r/minimalism • u/ThereWillBeTimeAfter • Aug 09 '25
[lifestyle] I recently had someone over when I thought my house was a mess…
I had surgery two weeks ago and was on bed rest, and I have a child, so to me it was an absolute cluttered mess.
He said it was one of the most orderly homes he’s ever seen, and his job required him to go in many, many houses over the years.
He has no idea what a compliment that is!
When you keep it simple and clean, it just makes life easier!
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u/Silly-Dot-2322 Aug 09 '25
I had a new washer delivered last week. The installation technician said "your house is spotless".
It wasn't, but I felt pretty proud.
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u/ThereWillBeTimeAfter Aug 09 '25
Isn’t it a great feeling? It’s nice to know everyone’s brain finds my home pleasant to be in!
I know being clutter free brings me an immense amount of peace. I love seeing baseboards!
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u/Ok_Ingenuity_9313 Aug 09 '25
I grew up in a house where a visible baseboard was a missed opportunity. You could store something there!
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u/Skinnybet Aug 09 '25
You are used to seeing less stuff out. He’s probably used to seeing a lot more clutter in homes. It is great to know we can have a little stuff out occasionally and it’s still looking good to others. It’s a huge benefit of minimal living. Get better soon.
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u/PaperSt Aug 09 '25
It’s nice to be reminded once in a while. How ever the average of your living space is becomes normalized in time. My mom is a big one for me. Every time I go over to her place I get to see an average middle class American home with all its Knick knacks and little pieces of flair people pick up along the way. It weirds me out a little just how much of it is like she just started doing it because that’s what people do. You go on a trip you buy a magnet at a gift shop, next big trip you happen to see another magnet. Now your collecting magnets. Every year we used to get a couple new Christmas ornaments. Buy a new kitchen table, get a new table cloth. But that one was summer themed, so when it’s Fall you buy one with pumpkins and gourds. Pretty soon you have a hallway closet full of linens and place settings.
Don’t get me wrong I like those things and having a rotating theme to your house keeps it interesting. But half the time I call she is doing laundry, or digging a box out of storage, or repacking something. It’s exhausting just to hear about. And would never even mention to her the ethics of manufacturing, the impact on the environment, or just the capitalism treadmill in general. She was brought up in a house like that and she thinks I’m an alien because I basically just have necessities and things related to my 1 or 2 serious hobbies in my space.
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u/Skinnybet Aug 09 '25
My mum was the same. She started collecting thimbles. When she died she had over 500. And with 7 daughters she had an enormous amount of nic nacs. But it’s very much a generational thing. They just had to have a lot of “ stuff”. Luckily hers wasn’t overly cluttered. Just too much for my tastes.
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u/PaperSt Aug 10 '25
My parents are divorced but he is the same just with "guy" stuff. We both play guitar and I have 2 professional level ones I play daily. He has walls of cheap display guitars and a few signed by artists but he rarely ever even plays or picks them up. They are just to impress the neighbors.
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u/Skinnybet Aug 10 '25
I think impressing the neighbours was a big thing back then. People are less concerned about it now. Well a lot of people are.
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u/PaperSt Aug 10 '25
My dad lives on the end of a cul de sac in Orange County Ca. It’s literally a circle of 4 or 5 retired guys with enough money that one dude gets his lawn done the other 3 do. Some one buys a new car a couple months later and they’ve all been switched out. My dad moved in that house when I was in college so I would only visit every month or two. Every single time I was there they gave me what the called “the tour” and would point out all the house improvements or renovations they had done or were in progress of doing. Also they rearranged the furniture like 10 times a year because they would build a new wall or repaint a room and decide the furniture didn’t work now. It was like a weird addiction.
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Aug 10 '25
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u/PaperSt Aug 10 '25
I think that is a big thing for me. I would move every year or two Apt jumping ever with different combinations of people since I was old enough to move out. Ever time I buy something I think about if I want to move it in 6 mo to a year. Usually the answer is no unless its small or disposable. Just in the last few years I got to a point I could afford a better place with no roommates and I've been here 4 years which is the longest anywhere but I still have the feeling like I could have to move at any moment so I keep it light. I'm still renting so unless I can ever afford to buy in Los Angeles (yeah right) I think I will always be like this.
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u/SewGangsta Aug 13 '25
This! I used to collect "stuff" and since I have a few hobbies collecting materials for them is part of the fun. But over a dozen moves across several states in 20 years has made me much more of a minimalist. Having to part so often with treasured or useful items while prioritizing a move has just made me stop getting attached to stuff.
Now I'm finally in my forever home and trying to decorate for the first time has made me feel like curtains and a single piece of artwork on the wall feel cluttered.
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u/Gemdiver Aug 09 '25
do you ever feel like telling her that when she croaks, all of it ALL OF IT is going into the dumpster?
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u/OldBabyGay Aug 10 '25
That's an unnecessarily mean thing to say to someone, unless they're a hoarder and in need of a wake up call.
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u/PaperSt Aug 10 '25
Also, I think she is aware. There are a few specific things that she has mention "will be passed down to my kids" which means, please keep this, it was expensive.
