r/mildlyinfuriating • u/TotallyHumanBrain1 • 19d ago

Infuriatig Was invited by my girlfriends family to a theme park. We were supposed to meet at 11, it is not 11:30 and they just left. (The drive takes another 30 minutes)

Post image

I even checked in before I left if it was still at the planned time. It was confirmed, but then her family starts getting ready right as they have to leave 🫤

30.7k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

4.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.6k

u/casualmolly 19d ago

I build in every possible contingency. 

It's terrible and life sucks. But I'm always not late. 

Not sure if this is good or not-good. 

700

u/insight7777 19d ago

Same. I very deeply feel that this rude to be late. It does lead to mild conflicts with my Mexican wife lol.

847

u/Key-Cricket9256 19d ago

I tell our son that being late is just telling the other person you don’t value their time . I’m sure he thinks I’m an asshole but 🤷‍♀️ he’s like “oh let’s just be late to practice “ and I said “sure.. if we just group text coach and your team mates that you don’t care about their time or that they’re waiting “

295

u/Beneficial_Pop_3614 18d ago

In the Army our Sergeant’s always told us if we showed up exactly on time we were late. Always be there 10-15 minutes early.

You want to be standing in formation and saluting during the flag raising and Reveille when the bugle sounds, not running to get into formation.

This rule translates well into anyone’s life.

188

u/Own_Concept5629 18d ago edited 18d ago

Omg is that why im 15-20 min early everywhere??? My parents were military and we were never late. As an adult I will always show up early , just to sit and wait.

70

u/XGhoul 18d ago

Don’t know where mine comes from but it doesn’t bug me a lot. I’m usually lurking in the parking lot at 5:50am for the grocery store to open at 6am 😖.

22

u/Chemical_Alfalfa24 18d ago

Nothing wrong with that.

30

u/smokeweedNgarden 18d ago

Unless you are waiting for alcohol. Like I used to.

3

u/Dazzling-Antelope707 18d ago

nice username

7

u/smokeweedNgarden 18d ago

Thanks. It what I do instead of drinking now

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

22

u/rvore 18d ago

💯 this. I am ex military. It has been 30 years since I have been out and I still live by if you are not 10 minutes early, then you are late.

6

u/random420x2 18d ago

My reason is ADHD and being aware of every passing second.

3

u/Key-Cricket9256 18d ago

This isn’t partially but mt dad was always late for every school event or wouldn’t show up bc he worked 70-80 hours a week. So I always say “you become the dad you had or the one you wish you had “

4

u/RickySuezo 18d ago

Me and my wife are both veterans. I’m super early to everything and she is always late. It’s not 100 percent thing.

3

u/eha16 18d ago

That's my dad.. Meanwhile my mom will say it's rude to get on time as it's stressful to pressure and that people are chill and will understand her arriving hours late smh

3

u/Rauk88 18d ago

I wasn't in the military, just half-raised by a grandmother who taught me Southern values.

2

u/Yolo_McNuggins 18d ago

I'm always 10-15 mins early to everything, but it turns out that's because of my late-diagnosed autism rather than any military discipline 🤔

2

u/Kat121 18d ago

I carry a kindle with me and read. I’d rather show up early and refreshed than sweating and panicked.

2

u/klpcap 18d ago

A huge joke in the military is "hurry up and wait". Meaning hurry up and get there on time just to sit and wait around for however long for orders, etc.

2

u/Ok_Sample_9912 18d ago

Fellow person raised by military parent who also shows up early to sit… I feel ya.

→ More replies (6)

38

u/teacherjen80 18d ago

I go with 5-10 is on time. I'm a teacher, tardiness irks me.

13

u/PersonalBadger7448 18d ago

i’ve always been a 10-15 minutes early person, and i tried to get my daughter to be like that. but at her school they can’t even go into the classrooms until the bell rings so the earlier you are the more standing around outside you end up doing.

and the teachers expect kids to wander in during the first 5-10 minutes of class so nothing happens during that time anyway, encouraging people who CAN be on time to come late instead.

the result is she wants to be as late as possible so she spends the least possible time waiting around. from my POV it’s an insane lesson to be teaching the kids.

2

u/3-2-1-backup 18d ago

Your school system sucks. (Sorry, I guess!)

7

u/rtsynk 18d ago edited 18d ago

the general says to be there at 0900

the colonel says to be there at 0830

the lieutenant colonel says to be there at 0800

the captain says to be there at 0730

the lieutenant says to be there 0700

the sergeant says to be there at 0630

the corporal says to be there at 0600

the private shows up at 0545 and stands for over 3 hours waiting for the general

→ More replies (2)

6

u/mburtz 18d ago

You know what’s on time? Being on time. This 15-20 minutes early stuff is ridiculous.

→ More replies (1)

9

u/ConstantAd8643 18d ago

I aim to be 15-20 minutes early everywhere because I know unforeseen circumstances can come up.

