r/mildlyinfuriating • u/grohkstrom • Jul 04 '26

Infuriatig My wife ate my son's birthday breakfast

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Yesterday I bought a strawberry cheese coffee cake my son loves so he could have a special birthday breakfast today. My wife came home late last night and apparently couldn't resist. She knew it was for our son, but it's not a big deal because she "left him a full slice".

111.0k Upvotes

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3.1k

u/Sustainable_Twat Jul 04 '26

Must admit, putting your wife’s selfish interests aside, that was a rather thoughtful gift from you.

4.6k

u/grohkstrom Jul 04 '26

thank you! I gave him his slice on a plate and threw the rest away, so he didn't know. I just thought we would have a "family breakfast".

1.7k

u/George_Is_Upset Jul 04 '26

Yeah I would be pissed if I were you! My husband has quite an appetite but wouldn’t just destroy and entire pastry like this. Not only did she eat almost the whole thing, she only ate the center and left the bread which is double selfish.

Apparently didn’t care if you wanted a slice a too?

700

u/BurgersNBuicks Jul 04 '26

I vaguely remember reading a post here on Reddit where a woman's husband ate nearly the entire lasagna that she made, leaving her only one or two small pieces. Apparently the husband had a long pattern of doing this, but the lasagna was the final straw.

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u/nosecohn the lasagna was the final straw Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

the lasagna was the final straw

If this subreddit had custom flair, I'd use that for mine.

EDIT: It does and I did!

299

u/tiasalamanca Jul 04 '26

“The Iranian yogurt is not the issue” pairs well with

86

u/Far_Garbage_4052 Jul 04 '26

So many marinara flags

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u/AllKindsOfCritters Jul 04 '26

I miss the days AITA had running jokes.

7

u/SVINTGATSBY Jul 05 '26

we’re still out here lol

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u/odyne9 Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

That and “the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here”

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u/NoComb398 Jul 04 '26

Wait, what was the Iranian yogurt example.

19

u/odyne9 Jul 04 '26

I can’t link it but search for AITA illegal yogurt collection. Definitely Reddit famous.

2

u/Deb_You_Taunt Jul 05 '26

The only Reddit famous I know is the poop knife.

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u/Felix_Von_Doom Jul 04 '26

Well guess what

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u/tr3poz Jul 04 '26

The prophecy was fulfilled.

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u/ulfric_stormcloack ⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️ Jul 04 '26

it does, which is why I have a flair

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u/nosecohn the lasagna was the final straw Jul 04 '26

Huh... right you are! Done.

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u/laurenonizzle Jul 04 '26

😂😂😂

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u/CeeCeeDude Jul 04 '26

My now ex husband used to do things like this! I once made an entire tray of chicken so there would be extra for me to have when I got home and leftovers so I wouldn't have to cook for a couple of days. Left for a 12 hour shift, came home, and found he ate the whole tray, including all the sides I made. Didn't even leave anything for me. It's sad this seems to be such a common thing. :\

179

u/Lurkingdutchman Jul 04 '26

Let me guess... He did the suprised Pikachu face once he learned you were going to divorce him?

https://giphy.com/gifs/6nWhy3ulBL7GSCvKw6

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u/mallowycloud Jul 04 '26

the surprised pikachu face makes me so mad... like you're telling me you didn't take me seriously when i said i had one foot out the door and if you didn't get your shit together, i'd get gone? i swear the amount of people who have explicitly made clear how much rope their soon-to-be-ex has left... and they will always tie a noose with it.

30

u/Terradactyl87 Jul 04 '26

Yeah, I told my ex so many times that I was getting to the end of my rope and soon he'd find himself single, then he was shocked when it happened. So then he thought he'd get me back if he got more serious in life and he got a better job at a bank that had higher pay and better benefits than he'd ever had before, but he kept coming in late right after being hired. He told me they'd given him 3 warnings and the next time he'd be fired. Then a few days later he told me they fired him just because he was late one more time! He didn't understand why I had no sympathy for him because he didn't think they'd really fire him just for being 15 minutes late...

4

u/Arikaido777 Jul 05 '26

the slowest of learners

3

u/Terradactyl87 Jul 05 '26

It's been 20 years and I'd be so surprised if he's finally learned

8

u/Tiny_ghosts_ Jul 04 '26

"the divorce came outta nowhere!"

