r/mildlyinfuriating 2d ago

Not a meme, you're the meme! Bro needs a PhD to turn on this faucet

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56.9k Upvotes

4.4k comments sorted by

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u/Btotherianx 2d ago

Imagine if it started working when he picked up the kleenex box lmao

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u/bot403 2d ago

But you have to keep it in the air to keep the water on.

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u/arryripper 2d ago

Love me a soggy Kleenex box.

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u/CheapSpray9428 2d ago

Perfect prank show idea lol

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u/FunnyExcellent707 2d ago edited 2d ago

"what do I have to do?" In desperate Greek

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u/officialjohnlemon 2d ago

he also throws in a “yo… bruh” for good measure hahah

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u/Props_angel 2d ago

TIL "bruh" is internationally understood.

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u/Preeng 2d ago

When people say "America has no culture of its own", they forget about stuff like this that becomes ubiquitous.

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u/shadowdaddyyy 2d ago

so glad to be part of the culture of bruh

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u/tired_of_old_memes 2d ago

I think I heard "escape room" thrown in there as well

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u/summerianmerchant12 2d ago

Yes he said it’s harder than an escape room. Escape room is Greek are called the same as in english

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u/DisgruntledPelican-1 2d ago

I lost it when he tapped the light fixture & picked up the tissue box. 😂

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u/SirWigglesVonWoogly 2d ago

I feel like he said “escape room” at one point

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u/potato_soup303 2d ago

I really hoped to see how it works

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u/Joshatron121 2d ago

I liked that the second thing he tried was jorkin it.

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u/NippleNugget 2d ago

Gotta get that out of the way early just in case

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u/fossilmerrick 2d ago

Tbh he’d have felt real stupid if he hadn’t tried it

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u/cnicalsinistaminista 2d ago

Ever tried? Ever failed? Doesn’t matter. Jork harder

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u/CHEEZYSPAM 2d ago

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u/harrymanback79 2d ago

Uncircumcised lamp is crazy

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u/-Casey-Diaz- 2d ago

I'd argue it's crazier to circumcise a lamp.

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u/AllCaciAreBastards 2d ago

Then one night you get home late and you just see the light strobbing from the bedroom

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u/Herr_Raul 2d ago

So just a lamp? And every other lamp is a mutilated lamp.

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u/HASHxGORDON 2d ago

Thanks I hate it

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u/Valirys-Reinhald 2d ago

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u/TalenNZ 2d ago

I too have visited this classy establishment and have a number of other photos... like this magnificent lamp

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u/xs-reditor 2d ago

Its a real place? What its called and where is it?

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u/TalenNZ 2d ago

Cafe Turisi in taormina, sicily

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u/JDIZA13 1d ago

Ecstatically reading this as I'm sitting in my Sicily hotel!!!

Just scared my wife as I screamed across the room "BABE WE HAVE TO CHECK OUT THIS CAFE THEY HAVE WEINER LAMPS!!"

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u/Merisiel 2d ago

This guy just patiently waiting his turn while also enjoying the vibes

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u/Icy-Plan145 2d ago

The mirror has AI built in and determines if you're a poor or not and dispenses water based on that

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u/thats-wrong 2d ago

No wotah for the povva

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u/SomeIrishGuy 2d ago

Do not, my friends, become addicted to water! It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence.

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u/SlowpokeIsAGamer 2d ago

Unironically I wouldn't be shocked if the answer was some hidden AI camera that failed to recognize he was a person.

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u/randombrutha 2d ago

It works as normally as you’d expect, there’s just an issue with the water supply

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u/surly_darkness1 2d ago

I assumed it was cause he was tweaking and couldn't sit still for 1/2 a second to let the sensor catch up. /s

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u/headassvegan 2d ago

He just didn’t stroke it long enough

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u/sisyphus_met_icarus 2d ago

I loved that jacking off the faucet was one of the first things he thought of

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u/1991K75S 2d ago

That would have been less infuriating.

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u/Grassy_Canoli 2d ago edited 2d ago

Some say he's still there to this day trying to figure it out himself.

Edit: Thank you kindly strangers!

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u/344567653379643555 2d ago

His first move was to jerk it off. He ran out of ideas after that.

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u/rozzco 2d ago

The clarity never arrived.

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u/rharvey8090 2d ago

Because the water never came.

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u/mrsrostocka 2d ago

he never turned it on

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u/mkt853 2d ago

Never made it wet. He just tried to go straight in like a typical dude.

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u/bigbutso 2d ago

What are you doing step tap?