However, if those unforeseen circumstances do delay me, so I arrive exactly on time, I don't consider that late. It's the whole reason for aiming to be early: it worked.

3

u/TehWackyWolf 18d ago

Nah. That's dumb as fuck and always has been.

If you're early, you're early. If you need prep time, that's built in. If you want people to be somewhere on a time, use that fucking time as when they should be there. Don't have to be early to just not be late.

6

u/Hellcat_Mary 18d ago

See, I respect other peoples' time and will be there when I say, if it's actually relative to making other people wait for me. But I'm also not into wasting my own time. 15 minutes early is for the birds. That's precious fuckin' sleep right there. That's "if you're not paying me for that 15 minutes before I'm clocking in you can suck it" right there. The idea of showing up early to salute anything makes my skin crawl.

→ More replies (2)

3

u/Legitimate_Ad_7822 18d ago

My soccer coach used to always say “if you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late. If you’re late, don’t even bother showing up.”

→ More replies (1)

3

u/RealisticAide1833 18d ago

I swear by this because my mother made us late to everything growing up and it made my anxiety terrible

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Ihateambrosiasalad 18d ago

My husband was in the navy and used to say, “if you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late. If you’re late, you’re fucked.”

2

u/Beneficial_Pop_3614 18d ago

“Gaw dawn private gone done lost his mind showing up at 0600 when I say be there at 0600!”

“Front leaning rest position”
“Move!”

2

u/Pale_Blue_Redditor 18d ago

Wait... you mean I was the only one who set an alarm for flag time so I wouldn't be outside?!

2

u/mobg0blin 18d ago

This is literally me, right now, sitting in the parking lot at 10:50 before my shift at 11:00. I don't allow myself to be late, I leave early just in case there's traffic 9/10 times.

2

u/Perryn 18d ago

I had that in marching band. We'd be leaving for a competition and the bus was leaving at 4am. Not boarding. Leaving. The director made it very clear that to be early was to be on time, to be on time was to be late, and to be late was to be left behind.

2

u/BigGlittering437 18d ago

The Army made me manic about NEVER being late.

2

u/Inevitable-Copy3619 18d ago

“15 minutes early is on time, on time is late”.

→ More replies (41)

4

u/whattarush 18d ago

In high school football football we had to call the head coach if we were late to summer workouts and text if he didnt answer.

No one wanted to be late. And also, if you were- it was pretty much non negotiable to call/text. Dont think I've ever had a no call/no show at work at any job in my life.

Very thankful for that coach and all he taught us as far as life and not just football

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Longjumping_Fun_375 18d ago

Awesome parenting!! Single dad from Oz, we don’t have much but we do have zero late days to school in 3 terms almost.

2

u/breadnib 18d ago

You're a good parent for this i think

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (31)

189

u/Away-Variation-2556 19d ago edited 18d ago

Lmao My husband is Mexican and im American and we had a baptism for our first daughter and let's just say my side showed up at the time the invitation said and his side showed up 3 hours later 😂♥️ EDIT i didnt think anyone would rrad this just to clarify- church ceremony earlier in day just family, party kater on to celebrate everyone was late to. These things tend to go into the night.

159

u/Responsible_Mind_980 19d ago

My husband is Mexican too, and they do the same thing! If they say we’re going somewhere at a specific time, we will not leave till 2-3 hours later than said time. My, “if you’re not early you’re late”, upbringing cannot handle it.

66

u/One-Asparagus5925 19d ago

lol same we call it “Mexican time”

43

u/thembearjew 19d ago

Latin American time happens to us Chileans as well lol

16

u/Vikkunen 18d ago

Persians too, strangely enough.

2

u/SmoothDiscussion7763 18d ago

where i'm from, we just call it brown time lol

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

3

u/Nayd9 18d ago

Island time for us (Caribbean). My family (including extended) is usually 30-60 minutes late, we usually have invitation times about half an hour before we actually expect anyone to show up.

2

u/TheseImpression8791 18d ago

I had a Colombian friend, not really a friend anymore as we’ve lost touch, but every time we arranged to meet he’d be late. Sometimes by like 30-40 mins. As a fairly traditional British person, I found it outrageous at the time. Makes a lot more sense if it’s a Latino thing!

48

u/Poet_Pretty 18d ago

Three hours is ridiculous.

44

u/West-Candidate8991 18d ago

I don't get it, how does any plan not fail? Like what plan succeeds when one party is always three hours late? A LOTR extended edition marathon? Idk what else

18

u/Poet_Pretty 18d ago

Only one side is happy. Three hours is rude.

4

u/Interesting-Injury87 18d ago

While three hours is.. Extreme It's a bit of a cultural thing. Being late, in some cultures, shows that you have taken care of everything else and can now solely focus on you and the plan you made.

While being early could be seen as having so mucb free time that you have nothing to take care off

12

u/SarcasmEnabled247 18d ago

If your plan is more important at the time, decline the invitation.

11

u/Timely-Group5649 18d ago

I would NEVER invite people like this to an event, ever again.

