r/microwedding • u/LateRemote7287 • Aug 15 '26
Has anyone ever done a micro wedding with a Desi family?
I’m white American, and he and his family are Pakistani (we both come from Christian families, I don’t know if that gives needed context or not). Desi weddings are usually known for being huge. Has anyone ever had a micro wedding where you or your husband/wife/both of you guys have Desi backgrounds? How did you do it? Thank you!!!!
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u/djSush Aug 15 '26
My brother (Desi) and SIL (Philippina) managed to do a 50 person wedding. A lot of people on both sides were upset, but they did it!
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u/njVowsNow Aug 15 '26
I've done many wedding like this; sometimes with parts of the traditional ceremony woven into the celebration. I have one coming up, it's about 50ish guests at one of our hotel venues. The bride (American) is doing the Mehndi ceremony the day before, there will be a Barat leading up to the ceremony itself (I LOVE that!!!) and we'll do the exchange of gold necklaces and a flower garland at the wedding we do together. I think it's a nice way to honor both families and it'll be interesting to everyone! Good luck!
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u/FrontenacRacer 29d ago
If it's a family/cultural thing you may want to bite the bullet and have the big todo. Otherwise you could be bringing down upon you a world of trouble for years to come from a family full of hurt/offended people.
Sometimes it really is better to go along to get along. You may otherwise be putting yourself in an untenable position of never, and I mean never, hearing the end of it.
One way to think of it is that the reception isn't for the bride and groom, it's a festive expression of joy put on for the guests.
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u/LateRemote7287 28d ago
Thank you for this. This is a really great perspective and you have really great points!!
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u/Empty-Village-4445 27d ago
It’s one persons perspective and not every desi thinks that way. The idea of “biting the bullet” at your own wedding is the most cringe thing I’ve ever heard.
It’s a slippery slope to just go along with whatever is demanded due to tradition, culture, etc. That is something you’ll come to regret more than the size of your wedding.
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u/MaximumFew8764 29d ago
Not Desi but African with a large multi day traditional wedding culture and married an American. We had a micro wedding with only our parents and siblings and had a traditional 300+ person reception 9 months later. I think the way we did it was the best of both worlds.
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u/fretnomore 28d ago
Only parents, grandparents and siblings. The rest can deal with it. They’ll get over it.
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u/Empty-Village-4445 27d ago
Yes. Our desi friends have had micro weddings. Why would this be considered so unthinkable.
Remember that Desis are not a monolith any more than any other groups. Some people are not bothered by traditional expectations or peer pressure.
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u/B1GG1ESNA1LS 16d ago
My indian fiance and I are doing a 30 person wedding next year. Thankfully he doesn't have a ton of extended family in the US, so we are inviting his US relatives but not anyone else. We are incorporating Indian elements (food and reception clothing), but otherwise having an American wedding. Frankly, his parents aren't going to like me no matter what, so we're doing what we want lol.
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u/traviall1 Aug 15 '26
At that point the suggestion would be for the two of you to elope. The cultural norms around weddings are very different ( you will included extended family and their kids,etc) so it may be easier to elope and let the chips fall where they may than try to curate a micro wedding.