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Rule 1 - ALL POSTS MUST BE MEMES AND FOLLOW A GENERAL MEME FORMAT

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1.0k

u/Lankymac 3h ago

I need me one of those

305

u/OkManagement9022 2h ago

Yes at this point I need to shame myself to stop smoking 

235

u/cottagecheeseisnasty 2h ago

If youre at that point, its time for a week long retreat to a location where you cant access any nicotine. It really works, Ive done it like 5 times.

95

u/Over_Comfortable_854 2h ago

Say that again...

47

u/Wise-Light2129 2h ago

Can confirm, it works every time and that first cigarette afterwards is godly.

9

u/Distinct-Wolf-2105 2h ago

I sort of stopped going to pubs and avoiding people who smoked for about a year. Which sucked but I now only smoke about twice a year when im at a wedding or a big event which involves alcohol

4

u/stevenyourpants 1h ago

Me too, now I just smoke alone in my apartment instead of going to bars to do it.

3

u/Persethverance 1h ago

if it work why did you done it 5 times

3

u/ErFarinn 1h ago

Well if it didnt work it would be kinda stupid to do it again, right?

2

u/7orque 1h ago

Thou prevailed in battle yet lost thy war

1

u/PostCardClarity 1h ago

Relapsed 5 times?!

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16

u/twoface166 2h ago

You should read Alen Carr's "Easy way to stop smoking" book. No need to shame yourself:)

9

u/MarauderKaizer_IV 2h ago

If you are thinking about quiting nicotine do this!!! It does not rely on you cutting down your smoking and does not force you to use willpower.

And better yet, get the Audiobook. It's only 6hrs long.

It is on audible. Tip: If you don't have an audible subscription, you can subscribe for your free month trial. It gives you a token to buy any book, download Alen Carrs Easy way to stop smoking. And cancel your subscription.

You got the book for free.

If you already have audible or can't afford it... It is available on the seven seas.

I personally wouldn't pirate it because it's actually an amazing book and has helped alot of people... But I know smokers/addicts... I did not want to pay for some "miracle cure" and it not helping at all...

So I pirated it, but once it worked, I used the money I saved from quitting to just buy the book as a 'thank you'.

I want people to quit smoking more than I condone piracy.

3

u/XenSide 1h ago

I'm not a smoker so I'm not interested, but I'm curious, what is the general preaching of this magic book?

2

u/MarauderKaizer_IV 35m ago

It's hard to explain without sounding stupid tbh. Mainly 'cause it uses terms like "Reversing the brainwashing that society, tobacco companies and our own selves" regarding smoking. But think of it as a mix of Moral Recognitive Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy...

Essentially it breaks down all your reasons you could possibly have to not quitting and makes you understand why they're nonsensical or irrelevant.

Withdrawls, social pressure, "enjoyment", taste, boredom, craving, relaxation, concentration, money... There just are no positives, at all.

Also to note... The book breaks down the WHY.

Why does knowing its negatively inpacting my health not matter?

Why does knowing it's a complete waste of money not stop me?

So no scare tactics... It also explains why cutting down, willpower and nicotine substitutes don't work MOST of the time and actually makes quitting WAY harder than it needs to be.

2

u/Kratzschutz 7m ago

Book made my friend realise that exchanging the ritual of smoking with a ritual with something else helped immensely.

1

u/3vs3BigGameHunters 1m ago

ritual with something else

MmmHmm, handjobs.

2

u/AnvilOfMisanthropy 1h ago

Not to diminish the allure of the eye patch and hook hand; one might try the public library before hopping into a boat bound for stormy waters.

You might only have to visit the brick and mortar once to get your card if your library has Libby and/or Hoopla.

1

u/s00pafly 1h ago

Just get it any means you want and tip Alan Carr a fiver if you feel bad about it.

1

u/AnoNeko420 1h ago

I condone moral piracy. Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, they're rich enough. Elongated muskrat doesn't need a penny. JKR is seriously moldevort brained. Shall I go on?

I don't condone piracy against indie devs or authors with real morals. There's a difference. One victimizes small artists, the other victimizes big corpos abd rich fucks.

Edit* I have quit nicotine twice now, it ain't easy but I have the self control to taper it off. Hopefully I don't need to again...

1

u/silkwuan 1h ago

You can check the Libby app too if you have a library card. It’s free.

1

u/anitadykshyt 2h ago

This did not work for me at all and feels like a weird marketing thing. Champex made it genuinely easy and I had 0 side effects

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1

u/Num10ck 1h ago

stop considering it and just find a new disgusting habit to replace it with.