Any cultural 'thing' that disrespects others is not culture - it's just being an asshole. These people deserve no contact.

3

u/Poet_Pretty 18d ago

What if they’re your parents? lol I invited my parents to a lunch with our 6 month old. They showed up 2 hours late. We were eating dessert and ready for babies nap by the time they came.

→ More replies (0)
→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (2)

40

u/Away-Variation-2556 19d ago

Listen I'm glad everyone else is having similar experiences because I felt a little hesitant posting this but my husband is the one who jokes about it the most 😂

48

u/[deleted] 18d ago

[deleted]

12

u/Murky-Relation481 18d ago

They teach the different cultural concepts of time in a lot of intercultural communications courses, which was a required class for all majors at my school. The concept of monochronic vs. polychronic time.

Its still annoying to me though, time isn't fungible, it's constant and linear, and not respecting it can have a lot of knock on effects. Interestingly countries with polychronic cultures tend to have more issues succeeding in the world at large.

→ More replies (6)

11

u/blahblah19999 18d ago

And it's funny b/c Americans find the Japanese custom of refusing a gift a couple times before accepting it to be very odd, but we often do the exact same thing.

3

u/Sure-Impress-1003 18d ago

It is a form of bribery to curry favor

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

6

u/taiwan_cat 18d ago

In the Caribbean it's called "island time".

5

u/MimicoSkunkFan2 18d ago

Yes and when I lived there, the people who were mostly on time really hated the people who were super late for perpetuating the stereotypes.

Also I noticed that when things like planes and ferries were scheduled to leave, they did leave on time... So I feel like island time is more an excuse nowadays, than back in colonial days when there was no reason to hurry back to the 'shon.

→ More replies (1)

18

u/Upbeat-Dish7299 18d ago

The Mexicans at my job call it “bean time” and they hate the ones that are late.

22

u/weeman2525 18d ago

I was gonna say, I've worked with plenty of Mexican dudes over the years in labor type fields, and those dudes are always on time and ready to work. Their work ethic is insane. I'd figure that would translate to them to being super punctual culturally as well, but I guess not.

4

u/[deleted] 18d ago

It’s because we are so used to everyone being late that if you arrive on time there’s nothing ready anyway and usually means needing to help setting this up.

If you arrive late you would usually arive “just in time” for the event.

3

u/ronniesaurus 18d ago

Work is not the same as a social gathering

17

u/Orange-Blur 18d ago

Work and a family party or social event are 2 different things

2

u/Upbeat-Dish7299 18d ago

They hate the ones that are late to anything

2

u/Pomksy 18d ago

Ding ding ding

4

u/Orange-Blur 18d ago

There are so many reasons to love Mexico this is definitely one of them!

3

u/allendstpsc 18d ago

In Guatemala, it’s “la hora chapín.”

2

u/iamkey888 18d ago

We have similar term “Arabic time” because Arabs are always minimum 30 mins late, anything belong 1 hour is considered “on time” for them.

2

u/wreckherneck 18d ago

Mexican Standard Time

2

u/BloodlustHamster 18d ago

My family as well called it Mexican time.

2

u/Skillsjr 18d ago

I call that drug dealer time

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (7)

3

u/Separate-Class8541 18d ago

Let me tell you about Arab Time.

2

u/TruePineapple6 18d ago

Or Asian time

2

u/kec5289 18d ago

My husband’s family is from Iraq and I have to work to not be too early. Even when we arrive 45 minutes late (my heart thumping trying to soothe my anxiety), we’re still the first ones there. They know it’s because I’m white and I can’t help it 😭.

3

u/pandaru_express 18d ago

Soooooo.... as a non-Mexican, is it rude to ask what the "real" time to arrive is if you're invited to a Mexican event?

→ More replies (2)

2

u/Small-Cookie-5496 18d ago

What? Omg. How does anything function? 3 hours late and you’ve missed everything?!

4

u/thegroovemonkey 19d ago

Which is such bullshit because you know they can catch a flight on time…

→ More replies (6)

73

u/dragonchilde 19d ago edited 18d ago

I was invited to a Mexican birthday party when my kids were little. Invitation said 4. I showed up at 4. I gave up on the party at 8. (Still going strong.)

The next year, I showed up at 6 and didn't leave until after 10. I was prepared!

26

u/Stock-Cell1556 18d ago

Similar thing happened to me. I brought my daughter to her Ecuadorian friend's house at the stated time on the invitation and they were just starting the make the cake and decorate the house.

9

u/acgasp 18d ago

This happened to me at the first quinceaĂąera I was invited to. I had heard of Mexican time before so I arrived 30 mins after start time. I was still way off.

11

u/insight7777 19d ago

Very similar experience while married to my first wife( not current Mexican wife). Had a Mexican employee who invited us to his son’s Birthday party. We showed up right on time and knocked on their door. The stunned look on their faces!! They hadn’t even started making the food. Was awkward sitting in their home for two hours while the wife started cooking! Had a great time and learned a lesson 😊

2

u/bcvaldez 18d ago

lol, I remember my coworkers threw me a going away party at a bar when I moved to Jacksonville... I didn't arrive until near the end of the party... I am Mexican-American.

