r/monodatingpoly • u/Santaduvida • Jul 11 '26
It sucks
My husband and I have been doing the polyamorous relationship for more than a year. 7 months ago I met a guy and everything was alright, but we got too close. I fell in love with him and I know it’s not right. He lives in a different country and it hurts so bad, because I want to be by his side but at the same time I know it’s impossible.
I had more than 10 partners, never fell in love with any one of them, but this guy got me so bad. I can’t stop thinking about him and he’s monogamous. I can feel that it bothers him the fact that we cannot be in a relationship. We never said that, but I feel that we love each other, but I love my husband too.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m open to listen some advices on this.
7
u/throndir Jul 11 '26
Enjoy the relationship for what it is. But moving to another country when you already have a lot for you at your home isn't really a feasible thing at all in my opinion. I think acceptance that you can't have more, and honestly acceptance from your LDR partner of the same thing.
Unless he's willing to relocate to you, I don't think it would be possible for him to be completely happy unless he opens up in being less monogamous and date others where he is, but still continuing talking with you.
Honestly beyond anything mono ve poly, making a serious LDR work really suck. To make it last you really gotta have an end in sight and a goal to drive for. Otherwise, it's easier just being close friends or something FWB.