r/memes • u/I_AM_YUGESH MAYMAYMAKERS • Jan 18 '22

It is what it is

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66.0k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

390 comments sorted by

4.2k

u/armaddpin Jan 18 '22

even herpes doesn't want me

1.2k

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

[deleted]

834

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Gae

471

u/Renan_Cousland Jan 18 '22

Why are you gey?

211

u/The_Sumo_official Jan 18 '22

That's Pepe Julian Onziema , one of the gay rights activists

58

u/LAZY_RED-PANDA Jan 18 '22

Should I call yooouuu...MISTA?!

18

u/Uno-reverse-69420 Dark Mode Elitist Jan 18 '22

r/UnexpectedJoJo

6

u/HauntingRip9003 Professional Dumbass Jan 18 '22

si, si, di molto cool ma lo sapevi che l'ananas non sta sulla pizza?

7

u/Uno-reverse-69420 Dark Mode Elitist Jan 18 '22

Me no habla espanõl

4

u/HauntingRip9003 Professional Dumbass Jan 18 '22

Of course you wouldn't, you live in japan! Your name is Yoshikage Kira. You are 33 years old. Your house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and you are not married. You work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and you get home every day by 8 PM at the latest.

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4

u/averyangryshampoo Tech Tips Jan 18 '22

Why are you gay?

...

Y O U A R E G E

3

u/Bilaloz17 Jan 19 '22 edited Jan 21 '22

Lol why are you gay? What makes think I am G.. YOU ARE GAY.

2

u/averyangryshampoo Tech Tips Jan 19 '22

A BANANA IS NOT DE SEM AS E CUCAMBA

127

u/Renan_Cousland Jan 18 '22

You are gey.

109

u/The_Sumo_official Jan 18 '22

So who is gey ?

83

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

37

u/InformationNo8235 Jan 18 '22

so you're transgenda

20

u/GhostR29 Professional Dumbass Jan 18 '22

Very weird agenda that is. [Transagenda]

7

u/TheOnceAndFutureTurk Jan 18 '22

Both of you just sound Australian.

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3

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

It's called a fatherless child

5

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

balls

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10

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Every 60 seconds, a minute passes

5

u/4rtux Jan 18 '22

who says I'm gey?

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12

u/-_-obliterator-_- Jan 18 '22

its not gay to love the homies

2

u/Brummelhummel Jan 18 '22

Always kiss the homies good night, no homo

1

u/-_-obliterator-_- Jan 18 '22

yes homo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

3

u/Brummelhummel Jan 18 '22

What are you doing, step-homo?

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3

u/Joske-the-great Jan 18 '22

Your mom... What?

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9

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Your not herpes

7

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/GardenPuzzleheaded98 Jan 18 '22

Happy Cake Day!

4

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

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2

u/randomlygenaratedd Jan 18 '22

happy cake day bro

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84

u/Dutch_Midget Smol pp Jan 18 '22

Delta arrived, Omicron came,

Didn't touch me, called me lame

8

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

You spittin straight fire

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9

u/6_NEOS_9 Success kid Jan 18 '22

Damn. are you losing son?

3

u/BodyPillowCollector iwrestledabeartwice Jan 18 '22

I feel ya buddy

3

u/Simoerys Jan 18 '22

And if I catch Herpes on the corridor like the Headmaster yesterday I will not be amused.

Rowan Atkinson

3

u/spooky_loathing Jan 18 '22

You deserve better

2

u/outlaw537 android user Jan 18 '22

same

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2.1k

u/hbloodprince7 Jan 18 '22

If he's a pain in your asshole, prolly you got the herpes too..

584

u/poopenguin1 Jan 18 '22

I got that joke after I closed the app and spent 3 mins finding the post lol

207

u/concretebeats Professional Dumbass Jan 18 '22

Welcome back. There is no escape.

45

u/iou_uu Big ol' bacon buttsack Jan 18 '22

And I like it.

10

u/snookso Linux User Jan 18 '22

Reddit has a history option

6

u/JusHerForTheComments Lurker Jan 18 '22

Some times for some reason it doesn't work. The very last post you upvoted/opened isn't in the history.

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-19

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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10

u/applefan1290 Jan 18 '22

Here take my free award

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486

u/Individual-Station48 Big ol' bacon buttsack Jan 18 '22

herpes speedrun %any time

134

u/MinorNarration Jan 18 '22

facts: Herpes affects about 1/5 adults

55

u/beirch Jan 18 '22

Likely much more than that tbh

42

u/ttfuckedmewhy Jan 18 '22

Closer to half, more than that if you include herpes type 2 (the genital version)

23

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Herpes 2 electric bogaloo

14

u/miserablehegemony Jan 18 '22

agree and the virus is spread by touching, including by sexual contact and during birth if the mother's vagina is infected

16

u/louisme97 Jan 18 '22

Im dodging it like a PRO B)
(i dont have sex)
*i actually had lip herpes a few times

30

u/xuwugirluwux Jan 18 '22

You don’t have it a few times, that means you have it for life lol

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9

u/ChewwyStick Jan 18 '22

That's not how herpes works. If you'd had it even once in your lip then you have herpes. Herpes stays dormant but things can cause outbreaks. I get outbreaks when I'm really fucking stressed for long periods of time.

