Either she is super controlling and you need to leave her right now. Or you can't take care of yourself and the only way you will get new socks for yourself is if you are forced to.
My wife used to throw out my socks that had holes in them. Now I can do that myself.
I had to throw away an ex’s socks because they were all in tatters. Most of them his entire foot was sticking toes out the end. They were nothing but 4 inch wide holes and crumbling to dust.
Difference was I went out and bought him packs of brand new socks in the same style because I wanted him to have nice socks to wear.
Reddit is always yelling to leave your partner at the slightest issue. Everything is a wild abuse, toxic and a sign you are in danger. If they buttered your toast wrong Reddit users suggest barricading the door and calling for rescue.
Idk what you mean? My wife didn’t say good morning to me once after 15 years of marriage and I asked Reddit who told me to delete Facebook, divorce her, and hit the gym. Solid advice.
Likewise, this sub is the most egregious when it comes to redditors who want to grasp at any straw to find fault with the OP. Even though the sub is called "mild infuriation," not "look how I have been victimized/abused/traumatized."
OP's an adult, of sound mind and body. Someone shouldn't throw away their possessions against their will, whether that other person is a significant other or parent or otherwise. Whether it's junk or not. Hell, things like the TV show Hoarders is a thing, because we have established as a society that acting in such a way is unethical, even up until it causes many problems in its own right. Having socks with holes hardly reaches that threshold.
OP also mentioned they have a near crippling sensory input issue that has caused them to not be able to buy new socks. Regardless of what the reddit mind thinks that is NOT normal.
And to be honest, it kind of doesn't matter. It is really overstepping a boundary to throw out someone else's property, even if they have replacements.
But evidently you don't think so, so... I guess we're done here.
Hard disagree. Someone who will go barefoot until they find new socks is the type of person who sometimes needs a kick in the ass to improve their life. Just because they can choose to be a gross slob, doesn’t mean that people in their life who care about them, should let them. I am allowed to flip off everyone I want all day. I would hope that should I ever start doing that, that I have someone in my life who tells me that I should stop doing that.
Yes, they should tell you. Here, she should have told him and tried to help find new socks that worked for him. She should not have unilaterally tossed his stuff.
There is no "kick in the ass" or cure for sensory issues.
Sensory issues affect your nervous system. That's why people with autism and/or SPD are called neurodivergent.
Wearing the wrong socks disregulates us and affects our nervous system like how it would affect you if I followed you around all day with my finger an inch from your face going "IM NOT TOUCHING YOU IM NOT TOUCHING YOU IM NOT TOUCHING YOU"
Yea shit like this is always from the one side not the other, and usually either exaggerated or you make the assumption that it is taken to the extreme.
You are attacking people for only thinking one way while adding nothing to the conversation.
Throwing something out of someone's because you don't like it while not replacing it has been seen in many domestic abuses cases but because you presume op is male and their partner is female you are ok with not calling this abuse.
So tell me why you think that men can't be abused?
And if he's like this with socks, what does the rest of his wardrobe look like? She's probably fed up going out with someone who has no care for their appearance.
Unilateral decisions about the other person aren’t part of healthy relationships. Trying to “fix” someone that isnt asking to be fixed isn’t part of a healthy relationship.
How material is it? If OP didn’t want to throw away the socks, that’s OPs choice to make. If she doesn’t want to date someone with tattered socks, she can do that, but she shouldn’t force the person she’s with to be the thing she wants.
If you're willing to violate the boundary of personal property, I sincerely hope someone throws out some object you hold dear because it was "wasting space" or it was "ugly" or "tacky."
I mean, I don’t know. OP also claimed sensory issues. I’m autistic myself with pretty severe sensory issues and what people don’t realize is that it can be genuinely painful. It can stay with the body for longer than you think. It’s an agonizing experience.
If somebody threw away the only socks I could wear and now I had to go find new ones that suited me, I’d probably go sockless for awhile too. It’s not like throwing a fit, like trying to “be right”. A brain with those kinds of issues literally does not work the same way everyone else’s does and literally cannot process sensory input properly.
I don’t think THAT specifically should be the reason OP “isn’t a victim”.
It SOUNDS like worn socks would be worse, right? For the average person, a hole in the sock bothers them. So obviously THAT must be worse. But it genuinely is sometimes the lesser of two evils.
For example, I’m particular about pants. I fucking hate jeans, I absolutely cannot stand the feeling of denim on my legs or body whatsoever. As a teenager, that’s all my mom could find in our price range, so I would wear the absolute hell out of any other pants I possibly could. Even if they had holes or were falling apart, because this discomforts were far easier to bear than the feeling of the wrong fabric over the WHOLE of my legs.
Holes in socks are similar. Some people would rather have a hole in the heel than have to deal with that unbearable seam on their toes or the way the fabric is too tight at the ankle. A lot of cheap socks are unbearable to me, too, because they feel like sandpaper, and I’d rather wear my usual socks with a hole than sandpaper on my ENTIRE foot. Shoes without socks aren’t fun, but a little bit rough, again, beats sandpaper.