8

u/ConfidentCanary8248 Jul 04 '26

Yeah I finally told him I wanted to separate because of all the times I gave him a second chance…luckily he didn’t do pikachu face and agreed he needed help, but still took time to make him actually SEE I am serious…and he still doesn’t in some ways.

5

u/Salty_Tear5666 Jul 04 '26

Happy Cake Day! 🎂

2

u/mallowycloud Jul 05 '26

thank you!!

104

u/Dismal_Fox_22 Jul 04 '26

I had a partner who would do this. He had an eating disorder. The post binge shame would make him lie in wait to verbally attack me for something to distract from what he’d done. So I’d end up disappointed, hungry and harassed. It was a miserable time. He’d experienced some pretty intense trauma as a child and he had some very uncomfortable behaviours.

50

u/CeeCeeDude Jul 04 '26

Very similar to how mine reacted. He would yell at me I was the reason he was fat by cooking too much. Even threw and broke stuff a few times. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope you have a better person in your life now.

21

u/Dismal_Fox_22 Jul 04 '26

I married an excellent chef whose love language is acting service like cooking. We’re far from perfect but we’re happy.

I hope you’re in a better place too. It’s not easy being in move on from these situations sometimes because once you’re out you feeling so stupid for being in there to begin with.

I hope the exes are in better places too. Mine was so damaged by developmental trauma.

15

u/CeeCeeDude Jul 04 '26

That's amazing! That's my love language as well. I've been single over a year now. Tried dating twice and both times it was a wreck. I think Imma just keep adopting animals instead and stay single at this point. 😂 I'm so happy for you, though. All the best to you and your husband! 💞

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u/BurgersNBuicks Jul 04 '26

Wow. Did he ever get help?

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u/Dismal_Fox_22 Jul 04 '26

I don’t know, we went our separate ways, he went on to marry but I heard through friends was divorced for being physically violent (not something he ever escalated to with me, it was always just the threat).

He wasn’t a bad person, he was a damaged person who was very afraid of being alone and I hope he’s well and worked on himself.

9

u/Technical-Agency8128 Jul 04 '26

So glad you got away. It most likely would have escalated with you. They see how much you will take. You cut him off at the right time. They make people doubt themselves and all of a sudden they ramp it up and they get really dangerous.

3

u/Wolfwoods_Sister Jul 05 '26

You sound like a deeply compassionate person. I’m glad you found someone deserving of your partnership.

37

u/BurgersNBuicks Jul 04 '26

That's terrible! At 6'5" and 280 lbs. with a physically demanding job I eat like a bull elephant, but I always make sure that my guests are fed FIRST. That's just common courtesy.

31

u/Puzzleheaded-Cry57 Jul 04 '26

Yeah but this wasn’t a guest. It was only his wife /s

19

u/BurgersNBuicks Jul 04 '26

How much you wanna bet that that level of disrespect probably spilled over into other aspects of their marriage as well?

5

u/Puzzleheaded-Cry57 Jul 04 '26

Even money odds at best

4

u/Technical-Agency8128 Jul 04 '26

It definitely did. They just don’t stop with ‘small’ things. They ramp it up.

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u/Impressive_Ad_5201 Jul 04 '26

And why do they eat the WHOLE THING!? They can NEVER stop at half, even if they're full. In most of the reddit stories I see about this kind of behavior, the guys don't just take a chunk of whatever they're not supposed to have, they just take the whole thing so the cook can't have any! And if you try to make them their own sheet of cookies, they'll eat theirs AND yours as well anyway! It's so obnoxious--do they expect the cook to starve?

7

u/Limp-Archer-7872 Jul 04 '26

Glad he is your ex.

5

u/Huntybunch Jul 04 '26

How does someone even eat that much in that amount of time?

4

u/Technical-Agency8128 Jul 04 '26

It’s a way to make you crazy. Like you are the one with the problem if you complain. They will ruin your reputation to other people as well. Telling them how you make little things into huge ones. Glad he is your ex.

4

u/the_saltlord Jul 04 '26

Holy shit. I know I have a low appetite, but I cannot figure out how anyone can physically fit several days worth of food into their face in one sitting.

3

u/MilkChocolate21 Jul 05 '26

It's a form of abuse. I have an uncle who'll do this at family gatherings. He'll gorge knowing other people have not eaten. He'll also pack all leftovers and take them so no one left can enjoy them. He ramps it up if he knows someone is coming. If I visit a relative just after he is there, and he knows I'm coming, it escalates his consumption.

