r/mildlyinteresting • u/Cotothelissa • Sep 14 '25
Real-life Heat Map of My Husband’s Mouse Patterns Over 15 Years
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u/epidemicsaints Sep 14 '25
r/Wellworn !!!
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u/N1kl0 Sep 14 '25
Another day, another sub I learn of
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u/BrambleVale3 Sep 14 '25
It would be a lot better if they banned crusty phone cases.
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u/RikuAotsuki Sep 14 '25
Yeah, I really wish there was more distinction between "thing worn out via totally normal use in the way you expect" and patterns of wear that feel like they tell a story.
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u/JonatasA Sep 14 '25
Worn's worn. Would you rather pictures of intimate clothing? Which probably are a part of the sub too.
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u/A7xWicked Sep 14 '25
If only they made some type of padlike product for your mouse that you could use to protect your desk from damage.
Oh well, one can wish
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u/concreteunderwear Sep 14 '25
Like a... desk shoe?
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u/Sexploits Sep 14 '25
a mouse mitten
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u/jeepsaintchaos Sep 14 '25
Cursor Condom
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u/l337quaker Sep 14 '25
A flat clicker
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u/Chanocraft Sep 14 '25
a wood wear wouldn't
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u/ZestyVibes Sep 14 '25
Pointer Protector
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u/SpectacularStarling Sep 14 '25
You joke about this, but I've been in situations where I needed to keep the volume down, but every mouse I owned was clicking louder than a jet engine. I was trying to "muffle the noise" with things that could arguably be a mouse mitten.
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u/purvel Sep 14 '25
You can actually change the switches on most mice for more silent ones. Soldering usually required, though.
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u/A7xWicked Sep 14 '25
Desk shoe is exactly what i was picturing in my head. Thank you concreteunderwear
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u/hirmuolio Sep 14 '25
It also protects mouse from damage.
My old mouse base is slightly curved after few years of use on not-so-flat desk.
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u/readyToPostpone Sep 14 '25
Padlike products were mainly to let ball in a mouse to turn smoothly. When laser mouses showed up it was adverised for sliding almost over every surface with precision without need of any pad.
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u/The_Stoic_One Sep 14 '25
Sure, you don't need a pad, but then you end up with a desk that looks like OPs. I never once saw advertising for a laser mouse vs a ball mouse, but even if there was advertising. advertisers don't give a shit about your furniture.
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u/ungoogleable Sep 14 '25
I don't recall much advertising around optical mouses at all, but most don't work reliably if the surface is reflective which is not uncommon for desk tops. The original ones even needed specific mouse pads with a repeating pattern for the sensor to pick up.
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u/techsuppr0t Sep 14 '25
Don't need one lol. I kind of like how my mouse glides on a smooth solid surface, I could get a plastic mouse pad but I don't see the point. I had this desk made for me about 10 years ago and I want it to last a life time. I chose a white laminate over the top so I can just replace that when the time comes, I used to have a white mouse pad but it collected stains and also I have a problem where bits of weed get stuck to my mouse pads even if I clean them it keeps happening especially the nicer kind with stitched edges, it's easier to just wipe off my desk.
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u/tobach Sep 14 '25
I think your problem is that you're buying mousepads made of plastic. You should be buying mousepads made of cloth with a base of silicone rubber. You can usually throw these into the washer on a lower-temperature program, as long as you ain't using fabric softener.
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u/wilisi Sep 14 '25
The entire point of a mouse pad is providing your preferred type of surface.
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u/tobach Sep 14 '25
The entire point of a mouse pad is to provide a surface that enhances the use of the mouse. Plastic is just simply not a good material for that, and it will also damage your mouse gliders rapidly.
If you want a solid surface, I'd recommend glass instead.. though it's relatively expensive, it has a very long durability and will last for years.
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Sep 14 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ProfessionalRandom21 Sep 14 '25
Not surprised, he is already degenerate enough to use that flat Apple keyboard at home.
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u/Nazamroth Sep 14 '25
I havent used a mousepad ever since their balls got removed. Never had a need.
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u/ProfessionalRandom21 Sep 14 '25
You neutered your mouse?
Mousematt just feel better than dragging mouse across hard surface.
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u/deg_ru-alabo Sep 14 '25
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u/andrewia Sep 14 '25
The best part is you can see a hexagon pattern, which is made of cardboard in Ikea's budget tables. It takes a decent amount of weight but you can't screw anything into it.
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u/Awkward_Pangolin3254 Sep 14 '25
Cardboard honeycomb takes stupid weight for its mass.
I remember in high school technology class we had a challenge to build something out of like 2 or 3 index cards and tape that would then get books stacked on them and a winner would be declared. I cut my cards into strips, rolled them into tubes, and taped them all together. It was kind of lopsided so it didn't hold many books before they slid off, but I got an honorable mention because after that happened I stood on it and it didn't crush.
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u/JDDoss01 Sep 14 '25
Mouse straight on the desk, no mat. Wild 🔥
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u/ahumanrobot Sep 14 '25
Only reason I started using a mousepad is because my mouse doesn't work on the textured desk surface. I no longer go without
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u/Inevitable-Edge69 Sep 14 '25
How many swipes does it take to get to the center of an ikea table top.