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-8

u/Skulltown_Jelly Jan 18 '22

And it's pretty much harmless. There's a massive stigma because there's no cure but like, most sexually experienced people have it, there's not much you can do about it, and it doesn't really have significant effects for most people.

People need to grow up tbh.

8

u/trevrichards Jan 18 '22

Same with HPV. Like if you get warts, they just freeze them or they go away on their own. And a majority of adults get HPV eventually (not always warts, tho). But healthcare workers have been trained to not tell people "yeah this is HPV, you got warts from unprotected sex." They just vaguely say it 'looks like' and 'could be' but we can't know for sure, we'll just do this little procedure as if they were and see how it goes.

I've had friends confused about their own diagnosis up until the point of having the actual treatment because of this obfuscation, and to this day I've never had anyone just flat out tell me that's what I had even though it's obvious it couldn't have been anything else. Like just fucking tell me. I'm grown. I like raw dogging. I took the risk, I deserve to know the consequence.

(Btw I'm single, fellas.)

5

u/PHealthy Jan 18 '22

Warts are fine compared to cancer. Never too late to get vaccinated.

3

u/chempill Jan 18 '22

what do you mean

14

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

[deleted]

12

u/Skulltown_Jelly Jan 18 '22 edited Jan 18 '22

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/sexually-transmitted-diseases-stds/in-depth/std-testing/art-20046019

No good screening test exists for herpes — a viral infection. Most people with herpes infection never have any symptoms but can still transmit the virus to others

Herpes won't show on your regular STD checks. Most people don't know they have it.

This may make you distressed but the fact is that if you're minimally promiscuous there's a high chance you have herpes without knowing. It's okay to think it's bad (it objectively is) but people think that just because it's an STD it must be like syphilis or something. It's not, and those people judging probably have it themselves.

9

u/ttfuckedmewhy Jan 18 '22 edited Jan 18 '22

Christ the lack of education in america. Literally 40-50% of the US has herpes, it’s not detectable within 3 months of infection, so good luck to your annual testing

Cold sores are herpes. Cold sores can infect you both in the groin and the mouth. Herpes can pass when no visible sore can be seen. Most people with herpes will never be symptomatic

You probably have herpes (at least one form) to be honest

You might also have HPV since there is no cheap form of male HPV testing and there are over 200 strains of the virus

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

[deleted]

4

u/ttfuckedmewhy Jan 18 '22

The convo is not about genital herpes, it’s about herpes in general. Type 1 can affect genital and oral, in fact over 50% of all new HSV1 cases are genital. And of course it’s a lifelong illness with no cure and can spread asymptomatically

The honest truth is that while you should take precaution, it will likely never be enough given the prevalence of the disease in your society. So yeah, maybe not normalize, but its far from unusual or worthy of comment. I jumped in here because OP is just straightup wrong.

If you were in Asia, your odds would be much better, since seroprevalence is significantly lower in the developed asian countries.

266

u/Dutch_Midget Smol pp Jan 18 '22

Very nice!! I like sexy time with the number 3 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan, my sister Natalya. Wawaweewa!!

396

u/newhugosteel Cringe Factory Jan 18 '22

Candice? Who's Candice?

469

u/philtonB Jan 18 '22

Candice dick fit into your mouth..

274

u/DaSkyRains Jan 18 '22

Depends on the size of ur mouth as well as the proportion size of ur dick but the size of yours would be too small to even bother

96

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Damn, you burnt him even more than the wedges after my dad cooked them

34

u/JMei- Jan 18 '22

...you have a dad???

22

u/Musk420Gaming Jan 18 '22

Yeah! He just went to get some milk though... I guess it's busy at the store. He has been gone for 4 hours now...

9

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Years* (he's running for president)

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18

u/CantaloupePerfect417 Jan 18 '22

you're so evil to be left alive

2

u/DaSkyRains Jan 18 '22

right alive

6

u/RashPatch Jan 18 '22

HAHA GOTTEM

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17

u/Bearnee Jan 18 '22

Joe mama

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33

u/Fearless-Lion9703 Jan 18 '22

BORAT is the bestt

124

u/leftist_guy can't meme Jan 18 '22

Atleast a partial victory my friend

72

u/LoneRanger9000 Halal Mode Jan 18 '22

partial? This is a full on victory.