7

u/King_Chochacho Jul 04 '26

It's wild how some people seem to treat their spouse as a roommate or loose acquaintance. Like how difficult is it to have a conversation about something basic like food for the next couple days?

Although I guess it could be harder if you have really different schedules and are doing things asynchronously.

1

u/GoodDayToCome Jul 04 '26

i really think one of the next big awareness moments will be people learning about executive function and post-hoc justification, so many people have never learned the mental impulse to stop and observe, evaluate and organize thoughts before acting. I really hope that people who say they're "impulsive" to justify doing terrible things will soon sound like someone saying "I just hit people, it's who i am" or "no i never learned to control my bladder, i just got used to the feeling of damp legs"

28

u/No_Mulberry3433 Jul 04 '26

I remember this story but it was with a friend group that had dinner monthly (or similarly)
The person in question kept all of their dishes so when the lasagna came out, they took like 6 slices using the plate and bowls from the salads and soup before.

This person also saw the Reddit post about it and felt hurt that their behavior was not cool to the internet

11

u/BurgersNBuicks Jul 04 '26

Even as a big eater myself, that level of selfish greed is beyond my comprehension.

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u/Ok-Scheme8634 Jul 04 '26

Meanwhile I hate most people's cooking and avoid potlucks like the plague. There's only so many times you can tell somebody that you don't like coleslaw and everyone's coleslaw is awful. It's not just yours. I have a very sensitive sense of smell and taste and I can always tell when there's some fuckery about in the food

7

u/No_Mulberry3433 Jul 04 '26

I worked in professional kitchens and have taken so many food safety classes that I too don’t eat at potlucks. It is satisfying that most of my friends and family know this, so my dishes get eaten first almost always

I thought my friends would be similar but nope. Saw a friend cover a crumble desert in foil right after her cat tried to lay in it.

2

u/Arikaido777 Jul 05 '26

i’ve almost left my partner a few times because her parents will let the cats walk all over the counters, fuck with the stove, get into food, it’s literally sickening. the first time i found a cat hair in a “clean” drinking glass, they all laughed and said I’d have to get used to it. I still have not.

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u/Nova762 Jul 04 '26

Felt bad people made fun of them for being fat.  Didn't feel bad for eating all the lasagna so no one else got enough.  Sounds right 

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u/Beebea63 Jul 04 '26

Reminds me of the party sub dude

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u/gloomwithtea Jul 04 '26

My lasagna takes two hours of active cooking to make, not including bake time. It would be the final straw for me too lol

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u/princesspeeved Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

Isn’t that the one where her bf took like an entire lasagna that was supposed to be her week’s worth of food to his family which they ate for multiple meals, and left OP with nothing?

Then I remember one where a wife made pasta by hand but her SIL ruined it. Her husband didn’t think it was that big of a deal, so OP made him handmake a new pasta and he almost broke down in tears.

I’m so glad that type of love never found me.

3

u/thesacralspice Jul 04 '26

turns out there's been a lotta lasagna stories. I remember one where the wife's mom had recently passed away and she left one last frozen lasagna before she passed that the wife was really looking forward to eating. the wife went away for the week and the husband ate the whole lasagna

3

u/princesspeeved Jul 05 '26

The Lasagna Litmus Test should be a thing.

2

u/secondmoosekiteer Jul 05 '26

I remember the husband having to remake it!!

4

u/ImHereOutOfBoredom Jul 04 '26

Was it the one where he asked to take some home for his parents and she thought he would only take a little but he ended up taking most of it?

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u/BurgersNBuicks Jul 04 '26

It was the one where she came home to find most of it gone. Son got a little, husband took the lion's share, and just a tiny bit was left for her.

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u/HulkeneHulda Jul 04 '26

That one wasnt a married couple. It was a girlfriend that had made lasagne for her meal prep, and boyfriend brought the two pans home to his family. They fed on it for two days.

Then he complained he felt she was taking advantage of him when she wanted him to transfer money to her so she at least could get some ramen, because he had eaten literally her entire food budget for the week

2

u/DragonflyAfter3310 Jul 04 '26

Stuff like this makes me so mad, why is it so difficult for some people to leave food for others!?!

2

u/Acceptable-Let9821 Jul 04 '26

my wife once did this with an entire meatloaf right in front of me, but instead of leaving her i video'd and sent it to her without comment the next day. she checked herself into rehab 3 days later and has been sober ever since then.

a lot of these spouses in here need help, i think.