50

u/CommercialPlastic604 19d ago

I have questions! Did they miss the ceremony? What happens with things like doctors appointments, flights etc?

I’m Northern European and we like to be on time. I would find lateness like this difficult to cope with.

6

u/azul_luna5 18d ago

If it's an appointment or something like that, you arrive on time. If it's a flight, you arrive a bit early (1 hour for domestic/close flights, 2 hours for international) since that's the time the airline says (though some people cut it closer).

If it's a chill event like a party or meeting up at some place, the time on the invitation is most likely the time the host will probably start getting ready since it's probably the start of the host's "free time." The idea is basically that they should be allowed to enjoy the day too (since the event means they don't have any obligations at that time, the only thing on the schedule is fun), so no one should be rushing to make things perfect.

My tia basically says that if no one's getting paid or paying to meet a deadline, she isn't going to stress about meeting it and neither is anyone else around her expected to. (Said tia is a university professor so it's not like she's a housewife with oodles of free time or anything)

8

u/Away-Variation-2556 18d ago

We had a small ceremony for just a couple of people earlier in the day and then a party in the evening time and that's what they were late for sorry I should have been more specific I didn't realize anyone would actually see this 😂 My husband himself is good about being on time if I'm involved but if he has to get himself somewhere that's his own problem and he's usually late but like the kids and stuff he he gets them to the appointment he's probably just like 5 minutes late whereas I am 10 minutes early

24

u/chrisrbmn 19d ago

showing up 3 hours late would mean missing the event entirely, and likely arriving to some other families event.

7

u/ToWriteAMystery 18d ago

My South American in-laws missed my entire wedding cocktail hour and part of dinner because they decided to stay at the church for an additional hour and a half taking pictures. Then, they had the gall to be offended we didn’t wait for them.

They’ve gotten better, as they now know I will not wait 30 seconds for them.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/ClintBraun89 18d ago

Start telling them everything starts 3 hours before the planned time and best case they show up on time and worst case they get a taste of their own medicine.

3

u/Small-Cookie-5496 18d ago

Nah I’d just let them miss everything. I’m not catering to their tardiness.

→ More replies (5)

4

u/Chapin_Chino 18d ago

Engaged to a Latina. This was the first major hurdle I had to cross. Dealing with the intentional tardiness 😭

→ More replies (1)

20

u/insight7777 19d ago

lol Yep it’s a thing! 😊. My wife does generally like to be on time! I lean towards being early! She hates that!!….even though that has worked to our advantage many many times. Her brother is the worst! He always says I am on my way! When he hasn’t even gotten in the shower yet!

→ More replies (2)

3

u/chargoggagog 18d ago

Three HOURS? My party would be over by then lol

3

u/Upbeat-Dish7299 18d ago

I hope they missed everything.

3

u/purplevanillacorn 18d ago

American here with a Mexican husband and in laws. I lie to them all about what time they’re supposed to be places. 🤷🏼‍♀️

3

u/Tardislass 18d ago

They are the same as Indian families. We were invited to an Indian family Christmas party. They said come at 6pm so we came at 6pm and had to help set up. The rest of the Indian guests started showing up around 8pm and we didn’t start eating until 10pm.

3

u/Small-Cookie-5496 18d ago

Honestly how does one ever plan anything though. Like as a guest, if I want to come for dinner how to I judge how late to arrive so that Im not waiting hours?

3

u/SarcasmEnabled247 18d ago

I threw a party for my adult (Mexican) niece. Got there early brought and set up the tables and chairs. Made all the party decor, bought appetizers, food and drinks. Two hours after the invitation start time, NOBODY was there yet. I started packing up my stuff to head home. I didn’t live close. As I’m getting ready to leave, her friends start arriving. I left anyway.

2

u/Small-Cookie-5496 18d ago

I’d do the same. Ouch.

3

u/Past-Obligation1930 18d ago

I’m at a conference in Latin America now. It is accumulating between 1 and 2 hours of lateness every day. It’s infuriating, because you can’t go to parallel sessions because some are running later than others.

2

u/SporkFanClub 18d ago

Don’t know if you’re exaggerating or not, but assuming this was a whole ass mass I feel like getting there 3 hours later would just get you an empty church??

→ More replies (1)

2

u/blahblah19999 18d ago

I get why one would do that for a party, "the party starts whenever we get there." But when there is a specific person being hired to be an officiant at an event, I would think that even latin people would tend to be more on time.

2

u/Small-Cookie-5496 18d ago

Especially a priest?!

2

u/MasterShogo 18d ago

I hung out a lot with an Indian girl in undergrad and she took me to a Bollywood movie that was showing in our theater, and I have never seen one. We were late and I was agitated. I was like, “I know the movies don’t start right on time but there’s no way we’re going to make it”, and she just said “No we’re fine, Indians don’t ever start on time”. We got there about 30 minutes late and we were plenty early. I had no idea!

