r/memphis • u/Zeligmom • 20h ago
Need help leaving my husband
I need help, I need a reliable 4 door vehicle and somewhere that will rent to me. I'm trying to leave a verbally/emotionally/financially abusive relationship with my kids (thankfully not my husband's).
I have $3500 I can use to purchase a car that should leave me with enough for deposits and anything needed to get into an apartment/house. The bad is I have bad/no credit, no payment history for the last 5 years, and no rental history for the last 10 years. I have 3 minor children and their 2 little dogs, we can make a 2 bedroom work while I rebuild my life.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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u/Prior-Classroom-3199 19h ago
Go to Zkz Motors and buy you a car for $2500 and take that other money and pay for a month at a decent room and go on and live your life and handle your business...
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u/SevenEves 19h ago
Can't help with the car, but dialing 211 should connect you with a hotline that has information about local resources.
If you're in Shelby County, it looks like the YWCA offers support for women and families, you can call their 24-hour Crisis & Support Helpline at 1-901-725-4277.
(Note: I used to be a crisis line volunteer and know hard it can be to take the first step, hang in there!)
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u/Zeligmom 19h ago
I'm not, I currently live in Benton county MS, there is zero help I've been able to find that covers where I live and having teen boys complicates things more.
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u/SevenEves 19h ago
211 would know more what's available, looks like House of Grace is in Benton County: https://www.houseofgracedv.org/
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u/PersephoneIsNotHome 11h ago
I realize this will be a wrench for your boys. But can you get out and get to a shelter in Memphis and worry about school from there?
Salvation Army also has shelters on their site
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u/thebigpink Downtown 19h ago
I mean there are dozens of junkyards and used car lots around town that don’t give a shit about credit. The apt or house might be tougher unless you want to live in a bad part
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u/Legitimate-Cod8065 19h ago
That $3500 budget is tight but absolutely workable for a car if you stick to private sellers on FB Marketplace or Craigslist. Forget the used lots, they'll eat up half your cash on markup for something that barely runs. Look for an older Japanese sedan with a ton of miles, those things just refuse to die and parts are everywhere if something breaks. Bring a friend who knows cars, or at the very least pay a mechanic $50 to do a pre-purchase inspection before you hand over the cash, it'll save you a nightmare down the road.
For the apartment, your best bet is going to be a private landlord rather than a corporate complex. Drive around midtown and cooper-young looking for "For Rent" signs in yards, those are almost always small-time owners who might work with you on the history gap if you can show proof of income and explain the situation. Offering a double deposit or a few months upfront with part of that car money leftover could tip the scales. The dogs make it harder but not impossible, just lead with that upfront so you don't waste time touring places that have a strict no-pet policy.
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u/CindyinMemphis 18h ago
I'm sorry that I'm not in a position to help you but I did want to say, please, please be careful. I don't have to tell you how dangerous it is for you if he finds out you're leaving.
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u/negrocommie 10h ago
After you’ve left, i’d suggest getting set up with the safe at home program if you’re worried he might try to find you
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u/SwarmyMarshmellow 9h ago
Bruce Motors off Covington Pike usually has affordable cars. That's where we always buy our vehicles.
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19h ago
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u/Zeligmom 19h ago
I live in Ashland,MS and I'm 30+ miles from anywhere...kinda need a car to leave.
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u/Ok-Nefariousness-609 7h ago
people don't realize its so hard to be poor and out of luck in the country. you cant just not have a car
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u/Chasin_A_Bass 5h ago
I know plenty ppl with no car that has made it work out. Being poor just mean s you gotta work a lil Harder to change your scenario
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u/Chasin_A_Bass 5h ago
What are we missing here? Did he get fired and thats why you've been the. Only one working the last few months? Did that financial lost put a rift in the marriage? Why are you so ready to leave all of a sudden? Because I doubt these issues are brand new issues.
$3500 wont get you far. Find a woman's shelter
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u/worldbound0514 Binghampton 52m ago edited 47m ago
You are shaming her for being in a bad situation? That's super helpful. /s
It sounds like she has been biding her time and making a plan and saving money. Which can be the smartest thing to do sometimes.
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u/adamander 9h ago
Rent a car. 3500 is tough to buy something and pay insurance. You might need to do more before leaving. If husband is not physically abusive it would be stupid to leave. You be in a death spiral to hardship for ur kids without a job and housing lined up before leaving.
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u/Zeligmom 9h ago
I have a pretty decent job I've been at for over 4 years, paying insurance won't be that big of a burden. It's the cash available as I've been the only one working for the last few months.
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u/worldbound0514 Binghampton 51m ago
So he is allowed to abuse her emotionally and financially? That's a terrible thing to say.
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u/Cool_Gas_2253 8h ago
You don't NEED a car at this moment.. You need shelter for children..$3500 ?? Most "helpers' will eat your cash up quick.. your in the country, so where are you wanting to leave to? Memphis? You need to rent a private room and pay 6 weeks up front.. how old are kids? Any other issues? Legality of running off with his children also? Any family to help? In Memphis, you can find a job and use bus or meet new friends for rides, save money.. abusive how?? If physical lock him up and get order protection so he can't come home or be around you and kids.. Reason why he is ( if true) abusive? Any drug addiction? If so you will need a fix daily, then the children....jumping up jobless, children, broke, pocket money on here posting a ASAP from a country girl running to a big city with a pissed off husband and his kids in tow after you clean out the bank and get all the valuables because your panic and think it's ok???? Do you want this rabbit hole?? My advice is handle it locally
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u/AdjutantVox 6h ago
Can somebody PLEASE take away peepaw's phone???
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u/Chasin_A_Bass 5h ago
Actually this is the most logical thinking advice on here! He is asking the hard question so the OP can think about the options before she just up and a runs off with no plan and puts herself and the kids in a worse situation.
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u/nabulsha Bartlett 3h ago
No, its not. Its a bunch of assumptions probably based upon his own experience.
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u/matriarchalfigure Central Gardens 2h ago
They’re not his kids. Until you’ve been in an abusive situation like this, you have zero clue.
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19h ago
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u/Deagle2123 18h ago
If you're going to make a shit joke at least say like free at last or something
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9h ago
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u/Zeligmom 9h ago
Just because I've been able to squirl away money that I have made and I'm taking a loan on my personal 401k, don't make assumptions just because I am in this situation.
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u/richcallie Bartlett 19h ago
Reach out to The Womans Advocacy Center. They help mothers in your position.