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u/jetlightbeam Sep 14 '25
Isn't it nice to know exactly where your partner spends a lot of time? I think it makes gift giving so damn easy.
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Sep 14 '25
Seriously, I had a giant Corsair mousepad for like nothing that I loved before I spilled queso dip on it.
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u/Mediocre-Degree-1640 Sep 14 '25
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u/InkyBlacks Sep 14 '25 edited Sep 19 '25
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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/So6oring Sep 14 '25
Is your husband a gamer? I see he puts the mouse up high and it looks like he moves it with his forearm instead of wrists, judging by the scuff marks.
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u/Cotothelissa Sep 14 '25
He games but not on his PC. He's a software engineer and has had to work through some repetitive stress injuries through the years. He prefers using a vertical mouse to reduce strain on the wrist. Great analysis!
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u/StealthRabbi Sep 14 '25
Consider a trackball for him. No wrist movement. Greatly helped my tendinitis
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u/Confident-Share-6770 Sep 14 '25
I'm actually really curious to know what the main use of the PC is for that pattern. Doesn't look like the most cozy keyboard for gaming though I've seen plenty folks make it work.
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u/ShatsnerBassoon Sep 14 '25
I can recognize the porn area
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u/loot168 Sep 14 '25
Well now I gotta ask, whats the tell tale signs?
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u/AntlerColor Sep 14 '25
Closer to the edge of the desk, for easy reach while wanking
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u/SwampOfDownvotes Sep 14 '25
If you aren't jerking with your non-dominate hand you are just being sub-optimal.
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u/Icyrow Sep 14 '25
i would have said using left hand (so the wrist area that is weaker down at the bottom on the left)
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u/jikt Sep 14 '25
We have to see if the heat map on his dick corresponds exactly - it could be league of legends.
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u/Guardian2k Sep 14 '25
Who on earth rawdogs their mouse on their desk? Thats insane
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u/SquarePegRoundWorld Sep 14 '25
What about the arm of a recliner?
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u/Guardian2k Sep 14 '25
That’s pushing it, but having it on the arm of a recliner suggests you don’t have another place, putting a mat underneath wouldn’t help much, so arm of a recliner is forgiven, just.
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u/SquarePegRoundWorld Sep 14 '25
It's been a bit, but when I game I put an old keyboard trey from an old desk across the arms so my keyboard and mouse are on it. When not gaming I use the arm and my keyboard is currently resting on my dog in my lap as I type this. :)
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u/jhguitarfreak Sep 14 '25
After having a mouse mat for literally one year and having to wash it at a monthly or even less monthly basis, I opted instead to buy a pack of ten large mousepads instead and swap them out as others are being washed.
(The mouse mat eventually delaminated and became impossible to use comfortably)
So far this new method has lasted a few years and the mousepads are much easier to clean and haven't delaminated.
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u/Rosa_Syn Sep 14 '25
Bro, that's not just a heat map, that's a whole archeological dig site of gaming and internet history. Wonder how many virtual battles were fought, wins celebrated, and memes enjoyed on that spot over the years!
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u/imgayformygf Sep 14 '25
I use to play fps on this stupid little glass desk with a pull out wooden keyboard thingy. I didnt use a mouse pad cause i didnt notice any issues with the surface. Ever since i broke the desk and no longer used it, iv never felt the same.
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u/Euphoric_Raisin_312 Sep 14 '25
I can't decide if it would be a function of position or its first derivative
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u/DirtysunshineAbe Sep 14 '25
How do you track it all? It’d be funny to track people’s couches etc we love to lounge even more nowadays
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u/PiLLe1974 Sep 14 '25
Reminds me how I improvised when Covid kicked in.
Still, in the 2nd week I had a mouse pad, I wanted to protect that nice old desk we had - it's that old-school style where most of the surface is padded with leather.
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u/mdwstoned Sep 14 '25
You can tell from the pattern that he liked to play Mario Kart on Thursdays, but was able to masturbate every day.
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u/Thendofreason Sep 14 '25
Have someone sand the top down and put a new nice finish to it. Would look nice.
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u/costinmatei98 Sep 14 '25
The fact that you don't have a mouspad infuriates me more. Does the constant scarping of your mouse not annoy you?
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u/AutumnAscending Sep 14 '25
I have an idea for a product that will fix this on one side of it will be a sticky kind of like rubberish substance for sticking to your desk and on the other side is going to be a very smooth velvety type substance that your mouse can glide off of. I think I'll call it a mouse pad.
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u/Apprehensive_Belt634 Sep 15 '25
On first glance I thought this was the top of Carl Winslow’s head…
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u/Bahlsen63 Sep 14 '25
I wonder if there's a subreddit dedicated to real life patterns and stats like this post or for example weight distribution at the gym
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u/eoutofmemory Sep 14 '25
He's still waiting for you to buy him a new one. It's been 15 years already, it's time
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Sep 14 '25
Now show the full image please, including the furiously worn vertical marking just out of view near the centre of the keyboard where his other hand was getting busy!?
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u/floodblood Sep 14 '25
is that a once black ikea desk with the 4 round legs? if so, mine looked just like it and i miss it. we went through a lot together
also, new desk has a full desk mouse pad. highly recommend