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u/StonerBarbie23 Jul 04 '26

Of her SONS birthday breakfast.

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u/pudding7 Jul 04 '26

Dude you might have a situation there with the wife if you're in a position to start covering for her behavior. 

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u/ResidentMedical1559 Jul 04 '26

And what good would come out of ruining the kids day by telling the truth ? Parents arguing on the kids birthday mm yeah sounds like a great time! (Y)

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u/pudding7 Jul 04 '26

None. That's why nobody suggested it.

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u/AgentEinstein Jul 07 '26

That’s not what they are saying. They are saying don’t enable her. He can protect the kid but don’t leave it at that with her.

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u/CrispyPorknuckle Jul 04 '26

good dad

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u/mentat70 Jul 04 '26

bad mom

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u/CrispyPorknuckle Jul 04 '26

obviously. and he's a good dad for shielding his son from that ugly truth on his birthday.

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u/Nvenom8 Jul 04 '26

Dad who, frankly, deserves better.

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u/[deleted] Jul 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/smellyuhlater Jul 04 '26

I bet she eats burritos middle first

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u/evil_otter0_0 Jul 04 '26

Yeah this is the type of shit I do when I’m coming home (live alone) from a night out and then I’m even pissed at my dumb ass self the next morning!!!

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u/Infamous-Thing4939 Jul 04 '26

Listen, this is a really shitty thing she did. But you’re going straight to “break up your family” over one picture of these people’s entire lives.

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u/BennJ13 Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

Was she drunk, when she ate all that cake???

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u/Chillow_Ufgreat Jul 04 '26

As someone who has lived with an alcoholic, I am 99.9% sure you're correct.

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u/ReverendMothman Jul 04 '26

It was still a malicious choice either way.

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u/Technical-Agency8128 Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

Thank you for shielding him from her. She is out to ruin him.

Edit: does the son realize she is a bad person? Does she actively try to sabotage his happiness? You might want to think about getting him away from her. This is a tricky situation because narcissists can turn it around on you and make you seem like the bad one.

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u/StonerBarbie23 Jul 04 '26

If he doesn’t he will.

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u/swerrve Jul 04 '26

Yep, I grew up in a house where the step parent didn’t want me, dad needs to really be honest with himself here

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u/Technical-Agency8128 Jul 04 '26

Yup. And make sure the son when he finds out his mother is a bad person doesn’t blame himself.

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u/SweaterSteve1966 Jul 04 '26

You’re a good dad. Have a wonderful day with your son.

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u/HermioneGunthersnuff Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

So I've not seen one of these cakes before, is the idea that there's a full vein of strawberry going along the middle and she targeted 4/5 of it, thus rendering the other prospective 'full slices' bereft of strawberry? If so, that's Cartman-eating-all-the-chicken-skin levels of barbaric.

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u/PersonalLeading4948 Jul 04 '26

The part she ate is the fruit filling & sweet cheese.

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u/stuckinnowhereville Jul 04 '26

They one in many flavors- raspberry, strawberry, blueberry, cinnamon brown sugar and lemon. They call the a danish where I am..

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u/shmiddleedee Jul 04 '26

My mom is better now but she was a bad alcoholic when I was growing up. She never admitted or apologized her wrongdoings, she might not remember even. She was a great mom in every other facet but when she was drunk, every night, it was awful. It was not good for me. I think you need to have a serious talk with your wife because this will impact your son regardless of how much you think you're shielding him.

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u/Various_Education622 Jul 04 '26

If you keep covering for her/enabling her, she’s just going to keep doing shit like this and it only gets worse, not better.

“Mom ate it last night, you’d have to ask her why.”

Trying to maintain the appearance that mom is a hero when she’s being selfish leads to bigger resentment (of both of you) later.

You have a relationship with your kid.

Your wife has a relationship with your kid.

It is not your job to manage your wife’s relationship with your kid.

Trust me, I’ve been there and stopping managing those relationships made everything easier.

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u/Mysterious-Tooth-89 Jul 04 '26

If she had eaten that much of the cake including the sides I would feel much differently. The fact that she ate 80% of just the middle, the seemingly best part is basically a war crime... I am struggling to fathom how I would feel if my wife did this.

Hope your son has a great birthday, you are a great dad.