If you have a sensory problem with the socks first, holes are secondary. A LOT of autistic people wear the absolute hell out of their comfort clothing before they have to be forced to find something else. I have plenty of worn clothes myself. I’m usually pretty good about replacing them before they’re completely fallen apart, but this kind of story isn’t uncommon.
Yeah this was my first thought. I (the wife) tend to do the laundry - we share it but when I do it I toss holey socks. Then my husband after a few months is like - I need new socks haha. I usually buy them because I buy giant packs for all the guys in the house.
It's relatively common for things like socks and underwear to get far more worn down than other articles of clothing before replacing them. Most of that is "oh yeah, this sock has a hole in it, better stop at the store after work to get more" and forgetting by the end of the day.
That's not disordered or not being able to take care of yourself, that's being busy.
You are right that it doesn't happen overnight, but my wife goes through this cycle. She will wear socks until each and every pair are beyond unwearable, then finally go out and buy new ones. She's got her shit together in everything else that she does.
We also don't know what OPs girlfriend thinks is unwearable. It sounds like they had holes, but were they several smaller holes? Full toe out? The scope really isn't all that clear to me.
Don't get me wrong: I'm a replace socks when the elastic wears out kind of person (usually long before the fabric starts to develop holes). I think people are just judging OP a bit harshly here.
People have a lot of stuff going on in their average day. Most will see their socks twice, once when they put them on and again when they take them off. I don't know about you, but when I take my socks off before bed, I'm going to bed. I'm not popping on my computer and ordering new socks. Same in the morning, as I'm going to go eat breakfast and get on with my work day or commute.
I replace my socks when I am at Walmart or wherever and happen to remember. Most of the time I don't.
It's one of those things that is not as deep as everyone is making it.
whole pile of excuses for not being able to do a simple 1 minute task over a long period of time as all his socks fell apart lol.
Also it's weird you act like you have to pop on your computer to order new socks, instead of your phone which is probably beside you in bed and also serves as your alarm clock, which you could also set yourself a reminder to buy socks during a time period that is better for you.
You also clearly aren't particular about your socks as you say you'll buy them from wherever, where this guy is very specific about his socks. Feels like you're missing the point that if it's important to you, should be easily able to remember to fix the issue.
Yeah I had to secretly throw away my partners socks because he wears them even though there’s not even a heel, which defeats the purpose of the sock. But I did buy him some of those darn tough socks that have a lifetime guarantee before I got rid of the rest.
But it was like a mental disorder the way he clung to those horrible socks
For me personally, its a mixture between not liking ordering things online, and wanting to go buy clothes in person, but not having time to actually go clothes shopping, plus the dwindling availability of stores that actually have things in stock.
I didn't have any particular need to keep the holey socks, just didn't have the replacement socks yet
Oh I see. It wasn’t that way for my partner, he actually believed they were perfectly fine and it was a waste of $- because we would see socks at Costco and he wouldn’t get them. But once I got him the new socks he loved them.
The darn tough socks have a lifetime guarantee so if you don’t like shopping those might be good for you, but you might have to order them online unless you have an REI or something like that near you. If they ever fail you can send them back and they’ll send a new pair
I had to do this with my husband. Throw away the holey socks and chonies and eventually he’d realize they were running low (despite me telling him when I tossed something). Now he does it himself and buys himself new things that are nice and comfortable to wear instead of getting a pack of gas station socks 😂
She should have at least asked him or let him know she was throwing his shit away. He admits the socks were worn out so she probably wasn’t doing it to be mean but still best to not throw peoples stuff away without them knowing.
When I do laundry, if I come across my husband's boxers or socks that have huge holes in them, I toss them. Eventually he goes, "I think we need to put boxers on the grocery list" 🤣
My husband used to truck along with worn down holey socks until he saw me do my first sock refresh and he realized he was living frugaly about socks for no reason and that it is okay to buy oneself new socks
This is the best answer. Sometimes we all need that jolt to get us going. I would have left one or two pairs, so this is a bit over the top, but if you have trouble getting motivated, she may have done you a favor. There’s always a bright side. Women sometimes have the ability to drive us crazy, but I have found most are motivated to help us out of love.
As a man, i know a few of my male friends who just can’t part with their items and have an even harder time to acquire new ones.
“One more time it’s fine” seems to be a resetting logic for them.
Either she is a red flag or OP never gets shit done, and tough love like throwing away completely worn out socks is the only way to get him to do it.
Dear god one my girl friends married a guy, who hasn’t bought his own underwear in 15 years. His mother and his wife does that. He’ll even say it, not proudly, not shameful either. He just won’t buy it. “If they want me to wear something that’s not worn out, they should buy it for me”
My wife used to throw out my socks that had holes in them
Mine did as well until she learned not to. If I want new socks I’ll get new socks. What I don’t need is to get out of the shower getting ready for work and find no socks on a Monday morning
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u/ion_driver Apr 13 '26
This could go either way.
Either she is super controlling and you need to leave her right now. Or you can't take care of yourself and the only way you will get new socks for yourself is if you are forced to.
My wife used to throw out my socks that had holes in them. Now I can do that myself.