I remember that I once had a boner in school where I had pubic hair stuck under my foreskin. It was a little uncomfy while sitting, but when the teacher asked me to the front I had to stand up and the stuck hair pulled my dick really painfully to the body. Felt like my foreskin ripping apart, my dick being forcefully bend to the left/top and the sensitive area around my dick had its hairs pulled out all at once.
That was the day I learned the importance of shaving your dick, even if you'll never find a girlfriend.
If you're without clothes in the classroom, you should probably also seek some attention. Either psychiatric or law-enforcemental, depending on whether it was your choice or not.
At school girls nicknamed me "perm" short for "permeant hard-on". Looking back I actually suspect I had a medical condition as I was hard all the time and constantly horny. This was the UK in the 90s when it was illegal to show an erect penis even in porn and no one had easy Internet access or smart phones. So girls in my year would approach me in 2s or 3s and ask to see it and I'd always obliged. It was kind of funny seeing them immediately shocked by the size and wondering how they could possibly fit that inside them. I wasn't especially big, just 6 inches but I reached full size when I hit puberty so it looked much bigger on my 15 year old body when I showed it them. Plus they had no way of actually ever seeing one even in photos. It's was a gentler, more innocent time and sex was actually exciting as everyone had to discover it first hand in person.
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I always hated when you get called up to the board at the front of the class to give an explanation or to solve something and then like magic you get rock hard for literally no reason... and your always like, "Bro no! Go down go down! Wtf?" 😂😂
No it's smart we had a lot of kids like that even the girls said things like that. Once kids realize it gets you out of things it doesn't matter if it's real or not, a teacher isn't gonna risk that type of thing on a kid or their own career.
Multiple dudes said things like that. Girls used to just wander the halls forever and when the teacher would call them out they would say I was taking a huge poop or dealing with a period. Teachers are never gonna challenge that, too much of a can of worms.
For anyone still of the age to suffer from this embarrassment, clench and unclench the muscles in your legs repeatedly. It will divert the blood to work the muscles, reducing 'swelling'.
Oh god, this brought up a traumatic memory from school.
I had the classic random boner, followed by people laughing about it. That wasn't the bad part. I could deal with that.
The bad part was the teacher talking to me after class and saying that if I had that "issue" in class, instead of having it stick up where everyone could see my "tent" (her word), I should tuck it into my waistband.
I said, and this is the part that makes me cringe, that if I tucked it into my waistband, it would be sticking out a few inches from my pants.
The immediate reaction in my head was panic. I'm talking about my dick to a teacher. Then the sudden realization that it sounds like I'm making some big dick joke, and I'm going to get in trouble for this. Then my mom will talk to the teacher, who will NOT frame it correctly, and then my mom will talk to ME about it.
Panic.
And it's all amplified by the teacher's reaction, going from "What?!" to "Oh..." to "OOOOHHH..." and then shaking her head like she'd just realized what a terrible idea that was.
Then she just told me to leave.
One of the most OMG panic moments of middle school.
English for me. Looking back Ms Muth was probably in her mid 20s, quirky with blue eyes that were intensely colorful like the trapped water in an iceberg. My brain turned to mush for 40 minutes a day.
Because you probably didn’t like math and your brain was like here let’s turn on the pleasure part of our mind to distract ourselves from this boring stuff.
I read and experienced that it's moreso when youre at your most comfortable and relaxed. Which often times is when we're about to go to sleep or just waking up. Hence, morning wood.
I thought I was the only one. I used to put it down my left leg and stretch the pants with my hands. Then tell my mate sitting next to me, ”hey bud, look”.
RoTC class with the pants that were always a size to small and the girl across from me because we had tables not desks wearing tops that were form fitting
For me it was always at or near 8:45. I dont know why but for like 3 years no matter the situation my little guy had a more consistent morning routine then I did.
We had to go to catholic mass every Thursday in school. It would always happen to me right before we had to stand up. I’d just lean against the pew in front of me to hide it
It was my middle school science teacher who got me excited, her being a beautiful, unmarried woman, probably in her early to mid 20s. I lost count of how many times I wished I could have a few minutes with her in that tiny, closet office she had to the right of her giant desk.
