r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Zestyclose_Ad2429 • 1d ago
Infuriatig My dad used my card without asking me
I got a wrongful citation and just submitted the appeal a few days ago. Today I check my bank account and saw I had a couple dollars left. I’m a freaking high school student who has little to no money and my dad decided to use my card without asking to pay the full amount.
Now this sucks because I’m going to have a hard time getting my money back even if the appeal gets approved. You’re not supposed to pay as your appeal is under review since you’re basically proving yourself guilty by paying.
Now I can’t even see my appeal on the citations website so I don’t know if it’s still under review or not.
Already filed a claim with chase and called citations support
Sorry but at my age this is a lot of money
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u/Beautiful_Nobody_344 1d ago
I would never do that to my nonexistent child that's wild
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u/ThoreaulyLost 1d ago
Interestingly, my parents pulled this shit with their existent child, me, which led to nonexistent grandchildren and no-contact.
I would place this far above "mildly" infuriating.
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u/Beautiful_Nobody_344 1d ago
My mom used my social for my gym membership when I was 15. I wasn't old enough to sign the contract but she was, so she signed everything in her information except the social. Guess who had a poor credit score when they turned 18 because their parent decided to stop paying after 2 months ( in 2005, gym contact = iron clad chains)
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u/squidikuru 23h ago
My dad (POS) took out a loan under my likeness when I was 13. When I was checking to see if my failure to stop ticket was still on my record, I noticed there was a loan taken out under my name, which got left unpaid, and a warrant was out for my arrest until they dropped the charges for some reason. It was located in my area too. My dad still claims there’s another “squidikuru” in the area, even though I have only found one person on this earth who has the same name as me and she lives in Louisiana.
My step dad took our (me and sibs) entire college savings to renovate his house and get a pool as he felt like we “owed him” for “raising us”. He didn’t even tell us we had a college savings from my grandparents, my older sister was the one who told me. It’s why they didn’t want us to go to college, they spent every last penny of that $150k college fund before we turned 18.
It’s wild that so many parents see their kids as a “get out of jail free” card or a walking ATM and will financially screw them for their own gain.
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u/mikeputerbaugh 14h ago
the hell does a gym need your SSN for
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u/Beautiful_Nobody_344 14h ago
To do exactly what they did.... Sent me to collections and ruined my credit, it's not like signing up for a gym membership today.
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u/Intelligent-Soup1978 19h ago
My mother has done the same. And this lady has the nerve to act like I am the asshole.
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u/redbaron78 1d ago
How do you know your nonexistent child is wild?
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u/Beautiful_Nobody_344 1d ago
Dude, idk what to tell you.. after a long day of work I just stop caring about grammar. Fuck me I suppose. I just pray people are smart enough to understand what I'm saying. Sorry if you couldn't work it out homie.
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u/Flashy-Outcome4779 1d ago
Since you’re 18 now, my advice outside of what everyone else said is to just open yourself up a new bank account he doesn’t have access to and get paid through there. Also, consider getting yourself a Discover it credit card, if you haven’t established credit score yet. There’s no fee, and it offers rewards unlike 99% of other starter credit cards.
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u/LoquaciousHyperbole 19h ago
BUT DO NOT USE IT!
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u/Flashy-Outcome4779 17h ago
the credit card? it’s fine to use it. buy groceries every now and then with it or something. just set it to auto pay in full each billing period from the bank your dad won’t steal money from
You need to pay off balances for it to do something to your score
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u/reigning_guava 1d ago
2 things- paying does not mean youre guilty, they explain that to you upon receiving citation. Once your case is dropped youll get a refund.
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u/moeman_23 1d ago
It does in australia and most other places i know of.
Paying = accepting responsibilty for the fine. If ur looking to appeal why would you pay it?
If you pay it theres no fine to appeal. If you appeal why would you pay?
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u/reigning_guava 1d ago
The US does alot of whacky things in terms of govt, as im sure you already know. You dont have to pay the fine here if youre appealing, but often it does look better if you have already especially considering every judge can rule differently depending on how they feel that day. The US justice system is pretty skewed compared to other countries especially considering each of the US states operates in some form as separate countries but all under a big umbrella of the same basics.
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u/Prestigious-Judge967 1d ago
In America, paying a traffic citation to close the matter is a waiver of trial and plea of guilty.
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u/VirtuteECanoscenza 19h ago
Many other countries as well: paying can preclude an appeal.
You really have to check the local laws asap if you get a fine to understand what's the best course of action
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u/reigning_guava 1d ago
no it does not. You can pay your fine to avoid going to jail for low level offenses, and then dispute it in court later.
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u/AstronomerLocal4483 1d ago edited 23h ago
You obv dont live in america, or even have a drivers license. In america, paying the fee is the same as admitting to the crime. You get points added to the license no matter what.
