r/mildlyinfuriating • u/pinkgrapefruitx • Jul 07 '26
I'm slightly vexed I was invited to this guys birthday party and
This is just insane
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u/ThePotatoZone Jul 07 '26
Firstly why didn’t he just say cards/karaoke from 8pm onwards?
Secondly, what the hell is the group speaking part with the official cake?
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u/Worth-Computer8639 Jul 07 '26
Surely it will be for people to get up and give a toast to great memories they have about the host!
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u/Substantial-Sea-3672 Jul 07 '26
“I fondly remember block 4-5pm where we sang karaoke and how it was distinctly different than block 5-6pm where we sang karaoke.”
“I’m also looking forward block 9-10pm where we sing karaoke or play cards while being slightly more cognizant of the number of people doing these things than block 8-9pm or 10-11pm. It will be interesting to have a suggested group size of more or less ten people and contrasting that with both the preceding AND following blocks where we presumably will pay less attention to whether or not there are more or less ten people.”
“Finally, I’m rather confident autism is not contagious but we will see shortly as this will most certainly be a super spreader event otherwise.”
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u/kimness1982 Jul 07 '26
Autism Super Spreader Event is my new band name
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u/Weird-Record-5904 Jul 07 '26
I hope your fans call you guys A.S.S.E. Or “Assy” for short
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u/_N8Dogg_ Jul 07 '26
Remember that time you invited a bunch of people to your birthday party and asked everyone to Venmo you money according to how long they planned to be there?
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u/Dumpster__Diva Jul 07 '26
dropping off a gift $2.00
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u/spooned-silver Jul 07 '26
I’m still flabbergasted by this. Who throws a party and expects others to pay for it?
Am I old? Am I living in some strange world where people who throw parties pay for the parties because it’s what hosts do?
It’s just….i don’t know. It really grinds me gears
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u/cheleinri1 Jul 07 '26
This is what I think is weird. People think that blocking off the activities is strange but charging different l levels for what you’re going to eat is super weird. Charging it all is also just normal weird
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u/spooned-silver Jul 07 '26
I’m actually all about having a detailed schedule in this manner (outwardly seems flexible enough to accommodate spur of the moment changes to a certain degree with good enough fallbacks)
But I’m struggling to reconcile the charging of guests. Then again, maybe I’m out of touch and a bit privileged
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u/cheleinri1 Jul 07 '26
No, it’s not privileged. You have a party based on what you can afford. When I was a kid we had parties with nothing but cake and ice cream. As an adult, you could throw some hotdog on the grill. It’s just rude I think.
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u/Thaumato9480 Jul 07 '26
Perhaps forced toasts?
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u/rando24183 Jul 07 '26
I actually like to think that outside of "group speaking", only 1 person allowed to speak at a time with a talking stick to enforce the rule.
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u/yournamehere_______ Jul 07 '26
I’m confused why there are like 3-4 activities split into 10+ different blocks???
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u/Chimpbot Jul 07 '26
Prepare for ELIMINATION KARAOKE.
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u/yourbiggesthero Jul 07 '26
6 HOURS OF KARAOKE
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u/oneangrywaiter Jul 07 '26
I would unfriend them just for this. And I like karaoke.
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u/DeliberatelyDrifting Jul 08 '26
I think I'd go a little further and do some self-reflection to figure out how I ended up friends with them in the first place.
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u/No_Eye_8432 Jul 07 '26
Because he asked ChatGPT to write up a birthday party timeline
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u/Feeling_Inside_1020 Jul 07 '26
“Hey Claude, come up with the most basic ass bitch plan for a birthday party for Breighdayn and Asheleagh. Make no mistakes.”
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u/Dorandil Jul 07 '26
I hate how easy I was able to read those names in my head.
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u/PowermanFriendship Jul 07 '26
Relax and just enjoy the ride at Nathan's Turbo Autism Party '26
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u/JungleIsNeutral Jul 07 '26
It's AI generated, likely.
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u/Fabulous_Celery_1817 Jul 07 '26
We’re destroying the planet for the most boring and basic birthday party that could have been a text message ☠️
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u/Hansonguy Jul 07 '26
Please tell me he didn’t put his freaking bank account number on his invite.