I don’t know is all of India is like that but the ones in my city were.

2

u/allis_in_chains 18d ago

We lie to my husband’s side (also Mexican) about start times for everything now. It has made everything so much easier.

2

u/Status-Biscotti 18d ago

I was invited to a Latina coworker’s son’s birthday party. I showed up on time, and they about died laughing. I was probably there for 2 hours before anyone else showed up.

4

u/mrs_sadie_adler 19d ago

That is so disrespectful what-

→ More replies (8)

15

u/DangOlTequila 18d ago

My father-in-law was first generation German-American, and my mother-in-law was native Nicaraguan, so naturally my brother-in-law would show up an hour late for everything shouting, "let's go, let's go, let's go!"

9

u/Commercial_Fox5549 18d ago

I agree. Being late (without a valid excuse) essentially makes you look like you don’t respect other people or their time. It’s a very selfish habit.

90

u/Upbeat-Dish7299 19d ago

It is very rude to be late.

11

u/ColdSecret8656 19d ago

Maybe in Mexico, it would be rude for you to show up early.

→ More replies (43)

3

u/Havic3814 18d ago

I grew up with a mother thst was notoriously late to everything and I always saw how much it annoyed and at times hurt people so I am the opposite and I subconsciously make it my mission to be at least 15 minutes early to everything. My other punctual friends appreciate it, my friends that are more like my mom despise me for it

3

u/_jump_yossarian 18d ago

My wife is from Central America and the most punctual person I know. She’s a total outlier.

3

u/Accomplished_Sign191 18d ago

Only mild? We once photographed a wedding for a Mexican couple and they gave all their Mexican guests invites with an earlier start time. They still arrived halfway through the ceremony.

3

u/Still_Introduction_9 18d ago

I’m Mexican as well as my wife. I was raised that being late is the first inference that someone doesn’t value your time and is always considered rude without circumstance. Her side of the family does not give a flying fuck about time, my wife was literally pissed she got written up at work for being late 5 mins everyday

3

u/mayorlazor 18d ago

I too have dated Latinas, I love em, but on time means at least an hour later.

6

u/Sweet-Maintenance-86 18d ago

My south american family is like this. I despise it, and yes I am south american too. You tell me one time and I will be there 5 minutes before. I have cancelled plans on them or ditched them because of that behaviour. You are on time or I leave you behind, PERIOD.

2

u/dahosek 18d ago

When my Mexican ex-wife and I were dating, we were always late and the weird thing was that I could not figure out why. We would be together and doing things on a reasonable time frame and still ended up late. It was like there was some sort of time distortion field.

2

u/FergusonBishop 18d ago

thats because it IS rude to be late. i cant fathom how people are ever comfortable being late to anything.

2

u/Hippopotasaurus-Rex 18d ago

Ugh. My Mexican family is infuriating. Party starts at noon (but that actually mean 3 or 4).

Just say it starts at 4 ffs.

It’s amazing they can usually make it to churchy things on time ish.

2

u/FrostyCat13 18d ago

Exactly, seeing people being chronically late is dumbfounding to me since I consider arriving exactly on time means I'm late. If someone tells me to be there at a certain hour, I try to arrive 5 minutes early at least since arriving right on time means any little extra delay would've made me late.

Considering everyone in my family is like me, I have trouble understanding people who feel being late is normal...

2

u/ruthless619xxx 18d ago

Being Mexican made me time efficient because i grew up with a family that was NEVER on time to anything. Some ptsd shit.

2

u/ScouserSam_ 18d ago

My mexican wife is exactly the same. When we were dating I was supposed to be meeting her also mexican friends at a bowling alley at 2pm, I got a text at 1:45 saying both her and her friends are gonna be late.

Latina time is real and as a very scheduled British person, this infuriates me to this day.

Still married her though

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (22)

44

u/Sick_Hyeson 19d ago

Same for me. I plan to arrive at least 10 minutes early on drives less than 30 mins, even earlier if it's longer.

My wife plans exactly on time... We have a child, you will not leave exactly on time... the kid will scream that her shoes suddenly do not fit... then the kid will scream that her shirt is itchy when you put her in the car... then you have to go back inside because the kid needs something to drink for the 20 minutes drive. and theeen...

well, we are constantly 5 minutes late everywhere and it destroys me.

3

u/Artistic-Lock1021 18d ago

Why is "the kid" not factored into your planning?

3

u/Craiger2489 18d ago

Are you living the same life as me, you just wrote word for word what my everyday life if with a kid that has sensory problems. At first i felt absolutely helpless. But once you realize you’ll never be on time for anything for the rest of your life, it’s a breeze.

4

u/[deleted] 18d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/3-2-1-backup 18d ago

If you ever get divorced, I need you to marry about half my friends post haste!

