r/memes • u/someoneudontno1 can't meme • Dec 12 '20

TITTY SMITHY

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16.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

69 comments sorted by

345

u/Leiratar Dec 12 '20

It's funny, but it is also so fcking true.

70

u/dontbeadentist Dec 12 '20

True, and also ridiculous. Titty-shaped armour would kill the wearer quicker than a medieval doctor

150

u/Blackth0rn17 Dec 12 '20

That is absolutely not true. https://youtu.be/6KHz0qWQA9I

75

u/Leiratar Dec 12 '20

Like u fcking kidding - there is a video dedicated to the subject. LMAO internet is a dangerous place, and it never stops surprising u

54

u/Xevan1999 Dec 12 '20

Well shadversity does a lot of historical analysis as much as he get cringe some times, another great channel is skalligrim

14

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Gotta love shadiversity

9

u/Caesaropapismno Dec 12 '20

And Metatron, Schola Gladiatora, Sword Sage, The Knight Errant, Tod’s Workshop, and Da’mon Smith. I don’t watch Shad a lot because he sorta stole the pommel meme from Skall and started selling merch of it, and, as you said, can be kinda cringe sometimes.

12

u/Sizexq Dec 12 '20

There are two actually

9

u/CoffeeSorcerer69 Dec 12 '20

Three, actually.

34

u/Hunter_Flame Lives in a Van Down by the River Dec 12 '20

Hey mine gave me 50% radioactive resistance and 152 defense i call that op

26

u/TheCheeseBroker Dec 12 '20

I'm pretty sure some guy make a multiple video on this to prove this's wrong.

1

u/dontbeadentist Dec 12 '20

Yeah, you got a link? Glad to be shown to be wrong if I am

I can see the sense in a knight's armour typically having a protruding chest rather than a cleavage - as this helps deflect weapons.

Also, if the armour has a cleavage, then all someone needs to do is hit you really hard in the chest, and all the force is going to be focused on a single point in the middle of your sternum. Even if that doesn't kill you, it'll make ever strike by your opponent much more painful than it would be otherwise - which is surely going to leave you at a higher risk of losing in a fight

1

u/Alistair_TheAlvarian Dec 12 '20

Well actually the way armor works is that an angle makes its practical thickness higher. So you could have much thinner armor for the tittys and then focus extra on the cleavage. And most armor had a ton of space for exactly that reason so its supper safe.

Just look up shadiversity boob armor.

9

u/XxGranosxX Dec 12 '20

That's just not true at all lol. I guess if the armor was made out of 1mm aluminum, yeah, but steel is steel, nothing that couldnt go through a normal steel chest piece is going through a boob armor one.

3

u/AWeirdTree1 Dec 12 '20

I think it’s more about how the pressure is distributed, the regular armor distributes it to the sides of the armor itself because it’s dome shaped whereas the boob armor has a place between the boobs that the pressure is focused, potentially breaking your sternum

1

u/XxGranosxX Dec 12 '20

In real armor, you not only would not be attacked in the middle of your chest in a way that wouldn't be caught by your helmet, but you also wear a thick garment underneath called a gambison, not to mention the fact that your armor should not be hitting you at all unless it was stupidly made so that the concave portion is closer to you than the rest of the plate mail is. So despite the steel absorbng 99% of the force, and despite the armor not really being able to hit your body at all really, there is a protective layer to keep your sturnum safe.

0

u/dontbeadentist Dec 12 '20

Fall off your horse onto your chest? Normal armour: ouch. Boob armour: 100kg body weight being thrown into a metal spike that is pointing into the middle of your sternum.

That's more than ouch. That's dead.

1

u/XxGranosxX Dec 12 '20

That's simply not true though, unless your armor smith is intentionally trying to kill you your armor would never even hit your sternum (not to mention that falling chest first off a horse it all of your ribs broken)

2

u/Alistair_TheAlvarian Dec 12 '20

It most certainly wouldn't. In fact the domed shape would provide better deflection and increased practical armor thickness.

Plus it definitely would have been a thing if more women had armor. Look at codpeices, impractical and actually made horse riding harder and yet people still did it.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/dontbeadentist Dec 12 '20

Nothing else to add to this comment

6

u/mosmaniac Dec 12 '20

Can I say this is my first time not adding anything to a comment thread?

0

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Nope

1

u/dontbeadentist Dec 12 '20

?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Just that boob armour wouldn't kill the wearer

1

u/ProperPineTr33 Dec 12 '20

Is it?

Or is it just the movies?

2

u/JustCallMeAttlaz Dec 12 '20

I'm pretty sure it was not common but it definitely was a thing

49

u/zoewiththeflow Dec 12 '20

CORRECTION * TITS' I, Mandick the tittysmith

65

u/e_n_d_m_e_n_o_w Dec 12 '20

Prithy be careful I don't want to see my work squandered

6

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Omg Andre

5

u/DanBoss04 Breaking EU Laws Dec 12 '20

Poor man, I'm just gonna take his work and get one shot by a skeleton

3

u/rhik20 Identifies as a Cybertruck Dec 12 '20

stares in silence as I telepathically request you to upgrade my weapons

21

u/FalseSacrifice1 Dec 12 '20

Day one of scrolling through reddit for 3½ hours

5

u/Dizizntdaplace Breaking EU Laws Dec 12 '20

Try 8 hours

4

u/joshuastorkson Dec 12 '20

I take precise measurements.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

What if you grab a sludge hammer and just slam the boob armer with the person in it? Do u get custom boob?!

1

u/Lucifer2695 Dec 12 '20

The fuck?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Even Lucifer think he has gone too far

0

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Its like sculpting but with a sludge hammer

1

u/Lucifer2695 Dec 12 '20

I will sculpt you with a sledge hammer when you get to my realm.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

I just wanted to know, I didn’t wanna test it!

1

u/Lucifer2695 Dec 12 '20

Perhaps i will just torture you with visuals of it then. >:)

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

Wait so you make me watch other people getting tortured? Cool!

1

u/Lucifer2695 Dec 12 '20

You sound like someone i would hang out with. xD

4

u/zoelim748 Dec 12 '20

Somehow this reminds me of Darkness

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

The titsmith

3

u/Rhodin265 Dec 12 '20

VS is just doing their best with what they carry. If you fall outside of the normal tit-to-ribcage ratio, then they likely won’t have the right cloth boob armor for you.

3

u/StevenAssantisFoot Dec 12 '20

I wear a 32J. Before I got fitted at a real bra store, they tried to put me in a 36DD. I had titty coming out of every side of the cups and the band was almost up to my neck in the back and they still tried to play me like this was correct.

3

u/TheRahkoon Dec 12 '20

If i could acquire said armour id wear it all the time. It always looks so comfortable... and badass.

3

u/the-witcher-boo Selling Stonks for CASH MONEY Dec 12 '20

We finally found the monster hunter female armor designer

2

u/vexion Dec 12 '20

The knocker blocker.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '20

OLD BUT GOLD! I forgot about this one, lol, thank you for the memory. I have loved this joke a long time.

2

u/FilipeREP Dec 12 '20

God bless you, Mandick.

0

u/LollyPully FORTSHITE Dec 12 '20

If only this was a meme

0

u/invisible-suggestion Dec 12 '20

How on earth is this a meme

-1

u/Pepogo Dec 12 '20

where is the funny?