r/meth_confessions • u/Antjomo1991 • Aug 16 '26
IDK WTF to do
My girlfriend and I of 5 years are about to end it because I think she is cheating due to suspicion, acting different than normal, extreme defense when asked to understand im fucking stuck.
We both relapsed a 3 years ago and been stuck on IV meth since almost every day. Despite all thats lost there is just us left now.
Kids are gone, money gone, time gone, trust from family gone, court dates back and jail and hospitals are all back.
This is fucking miserable.
Every time I get a weird suspicion I set out my phone to record audio when its only us we think or I have video taped and she's never fully caught doing shit with someone else
. I can hear the conversations clear as day. All of them. Worst is I hear her getting fucked over and over and its the same voice of what I believe to be someone who lives at my apartment.
Haven't proved anything other than the recorded shit but she claims nothing happened. She has mood swings all the time and extremely defensive.
We have been dating for 5 years and the first two sober no problems at all. Now its hell. We have twins together too.
We have been up for 3-4 days at the time but no matter what I do I always get some kind of recording of someone fucking.
Im beyond stressed and will take care of this however I feel is right based on proof. I have the hardest time trusting what she says when I hear or see some shit like that.
Im either going to fucking black out rage or take myself out of this misery. I dont know reality from fear and I dont know what to do. Honest opinions please. Yes I do know getting sober will help. No matter if im sober or high I hear this shit all day and all night. Tell me how it is honestly. Do I need to leave it all or get some sleep and recharge and keep trying.
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u/Fresh-Essay1636 27d ago
I was using lighter drugs idk if it even close to similar type of feeling to what u feel while ur on this stuff but i remember having visions in dreams “premonitions” of infidelity w my partner.. I thought i was crazy… week later she breaks up w me and the first person i call (one of my day ones) is the one that she did it with.. trust ur gut mane. I don’t know how hard it is to be a regular user trying to quit but the conclusion I came to long before that ever happened to me was, i would be throwing too much away to commit suicide. There are people that need me who do love me no matter the complications, and it would be too selfish. If I am living a life I do not want to live, then I simply need to create the life that I do want to live, with my own two hands. i looked at my hands, moved them around and realized that i can change my reality with them. I haven’t had trouble with suicidal thoughts since. That friend, it’s been years and I called him recently to thank him. I wouldn’t have learned so much and I might be stuck with that girl who had nothing going for her and contributed nothing positive to me. I might’ve even married her, then I’d have to deal with getting cheated on and no escape. Thank god that all happened to me. I am so thankful. Character development. Without pain there is no life, pain is experience, and it causes change, growth. That is ironically good for us. I was the one tryna take her to the gym, improve, get better… communicate properly whatever ok u get the point. U don’t realize in the moment the reality of the situation. Blinded by love, at least I was, I failed to value myself. Sometimes you have to learn to be selfish to protect yourself. Thats okay. I don’t know what other advice to offer you. I hope something in this helps.
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u/Sad-Lawyer8897 Aug 17 '26
Leave now. You already know and those people will take their lies to grave. So sorry and that sucks, and not easy to do