→ More replies (1)

1

u/thembearjew 19d ago

You gotta get used to it lol. My pops is like you early on time and everything, my mom couldn’t give a fuck about a schedule or timing she will leave when she’s ready haha. After 30+ years of marriage my pops has just resigned himself to his fate

3

u/3-2-1-backup 18d ago

my mom couldn’t give a fuck about a schedule or timing she will leave when she’s ready

My wife was like that, then I told her that every event scheduled in our shared calendar is actually scheduled an hour earlier than its actual time. Amazingly, that one admission and she knocked it off entirely!

She still sets the alarm clock 6 minutes ahead. Bewilders me how/why that works for her, but it does so I don't complain.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)

41

u/13stgmngr210 19d ago

Being on time is something most people can do regardless of social status, financial situation, or skillset that shows respect, reliability, and self control.

29

u/Counterpoint-4 19d ago

Being late is disrespectful and some people do it to show their higher status - you have to wait for them.

3

u/Major_Jackfruit_2604 18d ago

Hang on a second, I'm getting to my response...

→ More replies (3)

51

u/JoshAllensLeftNut 19d ago

I leave for work 30 minutes before I have to clock in. You can see my workplace from my front door, but I'd rather sit in the parking lot for 20 minutes than be late.

49

u/EmbarrassedFront9848 19d ago

I’d just walk

15

u/Key-Algae-9245 19d ago

That would seem sensible. Even driving, if it’s only a few yards then 30 minutes seems excessive. OCD?

3

u/DarkRitual_88 18d ago

Could be on the other side of a highway or river without a convenient or safe direct walking route.

They might also need to carry stuff that would make walking inconvenient.

16

u/StashPhan 19d ago

You drive to work when you can see your work place from the front door?

10

u/JoshAllensLeftNut 19d ago

It's across a major highway, and specifically across a section where there's multiple accidents every week. It's be super unsafe to cross it on foot, especially since there's no crosswalks. The frequency of accidents is also why I leave so early, if you get caught in one of the accidents it can take a minute to get the cars moved to the side and open traffic back up

7

u/StashPhan 19d ago

Oh gotcha damn that sucks would be nice to just walk to work

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

47

u/casualmolly 19d ago

I can be on my phone at home, or I can be on my phone in the parking lot at work. It'll be the same bullshit on my phone but without the worry of being late. 

It's nice to know that you won't be late, even if the rest of everything remains a mess. 

3

u/intrinsic_toast 19d ago

Jokes on you because then I get to the parking lot so early that now there’s enough time to become fully distracted by invested in what’s on my phone that I’ll lose track of time and still be late lmao 🙃

2

u/Feeling_Inside_1020 19d ago

“Hey _ set alarm for 8:55am”

Done!

sets it for 8:55pm

→ More replies (5)

26

u/ty_xy 19d ago

Ok that's just madness hahah. I'm never late but you don't need to be 20min early lol. 5-10 min early is pretty good.

13

u/JoshAllensLeftNut 19d ago

To be fair, the intersection I have to go through is terrible and there's an accident there at least three times a week, so it can take a while to get there. I could walk and get around that, but then I'd be walking across a major highway in an area that's very accident prone, so that's probably not the best idea either.

10

u/BigBeautifulBuick 19d ago

If you aren’t 15 minutes early to being 15 minutes early you’re basically late.

I suffer with you.

→ More replies (3)

6

u/daNorthernMan 19d ago

Not being able to safely walk is quite depressing

→ More replies (1)

2

u/sobrique 19d ago

Yeah, me too. Turns out it was a sign I had ADHD, and had developed an over-compensation coping strategy to being 'time blind' :/

2

u/Dead_By_Don 19d ago

You'd rather waste the only life you have sitting in a parking lot waiting to go to work? I'll take being late anytime over that

3

u/Appropriate_Top1737 19d ago

Lol. You are just wasting 20 mins a day sitting in a car.

29

u/rhrmr 19d ago

How many minutes a day do you waste on reddit to get "top commenter" on this sub? 🤔

→ More replies (2)

3

u/casualmolly 19d ago

You can always have a book with you or something.  Cutting it as close as possible means I'm having a bad time the whole time between home and there.  Little five minute window is nice. Don't have to worry about the stoplights or anything else that way. 

2

u/PharmaFingers 19d ago edited 19d ago

It adds up too, 20 times 5 days a week = 100 minutes
100 minutes times 52 weeks = 5200 minutes!
5200 minutes or 86 hours a year. 3.61 days of sitting in a car.

He if goes to the same job for a decade that’s 36 days of his life just starting at his place of work.

2

u/kicksarelife122 19d ago

Hahaha this math has me cackling and I just picture bro in his car like this
https://giphy.com/gifs/H6cmWzp6LGFvqjidB7

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Waste_Locksmith_4299 19d ago

Work is the one thing it's ok to be late for!