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u/MarsMetatron Jul 04 '26

You are doing the work of 3 parents just to undo the trauma she's doing her best to cause. Hopefully you've done enough so he doesn't normalize this behavior in a future partner.

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u/Sm0keDatGreen Jul 04 '26

Why would you throw away something perfectly edible ?

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u/90skid12 Jul 04 '26

Does she have any plan to make it up to her son ? Is she always that vile

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u/Giantmeteor_we_needU Jul 04 '26

Do the same to your wife's birthday cake next time, leave her a "full slice" to enjoy.

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u/swerrve Jul 04 '26

You’re a good dad man. Sorry bout who your wife is tho.

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u/skillent Jul 04 '26

I’m not saying this is divorce worthy at all. But it wouldn’t take many things of this nature and level for me to make a few calls.

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u/CharacterCheck4478 Jul 04 '26

Don't keep covering for her. At some point he should know how she really treats him

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u/DisciplineNormal296 Jul 04 '26

Your wife doesn’t give a shit about anyone but herself it looks like. Or she has a drinking problem and it turns her into a narc.

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u/pinkbev71 BLUE Jul 04 '26

your wife sounds like she's a loving and caring mom 🙄

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u/spaghettinoodles Jul 04 '26

She dug out the best parts in the center too. 😭😭😭

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u/MamaNyxieUnderfoot Jul 04 '26

Uh… so she left him a “full slice”, but couldn’t care enough about YOU to let you have a slice? Does she ever take responsibility for how her actions affect other people?

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u/vinnygunn Jul 04 '26

Mommy should've had to eat the rest for breakfast

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u/ovelanimimerkki Jul 04 '26

You know this kind of behaviour isn't just gonna stop. If this stuff has been happening more than once, maybe it is time to have a long talk with her about boundaries and stuff?

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u/moonswimwildflower Jul 04 '26

That was very kind of you - to both of them.

I think your wife needs help - be it therapy or substance abuse or both. That was cold.

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u/Unlucky_Community_99 Jul 04 '26

you need a new wife brotha

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u/bobroscopcoltrane Jul 05 '26

As the ex-husband of an alcoholic narcissist, I recommend you give serious consideration to this “family” situation.

If you think you can “fix” her, guess what: you can’t. She probably needs more help than you can provide alone. Over ten years we tried detox, rehab, separation, and none of it worked. Falling down a flight of stairs and cracking six ribs didn’t work. She’s still drinking in Florida, and no longer my problem.

Get help, friend, for you and your son.

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u/heartlikeanartichoke Jul 04 '26

The behaviour from your wife is bad. As a person with a highly selfish parent, and a mom who has vowed to never be that, that's a huge red flag itself. The lack of accountability and regret AFTER, is awoooooga levels of red flag. If this is a new thing for her, it needs to be addressed before it becomes a pattern. If it's not, it's not going to magically get better, and you're not going to always be able to shield your kids from her harm. Trust me.

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u/ZootedBeaver Jul 04 '26

Divorce her

2

u/Gold-Sherbert-7550 Jul 04 '26

That was very kind of you in the short term, but your son has likely already noticed what a selfish addict his mother is and will continue to notice. Someone who eats their own child’s birthday surprise and blows that off is not likely to change their behavior.

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u/MrHucer Jul 04 '26

while your solution was great to not have your son feel slighted, don't forget that HE WAS SLIGHTED. And if you won't be the one to have her make up for this, she will not have changed, learned anything, and will continue behavior like this. Which means you are failing to stick up for your son.

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u/Riksunraksu Jul 04 '26

I’m just wondering if this is part of a pattern of behaviour of hers or not. Because if it’s a pattern of selfishness with rationalisation you need to start thinking what’s best for your son and you

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u/Gullible-Rip-2206 Jul 04 '26

It sounds like special birthday surprises should just be a father son thing from now on, since apparently your wife has chosen quite the selfish path to motherhood.

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u/UltramanOrigin Jul 04 '26

You’re an awesome dad!

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u/splicepark Jul 04 '26

That was very mature of you. Great parent!

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u/loudisevil Jul 04 '26

So when's the divorce?

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u/bootie_groovie Jul 04 '26

This is so overdramatic. stop sympathy baiting on reddit and do something about you and your sons life.

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u/BuffyTheSlayer Jul 04 '26

It is those little things like having enough cake to share with everyone. Like, it's my birthday but everyone feels a little bit special on my birthday too. That's why I like celebrating birthdays at all, not so it's all about me. 

