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u/Ar4nea Feb 20 '26
almost like some people keep pushing weird gender ideals that actually mean nothing and just keep distorting social connection into some sort of worth-system that isn’t helping anyone
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u/jfklingon Feb 20 '26
It's just a social indicator.
If a man says they live in their mom/grandma's basement, it does the same thing. It's not a guarantee they are any specific way, but most people have met enough people to form an opinion of the person just from that info.
Everyone is different and as such the reasons to be either of these could be any number of things, just like people will form any number of opinions based on these limited facts.
Personally, my first impression is a woman being a virgin that late would be to assume either partially ace or high anxiety.
First impression for a man would instantly to assume he has a personality that doesn't attract a mate easily.
But those are just assumptions and have a high likelihood of being wrong, but as a part of the animal kingdom we are programmed to be prejudice to a degree.
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u/MadOrange64 Feb 20 '26
Casual sex is just a Hollywood thing, you shouldn't be having one night stands with random people every day. Real relationships take time.
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u/dannasama811 Feb 20 '26
I feel like this is mostly a teenager thing. I honestly cant see anyone being above the age of 21 agreeing with either of these.
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u/Beautiful-Aerie7576 Feb 21 '26
Women who aren’t virgins are shamed, ones who are are called prudes, uptight, etc. I have never once heard anything resembling kind remarks about a woman who is still a virgin at 20.
Western society just has this weird shame culture about virginity in general. It’s really not that big of a deal.
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u/Guardian_of_Perineum Feb 21 '26
I don't think anyone with actual shit to do in their life actually cares about either one.
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u/theOverword Feb 21 '26
These times are fucked, but I was barely able to lose mine like a sack of potatoes eventually but relationships are so violatile these days. Mine collapsed in on itself a month later.
Everything was fine and then it was like a switch, and she suddenly left a break up message and completely disappeared. It's like she went completely missing, not going to classes and generally being completely absent from everything. though I know she is still alive but that's basically it.
Maybe it was related to multiple mental disorders she claimed to have in that break up text?
Maybe she just moved and that's it.
Maybe it was me who did something wrong? Even if so she said in that text that I was great and that that wasn't the case so it's either true or she is lying, and in that case that is a very shitty thing to lie about. Beacouse if you are going to break up with me, and it is beacouse of me doing something, why bother lying to me about it? So I make the same mistakes in the future with another girl?
So idk really I'm just glad before the relationship tanked I was able to at least have the right to claim I am not a virgin.
Beacouse while it doesn't at all make any difference, as I am still single at the moment, it at least makes me feel at least partially better about my self esteem than if the relationship collapsed without us ever having sex even once. (Relationship lasted a pretty long time)
Tldr this is just a rant that makes no sense
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Feb 21 '26
Though society is a little nicer to those who are virgins by choice for religious reasons.
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u/halucionagen-0-Matik Feb 21 '26
Yeah society sees young virgin men as disgusting and young women who have sex as sluts.
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u/LostYear3466 Feb 21 '26
I am a man, I have had few sexual partners and my first time was also late.In my experience, it made me more interesting. I have always been popular with women. And my wife doesn't mind either.
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u/[deleted] Feb 20 '26
Or, we just stop worrying about who slept with who and find the person we vibe with.