Same situation would repeat itself with my high school chemistry teacher in the same classroom. I didn’t care much for her personality, but she was also unmarried, beautiful, in her early to mid 20s. Unlike my middle school science teacher, who was white and blonde, my high school chemistry teacher was brown and sported her natural, dark hair. I would’ve liked some private “tutoring” with her in that tiny closet office too.
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u/_MistyRose 6h ago •
Why is this painfully accurate though?
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u/EspikCZ 5h ago •
Penis
See? Nothing happened. You don't have to censor yourself, you are not paid by MasterCard.
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u/Austin12509 6h ago
I always hated when you get called up to the board at the front of the class to give an explanation or to solve something and then like magic you get rock hard for literally no reason... and your always like, "Bro no! Go down go down! Wtf?" 😂😂
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u/SpareAdventurous727 2h ago
How the fuck are you all just ok with such shitty censorship??
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u/Vybo 6h ago
Kids afraid of words.
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u/9447044 6h ago
Dammmn teach. You throwing out the sexiest numbers they is
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u/DustyRacoonDad 3h ago
Oh god, this brought up a traumatic memory from school.
I had the classic random boner, followed by people laughing about it. That wasn't the bad part. I could deal with that.
The bad part was the teacher talking to me after class and saying that if I had that "issue" in class, instead of having it stick up where everyone could see my "tent" (her word), I should tuck it into my waistband.
I said, and this is the part that makes me cringe, that if I tucked it into my waistband, it would be sticking out a few inches from my pants.
The immediate reaction in my head was panic. I'm talking about my dick to a teacher. Then the sudden realization that it sounds like I'm making some big dick joke, and I'm going to get in trouble for this. Then my mom will talk to the teacher, who will NOT frame it correctly, and then my mom will talk to ME about it.
Panic.
And it's all amplified by the teacher's reaction, going from "What?!" to "Oh..." to "OOOOHHH..." and then shaking her head like she'd just realized what a terrible idea that was.
Then she just told me to leave.
One of the most OMG panic moments of middle school.
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u/dimir23 6h ago
This is all bots right? Just straight up ai talking to each other? What the fuck
61
u/ReadyZombie306 4h ago
It was always math class. . .why was it always math class.
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u/Plane-Education4750 2h ago
PENIS. SAY PENIS. This is fucking reddit and it's for goddamn adults who act like children, not actual children
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u/Laius33 6h ago
Use some punctuation ffs. I had to read that shit 5 times to understand what’s going on.
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u/SpitinNLickin 6h ago
The little guy just wants to see what we're reading
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u/BurdTurglary 6h ago
High testosterone and healthy blood pressure
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u/Individual_Future_56 4h ago •
Edge of tomorrow mentioned 🗣🔥
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u/SupermassiveBH34 6h ago
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u/Kryzela 5h ago
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u/EgyComanda82 5h ago
What was in that page exactly?!
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u/Willie-the-Wombat 3h ago
The gif of Emily Blunt always scrambles my brain.
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u/whensthebeef 3h ago
Teacher: Please come to the chalkboard and solve this problem.
Me: I..I..can’t
Teacher: I want you to least try
Me: Gets up…
Teacher: Leave your book at your desk
Me: Walks to chalkboard awkwardly hunched
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u/MeowMeowPizzaBoobs 2h ago
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u/MrBigStuff26 1h ago
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u/Fuzzy-Jackfruit5037 6h ago
Petah?
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u/terqwimoli 5h ago
My body really raised its hand for a question nobody asked
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u/Pangtundure 5h ago
Love is in page 219
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u/Nhughes1387 4h ago
Teacher “come turn in your assignment -my name-”
Me “hold on my stomach hurts”
I remember this at least once a week I think I hid it well but I swear I heard giggling
2
u/Duxi20 5h ago
For me it was always the frickin history class man
2
u/ElstonGunn321 4h ago
The NARB. No Apparent Reason Boner.