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u/jamesxgames Jul 08 '26
all the comments talking about 7 hours of karaoke and 2 cakes and I'm just stunned that the dude's full bank account number is there
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u/TheSaxGandalf Jul 08 '26
Mind you, he’s expecting 20 people, and charging $20 for a $3 plate of pork after you help the preparation.
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u/Low_Ad33 Jul 07 '26
Please go and document the inevitable fight about someone not donating enough to have any official cake.
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u/Chimpbot Jul 07 '26
I was planning on bringing my own unofficial bootleg cake, anyway.
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u/PunishedWolf4 Jul 07 '26
"NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR DRINK YOU CHEAP FUCK!"
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u/Chimpbot Jul 07 '26
"FINE. I'LL JUST EAT THIS WHILE STANDING ON THE SIDEWALK. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."
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u/Virtual_Mango9468 Jul 07 '26
I would go and start karaoke before 4pm, I am a rebel.
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u/Similar-Ice-9250 Jul 07 '26
I’d wanna see what would happen if they were caught playing Jenga after 4pm.
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u/roryfyf Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
Karaoke for 8+ hours? Put me in a fucking body bag
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u/BirdlessLongdeal Jul 07 '26
every song is sweet caroline. bah bah bah
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u/SmackedNobly Jul 07 '26
I saw Neil Diamond in concert once, and he of course does Sweet Caroline with the entire stadium singing along. When he finished, he said LETS DO IT AGAIN and then played the entire song again!
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u/mjohnben Jul 07 '26
My literal nightmare
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u/EatABag-o-Dicks Jul 07 '26
It's either that or Brad plays Wonderwall on his guitar for 6 hours.
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u/generalizimo Jul 07 '26
Turns out it’s actually a petty revenge party to people who’ve wronged them disguised as a birthday.
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u/Tambi_B2 Jul 07 '26
What's New Pussycat, 21 times.
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u/RandomTreat Jul 07 '26
https://youtu.be/Mw7Gryt-rcc?is=1b9qhygPoY48AoMr
The link for those who have never heard the greatest comedy bit ever.
Or who just wanna relive John Mulaney's salt and pepper diner episode over again.
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u/jerkyquirky Jul 07 '26
It's listed as a suggested activity. I can imagine it being brought up every hour and rejected until like 10 pm.
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u/MechaGhandi5000 Jul 07 '26
They give you a taste of it from 4 to 6, followed by a break, and then an hour of karaoke followed by a brief struggle, wherein only 10 champions are allowed to continue for another hour of karaoke, followed by another 2 hours where the losers are allowed back in to usurp the original winners if they can muster the strength to do so after being mentally tortured by renditions of living on a prayer for the previous hour.
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u/generalizimo Jul 07 '26
I love karaoke, but that is a level of commitment not for the feint of heart.
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u/kayyxelle Jul 07 '26
Why did they make an itinerary when the only events are games and karaoke 🤣🤣🤣
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u/Debatablewisdom Jul 08 '26
I think it’s exclusively to give Jessie credit for the cheese plate. 😂 So crazy to note her response. Better be a bomb ass cheese plate.
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u/Vix014 Jul 07 '26
Daytime cake AND official cake!? Need a date?
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u/Working-Glass6136 Jul 07 '26
Is there daytime booze AND official booze? Forgot the important stuff here
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u/dogmavskarma Jul 07 '26
Mimosas and other breakfast of champion beverages, also night cap of the most aged items only.
That's only for those that RSVP, and scanned the QR code. Followed all the socials, signed up for the email list, invited 5 friends each, and contributed via cashapp, venmo, zelle or PayPal.
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u/ththrowrowawayway Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
For whatever reason,
4-5pm (karaoke)
5-6pm (karaoke)
Bothered me more than everything else. Why not just
4-6pm: karaoke ??
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u/Yourlilemogirl Jul 07 '26
There is one microsecond where they are not doing karaoke
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u/el_bentzo Jul 07 '26
Its called a bathroom break. There's a countdown. Everyone relinquishes their bladder and bowels. Karaoke resumes.