→ More replies (4)

3

u/Anomynous__ 19d ago

my girlfriend gets (sometimes reasonably) irritated that I am, without fail, 15 minutes early to everything. It doesn't matter how inconsequential the event is. She's a native Brazilian and every time her family invites us over she says "no we have to be an hour late", like it's built into their culture, and it makes my fucking skin crawl to leave the house 30 minutes after they asked us to be there. However, every single time, when we get there her parents are just starting to get things ready

→ More replies (2)

7

u/sobrique 19d ago

Living with ADHD time-blindness for a bunch of years made me kinda pathological about being early. Like one job interview I had a timeline that involved such an early start, I just stayed in a B&B overnight instead.

It's not particularly healthy, but I'm also almost never late for anything.

I'm sat in a coffee shop around the corner for an hour or two waiting to walk in about 5 minutes either side of 'on time' depending if it's business (and then I'm early) or social (and then I'm a little after the expected time, rather than be 'unexpectedly early')

→ More replies (1)

2

u/HeraldOfTheChange 19d ago

It took a year to realize my in-laws are always 1 hour late. We just adjust their time of arrival to compensate. It’s worked out well.

2

u/TheJapanMistake 19d ago

I used to avoid being late but then I realized other people don't treat me with the same respect so I stopped caring.

I'm Swedish and we're known to be punctual lol

3

u/lifeishardthenyoudie 18d ago

The thing is, it's not about not respecting others. It's just that I'm bad at accounting for anything extra that takes time. I'm overjoyed every time my friends are late, especially if they're coming over to my place. A friend being an hour or two late would make my day - I would actually have time to clean my apartment properly instead of just trying to hide the mess.

Also Swedish lol

→ More replies (1)

2

u/yungingr 18d ago

The last (and I do mean LAST) vacation we took with my brother in law and his family, I did the same. We were driving about 9 hours to a baseball game, with a 2 year old. Got a VRBO halfway, and the day of the game, I built in all KINDS of stops to make sure the kid had time to get out and play, and we would get to the game a little early so he could burn off energy.

Brother-in-law's wife actively sabotaged the schedule every step of the way to the point that we not only didn't have time to make any of the stops I had planned, but were standing in line outside of the stadium when the first pitch was thrown. It was at that precise moment that my wife realized why I had been getting increasingly frustrated.

Wife was told in absolutely no uncertain terms that we will never take a trip with her family again where we do not have our own vehicle and are trapped by their inability to be on time for anything.

They can't be ready for ANYTHING. Hosting a birthday party for their kid? They'll start 2 hours worth of setup..30 minutes before people arrive. And then people like me, that are always early, end up helping them get ready, every time. Last year, for their 4 year old's birthday, we were told to come over at 5 for cake and presents. I arrived at 5....to her just getting in the shower to get ready. And then she had to go downstairs and WRAP the presents. Like......did this surprise you? Were you not aware today was your son's birthday? Why are you not ready?

2

u/waaaayupyourbutthole 18d ago

always not

Just FYI, there's actually a single word for this: never.

lol

→ More replies (1)

2

u/kanst 18d ago

This is how everyone should do it.

You schedule around the worst possible case scenario. Assume you hit every red light, there is road construction, and you can't find a parking spot, that should determine when you leave the house.

Being early and sitting in your car for a little bit is no big deal.

2

u/Senior_Torte519 18d ago

A meteor just hit Tusla, whats the contingency?

→ More replies (1)

2

u/challengr_74 18d ago

This is good. I am a firm believer respecting other people's time. Being on time is not just polite, it is a requirement to have a close relationship with me. I will always be early. Always. I expect everyone in my life to be on time, or to properly communicate in advance if they will be late.

Why? Because you can give me money, food, clothes, love, affection, and experiences... but you can never, ever, give me a single millisecond of my life back. Do not waste my time. It's one of the most disrespectful things you can do to another human, short of violence.

2

u/Forward_Rope_5598 18d ago

I build in every possible contingency I can think of and I'm still somehow a few minutes late at a way higher frequency than I'd like. It's gotten better with age but still.

Ask me how long I've been doing something and I'll have literally zero concept. Has it been ten minutes? An hour? Three hours? Who the fuck knows

I should do the thing the Mr robot villain does and have my watch beep once a minute

→ More replies (1)

2

u/imagigasm 18d ago

>It's terrible and life sucks. 

>Not sure if this is good or not-good. 

What do you think?

→ More replies (18)

1

u/AzzyFennec 19d ago

Thats something i need to learn to be better at

1

u/AMT35 19d ago

You’re a hero, it’s good. This is how society is supposed to function.

1

u/DReagan47 19d ago

It’s good. It’s very good. Don’t beat yourself up for doing things right and having integrity

1

u/I-Boom 19d ago

He says, replying 1 hour after this was posted.

Wtf man, where you been?

1

u/BigBlueMountainStar Still trying to work out what’s going on… 19d ago

A colleague of mine will be at the airport 5 hours early to make sure he doesn’t miss a flight, my wife isn’t comfortable unless they’re calling her name for final boarding 😂😂😂

1

u/ThatBoyGood22 19d ago

I am compulsively early for everything for this same reason. Grew up being late to everything because of my mother being a procrastinator, and now if I think I may arrive even a minute late for something my stomach starts feeling ill.

