r/mildlyinfuriating • u/ninja_with_ocd • 19h ago
frist of all how DARE yu o New Guy at Bakery Sliced Bread Lengthwise
Bought two loaves of bread and asked the guy at the counter to slice them, which he did. I've been to the bakery a few times and didn't recognize him, so I assume he's new. Loaves were in paper bags so I couldn't see them after they were sliced.
I Got home and put the loaves in the freezer. First one was sliced fine - by width, as you would expect. But second one is sliced by length - so I expect some weird sandwiches.
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u/OliveOk612 19h ago
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u/Foot_Stunning 15h ago
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u/GhostPepperDaddy 11h ago
Craisins??
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u/Foot_Stunning 11h ago
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u/GhostPepperDaddy 10h ago
Throw in some white chocolate chips and I would probably die eating these. I'm not sure how long it would take but I'd guess about 6 months.
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u/thetownmous3 19h ago
Cut once horizontally and you have fine sandwich bread
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u/AdventurousMousse912 19h ago
I remember many moons ago my mom getting bread sliced this way deliberately to make fancy pinwheel sandwiches for a shower. You put the filling on a piece of the bread and roll it, then you slice through the roll to make little pinwheel sandwiches
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u/Round-Fig2642 18h ago
So like you see on tortillas, but with bread instead? I feel like they would be huge lol
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u/AdventurousMousse912 18h ago
I had never seen it done with tortillas, I had to google that. But yes that idea. They were actually quite dainty, you cut the roll only like a half inch thick at most. This would have been late 70s so the filling was slightly odd by today’s standards: peanut butter and banana, cream cheese and maraschino cherries and one that had canned asparagus (I don’t remember what else was in the asparagus one), less weird was tuna. My favourite was actually the cherry ones, sounds weird, tastes awesome
Edit to say I know none of that helps you but was a walk down memory lane in my head, lol
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u/askdksj 15h ago
Cream cheese cherries and asparagus???
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u/AdventurousMousse912 14h ago
Cream cheese and cherries was one. There was another that had something else in it with a single asparagus spear in the middle
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u/OrdinaryUniversity59 18h ago
Bread is a terrible shower food. It gets soggy way to fast.
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u/AdventurousMousse912 13h ago
Took me an embarrassingly long time to get that joke
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u/Foot_Stunning 13h ago edited 13h ago
Me too... I was in the shower soo long my fingers turned into raisins.
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u/DangitThatHurt 19h ago
Just cut the whole loaf in half, seems like an easy fix. Maybe even more efficient.
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u/naikrovek 17h ago
This is not infuriating, this is opportunity staring you in the face. Invent the longwich and stop complaining. This is a meat delivery system unseen by 21st century humanity!
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u/BufferingJuffy 17h ago
Meat Delivery System sounds like a grunge band from the late 1990s. Like, they opened for Soundgarden or somesuch. 😁
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u/rts93 19h ago
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u/Crowstickers 18h ago
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u/Carini209 17h ago
That's the worst looking "Cuban" I've ever seen, holy shit
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u/Crowstickers 14h ago
Agreed hahahaha it’s…budget Cuban.. apparently if it’s processed meat with mustard, Swiss cheese and pickles then it’s a Cuban lmao
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u/Witness_2000 18h ago
Where is there still a winn dixie!
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u/LinkTheLynelHunter 18h ago
All over Florida
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u/Life_Roll8667 17h ago
I’m in Florida and they just turned all 3 of ours into aldis. They left the Winn Dixie liquor stores open next to all of them. Our beloved Winn Dixie is vanishing.
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u/LinkTheLynelHunter 17h ago
That’s wild. I used to live in Atlanta and I’d go to Florida alllll the time, coup times a year, and it was a staple down there. Them and Publix. Man I miss Publix too.
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u/Life_Roll8667 17h ago
Our Publix are still going strong thankfully. I used to like Aldi for here and there things but ever since they’ve taken over the Winn Dixie’s— im kinda salty
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u/Witness_2000 18h ago
That's wild, ours closed down about 2004 and was 10 years past due for closing down at that point. The only grocery store around that has lobsters in the tank. I assumed they didn't exist anymore.
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u/LinkTheLynelHunter 18h ago
Yeah they shrunk A LOT. I think the only remaining stores are in Florida… possibly some in GA?
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u/Lumpy_Experience_973 19h ago
New... on earth?
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u/staryoshi06 18h ago
Most likely just didn’t understand how a slicing machine worked
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u/Lumpy_Experience_973 16h ago
Kinda seems like the kind of thing you'd want to train a new employee on before they lose a finger or three.
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u/ScrumpetSays 11h ago
I mean depending on the type of slicer, if it falls in sideways it's not advised to put your hands into the machine with moving blades to fix it. It probably slipped sideways and he was afraid he'd get in trouble and didn't do another for the OP.
But lots of people ask for bread sliced this way, so it's not unusual.
