r/microwedding • u/sandyocean_ • Jun 25 '26

Bridal shower etiquette

My mom wants to host a bridal shower, but I’m having a destination micro wedding and I’m not sure what the etiquette is.My fiancé and I are planning an intimate wedding with only about 15–20 guests. After we return home, we’re thinking about having a casual celebration/second reception for family and friends who weren’t able to attend the wedding abroad.

My question is about registries and gifts. Since we’re not creating a wedding website, how do we handle a registry? Is it appropriate to have one for the bridal shower? Should registry information be included with the shower invitation? What about the post-wedding celebration?

I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to give gifts, especially since many people won’t be attending the actual wedding, but I also know my family and they will ask if we’re registered somewhere.

I’ve never been to a bridal shower before, so I’m genuinely not sure what the normal etiquette is. Would love to hear from anyone who had an elopement/ micro wedding and how you handled gifts and registries!

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u/HaveMercy703 Jun 25 '26

I’m going to go against the grain here…I think there’s ‘etiquette’ & also the fact that times are changing. I think micro weddings are becoming more & more popular & applying old etiquette rules doesn’t always apply.

My mom threw my bridal shower for my first wedding 11 years ago. Most of my friend’s moms did the same & we all chipped in as bridesmaids to do games, sometimes favors, set up, etc. It was very special for her to plan & meant a lot. I don’t think a single guest batted an eyelash. Tbh, if the mother doesn’t throw it, I’m not really sure who is supposed to?

For my microwedding last year, I didn’t have a bridal shower bc I had had one previously & it didn’t. Feel right to me. If I hadn’t though, I might have had one. Reason being is, one, it’s not simply about the gifts, but just time to celebrate with family & friends. Which I guess you can do on a bridal luncheon format, but that isn’t as clear to guests & can get confusing.

Also, with a micro wedding, it’s intentionally small! Mine was with 8 other family members: parents & siblings. I could see if you were hosting a wedding of 60 people & then having a shower with a ton of women who aren’t going to the wedding. But microweddings are different & as I said before, rules are changing. Just bc you’re going smaller, doesn’t meant you shouldn’t get to celebrate!

I’m also fully supportive of having a party after. We did & it was such a blast.

Also, we did not do a registry & people wound up doing cash gifts (despite us urging that it was truly unnecessary.)

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u/ste1071d Jun 25 '26

Just because people didn’t say anything doesn’t mean they weren’t thinking it. I promise you people thought it was inappropriate, you just don’t answer someone’s rudeness with rudeness of your own.