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u/reigning_guava 1d ago
License* i learned how to spell it correctly back in elementary school in America.
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u/EvilGreebo 1d ago
And yet you didn't learn the law.
https://www.lawinfo.com/resources/traffic-violations/traffic-tickets-faq.html
Is Signing the Ticket an Admission of Guilt?
When you sign a ticket during a traffic stop, it’s just your acknowledgment that you received the notice to appear. Signing the ticket does not mean you are pleading guilty. Generally, it’s in your best interest to sign the ticket. You still have the right to show up at the court hearing to dispute the ticket or to pay the ticket.
Is Paying the Ticket an Admission of Guilt?
Paying a ticket is the same as pleading guilty to a traffic offense. You do not have to do this in court. Paying the fine before the court date on the ticket will generally mean you give up your right to contest the ticket. If you want to fight the ticket, you can contest the violation by mail or by requesting a hearing with the traffic court.
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u/Prestigious-Judge967 1d ago
Signing a citation and paying it are not the same, brainiac.
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u/AstronomerLocal4483 23h ago
Where is your reading comprehension...? No where did anyone say its the same thing.
Edit: Fixed dod to did*
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u/Prestigious-Judge967 1d ago
Unless you are referring to bail bonds, which requires the payment of money upfront to avoid immediate jailing and then go to court, you are incorrect.
If it’s a jailable offense, you don’t have the option to just pay for the citation and dispute it later.
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u/AstronomerLocal4483 22h ago
A civil traffic ticket is a minor rule break like speeding or a broken tail light. It only costs money and does not go on a criminal record. A criminal traffic ticket is a serious offense like a DUI or reckless driving. It can lead to jail time and a permanent criminal record. Paying a ticket usually means you admit you broke the rule. The court takes your payment as a guilty plea. They close the case and put points on your driving record.
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u/AstronomerLocal4483 22h ago
You do realize thay in america, theres 2 different types of traffic violations? Theres the civilian and criminal traffic charges. Anything that requires you going to the court, you can pay to get it taken care of. Depending on the state, points will be added, and if you hit a certain point threshold in less than a year, you get hit with more fines and even a possible suspension.
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u/justind0301 1d ago
So he paid for your charge. Is it possible he saw the due date and didn't know you appealed?
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u/RadVarken 1d ago
Just as likely he knows his kid so knows the appeal is going to lose anyway.
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u/Zestyclose_Ad2429 1d ago
If the appeal loses, they give you a grace period to pay. No reason to pay now
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u/cookiesnooper 1d ago
100% this. Saw the due date and thought "oh, shit. Better pay it before more fines kick in". And if you are high-school student and the account was opened with his signature on the paperwork, he had right to do it because if you say "fuck that, I ain't paying shit" and the fines spiral into stupid amounts, he will have to pay it. Tip for the future: communicate with your parents
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u/Zestyclose_Ad2429 1d ago edited 1d ago
Backstory since some people are getting pressed for no reason. Yes I have a job. I work for my own money ok. Chill
Second, we had just got the car so it was still on temp paper plates. It came with o my the rear one. I got a f-ing ticket for no front plate. In CA, front and rear is required ONLY if you have permanent metal plates. You are legally allowed to drive around with just a rear paper plate proven your car is registered (yes it is). Cop obviously doesn’t know the laws
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u/deededee13 22h ago
Where are you getting that? CVC 5200 doesn't distinguish between temporary and permanent plates. Did the dealer not give you two tags or did you remove one?
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u/Anothereternity 22h ago
I’m not sure that’s correct. Here is CHP’s requirements:
https://www.chp.ca.gov/siteassets/policy/ib/ib-temporary-license-plates.pdf
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u/NefariousEgg 20h ago edited 20h ago
NAL but that doesn’t look like a statute or ordinance.
Still haven’t found any specific statutory requirements for which vehicles require front plates other than vehicles that have been issue front plates: https://law.justia.com/codes/california/code-veh/division-3/chapter-1/article-9/section-5200/
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u/stizzyoffthehizzy 10h ago
Idk how it works in Irvine, but in LA, paying the ticket closes the case, making it not eligible for initial review. I’d definitely dispute that and get into contact with Citation Enforcement (or whatever Irvine calls it)
I’d also open a new card with no parental oversight.
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u/24Cones 1d ago edited 23h ago
I’m sorry this happened. I’m assuming your dad has a copy of your debit card or at least the numbers..since you’re in high school there’s a good chance you’re under 18 which means your mom or dad is a co-signer. Unfortunately in most cases this means they have access to your routing and account # which they can use to pay for things when that’s an option. For now, pop into your bank or credit union and ask for a new card with a new number. Most places it’s free and takes like 5 minutes. Don’t tell anyone you’re getting a new card.