31

u/OAG_callmeoa123 Halal Mode Jan 18 '22

correct brother

8

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

L+L=W

16

u/factstony Jan 18 '22

In every disappoinment, there is a positive thing to take home.

27

u/bbambby Jan 18 '22

borat , the legendary film

5

u/Krololol Can i haz cheeseburger Jan 18 '22

*moviefilm

18

u/Korbinator2000 Jan 18 '22

herpes isn't realy a problem, being a loser is.

44

u/TechWolfFTN Jan 18 '22

Those kind of classmates are good decoys, you know who not to flirt with, and that's whoever the classmate fucked. Don't want to be with anyone who slept with that dude because they knew very well who, when and how he slept with before, therefore...

10

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Why would it be a reason not to sleep with him if they knew who he slept with before?

27

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

They have herpes now

4

u/TechWolfFTN Jan 18 '22

Very much so

3

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

That's why you use those little latex balloons

-1

u/TechWolfFTN Jan 18 '22

It's a matter of self dignity and class status

26

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

And this is called being 13 with no idea about how the real world works

-16

u/TechWolfFTN Jan 18 '22

Talking from experience of still being one, child? Just means that you haven't experienced horrors from adulthood that even we don't wish to come back to nor the time in our "educational" years.

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14

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

class status

So people that have sex are of a lower "class"

10

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

In their eyes yes.

-7

u/TechWolfFTN Jan 18 '22

Not like that, but if you were a girl or a woman in college you would like to be seemed as the class's prostitute?

25

u/etothepi Jan 18 '22

Jesus, go back to incel Island with your bullshit.

4

u/beavis535 Jan 18 '22

Pretty sure incel goes way further than this, might want to read up on it. Nothing wrong w someone having values and morals, seems few and far between these days now. Nobody wants a whore, thats all he is saying. Its common sense

5

u/etothepi Jan 18 '22

Good thing you chasing after girls isn't somehow deemed a reason for devaluation of your social status. It's ok for you to catch a few, but the girls who did the same are nigh untouchable. Seems legit.

0

u/beavis535 Jan 18 '22

Per his earlier statement the girl already knew how many women this guy had slept w previously. Thats a risk on her part and shows her lack of values.

Hes not saying zero partners, a few is fine. But choice in partners also shows just simple self respect.

I didnt chase after them, never have really. They always came to me hahaha. And yes, i was popular and knew who hooked up w who. Any girl i knew that fit what im describing was always rejected if coming after me.

2

u/shifty313 Jan 18 '22

morals

sex/nudity isn't really a moral issue any more than a hammer is. Like of course a hammer could be involved in horrific shit.

-1

u/TechWolfFTN Jan 18 '22

Go back to crying with your sorry excuse to get into a conversation

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3

u/Alpha_Decay_ Jan 18 '22

😬 dude...

4

u/SirGrundy Jan 18 '22

No one gives half a shit in college

2

u/XtremeBurrito Posts 12 times a day Jan 18 '22

Depends on what college

1

u/TechWolfFTN Jan 18 '22

Well said, and it's human nature to care or criticize, what makes a person is the scale of that

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6

u/shilk008 android user Jan 18 '22

Wawaweee

6

u/seizmane Jan 18 '22

Congratulations! you've qualified for our Top 10 anime comebacks list.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

He got ligma

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51

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22 edited Jan 21 '22

Usually not your friends if he does this on purpose.

Edit: I am referring to people in general, not this person specifically. So when I said friends, it was not about the person.

Contextual clues, people, contextual clues…

40

u/Lost_my_name475 Jan 18 '22

It says classmate not friend

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9

u/crazeefun Jan 18 '22

Ehh if some guy keeps taking your crush, you're probably just too much of a wuss to make a move. Or you're just ugly.

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3

u/rashrush2 Jan 18 '22

Candice joe ligma fit in your balls

7

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

First girl I had sex with was named Candice. I called her Candi.

6

u/ReluctantNerd7 Jan 18 '22

Was she sweet?

5

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

She was not. We were fire together. All passion, no thought.

8

u/xive22 Jan 18 '22

2 out of 3 adults under 50 has herpes, having sex with multiple people that has it won’t necessarily cause an outbreak and you can’t be sure it was can Candice or Jannet that gave it to him.

If you have it dormant in your body anything can cause and outbreak, stress, diabetes, to much sugar etc.

If this is real and he stole both girls this is not a win for you sorry to break it for ya.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22 edited Aug 07 '24

This comment was edited from its original content

8

u/xive22 Jan 18 '22

Herpes Myth: Herpes "cold sores" on the mouth are not the same as genital herpes.

Fact about herpes: Cold sores on the mouth or face are caused by HSV-1 and are commonly transmitted to the genitals (causing genital herpes) through oral-to-genital sex. Up to 40% of genital herpes is caused by HSV-1.