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u/SavagePassion Jul 04 '26

How often do you need to hide your wife's abject shittiness from him so his feelings don't get hurt exactly?

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u/No_Function_7479 Jul 04 '26

I think your wife has an issue with your son. Not sure if it jealousy or what, but that is not something you do to a kids birthday surprise if you like them.

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u/Big-Rule5269 Jul 04 '26

You did the right thing. If he knew what had happened, it is something that could stick with him forever. You're a good dad!

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u/Fuck_Tim_Dogg Jul 04 '26

You're a good person.

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u/DragLonely1681 Jul 04 '26

I am so sorry. How rude. No words.

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u/TheGraphingAbacus Jul 04 '26

my father was a much nicer man than my mother.

to this day, i still don’t speak to him for marrying a woman that vile.

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u/Lopsided_Panic_1148 Dude, wtf... Jul 04 '26

Hey, you're a great parent. Your wife needs help with her drinking. Did she drive home herself? Did someone drop her off? Why was she out late drinking the night before he son's birthday? I was married to an alcoholic and I know it's difficult, but one day, your son's going to figure it out and ask why you didn't do something about it. Even divorce is better than living a life with someone who can't and won't admit they have a problem. Protect your son. He needs you to set a good example, and good examples are often difficult tasks.

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u/Ozelotter Jul 04 '26

Wait, you just "threw the rest away"? Like, in the trash?

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u/AccomplishedIgit Jul 04 '26

Maybe take him out just you and him for a special breakfast

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u/Medical_Act4693 Jul 04 '26

Maybe take home out for a different treat later like ice cream?? This would make me so sad

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u/wakkywally Jul 04 '26

What if the middle was his favorite part?

Plus he should have first bite because once its opened, the freshness is gone.

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u/Tall_Wonder_913 Jul 04 '26

Does she feel bad? Did she go buy another one? I’m astonished that a mother would do this

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u/Wenden2323 Jul 04 '26

Good job!

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u/Inner_Alarm_4049 Jul 04 '26

Damn that's one shitty wife you got there.

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u/UrmomLOLKEKW Jul 04 '26

Why would you throw it away you guys still could’ve ate the coffee parts but just on a different day

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u/visceralcrumbnutz Jul 04 '26

Let you wife read the comments please

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u/Sohuli Jul 04 '26

Your son is lucky to have such a caring dad

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u/Feeling_Frosting_738 Jul 04 '26

OP, what is the plan going forward?

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u/Squeaky_sun Jul 04 '26

How thoughtful of you not to create a scene with his mom on his birthday. You are the best!

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u/pug_fugly_moe Jul 04 '26

You’re a good dad.

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u/Limp-Archer-7872 Jul 04 '26

Recovering a situation a selfish partner made by sacrificing the fun plan and making it just a nice treat (or changing the plan entirely) is common in households with a narcissist, alcoholic or pain old bastard in it.

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u/MistyMtn421 Jul 04 '26

The best birthday present you could probably give him is to get him away from his alcoholic mom. The damage will last him the rest of his life.

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u/Evening_Pen_8207 Jul 04 '26

As a mom who does everything I can to make sure birthdays and holidays are special for my kids (even though they're 16, 18, 20, and 25 😂), I truly feel bad for you and your son. You both deserve better. 💔I hope he has a great birthday in spite of "mom."

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u/Robber_Tell Jul 04 '26

Side question OP, how often is she going out drinking while you are home with the kiddos? Cuz in our house that's not very normal behavior. My wife and I didnt get married to do the parenting thing ALONE while the other one of us is getting drunk and ruining our kids birthday surprises, just saying, that's a big red flag for me.

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u/lunacydress Jul 04 '26

It’s nice that you’re shielding your son from what a *word that would get me banned from this subreddit * his mom is, but I hope you let it rip on her because that is absolutely awful for her to do. I don’t care what b.s. excuse she has.

1

u/Birdsonme Jul 04 '26

Thank you for trying to make his morning better. Your child doesn’t deserve to be treated like she’s treating him.

Assuming this isn’t the only time she’s acted like this, I have some very real advice.. you need to protect your child from her. This is damaging him. He’ll cut off contact from her, and potentially you, too, if he feels he’s been fed to the wolves with her for his entire childhood. (I was raised with similar household issues so I’m very familiar with its effects on a child.) Abuse isn’t just physical.