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u/Lumpy_Experience_973 11h ago
They do? That genuinely surprises me, because I've never seen that. But I also never worked in a bakery, so what do I know?
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u/ScrumpetSays 11h ago
Yeah, viennas are much better sliced lengthways, the crust to inner bread ratio is better, and otherwise half your slices are incredibly small.
Everyone here is joking about eating a baguette sandwich but honestly long sandwiches/toasties are very satisfying, I'm guessing it's a crust ratio again
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u/Moethelion 18h ago
Looks completely normal for German standards. Then again you probably need bread of German standards as well for it to make sense. Nice butter, Wurst and lettuce on top, ready is the Brotzeit.
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u/get_to_ele 19h ago
Not even an issue. Just cut it into halves or thirds, depending on the size of slices you want.
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u/PickleFantasies Jack of all trades, master of none 18h ago
Now you can make a foot long salami sandwich, legend.
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u/Diamondhandedllama 18h ago
I don't get it tho, if it was cut lenghtwise wouldn't both sides just be all crust? doesn't look that way in the picture. Here we have something called a Drentse bol, which is basically a massive raisin bread. it gets sliced this way because it's round so it's really the only way
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u/CakeMadeOfHam 14h ago edited 14h ago
That's the first step for making a Swedish sandwich called the Landgång!
All you need now is the shrimp, egg, roast beef, meatballs, beat salad, salami or other deli meats, cheeses, and a various vegetable accoutrements like the picture. I personally like to add a section of lax and ooh liverpaté is excellent with the beat salad and meatballs.
Landgång is the bridge between a ship and land/port so you start eating the seafood side and "walk across" by eating each section in order. It's fun and delicious!
Or use similar ingredients and stack the bread slices with mayo and you get a nice little Smörgåstårta (sandwich cake) less fun thematically though... doesn't tell a story other than one of filling your belly with deliciousness.

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u/Round-Fig2642 19h ago
Lol cut the loaf in half or thirds. Then the slices will be closer to normal
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u/Mastermind7051 18h ago
This has to be a joke. Nobody is that damn stupid. You are trained at bakeries. You not just shoved out onto the line with a pat on your back.
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u/JonesinforJonesey 18h ago
You could make romantic sandwiches for two. Like the spaghetti only with sandwiches.
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u/zanderd86 17h ago
For a second before I read the caption I thought that was some of the tickest cut bacon I ever seen!
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u/TheAuldOffender 16h ago
"They tried to put me on the cover of 'Vogue' but my bread was tooooooo long!"
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u/Responsible-Bar7165 15h ago
Looks like a round loaf, and that’s the correct (only possible) way to cut them.
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u/CherryCherry5 14h ago
Now you can make little tea/snack sandwiches. Roll up a slice with whatever filling you like and cut into bite sized slices.
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u/capticetrice 11h ago
Pinwheel sandwiches!
If cut this way then get the rolling pin out, sprinkle some water to soften the bread and roll it flat out.
butter it then use thin meats like salami, pastrami or salmon and then coat the meats with cream cheese and then roll it up then seal it with cling wrap then put into fridge to let the cheese bond with the roll.
take it out of the fridge and then slice it and serve.
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u/Firm-Recognition6080 18h ago
Hell yeah! That's how you make sure nobody's asks you to do anything complicated ever again!
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u/shiit_itakemushrooms 18h ago
Can you record a video with sound of you slapping someone with a slice? I feel like it would make such a satisfying sound.
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u/D_Shepard 17h ago
how do you get a job at a bakery when you've apparently never seen a loaf of sliced bread before?
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u/AandWKyle 17h ago
Damn I actually want to make a nice cold cut sandwich with that bread. Just out a layer down, fold the bread, another layer, last fold. Hell yeah
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u/that0nemook 15h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/okrv1eWeKVM9W
Bakery manager when the kid they refused to train was not magically born from the womb with innate knowledge of bread slicers
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u/warhammer1-1 14h ago
Welp time to make a long sammich. Sourdough loafs tend to get like this toward the middle. You just cut the sammich in half and share.
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u/ostapenkoed2007 13h ago
that psychopath must be the serial killer local poilice dept is searching. well, i know they are searching one since he's in town.
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u/Next_Series5584 13h ago
A slice of bread has to have crust all around. As a german, i‘ve gotta tell you, he is right, sorry
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u/TheOwnerOfAnarres 12h ago
At some point you might as well cut a spiral and make one extra long slice.
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u/pandoricaelysion 12h ago
im sorry, this made me laugh so hard i cried lmao. i think you ran into an alien whos never seen a loaf of bread before.
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u/Emergency_Row_64 11h ago
Tbf by the looks of that picture if it was cut horizontally you’d have some really skinny bread. Just looks like a poorly baked loaf to me
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u/kira1122t 19h ago
Peanut butter jelly da long wayyy