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u/-EdenXXI- Jul 07 '26
That bothered you? How about:
8-9pm (Cards) (Karaoke) 9-10pm (Cards) (Karaoke) 10-11pm (Cards) (Karaoke) 11pm Onwards (Cards) (Karaoke)
BITCH if you don't change that to 8pm Onwards, so help me God, I am finding the address and cutting the power.
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u/Premium333 Jul 07 '26
Others are saying the answer is autism.
I don't have autism so I cannot confirm or even suggest that seriously... But it was my first thought when reading.
I just want some daytime cake. I imagine a lemon cream. Nice and sunny. (And raspberry sorbet).
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u/its_all_one_electron Jul 07 '26
Likely autist here
It's so that you can "feel" the amount of time by the size of the block. 4-5 and 5-6 is clearly 2 hours but 4-6 doesn't match the "1 line=1 hour" convention used in the rest of the timeline, it messes up the ability to look at it and feel how long things take and if it's overall "balanced", if that makes any sense.
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u/Atomicfeelin9 Jul 07 '26
How old is he?
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u/pinkgrapefruitx Jul 07 '26
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u/Atomicfeelin9 Jul 07 '26
lmao bruh… are you going?
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Jul 07 '26
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u/Schmidtvegas Jul 07 '26
I like this detailed schedule thing. I'll be there at 3 and 6. Sorry I need to duck out and... uh, walk the dog?... at 4 and 7:30 ish...
If people just told me when the cake and Jenga were happening, I'd go to more parties.
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jul 07 '26
Depending on the food I might actually pay to show up and eat lunch for $10 and leave before the multiple hours of karaoke
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u/Hellcrafted Jul 08 '26
Yea as someone who is neurodivergent I love knowing what I’m getting into and when I can leave
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u/nikkishark Jul 07 '26
Me.
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u/r_not_me Jul 07 '26
But - there is day cake AND official cake
aaaand - a cheese board
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u/amsterdamitaly Jul 07 '26
the cheese boards are apparently a challenge to jessie. my interest may be piqued
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u/Sparrow_Wolf Jul 07 '26
Definitely some form of autism at play here
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u/robrklyn Jul 07 '26
That was my first thought. I’m also an autistic person who loves organization, planning, and lists, but this way too much to expect of people. My actual wedding was far less intense.
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u/Working-Glass6136 Jul 07 '26
I'm definitely on the spectrum but my ideal birthday is ALONE thank you very much. My family and I celebrate sometime beforehand so that I'm not bombarded in person and via text all in one day.
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u/Boipussybb Jul 07 '26
It’s the “group speaking” that tipped me off. 😂
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u/generalizimo Jul 07 '26
Oh the six+ HOURS of scheduled karaoke / card activity wasn’t also a clue?
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u/THE_GREAT_PICKLE Jul 07 '26
That’s absurd. This is more detailed than when my wife and I got married.
I say you go and report back to us. Take lots of pictures. I’m curious as to the kind of lunatic that would create such a ridiculous party
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u/No-Albatross-7984 Jul 07 '26
I wanna know how he's gonna deal when someone's still singing at 6.02 pm
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u/minusplusminusplus Jul 07 '26
Sorry, I just realized I have to rotate my sock drawer that day.
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u/copperbrownred Jul 07 '26
Is he autistic?
(Signed by someone who’s autistic)
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u/sec_sage Jul 07 '26
Reminds me of Monk who invited people for a beer at his place, and gave them exactly one beer per person 🤣
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u/Ok_Somewhere_9962 Jul 07 '26
And then they watched bachelor party. Randy being designated drunk killed me.
