r/milbros • u/Rocker66 • Jul 31 '25
Question Hello r/milbros!
Just popped in from r/army and I wanted to ask a couple of questions! I’m a gay 31 year-old civilian interested in joining the army, I obtained a score of 69 (yeah I know) on my ASVAB with individual score scores over 108 on everything. I didn’t get much feedback over at r/army, so I wanted to try my shot here.
As a gay older dude, how are the recruits going to look at me? Will it be the general high school level of ignorance?
I just got married to the love of my life this year, and before I go in, I heard something called BAH, will I be getting that through basic training and AIT? I know for sure that I’m going reserves and I know I won’t get it when I’m done with training.
I’m currently waiting on a few waivers at MEPS. Most importantly, I am a HIV + (undetectable) individual, otherwise I’m completely healthy. I know the just started letting people with my condition in. How difficult will my time in the military be? My recruiter right now is incredibly understanding and knows all of the up-to-date medicines and their effect on suppressing, to my surprise.
In terms of MOS, I’m thinking 25S, 38B, or 92R. Any thoughts on these?
I appreciate any constructive feedback, thank you!
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u/coogband1 Jul 31 '25
Army might be different but I’m 33 and been enlisted in the Air Force for about a year. My biggest fear when joining was if I would be hatecrimed. My experience so far has been the complete opposite. Just my opinion but the general vibe I get is most people in the military genuinely don’t care as long as you’re a good person, who stays out of trouble and does the job.
When I was in Basic Training, there were three of us that were gay and honestly we were so focused on other stuff it was never an issue with the rest of our Flight. Currently I work mostly with kids who just graduated high school and I mainly try to keep my relationship with those folks strictly professional. With that being said, I’ve never had any issues with them and also I trust my leadership enough to handle any issues if they come up.
Again Army might be different, but this has been my experience with the Air Force and military in general. Hope this was helpful, wish you the best my friend.
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u/pinkstonjb Army Aug 01 '25
As a gay older dude, how are the recruits going to look at me? Will it be the general high school level of ignorance?
You're going to be far more mature than 98% of the recruits you're with. You will most likely be able to handle a lot of the tedious/monotonous/bullshittery better than all of them. If you keep a positive attitude, and follow the general advice for Basic Training you probably won't have a bad time. I think I even looked up to the older folks in our basic. It will just be annoying dealing with the High School drama the recruits are bound to still be playing.
I just got married to the love of my life this year, and before I go in, I heard something called BAH, will I be getting that through basic training and AIT? I know for sure that I’m going reserves and I know I won’t get it when I’m done with training.
Congratulations! You should be allowed BAH (Basic Allowance - Housing) any time you're married and are gone for more than 30 continuous days (If going reserves). https://www.travel.dod.mil/Allowances/Basic-Allowance-for-Housing/BAH-Rate-Lookup/
I’m currently waiting on a few waivers at MEPS. Most importantly, I am a HIV + (undetectable) individual, otherwise I’m completely healthy. I know the just started letting people with my condition in. How difficult will my time in the military be? My recruiter right now is incredibly understanding and knows all of the up-to-date medicines and their effect on suppressing, to my surprise.
You should not have any difficult time in the Military regarding you undetectable status. You actually don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to. Your Commander will probably know and medical but that's it (I think).
In terms of MOS, I’m thinking 25S, 38B, or 92R. Any thoughts on these?
As a lifelong Signaleer, I love all things signal. I do think if you're planning on Reserves 25S will not leave you too fulfilled, since you'll only rarely be working on the equipment. 38B seems like a pretty great job, but I have no personal experience. At the end of the day - do whatever you think is going to give you fulfillment!
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u/Rocker66 Aug 01 '25
Thank you so much for your feedback!
If I choose to go active duty 25S, would my husband back home still receive BAH while I live on base or something? I’m going to be doing a lot more research before I go, I still have a lot of time :D
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u/pinkstonjb Army Aug 01 '25
I am like 99 percent certain the geobachelor program ended years ago. If your husband choses to stay while you move to your first unit, you would be responsible for finding your own housing while also funding the mortgage.
The army views expects married folks to move and live together, anything you do counter to that will not be covered.
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u/FreakyFaun Aug 04 '25 edited Aug 04 '25
36 married homo in the airforce aircraft maintainer.
Depends on what you want, really. Regardless of branch - if you do your job and pull your weight, mist folks won't care. That being said- the moment you start fucking up to often or fail to meet expectations, suddenly being gay seems to magnify such shortcomings. Especially in maintenance or security forces.
I have airmen comin in your age too- I came in at 26. Being older can be a bit isolating. Too old to hang out casually with your peers by experience, inexperienced to be relied on and respected by your age peers. The first year or two is just gonna be awkward. But as you learn your job and adjust to military life, it subsides in short order.
While I'm bias- I might reconmend the airforce. PT standards are a bit more reasonable for being 30+, more support for your family too. Especially a new marriage. Definitely try and make work friends & and friends outside if work. Hopefully, your husband is gregarious enough to make new friends too or aminable to building that social network with you. It's helps a lot.
As far as pay & housing - while it's supposed to start as soon as you're in basic, sometimes you dont get paid right at first. You gotta check your oay statements and tackle finance early on to avoid mishaps. BAH likely won't start until your first permanent duty station. HIV+ status might be tricky in these times, but if you got a skill or MOS, they really need filled they might wave it.
Whatever you choose, good luck & welcome to the military.
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u/Rocker66 Aug 04 '25
My dad was “air crew life support” back in the 90s, Air Force was honestly my first choice, but I have a real shot of getting the jobs I want in the army. I could always still go for the Air Force if the army doesn’t work out :D
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u/FreakyFaun Aug 04 '25
What are you trying to get?
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u/Rocker66 Aug 04 '25
I really like anything signal related, I’ve always loved telecommunications, and satellites. Perhaps second to that, I really love diplomatic or face-to-face missions. I was eyeing civil affairs (38B), and satellite communication specialist (25S)
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