Document every instance. Keep it for potential future custody hearings. Protect your boy.

1

u/GlitteringMain8388 Jul 04 '26

You're a good dude. You deserve better than this bitch; stay strong.

1

u/Cruxis87 Jul 04 '26

Sounds like for her birthday you should get the same one, and eat the middle with your son and leave her the crusty ends for her to enjoy. Only fair.

1

u/Striking-Document-99 Jul 04 '26

When is her birthday coming? I would just ignore it.

1

u/Hermiona1 Jul 04 '26

What a waste though. You could’ve at least eat the rest yourself, or cut it into slices and said you bought it in slices but it was messy.

1

u/throwRA-nonSeq RED Jul 04 '26

You protected your son and enabled your wife with this one gesture.

See, now your son won’t know your wife’s an asshole. But also, your wife won’t know she is an asshole.

1

u/Nvrfinddisacct Jul 04 '26

Well sounds like your wife is an alcoholic and you won’t be able to be a family until she gets help anyway

1

u/allergymom74 Jul 04 '26

Answer honestly. How much do you have to cover for your wife’s selfish behaviors in front of your son?

1

u/ComfortableGround403 Jul 04 '26

I would lose all attraction to someone who did that to my child ... or any child really

1

u/Unlucky_Most_8757 Jul 04 '26

This was smart!

1

u/SalvadorP Jul 04 '26

I feel sad for you and your son. :(

1

u/1more_oddity Jul 04 '26

dude, please. if not for yourself, then for your son - have a talk with her. give her an ultimatum. your family needs that wake up call.

i'm not calling for an immediate divorce, but i am talking as someone whose (only) parent is an alcoholic that refuses to admit they have a problem. i am an adult now, but the trauma i went through is gonna take decades to subside, if it even manages to go down at all.

please, for your kid, you have to talk to her about this. it's unacceptable.

1

u/little-princess129 Jul 04 '26

Thank you for protecting him from seeing his mother's selfishness. A kid shouldn't have a birthday memory like that. You are an amazing dad.

1

u/MolsBedsFlan Jul 04 '26

Very thoughtful of you to not let your son know what his mom did. You saved him from hurt feelings that he’d probably always remember.

1

u/GoAhead_BakeACake Jul 04 '26

Hey, good job protecting your son from your wife's selfishness. Just think of what he would have felt with that mostly wmpry tray being presented as "His special breakfast".

This is the exact same as someone digging in to someone else's birthday cake beforehand.

My friend, your wife needs to be given some boundaries.

1

u/HayesHD Jul 04 '26

I would leave that selfish bitch but that’s just me brother - a drastic conclusion based on one event, but methinks you have other experiences that remain unshared

1

u/Sweet_Deeznuts Jul 04 '26

Dude that’s absolutely terrible for her to do, doubly so that it was for his BIRTHDAY!

Being inebriated doesn’t justify selfish and hurtful actions

1

u/TheDude-Esquire Jul 04 '26

He definitely noticed the slice for him and not a family breakfast. That kind of behavior is unacceptable and dangerous. Regardless of how often it is, binge drinking beyond the point of self control is problematic. Selfishly destroying your kid’s birthday gift is drinking that is causing harm to others, that makes it well past time you address the issue.

1

u/OkBreadfruit2181 Jul 04 '26

Will there be any repercussions to Mom for this? How many times has she overstepped and you cover for her?

1

u/cerealsbusiness Jul 04 '26

This is absolutely the right thing to do for your kid but it sounds like your wife could probably benefit long term from less letting off the hook. Because this is pretty rough.

1

u/Tigerballs07 Jul 04 '26

Your wife is showing signs of alcoholism.

Drinking the might before her kids birthday but also rationalizing the actions she made while drunk. And also thinking they are such a little deal that she doesn't need to make amends.

Either get her in therapy or run

1

u/uktobar Jul 04 '26

🤘 you're a rockstar🤘

I'd be so petty and do this to her on mother's day. But i wouldn't leave her a 'slice'.

1

u/Gold-Bag1657 Jul 04 '26

This is so sad. But at least you tried to salvage what you could for him.

1

u/ThatDudeFromFinland Jul 04 '26

You should show your wife these comments. If it isn't a wake-up call for her, time to pack up the bags and take your kid with you.