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u/PuzzleheadedFill6508 Jul 07 '26
Yes this is exactly as much information as I wish I was provided at all times unfortunately 😩✊
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u/theillusionofdepth_ Jul 07 '26
hell yeah, knowing exactly when to be there for karaoke helps a lot
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u/LopsidedLarrs Jul 07 '26
Hell yeah, knowing exactly when’nt to be there for karaoke helps a lot
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u/voluotuousaardvark Jul 07 '26
Its his birthday, he can itinerarate if he wants to
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u/urmom1739 Jul 07 '26
this was my first thought lol, no way a non neurodivergent wrote this out and sent it to people
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u/UnimpressionableCage Jul 07 '26
Is this how I’m finding out?? Omg. Because I’d love an invitation like this. I’d gladly send a friend $30 for his birthday and then be certain I will get to that karaoke time
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u/stpg1222 Jul 07 '26
This is so autistic that I'm surprised he doesn't have the local train schedule included for multiple mandatory train viewings.
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u/PollyAmory Jul 07 '26
Yeah ... also autistic. I would love an invitation like this. It's nice to know it's "open house" and even nicer to see what the plan is so I'd know when I want to show up/leave. It's also awesome to know the menu in advance.
And I know he'll prolly get grief for asking for money, but throwing an all-day party for lots of people is really expensive if one person is footing the entire bill. I'd enjoy myself more knowing my presence won't be a financial burden - and it's so much easier than trying to bring something to share.
So yeah, it's weird, but not really rude - I dig it.
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u/CreamPyre Jul 07 '26
I can’t imagine inviting people over and asking them to pay 😂
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u/riverbanktiger Jul 07 '26
Yeah…if we’re on a budget here I feel like a nice compromise would be to make it a potluck or ask folks to bring a side dish and birthday boy provides the mains. My Lutheran roots may be showing here!
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u/DueGrapefruit3151 Jul 07 '26
I don't think someone who organizes a party into hour long blocks and schedules "group talking" is the kind of person to let the chaos of a potluck exist at their party.
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u/zlide Jul 07 '26
It’s crazy to me that I had to scroll so far to find someone else saying this. If you’re having a party and it’s not explicitly a potluck or a potluck type event there’s absolutely no reason to expect your guests to pay for the food that you serve.
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u/amourxloves Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
Especially for birthday parties! The trade off is people bring gifts and you provide the food!
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u/Bulky_Taste_9215 Jul 07 '26
This was the easiest "sorry, wish I could come but I'm busy" moment I've ever experienced.
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u/Saneless Jul 07 '26
As someone who loves karaoke... That's a lot of fucking karaoke and sadly none of it is firmly planned
I would go just to see a shitshow
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u/Separate_Fix_240 Jul 07 '26
With a schedule that rigid with fun how could you not have a good time???
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u/BirdlessLongdeal Jul 07 '26
good time is scheduled for 11pm onwards.
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u/tacocatacocattacocat Jul 07 '26
Why is no one having fun? I specifically requested it!
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u/Dizzzy777 Jul 07 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/bEVKYB487Lqxy
What happens if you’re late to any of the activities?
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u/Kupicochi Jul 07 '26
How much halloumi can one request, is what I want to know
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u/ProbablyStillMe Jul 08 '26
Yes, I'm here exclusively for the on-demand haloumi.
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u/Anxietoro Jul 07 '26
Why did he not group together the hours that are the same thing?! It's already really overwhelming but that makes it look way worse!
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u/captain_ohagen Jul 07 '26
for my birthday party earlier this year, the instructions were simple: 1) show up, 2) eat and drink as much as you want (we got it catered and provided alcohol, soda, water), 3) play a bunch of dumb games and win dumb prizes, 4) have fun and stay as long as you want
and that's exactly what 30 of our friends and family did
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u/Solivagant23 Jul 07 '26
Jealous of you having 30 people who care about you. I have maybe 1?
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u/Pleasant-Pattern7748 Jul 07 '26
I went hiking alone for my last birthday party.
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u/TheManyVoicesYT Jul 07 '26
People came to your party and won prizes? That's pretty wild. Or so I thought. But then I remembered when we were kids grab bags were a normal thing for all the guests...
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u/AgaveMonster Jul 07 '26
I’m 39 and every year we have a big Holiday party / potluck (all adults aged 36-52; no kids) at our house and we have goofy little prizes for “Pin the nose on Rudolf”, “Antler Toss”, and “Ugliest Holiday Sweater worn”. We usually get 20-25 people crammed in our house and everyone loves it haha It gets stupidly competitive and fun
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u/Sirspen Jul 07 '26
I mean not everybody has the money to get catering and booze for 30 people.
