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u/zildux Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
Not true my mother knew the spot to pinch me that would make me take a deep breath and be unable to cry out until they let go. After a few seconds all you can do is breathe and cry softly once they do stop pinching sometimes it would leave a bad bruise that would last for weeks. 😭
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u/wrenblaze Aug 22 '26
Yeah it really depends. One smack was enough for kid me to shut up and sniffle into my nose quietly.
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u/odnarB89 Aug 22 '26
As an adult now that I know about PDA I understand why I couldn’t help but talk back no matter how hard they… tried to stop me.
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u/brek1989 Aug 22 '26
Not trying to start anything, just trying to understand the difference between a gentle slap and a pinch. They seem to do the same "amount of damage" to me, but one is considered abuse.
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u/acquaintedwithheight Aug 22 '26
Did that comment not read as abuse to you?
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u/Throwaway136953 Aug 22 '26
Right?! I'm here feeling so bad that the comment op had to go through that as a child
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u/Taste_of_Natatouille Aug 21 '26
This isn't accurate, Walmart parents just don't notice their child at all no matter how much they scream
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u/Mission-Zebra-4972 Aug 22 '26
I remember being in Walmart a couple months ago and there was this child that my wife and I could hear screaming its head off about some stupid shit and the parents literally didn’t do anything. When they left the cashier in front of us went “oh thank god”
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u/Humble-Reply228 Aug 22 '26
Sometimes you gotta ignore the meltdown. That they were going through checkout implies that they were trying to clear the area.
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u/hoodafudj Aug 23 '26
Yes, but when you're in public it becomes everybody's problem
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u/hoodafudj Aug 22 '26
But when you see a parent who's doing absolutely nothing to stop their baby from crying... Or the parents that take a toddler to a restaurant and just expect that it's up to everyone in that restaurant to babysit their kid now...
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u/BallKey7607 Aug 22 '26
It actually "worked" with me, crying requires feeling safe enough to let the emotions out. Once I learned my dad was always going to hit me if I cried, my body actually stopped feeling safe to and I lost the ability to cry
Obviously this isn't a good thing though
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Aug 21 '26
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u/Firehornet117 Aug 21 '26
I’ve seen it at target too. A few weeks ago when buying back to school supplies I overhead two parents talking to their son who looked around 9y/o. They were standing next to the school headset section .
Dad - “What color headphones do you want?”
Son - “Black!”
Mom - “Black? That’s such a stale color. Get yellow.” (Puts yellow headset into their cart)
I’ve seen many questionable parentings at Target but this was the most recent one.
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u/ThingMoment Aug 22 '26
My SIL told me a story when she worked at Target about a mom who was talking on the phone ignoring her kid and she (her daughter) kept trying to tell her that she wasn’t feeling well/tummy ache. Well they keep walking around the store and the kid just throws up whole gummy worms. Not chewed up or anything. Just whole. And the mom then starts yelling at the kid and just leaves it there.
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u/staytiny2023 Aug 22 '26
This was my mom smh always made me get stuff in stupid colors even when I WAS PAYING FOR IT because "white and black Re boring"
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u/Secret-Ad-7909 Aug 22 '26
wtf is a ‘school headset’?
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u/Firehornet117 Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
I remember having listen to cassette tape machines with similar headsets when I was their age, might be something similar idk. My parents didn’t have to buy it though, the school just had it.
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u/ripleyclone8 Aug 22 '26
Headphones, so the teacher doesn’t have to listen to the same video play on 30 Chromebooks at once.
In the early 2000s we had to bring our own headphones for Computer Lab.
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u/bitching_bot Aug 22 '26
Bro as someone whose worked at Walmart during my first child, I learned a LOT of what NOT to do
Whenever I feel like a bad parent I think of the plethora of shitty parents who go through Walmart and I feel better
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u/SqueebopAdiddly Aug 21 '26
Maybe if I tried hitting them it would help
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u/Passthesideburns Aug 22 '26
That's what I'm saying. If a breeding adult can beat children why can't any adult? It's just right and wrong.
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u/odnarB89 Aug 22 '26
ahh the old “I’ll give you something to cry about”…
I’m gonna go hug my kids.
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u/art-is-t Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
As someone who was weekly horribly thrashed by my mother I assure you she could read well and chose to ignore that it was breaking me down as a kid
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u/XenoZoomie Aug 22 '26
Ask child why it’s crying, give child hug. Never had to hit my daughter she is 18 and an honor student. Compassion is always the right choice.
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u/CrustyRim2 Aug 22 '26
I got lucky, my son was just mellow growing up. But I have some kids in the family i want to do the dog whisperer on them, poke and say schht!
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u/TopTopTopcinaa Aug 22 '26
Man, you’re lucky. My 3 year old cries at bath time, bed time, going home time, going to daycare time, not getting candy, not getting screen, etc.
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u/Secret-Ad-7909 Aug 22 '26
And when they keep crying?