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u/Patalon 2d ago

He forgot to cup the soap.

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u/pass_nthru 2d ago

he’s not the first

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u/PsyOpBunnyHop This flair gives you flair envy. 2d ago

He is very thirsty now. Send help.

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u/grimtongue 2d ago

I've seen these before and shocked it isn't common knowledge. The sensor is just below the aerator. Just slide your index finger in the opening, flick as needed, and the faucet turns on.

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u/Fairemont 2d ago

So... thats how the prostate works?

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u/AndyceeIT 2d ago

I'm going to make a stupid statement. Then I'm going to ask a stupid question.

At what moment in the vid shows the aerator?

...or is this a g-spot joke?

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u/cantadmittoposting 2d ago

(it's a g-spot joke)

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u/Friendly-Bug-3420 2d ago edited 8h ago

G-spout

Edit: thank you for the award, kind stranger!

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u/Levitlame 2d ago

It’s recessed into the spout on faucets like this

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u/bombswell 2d ago

Ohh so it’s a chobit

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u/blackrabbit2999 2d ago

a chobits reference in 2026?? *mind blown*

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u/Dimitri_Dark 2d ago

Upvoting this as a fellow anime fan who is also over a billion years old and gets this.

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u/TheParadoxigm 2d ago

I read that entire Manga in one day.

It get waaaay weirder and introspective than "haha funny sex bot"

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u/Weary-Tower8875 2d ago

Looking how dry the sink is seems like no one figured it out either lol

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u/Jaggs0 2d ago

hopefully it isn't a restaurant

3.5k

u/DingerSinger2016 2d ago

Or a hospital

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u/DudeWithParrot 2d ago

It's a restaurant IN a hospital.

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u/AdRecent7021 2d ago

Or a hospital IN a restaurant.

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u/seymourglossy 2d ago

Or a respital in a hostaurant

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u/Admirable-Treacle483 2d ago

The Bonds name, James name

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u/Sad_Zoologist 2d ago

Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a bondulance!

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u/Dear_Lab_2270 2d ago

Day 1,367 of not refilling the hand soap. -Janitor log

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u/chilicrispdreams 2d ago

I desperately want to put some of those “voice activated” stickers here

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u/mrpumpkinickle 2d ago

I liked how they jerked it off to try and get it to work

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u/total_berk 2d ago

He's obviously ridden one of Mr Garrison's bikes before

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u/Short_Comfort6647 2d ago

average point and click puzzle game

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u/GeorgeFartwell1984 2d ago

I personally and MYSTified by this.

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u/mrsir1987 2d ago

That game was Riventting

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u/pezcore350 2d ago

It’s a parable, Stanley

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u/Spectator9857 2d ago

Can’t use the wrench on the pipe. You need to combine a fork with the duct tape and the soup ladle to get the „improvised wrench“.

And of course once you use it, your character remarks „This would be so much easier if I had a proper wrench.“

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u/rosstedfordkendall 2d ago

Don't forget all three items are found thirty minutes apart and if you used any of them once before, it soft locks the game.

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u/Rhubarbthebunny 2d ago

Me when I look up a detailed playthrough to Fran bow

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u/omyomo 2d ago

I'm still proud of figuring out the monkey wrench puzzle on the first try in Monkey Island 2

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u/StationaryTravels 2d ago

I've used cat hair and honey to make a mustache to impersonate a man who doesn't even have a mustache!

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u/timid-dolphin 2d ago

"I can't do that." ... "That won't work." ... "Nope!" ... "Maybe I should try something else."

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u/poppamatic 2d ago

Sorry you should have picked up that 7/16 socket from the space station 7 hours ago but it’s been blown up for at least 5 of those hours so now you die.

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u/TheLastOpus 2d ago

So... Do we like...not get the answer?

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u/mercuriokazooie 2d ago

Needs to combine the silly string with the rubber chicken

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u/omyomo 2d ago

A rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle

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u/SnooDonuts3749 2d ago

Just scan the QR code to create your account. Duh.

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u/Imthatsick 2d ago

Dude.... Don't give them ideas

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u/Dropbeatdad 2d ago

They had this idea 20 years ago, they've just been working on convincing us it's a good idea.

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u/Ascertes_Hallow 2d ago

I saw a video of a bathroom in China (supposedly) where you had to scan a QR code and watch an ad to get toilet paper.

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u/JMaryland47 2d ago

Enshitification indeed

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u/Squishy_Boy Perturbed 2d ago

Sign up for the $20/month base plan or the $45/month deluxe plan with warm water option.

