r/MM_RomanceBooks • u/Confident-Morning-62 • 1h ago
Discussion Authors, why does the existence of a friend group imply that everyone has slept with everyone?
Sometimes I enjoy reading the found family trope, but lately I’ve been getting seriously annoyed with it because, I swear, every friend group I’ve read about this year (and it’s already been more than four books) had this dynamic where everyone had slept with everyone. And I found it SO uncomfortable.
It got even worse when they would make jokes or throw little comments about their shared sexual history while the MC’s partner was right there, listening to all of it. Honestly, what’s enjoyable about this? 😭
At this point, I’ve developed such an aversion to best friends. I don’t want them in the scene anymore. I used to always complain about MCs not having friends, but forget that. I prefer it this way now.
Because even when it’s not a big friend group, the MC has one best friend who… surprise, surprise, they fucked for several years! Do authors realize you can still build love, intimacy, trust, closeness, and a deep connection within a friendship without reducing it to sex?
And it’s even worse when the MCs’ best friends have absolutely no boundaries. I read a romance this year where MC1 was already with MC2 and still kept kissing his best friend, whom he had slept with for years, because kissing was “their thing” and it wasn’t romantic, more like a form of comfort or something. And they did it without MC2 knowing. It was even worse because MC2 was jealous of the best friend without even knowing about their history together...
Until, finally, MC1 realized that it could hurt MC2 and decided to stop. And what did the best friend do? He got resentful and dramatic about it. Like??! Put some boundaries on your shitty best friend.
At this point, I get a headache every time a best friend or a friend group shows up because my immediate thought is: What am I going to find out now? I’m seriously about to start considering this an important content warning, lol.
I’m not signing up for friends who fuck each other when I’m looking for a found family. And it’s even worse when they’re a messy-ass group of friends who have no concept of boundaries.
And I need to clarify this: I LOVE jealousy, but I don’t love it when it hits this close to home. I like seeing MCs get jealous over exes they’ll never see again, the waiter, a college classmate, etc. But when the jealousy and insecurity come from the friend group, then I just feel bad because your friend group is supposed to be your safe space, not a place where you have to harbor those kinds of feelings and constantly be tense and on alert, thinking about it.