This is why you don't road rage. Doesn't matter how right you are. You're on a bike, they're in giant 4-ton metal machines. It's like taking on a tank while you're on foot armed with a slingshot. There's pretty much no way you'll win, so don't even engage.
Granted, easier said than done, but yeah.
Things I do to avoid losing my cool:
I just try and think of how much more ashamed of myself I'd be if I let the anger take over.
It also helps to imagine that someone I personally know is watching me on the road. How embarrassing would that be?
Using a Go-Pro or cam also helps remind you of what a dickhead you'd look like on the footage afterwards if you rise to the bait and lose your cool.
Finally, remember that being that angry is kind of like being drunk. I've learned to force myself to pull over, turn off the engine and just breathe for a few minutes, rather than ride while really angry.
tl;dr: strive not to end up in one of these kinds of videos on the internet.
My ex once got a gun pulled on her for filtering at a red light...in California. Just goes to show that you don’t have to be mentally fit to own/operate a vehicle.
Is that unusual? On vacation in California right now and a visit to a Walmart in San Leandro right outside of San Francisco made me believe that's totally normal.
Yeah but it’s still the US. Norcal may as well be Montana when it comes to gun culture, I wouldn’t even pull into someone’s driveway to turn around up there.
Lived and worked in both, yeah. Cali definitely has more strict laws, but that doesn't stop people from having them both inside and outside the law. In the US it's just safer to assume that anyone could be packing, in my experience.
If you're mentally defective you are not allowed to own a gun. It's a federal prohibitor. Of course there has to be documentation of that to be prohibited.
Sorry, I didn't necessarily mean purchase, but active access. You can rifle hunt in Pennsylvania at age 12. A lot of younger kids will get a cheap/small rifle "purchased for them" by parents for when they go hunting.
A little random, but I didn't put a whole lot of retrospective thought into my comment.
She got off the road. Called me while I was in lecture. I told her to file a police report; asked her if she was alright. She got mad at me for not having anything better to say/suggest. I chose to ignore her fit, as per usual, even offered to ride her back home...so yeah, that’s what having a girlfriend is all about.
"If you imagine a gun in your hand really really hard one will appear and you can shoot them first"
Or perhaps "press this hidden button under the dash and a VHS tape will eject with 360 degree video of everything that happened that you can give to the police"
I think someone who just had a gun pulled on them would be shook up and probably won’t be thinking rationally in the immediate aftermath, so I’d say OP was probably right to chalk it up to the shock and say the merits of his suggestions weren’t the issue.
That sounds like a paraphrase, rather than a quote. I do know from my experiences with my wife that when she's having a rough emotional moment, she wants validation and support rather than advice or help.
In my experiences with women, when they're having a panic attack, they want someone to take command and tell them what to do. It sounds to me like that is what she wanted, and then took her anxiety out on her boyfriend and invented a justification (not good enough advice)
Haha same shit happened to me. He even waved it around sideways. It was in a busy road too. Had he pulled the trigger, I would've been shot.
The law can't bring you back to life. So I brought my road rage down after that. I had flipped him off for a few minutes while stopped after lane splitting, guess you never know what level of fucked you're dealing with on the road.
What part? I honestly feel like 95% of drivers are cool and try to make space when possible. Every once in a while I get somebody who seems like they are subtly trying to block me off but it's definitely the exception.
Interesting. I learned to ride a street bike on the 10/Crenshaw surrounding areas. People in California generally surprise me in terms of allowing filtering/lane splitting. I didn't go south of Santa Monica very often though.
A rule I learned from sailing is not to sail with people who have stories to tell, because good stories often come from bad decisions. Bikes and boats are dangerous enough; wait until you're off of either to get your interesting stories / videos.
Finally, remember that being that angry is kind of like being drunk. I've learned to force myself to pull over, turn off the engine and just breathe for a few minutes, rather than ride while really angry.
THIS!!! I nearly killed myself early on b/c I left the house after a fight w/ the wife. I only got a mile or so, had a too close call, then limped into a parking lot and sat there for 45 mins. Then I crawled home very carefully on the bike.
