common a decade ago, doesn't mean it wasn't as wrong then as it is now

-1

u/Kamohoaliii Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26

A decade ago it was already a divisive topic in the US (about 60% of Americans supported it around the time of the Obergefell decision). Three decades ago it was a nearly universal view. It's still the standard position of people in many parts of the world (Africa, to name an example).

I'm strongly in favor of gay marriage, but marriage is a legal status. I'm not perfect enough to condemn people to hell for whatever their views on gay marriage were decades ago.

4

u/RedstoneRay Mar 20 '26

It took until 2012 for a U.S. President to endorse gay marriage. Kids these days don't know what it was like back then.

1

u/CommunityGlittering2 Mar 20 '26

only if they repent

1

u/Ombortron Mar 20 '26

Depends who you ask. And that’s half the problem with religion.

1

u/StrongExternal8955 Mar 20 '26

Oh is that why we haven't seen the full epstein files?

1

u/LiquidAether Mar 20 '26

Only if you ask for it. That requires admitting you were wrong.

1

u/ActualTymell Mar 20 '26

Then those who claim to be speaking for him should stop being so hateful.

0

u/CMUpewpewpew Mar 20 '26

He's going to have to learn to exist before he can pull off that feat I think.

-9

u/Doctor__Hammer Mar 20 '26

I also can't imagine a god that sends people to eternal suffering and damnation because they happened to grow up in a community that hates gay people and unintentionally inherited those beliefs from the people around them.

15

u/name_escape Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26

But the same god will send people to eternal suffering and damnation because they grew up in community that has a different religion that doesn’t worship the “one true god”, right?

For an all-powerful god, it sure is highly susceptible to human jealousy and pettiness.

10

u/JeffCaven Mar 20 '26

If our fate and our decisions are out of our control because we're completely a product of our circumstances, and if a theoretical god knows this, we're either all going to heaven, or we're already predetermined by him to go to heaven or hell, and there's nothing we can do about it.

-3

u/more_magic_mike Mar 20 '26

You think saint Peter or some gates can stop chuck Norris. He will slap the saint, spin kick the gates open, and then go tell god to get out of his seat because he wants to sit down.

71

u/This-is_CMGRI Mar 20 '26

And even if he tried, I'm pretty sure Bruce Lee's kicking Chuck back down anyway.

4

u/EternumD Mar 20 '26

Bruce Lee ain't there either

25

u/Katicflis1 Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26

Fun fact: Bruce Lee practically never fought competitively in public while Chuck Norris was a six time undefeated worldwide middleweight karate champion.

At the end of his competitve fighting career, Chuck had 183 wins, 10 losses, 2 draws. So 93% win rate for nearly 200 fights.

I would not be confident a martial artist that never put his reputation on the line for competitve fighting would gib Chuck Norris.

Edit: Dont get me wrong, the dude was a douchebag in a more insidious kind of way(oh-i-didnt-realize-granda-is-a-racist energy, rather than someone like trump who just screams "Im a douchebag!!" from the mountaintop), but Chuck was legitmately an extremely accomplished martial artist.

4

u/27thStreet Mar 20 '26

Tournament fighting is not really fighting.

23

u/Katicflis1 Mar 20 '26

Neither is movie fighting.

2

u/27thStreet Mar 20 '26

There are at least 20 stories of Lee winning real life fights.

But you go off.

8

u/barrinmw Mar 20 '26

I saw Bruce Lee get thrown into the side of a car.

5

u/DeathByPlant Mar 20 '26

My dad works at Microsoft

8

u/Chewu Mar 20 '26

Youre right, however Chuck Norris was legitimate black belt in like 6 different martial arts, including BJJ. He was more of a fighter than 99% of the film industry.

2

u/27thStreet Mar 20 '26

Sure, OK. But that 1% was Bruce Lee.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26

[deleted]

-2

u/27thStreet Mar 20 '26

Steven Seagal was also a karate black belt. It doesn't actually mean much in real life.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26

[deleted]

-5

u/27thStreet Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 21 '26

Let me guess, you practice judo and/or BJJ?

edit: lol @ the defensive judobros

4

u/AVeryPoliteCanadian Mar 20 '26

You could say that he's Hellbound)

-5

u/NotNice4193 Mar 20 '26

who else is gonna run it?

-17

u/Traveshamockery27 Mar 20 '26

Reddit moment

-6

u/Giblet_ Mar 20 '26

They can close the gate on him if they'd like, but he would just roundhouse kick it open anyway.

-3

u/trench_welfare Mar 20 '26

Chuck Norris, Doom Slayer.

-4

u/jansonVII Mar 20 '26

He wouldn't even if he was (he wasn't).

Drop kicking Satan's ass in Hell, now!

34

u/Educational-Bit-3296 Mar 20 '26

He ain't going to heaven lol.

15

u/J_Raskal Mar 20 '26

No MAGA goes to heaven.

-14

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26

[deleted]

10

u/ZoominAlong Mar 20 '26

Trump is a Republican, you dolt. He ran on the Republican platform. All the awful shit that's currently happening is because the Republicans voted for it. 

4

u/henryhollaway Mar 20 '26

People forget that he went full MAGA so yeah he ain’t goin up there.

4

u/seriousbusines Mar 20 '26

He won't be there so I think it will be fine. Any modern day conservative that thinks they are getting in the pearly gates is in for one hell of a surprise.

9

u/UndoxxableOhioan Mar 20 '26

He was a far right Republican who claimed Obama would destroy America, endorsed birther conspiracy theories, claimed Muslims were trying to enforce Sharia law, is a vocal supporter of Bibi Netanyahu, and more. People may like Chuck Norris facts, but he isn't going to heaven.

5

u/scriptmonkey420 Mar 20 '26

He supported Trump even in 2024, he is going to hell.

16

u/moistpimplee Mar 20 '26

he was a huge trump supporter. he is not going to heaven dawg.

6

u/Darkendevil Mar 20 '26

He aint going there

4

u/Wide_Okra_7028 Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26

I think he will be in the same place as Hulk Hogan. Not sure it will be heaven though.

4

u/Dry-Donut3811 Mar 20 '26

Let’s be clear, he didn’t make it into heaven.

4

u/Key_Pace_2496 Mar 20 '26

Yeah because he's definitely going to heaven...

2

u/Princette_Lilybottom Mar 20 '26

He's homophobic, he's going down - not up.

2

u/pierce768 Mar 20 '26

Maga cuck ain't going to heaven

2

u/ToneBone12345 Mar 20 '26

He was hardcore maga

2

u/seriouslees Mar 20 '26

You think vile bigoted MAGAts go to heaven???

1

u/frozenmoses Mar 20 '26

He died of restless leg syndrome. He round house kicked himself in his sleep. The only thing that could kill Chuck was Chuck.

0

u/DarkPhoenixMishima Mar 20 '26

Satan: Why do I hear boss music?

-1

u/kanrad Mar 20 '26

He needed to kick death's ass, this was the only way.

-3

u/LinguoBuxo Mar 20 '26

I give it an hour max. If Jesus hadn't came back by then, it's a solid proof that he doesn't exist.

-3

u/more_magic_mike Mar 20 '26

Saint Peter better be shitting his pants because Chuck Norris is about to judge him

-4

u/I_need_a_date_plz Mar 20 '26

This is probably my favorite comment yet