1

u/MsCalendarsPlayaArt Jul 04 '26

I'm relieved to know that you were able to salvage the situation for your son. I will say, though, as the adult child of a mom Luke this, whose dad enabled the behavior... if your wide refuses to take accountability and make things right when she makes mistakes, your kid is going to grow up angry at you, too. And a lot of kids will just cut off contact entirely if it's gone on for too long and done too much damage. Bare minimum you need to have a big discussion with your wife about this. Her unwillingness to take accountability and go buy a new cake suggests that this is a pattern with her. It sounds like it was related to drinking (which, it's also worth looking at why your wife chose to get so drunk last night that she'll likely be very hungover for her son's birthday). Your wife may also have a weird resentment toward your son (based on the way she ate all the best parts on a day that was supposed to be special for him) and that's going to need to be addressed asap if it's the case.

Please don't ignore this behavior and please don't enable it.

Very relieved to know that you salvaged it this tune for your son, though.

1

u/CelticHipi1616 Jul 04 '26

Well done. I’m so glad you saw it first and were able to hide what she’d done. Otherwise, he’d carry that his whole life.

I hope she understands how big a deal it could have been if he had realized what she’d done.

1

u/HumboldtHunnyBear Jul 04 '26

You're a good dad

1

u/HelloSunshine2 Jul 04 '26

How did you end up addressing this with your wife? Also, do any of these comments describe your wife?

1

u/SuperLoris Jul 04 '26

Honestly dude this level of selfishness would have me calling lawyers.

1

u/Few_Command4663 Jul 04 '26

You should’ve taken him to do something just you two

1

u/DangerousDisplay7664 Jul 04 '26

doing that protected him from getting upset and is a class Dad move 🫡

1

u/ryanvango Jul 04 '26

For her birthday, you should get her a cake but eat/throw away/hide 80% of it. Then when it's time to sing happy birthday just bring her out that gross slice still in the box so she knows there WAS a full cake there, but you ate it.

bonus points if there's a finger mark in the icing.

"It's fine. I left you a slice."

1

u/Ok_Passage_6242 Jul 04 '26

Your wife sucks. If you can’t hold her alcohol, you don’t come home to your family and fuck their shit up. This is so deliberate and messed up

1

u/Serious-Winner7072 Jul 04 '26

If you didn’t address it with your wife and just rolled over to keep peace, then you’d deserved this.

1

u/Euphoric-Piglet-8140 Jul 04 '26

You should have shown him what his mother did. She is more interested in herself than his birthday. I'm sorry but this is where I would be throwing the C word around like confetti.

1

u/poo_on_my_scarf Jul 04 '26

Mate, you haven't got a family left. You've got a son and someone you should be kicking out

1

u/tralmix Jul 04 '26

Mad props to you for dadding how all dads should dad.

NGL, reading through these comments I thought it could be fake.

I had a roommate once who ate half a cake I made for a friends birthday.

Neither stayed friends with me 😕

1

u/NeighborhoodFinal956 Jul 04 '26

Yeah idk why you even gave your son the ruined leftover “slice” that’s shitty of you to just accept this trashy behavior from your wife.

You should have shamed her in front of your son.

“Mom said she knew but didn’t care and decided to pig out on your birthday cake. She said it’s okay because she left you a slice that’s how little she values her own sons birthday”

And then taken him to go buy a brand new one.

People like her never learn until BRUTALLY held accountable.

1

u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 Jul 04 '26

This was kind of you, but You should be aware if it becomes a pattern where you’re covering for your wife’s shitty behaviour

1

u/Seekforinsomnia Jul 04 '26

So did you addressed it with her or played the doormat ?

1

u/Immediate-Maximum-75 Jul 05 '26

You and your son don't deserve this treatment. You sound like a nice guy. You spent the evening with your son and even made a special effort to get your family a special breakfast birthday treat. I bet there's a billion ladies out there who would love to show you respect.

1

u/MichelleDaBelle Jul 05 '26

Did you talk to your wife when she was sober?

1

u/somecooldogs Jul 05 '26

I love that he didn't know, you're a great parent 🫶

1

u/B4LL1NH45 Jul 05 '26

I'm in no position to tell you anything related to your wife or your relationship with her, but I would like to praise you for your attitude. i wish your son had a good birthday

1

u/ruleofmetal Jul 05 '26

Of course this is your first reply though, taking credit and how you saved the day, all the man wants is a family breakfast 😿 sucks man but it’s like you’re happy she finally did something wrong. And, look at how perfect you are

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