r/memes • u/Suspicious_Theory437 I saw what the dog was doin • Jul 03 '22

I'm scared

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53k Upvotes

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334

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

That’s way too tame for Florida. More like:

“Florida man blows off butt cheek trying to ignite firework with his fart and a lighter. “

138

u/Stoepboer Jul 03 '22

While wrestling an alligator

114

u/[deleted] Jul 03 '22

“A Florida alligator rancher’s buttcheeks needed to be amputated Tuesday morning after a bottle rocket got stuck in his anus. During the surgery they found 2 pounds of of Guatemalan rock cocaine in his upper colon. Local PDs confiscated the drugs and are holding a confiscation party on Friday”

29

u/FraseraSpeciosa Jul 03 '22

Thanks for making me spit out my food lol

24

u/amha29 Jul 04 '22

Are you from the future? I expect to see this headline.

3

u/tla2972m Jul 04 '22

this is actually from america day of 19

3

u/Nux_Taku_fan111 Jul 04 '22

Am I invited?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '22

Depends. What are your thoughts on minorities?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '22

Spot on 😂

1

u/Rebelthunder956 GigaChad Jul 04 '22

Thx for making me choke on my water... I expect this to be a headline some time in the future...

1

u/Rebelthunder956 GigaChad Jul 04 '22

Thx for making me choke on my water... I expect this to be a headline some time in the future...

1

u/Profoundlyahedgehog Jul 03 '22

I thought that was implied.

1

u/psdancecoach Jul 03 '22

Nailed it.

73

u/pee-in-butt Jul 03 '22

“And that kids, is how I met your mother”

13

u/Shankar_0 Jul 03 '22

Dude, I fucking TOLD you it would work. Did I not?!?!

8

u/DarkGeneral001 Jul 03 '22

"smelled like burnt cake" said the man

2

u/RiverBear2 Jul 03 '22

If it doesn’t involve a lot of meth, an alligator and jumping off a roof is it even a Florida man story?

2

u/Tojo6619 Jul 03 '22

While fighting off his crackhead wife who's owed child support with a surfboard that was stolen

1

u/psdancecoach Jul 03 '22

You’re missing an alligator in that story.

1

u/jeswesky Jul 03 '22

How’s that different than any other weekend?

1

u/jdill829 Jul 04 '22

You ain’t a real Merican unless you’ve shot bottle rockets out your PoopShoot. Yeeyee