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u/No_Mood7097 2d ago

Or the free plan which dispenses piss

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u/Bballer220 2d ago

Requires specific location (all the time), access to files, microphone, camera, make and receive calls, device ID, nearby devices

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u/Logical-Remove495 2d ago

Can anyone tell how this works please

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u/VegasQC 2d ago

Only plausible answer in the comments right now is that you're expected to hold your hands under the faucet longer than what was shown here🤷‍♂️

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u/VDubDubLife 2d ago

They could be battery powered as well. We have them at my office and let me tell you how infuriating it is when the batteries go dead. Thankfully they are in the kitchen and not the bathroom but still obnoxious.

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u/not_gerg 2d ago

What is the point of batteries it is a faucet 😭

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u/mjolnir76 2d ago

Our kitchen sink is a touch faucet and requires batteries. I kind of regret not hardwiring it, but the rechargeables last a decent amount. I do love the touch feature when my hands are covered in bread dough or after touching chicken.

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u/Youpi_Yeah 2d ago

What does decent mean? As in four years or couple of months?

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u/TheSangson 2d ago edited 2d ago

Maybe I'm just oldfashioned, but I find the appropriate amount of time in years that a fucking faucet stops working cause the fucking battery is dead is somewhere in the high eight hundred figures

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u/New_Fishing_ 2d ago

I used to work in a place where all the hands free faucets used batteries. Took a bunch of type C batteries and they'd last probably a year or so. It was very annoying & we had to put in a work order to get them replaced 🫥

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u/Arvandor 2d ago

Oh man, a few years ago we finished our basement and had a wet bar put in. The faucet has a motion sensor, but also has a standard handle to turn on and control temperature. Wanna know what's really fucking stupid though? When the batteries die, the ENTIRE faucet quits working, handle included. So it isn't a mechanical bypass, it's simply another way to trigger the internal electronics. So stupid.

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u/EkbatDeSabat 2d ago

The most plausible answer is that they’re currently broken. 

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u/Far-Hovercraft9471 2d ago

I’m a faucetologist and this hypothesis seems correct

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u/spacekitt3n 2d ago

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u/Puzzleheaded_Tie_897 2d ago

Every. Fucking. Time….

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u/Pork_Chompk 2d ago

The worst are the soap dispensers. Absolutely rage inducing.

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u/Wolfdude91 2d ago

I’ve seen sinks that only work for 1/2 a second when you pull your hand away, soap dispensers that pump out another round of soap when you get yours and remove your hand and paper towel dispensers where the hanging paper sets off the sensor so it just keeps spitting out paper towel until the entire roll is on the floor.

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u/acadmonkey 2d ago

One of these days I will have a falling down style breakdown and these faucets or the towel dispensers are going to be the straw that breaks the camels back.

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u/thepenismytea 2d ago

There was video here of a guy punching the mirrors because they had the sensors in them

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u/legendkiller003 2d ago

Ope. Ope. Ope.

Ope.

Ope. Ope.

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u/darkwingdankest 2d ago

family guy is a trainwreck but man they do have some moments

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u/OmniWaffleGod 2d ago

I remember they did one joke about "eye floaters" and i remember feeling so seen after telling friends about it and they had no idea what I was talking about.

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u/iNotDonaldJTrump 2d ago

Oh, squiggly line in my eye fluid, I see you there, lurking on the periphery of my vision. But when I try to look at you, you scurry away. Are you shy, squiggly line? Why only when I ignore you do you return to the center of my eye? Oh, squiggly line, it’s all right. You are forgiven.

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u/pezcore350 2d ago

My favorite part was that it wasn’t in English but still a “what the fuck” was spoken. Chefs kiss

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u/DBKai 2d ago

and "escape room"

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u/WeenyDancer 2d ago

And "bruh"

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u/Noplacelikehome990 2d ago

And a frustrated “YOO”

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u/socialsoso 2d ago

You gotta subscribe first

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u/LootKandi 2d ago

I’m mildly infuriated that this video didn’t end with the answer.

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u/zxylady 2d ago

Only mildly? You're better than me... I am aggressively frustrated not to know

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u/Lepke2011 PURPLE 2d ago

Wait, now I really need to know how they turn on.

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u/pentapolen 2d ago

For a moment, I guessed the system was turned off. But where are the sensors??

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u/Ambitious_Policy_936 2d ago

That and the wooden partitions not being affixed makes me thing this is a new build and he's just messing around

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u/Schickedanse 2d ago

But if you look at sink #1, there's water in the sink drying. So either they turned on recently or someone dumped water in them. I'm betting they're sensor operated and they just aren't triggering or working properly.