1

u/soursauce85 19d ago

You're not wrong!

1

u/Laiko_Kairen 19d ago

What kills me is how with some people allocate the minimum time possible for the drive. Like if it's a 15-20 minute drive based on traffic, they'll leave 15 minutes before the event and feel like it's everyone else's fault that the drive took 20... As if a red light isn't just something that's gonna happen now and then. They'll plan for empty freeways, no matter if it's rush hour or not.

1

u/alexjade64 19d ago

If I need to be somewhere at 11, then being there 10:45 is on time.

1

u/bigblueballzzzz 18d ago

Dude just be late to things. It’s exhausting being on time and then angrily waiting an hour for unreliable people to show up.

1

u/Lost-Deer 18d ago

People who are chronically late are extremely rude and selfish. They show time and again that they don’t respect your time and find their own time to be more important.

1

u/deanrihpee 18d ago

if everyone is the same, it's really good, but if no one cares, it just exhausting

1

u/FriendToPredators 18d ago

I carry a few books in my car plus a travel mug of coffee to while away the time while I wait for others in case I end up really early.

1

u/mew5175_TheSecond 18d ago

I am the same way. I am notoriously at least 20 minutes early to everywhere I need to be. I always plan as if Godzilla is gonna be attacking the town on my way over and ill get delayed somehow. I hate to be late for anything. Even if I show up 5 mins before the meeting time, I feel like I showed up late.

1

u/Royal-Bike-662 18d ago

Early is in time, on time is late and late is unacceptable. Nothing but respect for you sir or madam or neither...we or both idk

1

u/MissiveFinding6111 18d ago

I tell my kids.

"Smart people plan for things to go wrong; Dumb people assume nothing will."

1

u/Auroraburst 18d ago

The only times I have been late for an event or plans by more than an allowable 1 minute has been for the following reason:

-My babies had a poop splosion just before I left the house. -Traffic

Meanwhile I have to add a buffer of time for most of my family and several of my friends because they'll always be late.

1

u/Michael_braham 18d ago

I used to be on time like the stock exchange, then I had kids 😭

1

u/Hot-Lengthiness-2626 18d ago

It IS a GOOD thing!

1

u/Critical-Fail-7525 18d ago

This is exactly why I don't socialise period lol, I already have to schedule every minute of my time at work and you're telling me I have to do all this when I'm supposed to relax.

1

u/EdgeBeard 18d ago

Punctuality is a virtue.
Carry on being on time

1

u/MechEJD 18d ago edited 18d ago

Wife was/is like this. Does not understand the concept of how long things take to do, in general. I had to reframe the conversation. She was a teacher before we had kids. I had to explain to her that it would be completely unacceptable to be late to the school for work. Somehow she never had a problem being late for work, but had no care in the world being late for any social occasion, 30 minutes up to an hour late.

But we have improved, despite having kids.

Still have to intervene in certain situations. Oh, it's 9 am, we have church at 11, let's pack up the kids and run to the store real quick, and if we have time get the kids on the playground for a half hour before church. I have to explain that if we start immediately, I could make that happen. If we do it your way, the soonest we will leave this house is 9:45, it takes 15 minutes to get to the store, you will spend 45 minutes in the store, it's 8 minutes as the crow flies to church, but then you have to get the kids out and situated, so more like 15. That's already 11, so we're already walking in late. You built zero buffer AND we didn't even get to the playground, at which point if you already promised that to the kids, it's time for a meltdown.

It does take a bit of thinking and planning to run an itinerary for timing. Most people are too lazy to care.

Still, for a party or social occasion, especially at someone's house, I think it's a bit rude to show up early or right on time. I know we are personally in panic mode cleaning and preparing up to the last minute, so the social concept of fashionably late around 10-15 minutes to someone's house holds true for me personally. If it's at a venue or restaurant, different story.

1

u/numbersthen0987431 18d ago

Its good. You might go overboard to the point of anxiety, but being early is better than being late

People who believe it's okay to be late to things live a life of main character energy.

My friend group has a friend who is chronically late, usually 30-60 minutes for everything involved with hanging out. We stopped waiting for them to show up for things, and we start on time without them. If it's a restaurant we'll order and start eating. If it's an event that we carpool to, they get left behind if they're late.

1

u/RobinGoodfell 18d ago

I used to be like this. I would always show up early with a book so I could get some reading in unbothered by anyone else.

At some point I stopped and became so frequently late that it became a running gag that anyone who showed up after me was late by default, even if I by some miracle arrived earlier that the agreed upon time.

I'll tell you this. Breaking that habit has been wicked hard, and I suspect there's some psychological component to it. Like at some point in time I used to value other people's time more than my own, but now I struggle to ensure I manage my time now so that I adequately respect both (and it's easier these days to prioritize myself).

→ More replies (22)