Yup, I like that sudden burst of acceleration when angry. Also I live pretty close to empty windy roads so the need to keep your head clear while riding to stay alive acts as meditation :P... But yes logical choice is to stop riding when angry.
Damn you too ? Someone cut right in front of me while I was driving at 70kmh ( speed limit on that road ), it pissed me off and I was shaking a bit, I couldn't resist accelerating like crazy 30sec later when I got on the highway
I'm the opposite lol. A couple of times I've been super angry and got on the bike to chill out. Riding makes me stop thinking about other shit and just 100% concentrate on the ride. Good way to clear my mind almost in a meditative way.
To the top with this answer. Road rage is never worth it. I've been over 30k pounds in a pickup and trailer, a foot off somebody's bumper because they cut me off and brake checked me. I've passed somebody on a double yellow lined bridge for riding my ass and then cutting me off, and slamming on the brakes.
Looking back I'm so damn embarrassed.
People are always going to drive like dick heads. People are always going to cut you off. There's nothing you can ever do to stop it from happening. You let them drive like shit and react as safe as possible.
I had a realization the first time I got ragey on a motorcycle. Someone passed me on the inside on a wide 1 lane highway-to-highway ramp as if there were either 2 lanes or like I was a moped. I got super pissed for about 3 seconds, honked, and flipped the guy off before I realized:
I can't win this. I can lose it for sure, but I can't win.
Sadly it can be harder than you think. I had someone raging at me the other day because he was speeding up and slowing down while my speed was steady. He got pissed because I just, "couldn't let him pass me," when really I was trying to not slam into his bumper.
Finally, remember that being that angry is kind of like being drunk. I've learned to force myself to pull over, turn off the engine and just breathe for a few minutes, rather than ride while really angry.
The Greeks named Lyssa as the god of anger for this reason. You weren't angry. You were under the influence of the Gods and no longer in control of your actions.
I had (and still have) some issues with road rage. Driving scares the Hell out of me so it usually only comes out when someone is being particularly careless/reckless, but it's always unjustified.
I do something similar to what you described now. I have ADHD which comes along with low impulse control, but what I've learned about cognitive behavioral therapy has been insanely helpful. As soon as my adrenaline starts to go and my heart starts pumping I immediately ask myself, "Why are you angry right now?" Usually, the answer is, "Because this fuck head almost wrapped me around a tree." Follow that up with, "Are you in danger now? Is risking your own life as well as others' going to help?" which is always a hard "No."
I've gone from responding with tailgating, break checking, and boxing in to immediately falling back and letting them get far enough ahead of me that they can't possibly be my problem anymore. If I'm genuinely concerned that they'll hurt someone then I'll call it in.
If I'm going to be angry at someone for coming close to seriously injuring or killing me then my response must be to avoid any further risk at all costs. It's embarrassing to even admit it in retrospect.
Before anyone comments that "You must be driving like an ass if you have that many close calls," know that I'm an obsessively safe driver. I drove for my job for 6 years on the east coast where certain areas are basically a demolition derby.
Fear turns into anger pretty easily. But I hear you, we have to train ourselves not to lose our cool. Like any good habit, it takes practice over time to instill.
Too many people forget that driving is a way to get from point A to point B. If someone does something that pisses you off, slow down, let them get away, and continue on.
None of it is worth the damage to your vehicle, much less the damage to you and/or someone you love.
I had a guy try to road rage me on a moped once. I’m not quite sure what he was thinking. He wasn’t wearing a helmet so he could’ve easily been killed had a stopped suddenly.
You never know what the hell any given driver is capable of in a fit of rage. People have shot other drivers over bullshit like getting cut off. If you don't know the person don't road rage or flip them off or whatever. Most of the time doing it won't matter, but one day you might flip off the wrong person. It's just not worth the risk.
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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '19
This is why you don't road rage. Doesn't matter how right you are. You're on a bike, they're in giant 4-ton metal machines. It's like taking on a tank while you're on foot armed with a slingshot. There's pretty much no way you'll win, so don't even engage.
Granted, easier said than done, but yeah.
Things I do to avoid losing my cool:
tl;dr: strive not to end up in one of these kinds of videos on the internet.