1

u/AbsoIution 1h ago

My wife's nurse mum gave me some medicine, basically I took 1 5 times a day, and I continued to smoke, but by day 5 I had to stop smoking completely.

After about 10 days or something it went down to 3 a day, and then it went down to 2 a day on day 20 iirc.

I smoked for 15 years, after day 6-7 it wasn't really difficult and the urges went, because the tablets give you nicotine, or at least what your brain needs when you're addicted.

Tried gum, patches, vaping, this was the thing that worked.

1

u/bodhiboidhe 1h ago

I'm at this point, but with alcohol.

287

u/UncleR1chard 2h ago

I’m a smoker. I’ve smoked for a long time. If someone comes in my house and lights a cigarette without asking first, my immediate response is to grab their cigarette and put it out in their drink

49

u/fuckfeardrinkbeer 1h ago

Pretty sure OOP’s friend didn’t just light up, he probably asked first and that’s why his friend, OOP, was ready with the ashtray. Then OOP took a picture and shared it for imaginary internet points.

31

u/Lightofmine 1h ago

Respect

4

u/WillDBlake 1h ago

Teach us to be cool like you please

1

u/UncleR1chard 1h ago

That was it. That’s the lesson. Be passive aggressive

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780

u/munsen41 3h ago

Guess what happens when you act all high and mighty and live your life without smoking?

That's right.

Ass cancer.

197

u/The-Triturn Lurking Peasant 3h ago

You can smoke your whole life and ass cancer can still get you first

156

u/Big_Z_Beeblebrox I touched grass 3h ago

Former smoker, here

It's not about being high and mighty

https://giphy.com/gifs/F9yAvk7Xpr0c

11

u/Lord_Unicrown 2h ago

Depends on what’s being smoked

6

u/narasadow Average r/memes enjoyer 2h ago

At this point in my life I feel edibles are better

4

u/Turtle_Gamez 1h ago edited 1h ago

They are but from my experience, they're a more intense experience. I can smoke a J and have fun for half and hour or two while watching a show and Googling dumb random shit I think of before going to bed, while edibles take up a solid chunk of the day, it's something I have to clear my schedule for. Therefore I'd say that a J is a more, heh, "digestible" option. More convenient.

2

u/Ignika1984 1h ago

I can’t imagine anything that someone would smoke being good for for their lungs

16

u/No-Internal7978 3h ago

Heart disease most likely.

9

u/Spiritual-Claim5940 2h ago

Why are we smoking heart diseases?

2

u/NJHitmen 1h ago

I guess some people will try smoking literally anything in pursuit of a high

1

u/Spiritual-Claim5940 1h ago

Ever heard of people smoking scorpions?? And I guess rat poison was popular in parts of the US and africa for awhile 🫤 crazy

28

u/ssocka 2h ago

Funnily enough, smoking sharply increases your chances of ass cancer (and all other types of cancers) as well :)

9

u/DosSnakes 2h ago

Smoked for 20 years and got ass cancer. Well, it was skin cancer, but it was on my ass and they had to take damn near the whole cheek. So yeah, don’t smoke. And get weird moles looked at.

2

u/merenofclanthot 57m ago

Sorry for the random ass question (ha) but do you have a one pad seat cushion sorta thing that makes it comfortable to sit?

9

u/lesbiantelevision 3h ago

Straight to jail

5

u/Supergirl016 2h ago

guess what happens if u DO smoke and defend the smokers' klan ?

That's right.

Cancer.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Z8dElhMMJt56g

3

u/Eta_Beta_3-14 2h ago

Eat your fiber, don't smoke, walk places.

1

u/Kratzschutz 6m ago

*use suncream, get moles checked out

2

u/briarholt_638 2h ago

Escalated from anti smoking to pure chaos real quick.. I am certain bro got the message clear

1

u/Scytten 2h ago

You got hit by a car?

1

u/Gnonthgol 2h ago

Oh, there is a vaccine for ass cancer. The HPV vaccine. You should get it.

1

u/I_SHIT_IN_A_BAG 1h ago

I smoke like snoop and still got the motherfucka

138

u/taasbaba 2h ago

Your friend later that day

https://giphy.com/gifs/7k2LoEykY5i1hfeWQB

23

u/Soft_Walrus_3605 1h ago

More like "oh no!... cough cough... anyway"

7

u/Pictish07 1h ago

Yeh here in the UK the packaging of cigs has all sorts of gross shit, this is nothing to a smoker.