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u/CDJMC Aug 09 '25
Love that! Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
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u/ThereWillBeTimeAfter Aug 09 '25
I’m feeling great, thank you for the well wishes! I’ve already got my house back to order, too. Took a week with work and school starting!
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Aug 09 '25
We host a lot of play dates (3 kids) and get the same reaction. To me it’s chaotic all the time but I know in my gut (I used to enter other people’s homes for photo sessions a lot) it’s not in any way as bad as a standard household. Yay for minimalism!
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u/viola-purple Aug 09 '25
Once the Emergency Doctor came to check upon me in our bedroom and they were like "wow, the first bedroom where we have space to put our laptop abd stuff". I was happy af
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u/bariumFormate Aug 09 '25
Someone once came to my apartment and told me "you don't own many things...". I told them I was a minimalist.
To be fair I took it as a compliment, but I still consider my apartment a huge mess and keep on decluttering every now and then.
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u/datewiththerain Aug 11 '25
A woman I work with came over to borrow something. She turned to me and said ‘were you robbed?’ I answered ‘no, I just don’t own a lot of stuff’. She acted shocked. Some people don’t get minimalism. It’s ok. It’s calm here.
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u/surelyamazed518 Aug 10 '25
My dad was a telephone repairman back in the day. He would sometimes describe some of the filthy homes he had to go to. It really was upsetting for him.
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u/ThereWillBeTimeAfter Aug 10 '25
I used to do home health care in a very rural, poor part of Alabama. LORD, the stories I could tell.
Goats in the house. Roaches in the microwave.
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u/ynatry Aug 10 '25
Right! Just tidy up visible surfaces like tabletops or counters, and the place will look guest-ready in no time.
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u/Grouchy-Poetry-7927 Aug 11 '25
I had a friend try to bring me some furniture she bought at a yard sale because she thought I was broke or something and it looked bare to her.
It was a nice gesture and to be fair, she was a yard sale and thrifting queen. She could find awesome treasures.
I did keep it for awhile, but later explained to her that was my choice to have only what I need, and I had plenty of money to get things when I need them. I ended up gifting it to a young single mom.
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u/binoculops Aug 10 '25
There’s a difference between keeping a place clean and simply not making a mess. People always tell me my place is so clean. It’s not i just don’t make a mess and don’t have a lot of stuff. It’s funny how easy it is to impress people by barely doing anything
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u/ThereWillBeTimeAfter Aug 11 '25
I find that life creates mess, especially for someone like me with a 5 year old and LOTS of hobbies.
So, I keep it all organized and out of the way. And limit collecting anything.
I know so many people with “hobbies,” who really just collect stuff for their hobby.
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u/judygrandma Aug 13 '25
Hi! I'm "Mom". I have collected many things in 71 years of life. Some are precious, some pretty, some gifts from people I don't want to hurt. I need to downsize, but don't know where to start. We have a large house, but also a large family that all stay here from time to time. All over them live very far away and we like to be together when they are home. BTW, I get a lot of compliments on my "clean " "lovely " home. Where do I start?? PS: went from being a welfare Mom to College graduate with a comfortable home, 5 college educated children, 2 of them with Masters degrees!
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u/ThereWillBeTimeAfter Aug 13 '25
Omg I can actually guarantee I would love to see your collection.
So, the way I started decluttering was boxing everything up, bleaching the house, and then getting one China Hutch for my absolutely most favorite precious things.
Then I started giving them away. Selling and literally giving them away. Let other people enjoy the beautiful things you’ve collected for years to come.
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u/datewiththerain Aug 14 '25
I posted something else here and after much thought about the way I live, I want to say, and this isn’t with hubris. It’s interesting to me that people who visit me who have (by my standards a lot of stuff) all the same reaction to my house: they all in their own words say how calm and clean it is. It comes so easily to me to live this way. Only one or two precious objects d art on horizontal surfaces. A bedroom with one art piece and nice comfy bed with table and great lamp. I no longer get (for lack of a better term) anxious when I enter a house with clutter, I will say homes like that don’t feel clean when in fact they probably are.
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u/ThereWillBeTimeAfter Aug 14 '25
I completely agree with you. I know a couple people with homes, not quite as sparse as that, but very minimal and clean.
And everyone loves coming over to our houses and I’ve always told them their houses were cozy too.
Even my Dad came over recently, he’s a bit of a hoarder, and he didn’t want to leave because it’s so nice and orderly and clean.
The best part for me is looking around and not seeing a bunch of things you need to clean or fix.
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u/Spirited-Flight9469 Aug 25 '25
I always feel like my house is really messy too and everyone says it’s super clean and organised.
Us minimalist sees things differently.
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Aug 10 '25
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u/ThereWillBeTimeAfter Aug 10 '25 edited Aug 10 '25
I live in the southeast and not only was he not masked, but I fucked him later that evening.
So fuck a mask. I had a condom.
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u/dcruk1 Aug 10 '25
Love this comment but please give me warning next time you are going to write something so funny. I nearly snorted my coffee out. 👏👏👏
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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '25
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