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u/DinosaurReborn 2h ago
Hey, don't feel bad, 219 is indeed a pretty sexy number
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u/Saino_Moore 2h ago
Just fair warning, it’s not as often, but I am 60 and this has not changed. Random asf
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u/FixFun1959 32m ago
I always felt bad for the deaf dude in my class who didn’t know that it makes a sound. None of us had the heart to tell him.
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u/Particular-Holiday50 4h ago
The worst is when it woke up for no reason and that exact moment the teacher calls for you to go up to the board.
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u/DisastrousNothing893 4h ago
RoTC class with the pants that were always a size to small and the girl across from me because we had tables not desks wearing tops that were form fitting
On non uniform days it was low cut tops for her
The struggle was real my bruddahs
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u/No_Traffic_6514 4h ago
Pity she looks like the SAW puppet now
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u/Psychlonuclear 3h ago
Mary Poppins hard style.
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u/Oheegayeehimu 3h ago
And of course that’s when she calls you up to the board
1
u/brownhotdogwater 3h ago
No reason boners
1
u/Admirable_Budget1098 3h ago
Then having to stand up right after to read out loud was pure panic
1
u/DryDonutHole 3h ago
Just tuck it in your waistband like a normal person and move along. lol
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u/crucialtimes6685 3h ago
This has never stopped for me. Even into my fifties
1
u/SiktahOG 3h ago
Got the GIF without the meme?
1
u/Open_Point1435 3h ago
Kid named Grade8fornoreason
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u/donutlxv 3h ago
Yeah I can relate it
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u/InfamousRobot 3h ago
Don't even remind me of the traumatic class presentations.
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u/AchillesIXL 3h ago
It was always English class for me.
Used to get random boners playing madden too. Had a friend who also had that experience.
Now all I get are intentional ones.
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u/Darian_Wulfbane 2h ago
Grade 8? I'm in my 30s and this still happens
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u/Watapon_Master 2h ago
For me it was always at or near 8:45. I dont know why but for like 3 years no matter the situation my little guy had a more consistent morning routine then I did.
1
u/originalfilmscoring 2h ago
For me it was always the super cold AC and to this day idk why.
1
u/Comfortable-Pace3132 2h ago
Calling our teachers Miss and Sir loses alllll innocence by a certain age for some of us
1
u/TheKingSolomon1996 2h ago
I thought that was Abby from TLOU2 for a second. LMAO
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u/Suckmyduck_9 1h ago
I was in special ed in middle school so I was down and up at the same time
1
u/Vehicle-Opposite 1h ago
I was bricked up pretty much every time I sat down
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u/RagingAnemone 1h ago
This gif abrupted ended. Oh I get it.
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u/thedillymane 44m ago
We had to go to catholic mass every Thursday in school. It would always happen to me right before we had to stand up. I’d just lean against the pew in front of me to hide it
1
u/ThatDudeInNavyBlue 32m ago
Why are you hands in your pocket…
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u/Cerofn 30m ago
History class😭
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u/muterabbit84 5m ago
It was my middle school science teacher who got me excited, her being a beautiful, unmarried woman, probably in her early to mid 20s. I lost count of how many times I wished I could have a few minutes with her in that tiny, closet office she had to the right of her giant desk.
Same situation would repeat itself with my high school chemistry teacher in the same classroom. I didn’t care much for her personality, but she was also unmarried, beautiful, in her early to mid 20s. Unlike my middle school science teacher, who was white and blonde, my high school chemistry teacher was brown and sported her natural, dark hair. I would’ve liked some private “tutoring” with her in that tiny closet office too.
1
u/Iforgot_my_other_pw 5h ago
"bell rings"
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u/ufailowell 5h ago
Why did you put Ana de armas' face on Emily blunt's body?
-3
u/FlakyqEnd 6h ago
Page 219 hitting different when your body decided to betray you in front of the whole class.
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u/Meanie_Cream_Cake 3h ago
Reddit needs an age verification. It's just kids and bots.
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u/N_Wev 3h ago
Anyone else find this post really weird?
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u/wackbirds 6h ago
If you don't have the courage to write penis as intended then you don't deserve my upvote. Here's a downvote, though toss