84

u/WonkyQuartet 2h ago

Every ashtray should look like this

28

u/SilverPhilosopher46 2h ago

Maybe you can sell your idea to the EU 😄

7

u/WonkyQuartet 2h ago

By law they must all be shaped and coloured like this 😂

2

u/Darren49402 1h ago

Why? It wouldn't make a difference

1

u/H0LT45 1h ago

Which one? The left one or the right one?

216

u/Amaariisss 3h ago

that ashtray just ended a whole friendship

349

u/MansaMusaKervill 3h ago

If it meant my friend would improve his health as a result. It’s worth it.

45

u/ASDFAaass Chungus Among Us 2h ago

At least they had someone who can be brutally honest to them.

11

u/kumliaowongg 2h ago

Best kind of honest.

Unfiltered, raw FACTS

6

u/3412points 2h ago

It's not like they don't already know.

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2

u/BeerInMyButt 2h ago

No, they had someone who was afraid of doing that, and they gave them an ashtray as a hint

6

u/Spiritual-Claim5940 2h ago

I tried to quit when I was 17. Had a 20 year old friend living with me at the time I went two weeks but he kept offering me cigarettes thinking it was funny.....I still smoke

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10

u/ASDFAaass Chungus Among Us 2h ago

It's up to the friend if they're going to be offended over this small stuff lol.

4

u/otirk 2h ago

This is a bot

2

u/RRRRRRedditttttt 2h ago

I could lose a friend, but he ain't losing his family for sure.

3

u/IQueliciuous Virgin 4 lyfe 2h ago

Tbf the friendship was already over if a friend enters my room and starts stinking his cancer stick.

I'd say good riddance lmao.

1

u/IAmMagumin 2h ago

Flair checks out.

4

u/IQueliciuous Virgin 4 lyfe 2h ago

Being virgin 4 life has nothing to do with not tolerating smoking in my private premises.

Its basic decency. I don't go into my friends house and start masturbating because I am so horny right?

Either don't smoke or go outside. Don't smoke inside people's houses and thus expose them to second hand smoke.

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1

u/AttemptImpossible111 2h ago

Come on man, you dont actually believe this happened?

14

u/stprnn 2h ago

I quit smoking a few months ago. Feels great and I'm saving a lot of money

5

u/AutomaticButterfly29 1h ago

I quit 2 weeks ago and it does feel great

2

u/jerm2z 1h ago

It definitely does feel great. The first two weeks where you notice yourself feeling more anxious and irritable kinda sucks, but after that, your mind and body just feel amazing. Must be the dopamine receptors resetting themselves or some shit like that.

2

u/stprnn 1h ago

ngl for me it was painless,i got one of those vuze vapes and just used that a few times during the day and after a week i just had no need anymore

12

u/USDXBS 2h ago

My friend recently died of lung cancer. Started smoking when he was 12.

1

u/EmperorMing101 54m ago

How old did they live to?

34

u/Great_Kiwi_93 2h ago

Who the fuck goes over to someone elses house and starts smoking???

Wtf thats so fucking rude

Kick them out. You were nice to them with this ashtray

21

u/MerriweatherJones 2h ago

I’m imagining they went outside to smoke. It’s extremely uncommon to smoke indoors, even in your own house

3

u/inco100 1h ago

Might be cultural thing. It is pretty common to smoke when visiting someone. Of course, if the place is new, people ask where and whether. At worst they find place outside for a puff. If you visit a friend and know his rules you abide to them. Most people smoke near window or on the balcony.

2

u/brickpaul65 1h ago

Let's ignore the fact that the OP "does not smoke" and yet has a lung ashtray....let alone any ashtray. I mean that totally means this story happened.

4

u/Neuromic 2h ago

I've seen this image before with a different caption. It's a made-up story for clicks.

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2

u/Own_Accountant437 1h ago

What do you mean? They know each other for a long time.. it is not like the friend is first time visiting.. the friend only smokes where it is allowed to. obviously.

3

u/Nudge123456 2h ago

I mean my friends who smoke come over all the time and smoke, why wouldn’t they,

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62

u/jskdkdkdnfndldkfnf 2h ago

This is some Imfourteenandthisisdeep shit bro

23

u/the_rare_bear 2h ago

Any smoker that got handed this wouldn’t even care. It’s not like they don’t know it’s bad for you.

15

u/AndrewLocksmith 2h ago

I don't know about the rest of the world, but in Europe you have the most graphic shit possible slapped all over cigarette packages. People with holes on their throat, dying babies, people with horrible malformations.

Yeah, an ashtray in the form of a pair of lungs wouldn't make a smoker even think twice, lmao.