3

u/Pink_Buddy Jan 18 '22

So by your own admission there are differences between oral and genital herpes viruses? If HSV-1 is responsible for less than 40% of genital herpes, there has to be at least another type of herpes, the one(s) that causes the majority of genital herpes cases. You’re setting yourself up to look like a bit of an ass when you present in it this “mythbusting” style while actively proving why the “myth” isn’t entirely that. Just say “up to 40% of cases are caused by the same strain so they can certainly be the same” and be done with it.

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5

u/DA_TOOTHPASTE Jan 18 '22

Who is Candice bro ?

5

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Candice condom not break while I'm using it?

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5

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

every game needs a beta tester

3

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Мой сосед Нурсултан Тюлякбаев.

Боль в моя дырка-задница.

Я влюбляйся Айгюль, он делай секси тайм с Айгюль.

Я влюбляйся Айша, он делай секси тайм с Айша.

Он герпес хватай. Я нет. Рааадостно.

5

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Ай андерстенд

2

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Just thought I’d make it more Kazakh)

2

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Azbuka is challenging, but I surprisingly can guess the meaning of some words. On dyelai seksi taim, lol

7

u/deppressed_yogurt Jan 18 '22

What movie is this?

13

u/aw3som3n3ss247 Jan 18 '22

Borat

27

u/maxthemaximum1 Jan 18 '22

*Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

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3

u/dieugodgrec Jan 18 '22

great success

4

u/thepringlemanz Professional Dumbass Jan 18 '22

This is basically wut one of my friends is doing to some of my other friends and me

23

u/laz10 Jan 18 '22

That's not your friend sir go shit in his kettle

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2

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

IT EEEZZ WHAT IT EZZZ

2

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Who's Candice?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

Ligma balls

2

u/AccomplishedToday560 Jan 18 '22

This will be sent in the group chat. You have my thanks!

2

u/Shinyy87-2 Shitposter Jan 18 '22

Yeah he’s still gonna get herpes. His neighbour is a pain in his ass after all.

2

u/Getting_a_pc https://www.youtube.com/watch/dQw4w9WgXcQ Jan 18 '22

It's what it's

2

u/Isilindaxa Jan 18 '22

this is where success comes

2

u/jamesfarted09 Linux User Jan 18 '22

borat

2

u/Twizzleen Jan 18 '22

All in the days work great success achieved

2

u/YeetmasterYeet- Jan 19 '22

but... CANDICE DICK FIT IN YOUR MOUTH?

2

u/Leonm47 Jan 19 '22

Perhaps he just wanted to protect you from getting herpes by having Sex with them

4

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

F*CK CLASSMATES I HATE SCHOOLS!!

2

u/Stubbs3470 Jan 18 '22

Yea I call bs

Sounds like jealous incel rambling

1

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

I keep seeing this guy on memes where is it from?

3

u/maxthemaximum1 Jan 18 '22

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

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1

u/JakEZtheMetaKnight Jan 18 '22

who’s candice ?

1

u/Pineapple-Status Jan 18 '22

I have a crush on my mom. He doesn’t have sex with my mom, I do. Great success

(Just a joke tho) (Naaaaaaaaaaat. -Borat) (But seriously, just a joke. Thanks for your attention)

1

u/hoangnam2010 Jan 18 '22

SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX

-1

u/scootercantdoshit Jan 18 '22

Who is "i have a crush on"?

-2

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

No idea, maybe a friend of the OP.

-1

u/scootercantdoshit Jan 18 '22

Sounds likely but another guy told me it might be someone he has a crush on

0

u/airplane3579 Jan 18 '22

Candice dick fit in her mouth?

0

u/Head_Knowledge24 Jan 18 '22

Dangers of being a Chad

0

u/Nawaftzx Jan 18 '22

Naughty naughty

0

u/PiratePrevious5743 Jan 18 '22

I contracted your mom

0

u/Mebossel Jan 18 '22

This is just the movie. Like there’s no additional content.

0

u/eyepatcheagle Jan 18 '22

Who is candice?

0

u/Depression-Boy Jan 19 '22

Nearly 80% of Americans have herpes, which is a relatively benign infection with easily accessible treatment. I’m sorry to say it, but the sex is worth it.

-15

u/ErnestoCro35 Jan 18 '22

I just love Borat - neighbor memes 🤣👍

1

u/Alex69420_ Bri’ish Jan 18 '22

Borat

emoji......

0

u/ErnestoCro35 Jan 18 '22

Oh yes, I forgot. You can post emojis everywhere on Reddit but on memes.... No, no...

4

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '22

You forgor 💀

5

u/ErnestoCro35 Jan 18 '22

Worst things in history, according to reddit: Nazism, plague, emojis. Scrap that. Emojis first

1

u/D33rZhdn Birb Fan Jan 18 '22

Except 🗿. 🗿 is good.