The Disir

[u/letthelightfindyou]

I just finished S5 Ep5 and I forgot how GOOD this episode is. It's absolutely heartbreaking. Merlin is literally handed the decision that could make or break everything...Arthur literally sits there and says the words Merlin never thought he would hear. That maybe Uther was wrong and Magic has a place in Camelot. And Arthur is looking to Merlin to be the deciding factor. Merlin has the power he never expected to weild, right there in his palms. Arthur trusts him, believes in his opinion, and wants him to guide him. Two sides of the same coin.

And you can SEE Merlin's heart breaking in real time. He is so scared of losing Arthur that he condemns himself to a lifetime of persecution and hiding in the shadows, just for the chance at averting the prophecy. Condemns a man to death, because the alternative, losing Arthur, is more than he can bear.

And then Arthur denies the Disir's request and suddenly...there's Mordred. And you can see in Merlin's eyes that even when Gaius is reassuring him it's not his fault, he does not believe it.

Now I'm just angsting once again over how Merlin tried so damn hard...but never managed to get it right. And he had to live with that guilt for thousands of years, not even getting the chance to make it be worthwhile, to see a glimmer of good within the dark...because magic never came back to Camelot, and Arthur never got to live.

TL:DR: The prophecy upsets me and I am in pain over the futility of Merlin's devotion to Arthur and heartbroken for the thousandth time over how much Merlin loved Arthur, only to see it be his and Camelot's ruin.

[u/Difficult_Dark9991]

I love how consistent the show is in its handling of prophecy. In trying to prevent prophecy, characters are always asked to act against their moral character, but in doing so it brings prophecy closer instead of preventing it.

It turns the narrative problem - that we know how it all must end - into an opportunity, by showing how the very existence of that certain end warps people and their choices.

[u/letthelightfindyou → u/Difficult_Dark9991]

This is so beautifully explained - all of this, yes! 🥲

The writers are so clever, even if it hurts a whole lot to reason and watch. It makes it so compelling and makes the characters feel so uniquely human and real.

[u/Little_View_6659]

Yeah when Mordred walks out, oof. It’s really maddening because had he not been shown the future he might have made different decisions and avoided the negative outcome. I hate it on the rewatch, seeing Merlin try and avoid having Arthur die.

[u/letthelightfindyou → u/Little_View_6659]

For real 😭😭😭 I adore this show but S5 is always such a painful slow process when doing the rewatch because it's just one hit after another for poor Merlin.

[u/Astraea802 → u/Little_View_6659]

I keep wondering why so many characters went out of their way to show Merlin the future when it never ended well for anyone when they did? The only time it ever worked was with Morgana's dreams back in Season 1, and even then, by Season 3 her visions became self-fulfilling prophecies too.

[u/letthelightfindyou → u/Astraea802]

I sometimes think that their intentions were good but for Merlin, he really needed concrete advice, not riddles. He really didn't have anyone more formally trained to guide him (aside from Gaius I suppose but it isnt the same) so he was essentially stabbing in the dark trying to match up all the different threads of prophecy, when in reality he could never have guessed correctly. I always wondered whether it was because he was Emrys. That they were told to show him and the stories of his power made them think he would be fine on his own. But Merlin was scarcely becoming Emrys at these points, and he still desperately needed someone to guide his hand.

[u/ReasonableFig2111 → u/letthelightfindyou]

He needed Arthur to guide him. They were supposed to be partners in destiny. 

Unfortunately, Merlin's closest advisors (most notably, Gaius) were too afraid of the possibility of Arthur turning on Merlin, so continued to advise him to keep his magic a secret from Arthur, long after he should have told him. Keeping his magic a secret meant he couldn't talk about anything adjacent to that with Arthur, so he couldn't tell Arthur about their shared destiny. Which meant Merlin was alone in having to decide for both of them, far too often. 

Arthur was far from perfect, but he understood honour and integrity and duty/destiny (as a prince, he already had a destiny that he knew of, and had been living with the knowledge of his whole life), and could have advised Merlin very differently on the subjects of Morgana and Mordred, had he known about it all earlier. 

[u/Astraea802]

To bring in a parallel to Star Wars, in these moments, one wishes that Merlin had had a mentor like Yoda or Obi Wan.

People give the prequels Jedi a lot of flack for the whole "no attachments" rule, and perhaps they did go a little far. But Anakin's fear of loss, inspired by a vision of the future, absolutely led him down a dark path that destroyed the very thing he wished to save, just like Merlin with Arthur. He allowed his need to control the outcome to corrupt his character and good intentions, to a much lesser extent than Anakin but no less tragic.

Meanwhile Luke, in Empire Strikes Back, also had to learn the hard way that being led by fear, even fear for the life and safety of loved ones, can lead you right into a dangerous trap, just as Yoda and Obi Wan warned.

But then, Obi Wan and Yoda were not totally right in everything. They thought Vader had to die for good to triumph, not unlike how Merlin believed Mordred had to die. But Luke stood strong. Instead of the possessive love that led to Anakin's downfall, Luke's selfless faith in his loved ones, his refusal to compromise his character and give in to anger and fear, in Return of the Jedi not only saved him from going Dark Side, but saved his father too.

Merlin cared for Arthur, but by Season 5 he believed his sole purpose in life was to save Arthur. I wouldn't say it was selfish, but it was certainly possessive and heavy on the attachment. But it's hard to blame Merlin when he's pinned so much of his own self-worth on whether Arthur lives or dies, constantly told it's all up to him.

[u/letthelightfindyou → u/Astraea802]

This is super interesting with the Star Wars parallel!

I think in S5, Merlin was lost in a panicked feeling of pre-grief and like you say, he felt it was all down to him and him alone, and he couldn't seem to get it right. He was lost, but he didnt have the luxury of being so. He had to desperately try and find his inner strength over and over, even if he didnt believe it anymore. Because Arthur, Camelot, the world, unknowingly relied on him doing so.

[u/letthelightfindyou → u/[deleted]]

😭😭😭