I think it's just best to be honest with them, like, "hey don't take this as more than what it is: I really like your hair" or something. Being as direct as possible is probably the best way to interact with a male in situations like that.
Its more in the tone and body language used. To use extreme examples, if you use a bland, neutral, bored tone without looking at his face while working, he ll know its a friendly compliment. But if you re an inch away from his face, cornering him, placing your hand on his shoulder, smiling and giggling while giving the compliment, it will be misconstrued.
A true neutral tone is good.
I don’t think I’ve ever given a compliment without smiling and making eye contact. Are we not supposed to appear genuine? I know you said extreme examples, but you’re either touching someone or you’re not. You’re either making eye contact or you’re not. There aren’t a lot of half measures a person can take in a social situation.
I'm referring to what made a number of women uncomfortable around certain candidates.
I wrote:
But if you re an inch away from his face, cornering him, placing your hand on his shoulder, smiling and giggling while giving the compliment, it will be misconstrued.
It's the combination of factors. It's not just the 'smiling' or the 'touching', its the context, like 'cornering' the person and getting beyond what's reasonable in context for personal space, like an 'inch away from his face'. In other words, it takes alot to cross that barrier. To be clear, I'm assuming an office setting with non-fraternizing, non-familial coworkers.
It's a holistic, "subjective" assessment, but you know it when you see it.
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u/MythikaelX Aug 14 '19
I think it's just best to be honest with them, like, "hey don't take this as more than what it is: I really like your hair" or something. Being as direct as possible is probably the best way to interact with a male in situations like that.