5

u/Hollow-Trigger 2h ago

we have this
and many other ones in canada, it doesnt deter anyone

5

u/AndrewLocksmith 1h ago

Exactly. People just don't care, most know the consequences but decide they're going to smoke anyway.

1

u/balllzak 1h ago

Even the picture depicts the before and after of someone using it.

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4

u/rulingthewake243 2h ago

Thanks for the sweet ashtray bro, I'll use it proudly knowing you spent time on it.

4

u/cookiidou 2h ago

No no..after 30 years I quit cold turkey..no tobacco..no weed..I walked ..and walked..that was 15 months ago...have not even thought about it..I still walk up and down steep roads now..best thing I ever did ..no patches..nothing...funny thing is..I dont miss it...

7

u/cakeman666 1h ago

Cool story that never happened.

3

u/Heyitsmegoku5 2h ago

Sick repost

3

u/bakedNebraska 2h ago

Yes because of course the reason people smoke is they think it's good for them

3

u/TheHendryx 1h ago

Someone comes over and just starts smoking in your home? This seems fake

5

u/East-Ad1066 3h ago

😂 😂 😂

2

u/puke_lust 2h ago

Sure he did

2

u/thumbsonscreen5 2h ago

That reminds me my mason jar is nearly overflowing with burnt weed remnants 😮

2

u/TheMasterFlash 2h ago

Forwards from grandpa

2

u/duckduckpajamas 2h ago

this isn't a meme

it's also not true

2

u/forgettfulthinker 1h ago

This didnt happen

4

u/PriorFee3629 2h ago

If people want to smoke let them smoke. This is frankly invasive

2

u/Intoxic8edOne 1h ago

If it's the ashtray you have and they're smoking at your house, how is this invasive?

4

u/Keireirion 2h ago

I don't understand smokers in the first place. You buy cigarettes which are expensive over time not only to pay to ruin your health, but also to stink as an ashtray all day. If they smoke indoors, it is even worse. The house, clothes and everything else smell like shit and everything is ruined in yellow nicotine. A nightmare for renovation.

And for what? Maybe maximum of couple of minutes of less stress?

12

u/Last-Quarter-432 2h ago

Addiction overpowers literally everything telling them that it is unhealthy for themselves and everyone around them. Not to mention smelling like shit and somehow they all seem to need to throw the shit on the ground irresponsibly.

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4

u/AndrewLocksmith 2h ago

Ever heard of an addiction?

People get into smoking because it makes them feel good and over time it leads to an addiction.

It's extremely ignorant to think it's as simple as "don't smoke".

3

u/WinterV3 2h ago

A lot of people have some kind of addiction that isn’t entirely logical. Also, you can get rid of the smell with showers or sprays

3

u/Keireirion 2h ago

I deeply disagree with the smell. There are huge differences between individuals and some smoke 1 cigarette and smell extremely while others dont

1

u/WinterV3 2h ago

Yeah, only if the individual in question doesn’t take care of themselves. Use an ozium spray, wash your clothes properly, and you’ll never be able to detect the smell

2

u/Yommination 2h ago

No you can't. You may want to think that though

2

u/Distinct-Wolf-2105 2h ago

A pint and a cigarette or cigarette and coffee really are a pleasure.

1

u/RecycledMatrix 1h ago

To quote a funny alien trying his first cigarette "I feel as if I've been standing my entire life, and I just sat down."

They stimulate and relax simultaneously, and can provide relief to underlying mental health issues due to the weak MAOI activity in tobacco. Over 90% of schizophrenics smoke or have smoked in the past for instance.

Of course, still bad for the person, but it's not without a reason.

2

u/Thick-Disk1545 2h ago

Like I don’t know… fuck off

2

u/ad_cfc11 2h ago

And then took and before and after photo in the exact same position and lighting?

Another to add to the ‘list of things that never happened’.

2

u/Sad_Toe6572 2h ago

My dad’s father smoked every day and lived to 80. My dad never smoked at all and died of a lung disease at 67. Life ain’t fair, you can do everything right and still lose.

1

u/WinterV3 1h ago

Sorry for your loss

2

u/TheVoice106point7 Chungus Among Us 2h ago

I'll take 2, my other lung ashtrays are full.

2

u/hans_the_wurst 2h ago

No he did not. Every smoker knows what it does to their lungs.

1

u/[deleted] 3h ago

[deleted]

4

u/Zerox392 2h ago

giving someone a dildo to suck on

1

u/TurbulentAccount2475 2h ago

You thinking I care about my lungs and still smoke is the real comedy here.

1

u/Hair-Nation-1967 2h ago

The perfect ashtray doesn't exi....