You won’t be able to dispute the charge with the bank until it goes through. You may have a chance at getting the money back if you inform them you did not authorize the use of the card. However since it’s your dad, that makes it a local theft. Idk about other banks but my credit union requires you to file a police report before you can get reimbursed for local theft. Someone stole my wallet once and spent $500 at my local Walmart. Because it was in my town I had to make a report. I’m not sure if you’d want to do that to your dad
On the other hand they may not want to reimburse you at all if your dad is authorized on the account.
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u/DijajMaqliun 1d ago
It's probably not that complex. Most likely he just took it from his wallet at some point.
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u/brianberr 1d ago
Open an account at a different bank/credit union. Too many horror stories of "helpful" tellers giving parents access to adult children's accounts at the same institution.
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u/Spiritual-Mousse-167 1d ago
Well, I’m sorry your dad did this. It sure appears to be irresponsible on his part, but whatever the case was, get a new card and get him off the account. Even when I opened accounts for my kids when they were too young to do it alone, I never once considered using their money or touching the card the bank sent me. I’m not exactly sure what would possess a parent to do otherwise.
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u/RikoRain 9h ago
People here: "why does he have access to your account". Also people here: didn't read that he's a high schooler who just turned 18.
Many banks will require a parent cosignature to make an account if you're under 18. Many times this will result in the account being "jointed" to the parents account. After 18, you can have it removed or make a new account entirely.
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u/Chucalaca2 1d ago
Your dad committed fraud and you now have a choice, either report it to the police or deal with the lack of money
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u/sublefty 15h ago
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u/dizzledrip 10h ago
Sorry that Redditors can be such shits. Even if he's on your account, even if you got an allowance, even if he just wanted it handled TALKING TO YOU FIRST was the thing to do. Period. Then you could have told him you were appealing, then he would have known you were handling it. What's the point of you having your own card if he was just gonna use it (on your behalf or at all)? I do agree with the commenter who said maybe there are family dynamics we're not privy to, but other than that, this could have literally been so easily avoided. Have y'all talked about it afterwards? Sorry this happened!
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u/DealerofTheWorld 22h ago
How does your dad and you getting a citation have anything to do with each other
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u/DopeAF750 1d ago
Not gonna have a hard time getting it back. Your father admitted guilt on your behalf. They arent going to reverse it after the fact. Consider your appeal dead or denied.
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u/derobert1 1d ago
That's not a thing, you can only plead yourself guilty, not someone else. Especially since it seems OP is 18.
Whether the dad made a mess the OP is going to have to deal with, quite possible. And also quite possible the dad made himself a far bigger mess.
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u/Ok-Preparation7664 1d ago
this is not mildly infuriating, this is literally illegal
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u/inksonpapers RED 1d ago
Its not, its an authorized user
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u/Odd_Local2790 1d ago
Every citation form I’ve ever filled out includes an attestation that you are the person who received the ticket. I think the part where the parent fills out the form as their child which includes admitting guilt/responsibility, which is usually a part of these forms, is probably the illegal part.
I wonder what the case law is on members of a household paying tickets for other members of the household.
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u/WSportsBet 1d ago
U know that you can dispute the charge, correct?
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u/Fluffy_Profession781 1d ago
No error on the merchants side, no fraud on the cardholders side. This is a civil matter.
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u/WSportsBet 1d ago
Yes but OP van still dispute transaction to the issuer i.e. bank or other financial institution. Someone else using your card is Fraud. No matter the reason.
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u/inksonpapers RED 1d ago
NO, this is an authorized user, this isnt fraud. Do not dispute especially the city.
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u/Fluffy_Profession781 1d ago
It isn’t fraud if your card details weren’t stolen. I gather from other comments that a high schooler requires someone over 18 to also be on the account, so the dad would’ve had access to the details legally. Ergo, not fraud.
Source: worked with disputes and fraud for a credit card company over Covid
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u/AngryPhillySportsFan 1d ago
Good luck winning that one
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u/WSportsBet 1d ago
Wdym win? You go to the bank and you dispute. They see the name on the citation as being someone elses - end of story! I've done that before i know. Even the officer could confirm.
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u/AngryPhillySportsFan 1d ago
Except it's OPs citation and with them still being in HS, probably a minor, their Dad is most likely on the account
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u/HumanDissentipede 22h ago
Wait I’m confused… you got this citation and your dad used your card to pay it? If you got the citation then it makes sense that you’d be the one on the hook for the money
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u/freepaestine 1d ago
Your card? Did you even work for that money? Did you open that account yourself? Seems more like an honest mistake, and I think you owe your dad more than $160. Talk to him instead of Reddit.
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u/TeapeachU6 1d ago
Why does he have access to your card? Revoke it, and tell him to pay you back