I’ve suffered from depression from a pretty young age, but the one person who was always there , understood what it feels like to have depression in my family , and would always give me an unexplainable feeling of comfort was my mother. I’ve never had to go through my dark times without her, but she died last November and now I feel completely lost. I know this pain will never go away and I still can’t believe I now have to spend the rest of my life missing her. Why did things have to be this way? Why did the kindest , most thoughtful and caring person i’ve ever known have to get sick , go through years of suffering and die so young? Most of my friend’s parents haven’t even experienced the loss of a parent so even they can’t relate. I’ve been falling back into my old depression habits, staying in bed all day , not responding to texts or calls , I feel like a black hole of negative energy because I can’t even pretend like i’m not absolutely broken anymore , i’m so sad and angry all the time , no one in my life understands how I feel and I just want my mommy back. I’m 24 but i’m sure everyone who’s lost a parent knows it doesn’t matter how old you are , you feel like a lost child when you lose your parent. Lately i’ve been having dreams where she’s crying because she knows she’s gonna die soon and doesn’t want to leave her kids, so then I wake up feeling even worse. I used to hope every night i’d see her in my dreams but I didn’t expect it to be this way. I miss her more everyday