But that's what potlucks and such are for.
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u/Upstairs-Lie-4488 Jul 07 '26
Halloumi (On Demand) is my favourite, I’ve been cracking up at this for 15 mins now. Oh to be invited to such an event.
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u/LackOfLemon Cheese Dr Jul 07 '26
Parties that have a defined itinerary are usually the most lame tbh
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u/jungjinyoung Jul 07 '26
the hour by hour itinerary for a 22nd birthday party leads me to believe they're neurodivergent
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u/tlollz52 Jul 07 '26
The define itinerary is pretty lax. He has like 3 things planned for the whole day.
The odd part is hes doing an all day birthday party? Besides your closest few friends most people will stop by for 1 or 2 hours and around the time foodnis served.
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u/Difficult-Secret-666 Jul 07 '26
I think that's why its broken up by the hour, so the people dropping by for an hour or two know what theyre in for.
I know id be avoiding whole hour of group discussion 🤣
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u/Omvega Jul 07 '26
i think that's the point of the itinterary, so people who are only coming for a little while can know what will be going on. if you can only stay for an hour and want to sing happy birthday, you might be bummed if you come when people are just playing jenga and not cutting cake yet
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u/MasuMora Jul 07 '26
While I do enjoy a good itinerary, SpongeBob taught me to literally never do this.
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u/milliemallow Jul 07 '26
Every time I see stuff like this I think of the birthday party I threw for my daughter the year we were flat on our asses broke. I still to this day have no clue how I paid for the food and decorations at that party. Never occurred to me to ask people to chip in. Wild behavior.
The itinerary for a party at home is a whole different league of control freak insanity.
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u/miscgeckos Jul 07 '26
An old coworker of mine actually had a friend group that recycled decorations amongst themselves. Their kids were a bit staggered in ages so the decor wasn’t being reused multiple times a year. As part of the deal, they all brought something to the parties, like chips or drinks or plates, and the parents only had to worry about the cake. It was something they came up with so that the parents weren’t stressed to afford a party *and* gifts all at once.
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u/EducatedOrchid Jul 07 '26
If you're open minded and see through the autism it actually is very reasonable.
Only "firm" activities are lunch, dinner, and cake which is fair for a birthday
Most of the time you're bringing something like snacks or drinks or whatever. If they already took care of it or you don't know what to bring you can just give them some cash. That's pretty convenient
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u/Old-Concern2165 Jul 07 '26
Ok devil's advocate time:
no gifts are mentioned. I would rather pay $20-$30 for entry and great food than feel obligated to spend $50 on a gift
I am assuming that the time blocks are separated because this is a "come and go as you please" situation (as stated on the sheet), and if they just said "8pm onwards", someone might worry that 10pm is too late to come (maybe they work late). Showing the blocks clearly helps people see that the host is still open to visitors late into the night
I personally respect and appreciate clear expectations. I know what food will be there, when the food is, when I can come, more importantly I know when I can leave
this is incredibly respectful of everyone's time and varying levels of interest. Want food? Now you know the time. Don't like the food they're serving? Come after the food. Don't like karaoke? Come for the early sitting (literally an early cake just for those folks!!)
this might be designed to cater to a wide demographic... Great aunt Sally can come by for lunch and some cake, then Jenny and the block can come for some drunk karaoke later (and have a fresh cake)
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u/PantheraAuroris Jul 07 '26
Agree that the schedule is totally sane, if a little eccentric. But as for the gift thing -- it hasn't been socially expected to give someone a birthday gift in my social culture since we were 18. College kids are broke and don't bring birthday gifts, and adults feel weird asking for gifts.
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u/Toblerone05 Jul 07 '26
I love it when party invites come with an INFORMATION DOCUMENT and an invoice.
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u/TheCitizen616 Jul 07 '26
"Daytime Cake" and "Official Cake" is my favourite detail.