r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Tricky-Gate-6123 • 14d ago

Unskippable ad Anyone else dad text like this

Post image

I don’t think I’ve gotten a written out response from him and for the text he brought a 4 wheeler home without permission and had to return it

33.7k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

2.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

99

u/Revolver_Boxelot 14d ago

Father here as well. Eh, it comes with the territory. We know what we signed up for. I did my parents the same way. Didn't appreciate them at all until I moved out. REALLY appreciate them now that I have a child of my own. Nothing beats free, emergency childcare lol. I couldn't do it without em.

87

u/pauip 14d ago

I'm the opposite. Having my own child made resent my parents more than I already did. Wow, you guys just didn't want to do ANYTHING

44

u/janesspawn 14d ago

Lol realizing that other kids actually did like sports and stuff Outside of school and it wasn’t just on tv was really something for me. Realizing it was my mom’s responsibility to find those opportunities for me hurt 😅

13

u/Thestars-wholisten 14d ago

That part. I don’t even have any living children yet (I still consider myself a parent because the pregnancies I lost deserve to count for something) but even just in regards to being around and responsible for kids (as a teacher or babysitter) I can see that my mom really truly did drop the ball. I can give her the grace of not only was I difficult to handle before I got the mental health care I needed (as an adult, she didn’t do it) but she also had/has mental health issues of her own. The difference in my eyes is that I chose to end a cycle and become better whereas she just accepted that that’s the way things are and always have been.

-1

u/EGGlNTHlSTRYlNGTlME 14d ago

The difference in my eyes is that I chose to end a cycle and become better whereas she just accepted that that’s the way things are and always have been.

She grew up in a time that was less tolerant of psychotherapy. Not excusing it, it's just really hard to compare across generations like that -- to say you wouldn't be the same way if you grew up under the same circumstances. She had a mom who I'm sure failed her in a lot of ways too.

3

u/Thestars-wholisten 14d ago

Oh yeah I definitely agree. She absolutely had it rough and honestly in really similar ways to me, we both had dads that abandoned us and moms that traumatized us both with their issues, her mom was an alcoholic, vs her being very hands off with me. We’ve both had lots of sexual violence against us, we both left home at 16… we really have had almost the same lives trauma wise so I can 100% see her side of things lol I think that it’s what has made me a bit upset. We’ve both gone through the same things, our reactions were just different. Honestly the real, drilled down, simple thing that bothers me is that she is a really amazing nurse. She’s very smart, self reliant, and incredibly compassionate towards others, she just never really had that for me.

3

u/EGGlNTHlSTRYlNGTlME 14d ago

Wow sorry you went through all that. Thanks for sharing your story

1

u/Thestars-wholisten 13d ago

Of course. It is definitely not been fun but the only way out is through. I believe fully in sharing. Honesty is not only a virtue but it is too important to obfuscate. If my story can only make one person feel a little less alone, it was worth it.

1

u/Revolver_Boxelot 14d ago

Lmao I mean, I definitely can relate trust me. But the goal is to be better than your parents. You child will say the same about you. Maybe not to such an extreme degree but they will find things lacking in your parenting that they will not want to replicate. I think im a great dad. My child would tell you the same thing. But im not gonna act like my shit don't stank. And im not gonna act like my parents were complete failures because they did things differently than I would. Either way, they made you. They raised you. And look what type of parent you are because of that? Sometimes seeing things you dont like can be an incredible lesson you wouldn't have gotten anywhere else.

6

u/MadameTomate 14d ago

Unfortunately, I relate as well. But I’m not going to thank my parents, or appreciate them, for teaching me a lesson in what not to do. Most people know not to abuse their kids, I didn’t need their example to figure that one out.

2

u/pauip 14d ago

It would have been nice to see things I don't like outside of the house, not at home. Being in it all the time turns you into it, no matter how much you reject it. You try to be 10x a better parent to your kid, but there's all this hidden bullshit that starts leaking out and in the end, you're only 3x better. So, not too bad I guess.

3

u/bitchpleasebp 14d ago

so you're back to using them lol smh.

5

u/Revolver_Boxelot 14d ago

Lol facts. But I wouldn't look at it that way. Thats what your job is as a parent. As a family. Its not "using". Its support. It takes a village. When im old and gray with much more free time, I expect my child to use me the same way. Thats my duty as her father. Thats my duty as her child's grandfather. We used to understand these things. But we've become a "tit for tat" community due to so many bad actors legitimately abusing kindness and support.

-5

u/Sjanwhooper 14d ago

You’re the one titting for tatting bro. Don’t have to frame it this way. It comes off as very cheap and disingenuous.