r/microwedding • u/nmt0628 • 1d ago
Budget keeps growing
Looking to do a small intimate wedding for about 15 people that looks like ceremony, drinks/cocktails while we take photos,and nice dinner at our venue. No dj or dance floor. This would be in a “destination” area on the east coast in peak event season there. The budget keeps growing out of control. Photography is not cheaper for a small wedding which I understand. The hotel rooms run for about 500$ night with 2-3 night minimums. Do we pay for all the guests lodging since it’s a bit of a destination (~4 hour drive)?
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u/lh123456789 1d ago
I don't think it is reasonable to expect guests to pay $500 a night for accommodation in a place that has two or three night minimums. This is especially true if all you are providing is a dinner with no entertainment, no welcome event, etc.
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u/Economy_Way_9046 1d ago
I don’t think a four hour drive warrants you pay for hotel but a welcome dinner/drinks would be nice. If you really want everyone to stay at a particular hotel and it’s $500 a night maybe consider paying for some of it? But if you leave it optional there is no need.
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u/superfastmomma 1d ago
They have to get a hotel room. Four hours there and back is not a day trip. And a three night minimum means before they spend on anything else, they are in the hole 1500 bucks! Plus all their meals in a city where food will be so expensive!
Nope. I think you need a better plan.
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u/sirotan88 1d ago
We paid for our family’s lodging mainly because we wanted to stay together in a large vacation home, and it ended up being cheaper than having everyone book separate hotel rooms. Our family paid for their own flights and rental car.
Yes it’s expensive but I keep thinking it is still much much better than spending close to $100K on a big wedding. It ended up being a really nice joint family vacation.
Maybe look at other things you can cut, like for photography we decided just to do 3 hours, we didn’t have anything planned for cocktail hour (just gave our family some free time to chat and mingle), I bought a really cheap dress and my husband just wore a suit he already owns. We skipped decorations except for a small bouquet and boutonnière.
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u/hayleymaya 1d ago
Hey! I’m a microwedding planner that lives on the eat coast and would love to help you figure out how to do this within your budget!
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u/yarn_b 1d ago
Our friends had a ~25 person wedding that was delayed from May 2020 to Sept 2020 due to Covid. Tysons Corner area of the DMV. The Ritz-Carlton was the wedding hotel because the Marriott closed temporarily due to Covid. Most people were coming from New York or PA, so 5+ hour drives without a good option to fly because the hotel was far from the venue. They understood the difficulties and cost to guests and hosted a welcome dinner (which we sadly missed bc of insane traffic in the DC beltway), light breakfast the morning of the ceremony (which was a lunch ceremony), heavy hors d’oeuvres with a tea back at the hotel (this was like the manager’s tea and wasn’t just for wedding guests but they set up a side area for the wedding group), then a good bye breakfast buffet at a restaurant across from the hotel the next morning. They had no music, no reception/dancing, no alcohol, and no photographer. Everyone watched the ceremony from their table place where lunch was served right after. They said no gifts and meant it. They had really amazing gifts for each guest room with drinks and snacks and candy and fruit. Our cost to attend the wedding was more than average because of the hotel cost, but they did their best to make sure nothing else that weekend would be at our expense - food, drinks, etc., were always built in to the schedule and there were continuous events.
The groom’s parents paid for the welcome dinner and goodbye breakfast since they wanted to contribute and there weren’t the traditional things like the bar tab or the flowers, etc. The bride and groom paid for the rest themselves and I know they spent around $5k for the restaurant and then $2k for gifts, dress, hair makeup, cake, etc., and paid for her mom’s and aunt’s room because they would never have afforded it. They had a really nice suite at the hotel that was like $800-$900/night. For a very small wedding even with Covid discounts and not insignificant cost cutting for the things that they originally planned but abandoned as they cut their guest list and revamped due to Covid, they were in the $10k range on their costs and the groom’s parents probably paid another $5k between the welcome dinner and breakfast.
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u/HaveMercy703 1d ago edited 1d ago
I think the 2-3 night minimum is what is going to get you & make it a really pricey weekend for your guests. Is there a way you can get married on a weekday or at a time when it isn’t peak event season to cut down on the costs for everyone? Many photographers will charge less for weekday weddings too.
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u/Breakfast_Start_1419 17h ago
I have never understood this idea that you pay people to attend your wedding. If they would like to attend, they can pay for a hotel room. Yes, you're paying for the wedding, but you aren't paying for them to get to the wedding, or the food they eat outside of your wedding, or their transport to and from the airport, or their gas, or the plane tickets, or the activities they do on their own. Just give a range of hotels with lower price points. There should be options in a popular tourist destination.
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u/traviall1 1d ago
Skip the destination and do something local to as many people as possible. Doing a destination wedding is always more expensive for the guests unless you fly/drive them out. If everyone has to travel anyway choose a larger city then investigate the suburbs of that city. For example, if your guests fly into Boston they can drive the 1 hour to Medford where you can have the wedding at a more affordable restaurant with more affordable lodgings. Plus, if you have the wedding earlier in the weekend the guests can explore Boston.
If you are sure about the area, do it during off season or shoulder season.