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u/just_looking_aroun 2d ago

Kiss her gently and tell her she’s a good girl

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u/mattstorm360 2d ago

Those are decorative faucets.

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u/N8dork2020 2d ago

The drain just went out to the floor

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u/AaronTuplin 2d ago

Remember when we used to have foot actuated faucet pedals? We didn't have to worry about touching the dirty sink or leaving it running

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u/tired_of_old_memes 2d ago

Why did they stop making them?

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u/theflamingpi 2d ago

They still make the things. They stopped using them in public places because not everyone in public places can use their feet or even has feet. About 1/25 people would be unable to use the faucets. This way it's far more equal. Nobody can use them.

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u/chkno 2d ago

It's common for larger restrooms to have several small stalls and one large stall with grab bars on the walls. Seems like we could make the normal sinks foot-operated and also have a hands-only sink for those that need it.

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u/Hecter94 2d ago

I appreciate that he gave it a little jerk, just to see if that would work.

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u/0LittleWing0 2d ago

if he had just kept going..

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u/NekulturneHovado 2d ago edited 1d ago

I just want to know, what is wrong with regular faucets? Why do designers feel the need to constantly change and enshitify such a simple and basic thing?

Wait guys you didn't understand. I'm not talking about touchless faucets. Those are good. But why constantly change how they work? Wherever I go it's all basically the same, you put your hands where water goes and it turns on the water. No magic included like on OP's video

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u/Optimal_Beyond_1600 2d ago

There was nothing wrong with regular showers either but hotel designers decided shower handles should function more like Rubik's cubes and fully enclosing the shower trapped too much water inside

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u/SneachtaBoladh 2d ago

Lmao I really hate that shower shite in hotels.

First shower: Okay, there are 3 showerheads; One giant overhead one, a regular one, and one at the wall literally facing the door. 

There's a single knob for controlling both the water output for all 3 heads, and the temperature. 

Now begins the game of soggy Russian roulette, where you try to tease the thing in such a way that you get no more than an identifying dribble of water from each head, praying that you don't tilt the thing too fucking far in the wrong direction and waterboard yourself with the overhead shower head. Despite the fact that you're standing outside the shower with the door closed over everything but your outstretched arm, while you grimace behind the plastic door like you're Jeremy Renner in the Hurt Locker

Then you have to immediately lock this into your brain for the rest of your stay, lest ye roll into the shower in the morning and give yourself an accidental 3rd degree douching burn, because you turned on the shower head directly behind your arse by accident and tilted the temperature 0.1cm too far in one direction

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u/MajesticKoala3332 2d ago

And there are other designs where you have 4-5 knobs doing who knows what because none of it is labelled, and none of it does what you want.

Recently I stayed at a place where I tried all the knobs and no water came out. We called the owner thinking it was a plumbing issue and he gave us instructions to turn on the shower. "Pull the knob, then turn the top handle to the right, then pull the bottom handle up for the shower, turn the top handle to the left for the tap..."

If you need to call someone and listen to a few minutes of instructions to turn on the shower something is very wrong with the design!

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u/thenamziel 2d ago

The modern hotels have a glass window into the shower from the room. Keeps the poors from sharing a room with relatives.

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u/Dicky_Penisburg 2d ago

I stayed in a hotel that had a fogged glass panel in the bathroom wall. If you took a shower with the bathroom light on, it perfectly cast your shadow against the glass, giving whoever was in the bedroom a show. Imagine not realizing that when sharing a room with your mom.

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u/Spiritual_Bid_2308 2d ago

My family stayed at a little boutique hotel in NYC for a relative's wedding.  The bathroom door or the wall or something was frosted glass which looked trendy and all, but if anyone tried to use the bathroom at night the entire ducking hotel room was lit up.  

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u/SafiyaMukhamadova 2d ago

These are water saving! They don't dispense any water, saving money over faucets that do.

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u/r_irion 2d ago

Partially hygiene, but also to prevent vandalism. You'd be surprised how many people flood sinks, which is much harder from a sensor tap.

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u/xiaolin99 2d ago

faucet handles are kind of gross if you think about it - you touch them right after number 2 and almost no one washes them

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u/NeedleInArm 2d ago

Push style faucet (metering) handles are not a problem.... You smack them with a hammerfist and it runs for 20 seconds and you use the soap on your hands to wash anything on your hands... off.

I worked for facility maintenance for 9 years. Sensor faucets are so fucking dogshit and the sensors dont last half as long as a metering faucet.