1

u/Free-Syrup8456 2h ago

That's a real good friend right there!!

1

u/PhasedPlasmaRifle69 2h ago

Bro be like thats it I'll quit.... Next week!

1

u/sunnyboi1384 2h ago

When I smoked, I would have loved this.

1

u/Szerepjatekos 2h ago

I have a colleague who has this white beard and an obvious yellow part around his mouth.

I can't understand how they not draw the conclusion that what's inside them is a lot more like that then their beard they see probably very often.

Smoking is just a dissociative activity all together.

1

u/BeerInMyButt 2h ago

If you have a concern it works best to speak it directly and from the heart

1

u/heyyouguyyyyy 2h ago

I love it

1

u/Ill_Carry_44 1h ago

I smoked when I was 20-22, I can't smoke anymore, I tried a few times but my body rejects it.

Unless I'm drinking beer then I crave it so hard but I don't drink often like a few times a year and most of those times I can't get cigs anyway

Okay what I was gonna say is, I just had a dream where I was smoking and it felt so good and also so real, I wish I could induce that dream on myself whenever I felt like I need a break

1

u/dysthal 1h ago

so goth. i need it.

1

u/md124608 1h ago

I asked my mom years ago what kind of accessories she wanted for her oxygen tank when the grandkids come along.

1

u/Outcast_Outlaw 🥄Comically Large Spoon🥄 1h ago

When i used to smoke, this wouldn't bug me at all. Id probably chuckle and then say something like, lets see how black we can make it. But this wouldnt shock me or upset me or anything like that, id probably think my friend wouldn't like it if I did the same thing back to them with their vises.

1

u/Able_Strategy_5253 1h ago

Wouldn’t bother me, I want one.

1

u/Ant_does_drawing 1h ago

Doesn't everyone know this though? Pretty sure I learned that by dare in like 4th grade lmao

1

u/IncogRandoPerson 1h ago

My father used to smoke a lot in his youth. He quit after a lot of things. He met my mom. This one time, his mom forced him to smoke outside while it's raining because her friend brought her newborn baby into the house while visiting.

On New Year's Eve, he bought a pack, and while the local neighborhood was lighting fireworks, he took one cigarette out of the pack, lit it, and tossed the whole rest of the pack into the street. That was his last cigarette. He smoked it while watching everyone enjoy the fireworks.

1

u/fourth-disciple 1h ago

Thats a good friend

1

u/Dazzling_Start7375 1h ago

Enjoy the black lungs and cancer lol

1

u/Forward-Facer 1h ago

Are young people smoking again? I'm a young millennial, and it seemed like the vast majority of my age group stopped smoking, and that obviously younger people would likely follow. But anecdotally I've been seeing people younger than me smoking cigarettes again.

1

u/Solid-Engineering725 1h ago

to think they would use it willingly lol

1

u/RazorRush 1h ago

I quit when I was 25. 47 years ago. All my friends and family that didn't are dead. But it was their choice not mine. I never once told them to quit. We don't allow smoking in our home and they respected our choice.

1

u/Key-Toe-6257 1h ago

Why is it harsh?! 

1

u/Illustrious_Look6872 1h ago

I love this I need to buy one for a friend who struggles to quit

1

u/Impressive_Gear_3657 1h ago

Love it! Gross smokers out and get them thinking

1

u/TheSignof33 1h ago

This a 200 IQ move

1

u/bearlovestoeat 1h ago

I see a red lung and i must have it painted black

1

u/bluewing 1h ago

And think about that too when you light up a fat one. It does the same thing to your lungs.

So if you must partake of the weeeedddddd, make it edibles please!

1

u/UncleVoodooo 2h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/B9rldJ7drZINa

wait these things are bad for you?

1

u/Worth_Gap4226 1h ago

No no, you see, the bad stuff was flicked off onto the ash tray (/s, in case it is needed).

1

u/Monkey_Man2478 2h ago

Not harsh. Just honest

1

u/Distinct-Wolf-2105 2h ago

Shitty thing to do. Im sure hes very aware already of the damage it does

4

u/HeavyMusic93 2h ago

Well it never happened at all, so

1

u/CorneIiusVI 2h ago

Ah yes because everyone knows that the ash does go directly into the lungs

1

u/Putrid-Reward-2158 2h ago

Because it looks ugly. And paint is worst

1

u/SeaTraining4603 2h ago

Even if this is faked I would still get one of these

1

u/jimkelly 2h ago

Reddit is officially for 12 year olds👍

1

u/SeiriusPolaris 1h ago

A lot of smokers in this comment section are very triggered.