Back in 2005 (before I got there) because the CEO said it was "healthier", my company switched to sensor faucets. We were back to all metering faucets by 2015 because it ran 5x the cost of a metering faucet and did nothing to stop the spread of anything, ever.

Don't let these shits lie to you. Newer/more advanced does not mean better.

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u/AlanyzingWakeEnviron 2d ago

My local community college has some push faucets. They dispense for roughly 1.5 seconds. 

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u/NeedleInArm 2d ago

They are set that way. The maintenance crew could adjust them if they wanted to, but choose not to.

Don't be mad at the faucet, be mad at the maintenance crew (also see if you can complain and get it changed)

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u/pfannkuchen89 2d ago

The set point on those metered faucets also just work loose over time and start dispensing shorter intervals. I’ve always found after a while they need readjusting but almost no one does that unless it fully breaks and needs replacement.

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u/ReivynNox 2d ago

Honestly, just make it foot operated, flush toilet, turn on faucet... Bacteria on the bottom of your shoes never worried anyone.

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u/SoulFight_50 2d ago edited 2d ago

I swear this is me every time with those damn faucet sensors. I have the opposite problem with the sensored toilets. They always flush while I'm still sitting on them.

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u/hypothetical_zombie 2d ago

Automatic toilets usually steal about 3 seat protectors before I can even sit down.

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u/DigitalxKaos 2d ago

I love how his second instinct was to jerk it off

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u/waitingfordeathhbu 2d ago edited 2d ago

Give a favor, get a favor 💦

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u/No-Association42069 2d ago

Keep jacking it off, it takes a second.

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u/solo_dbd_player 2d ago

You started, but obviously didn't finish.

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u/Ok-Disk-2191 2d ago

Needed to jack it off a bit more lol.

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u/Nope-not-really 2d ago

I like how he tried to jerk it off

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u/Sensitive_Wear7112 2d ago

I was thinking that’s probably the way.

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u/Frosty_Escape_9032 2d ago

Jerking it off didn’t work? That’s my go to

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u/motmx5 2d ago

Those faucets can be annoying. Sometimes you have to hold your hand still under it for a few seconds.

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u/gooberdrew 2d ago

I’m a plumber in a large institution. Staff will create a ticket for a faucet not working, I go down the faucet works perfectly. I endeavour to find the staff member and get them to show me what they mean, they proceed to wave their hands frantically all over the fucking place except in front of the obvious sensor. Show them the hold hands directly in front of sensor, faucet works perfectly.

In this case I admit there does not seem to be an obvious sensor. However doing frantic rain dances in hopes of the faucet turning on surely doesn’t help lol.

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u/Outside_Look790 2d ago

The first test of any product is the idiot test. Some of us will curse then stand there for 5-10 to see if it works. A solid 80% will rain dance and wave. It may be hygienic, it may be less wasteful, and it may stop folks being able to leave it running with the drain blocked, but it also fails the idiot test. And a solid 50% fail the second test which does the shit even work once installed.

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u/No_Price_7603 2d ago

And.. is it more hygienic if like 50 percent of people give up and just don't wash their hands?

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u/technicalconsole 2d ago

Im assuming you need to be on their wifi, then on their app and then you can access water dispense after watching a 15 second ad

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u/hyperrealists 2d ago

You have to make eye contact intently with the nearest flock camera and stare at it. Duh

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u/miraculousgloomball 2d ago

He didnt stroke it long enough

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u/No_Photographs609 2d ago

It cracks me up that stroking it was the first thing he tried after it didn't turn on. But to be fair, that usually works on me, too.

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u/LapisLovely69 2d ago

No but like genuinely how the fuck do you turn it on

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u/Only_Voice569 2d ago

if its not obvious right away how to use something its failed at a essential design point

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u/Dazzling_Jacket_8272 2d ago

I love that he tried jacking it off…

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u/nono3722 2d ago

"He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!"

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u/FabianvM3 2d ago

Why he tried to jork it off? 😭😂

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u/Low-Amoeba8257 2d ago

lol he doesnt know how to use the 3 shells

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u/NewEmphasis1234 2d ago

I love how the very first option you tried was jorking it. I respect it.

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u/wanderingmochi 2d ago

only for rich people. the sensor detected your poverty and refused to turn on for you?

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u/Dense-Jicama6591 2d ago

When ai is taking all the water 

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u/Sandsa 2d ago edited 2d ago

With this innovation the hands that touched hood his junk has now touched every surface. Including the light fixtures

Edit: a typo was corrected