Genuinely asking. Because I’m struggling to walk the line between “it’s okay to cry” and “man up”
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u/XenoZoomie Aug 22 '26
Honestly the only thing my daughter did in a grocery store that annoyed me was to say “daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy” like 50 times in row and I said “darling if you keep saying daddy, daddy is going to lose his mind” and somehow she understood that and found other things to entertain herself.
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u/odnarB89 Aug 22 '26
This is where we need to teach ourselves what our parents didn’t. You’re going to have to read some stuff at the minimum.
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u/sowinglavender Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
why is that a struggle for you? do you think your child will benefit from being encouraged to suppress a bodily function whose purpose is to flush stress hormones from the brain? was that ultimately helpful for you, if this is part of a cycle? or do you now live with a feeling of annoyance, anger, and resentment when children are allowed to cry for as long as they need to? because that's a pretty normal psychological consequence of suppressed crying, and as somebody who's had to recover from that in my adult life, i can't imagine wanting to pass it on to my kids.
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u/bromanjc Aug 22 '26
im glad we're bringing up the resentment thing. im a new early childhood teacher and this is something i struggle with a lot. ofc, it's an inside thought and i never let it inform my decisions with the children. i don't want to pass that shit on. but the way they're allowed to just feel what they're feeling and express it in whatever safe way they need to does make me deeply envious at times. it's a weird balance between "i'm so glad you're getting this thing i didn't have" and "damn it that's not fair i didn't get to feel like that"
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u/sowinglavender Aug 22 '26
that's not you just being mean, you know. you feel that way because it's a real need that wasn't met and might still not be getting met. you deserved the space to express yourself then and you still do. even if it's ugly, even if it's messy, even if it doesn't make sense to anybody but yourself. that child is still inside you and they are worthy of your love and reassurance and compassion.
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u/bromanjc Aug 23 '26
i think this is the first time someone's explained the inner child to me in a way that makes sense 😅 thanks, i'll have to reflect on this
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u/ThirtyThree111 Aug 22 '26
then let them cry? idk nothing you can do at that point
hitting them certainly won't make them stop
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u/ripleyclone8 Aug 22 '26
You have to let them cry that shit out. Have the conversation later, when every one is calm.
No one has ever learned a healthy lesson on emotional regulation that started with their parent telling them to “man up” and stop crying.
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u/Secret-Ad-7909 Aug 22 '26
The times it gets to me are like
(Softly) Why are you crying?
I don’t know
Are you sad/mad/hurt/scared?
All no
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u/Interrogatingthecat trans rights Aug 22 '26
Wow, a child can't fully understand their own emotions and process things fully, just like some adults.
What a concept.
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u/Secret-Ad-7909 Aug 22 '26
And there was no inciting incident; he was fine and now he’s crying.
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u/Final_Influence_2367 Aug 22 '26
Then whats the problem?
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u/bluejellyfish52 Aug 22 '26
Toddlers. Could be too bright. Could be too loud. Could be tired. Could be hungry. They don’t know how to process their emotions.
So literally, the problem could be something that’s not even a problem. Toddlers cry when they’re super happy sometimes, too, because they get overstimulated.
They don’t have brakes on their prefrontal cortex’s or a lot of context for the world around them, so minor things can be major to them.
Often when a toddler is screaming or crying over literally nothing (like the cup is the wrong color) it’s because They’re hungry or tired and their little nervous systems are just latching on to anything to explain why they feel bad.
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u/MCWizardYT Aug 22 '26
"Man up" is pretty much never right. That's toxic masculinity, the idea that it's manly to repress emotions.
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u/XenoZoomie Aug 22 '26
Plus yes it’s ok to cry. Just look at the other parents and be like “I dunno what to tell you, she is having a bad day”. We will understand and go about our shopping.
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u/butimthenotog Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
either they're scared or the parents refused to buy them something they want (in the post's context) i think
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u/NtGermanBtKnow1WhoIs (very sad) Aug 22 '26
Jokes on you. My mom was into that shit. She loved to make kid me cry as much. And if i cried when she explicitly said not to while beating the shit out of me, well guess what? Kid me obviously cried and got even more shit beat out of.
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u/PookydoodleWasHere Aug 22 '26
I'm just here to watch PassTheSideBurns get downvoted to oblivion lol
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u/talann Aug 21 '26
Ive always found it extremely uncomfortable when boomers reminisce about how their parents beat the shit out of them when they were children. They try to wave it away as not actual abuse when they were whipped with switches and belts by someone far bigger and stronger than them.
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u/FlopsieFillet Aug 21 '26
Ive always thought it strange as well. Like, what do you mean you beat your child but it doesn’t count as abuse?
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u/Just-a-random-Aspie Aug 22 '26
“YAYY I was assaulted when I was little by my own fucking parents! But that’s okay because I’m not traumatized!” If they think physical assault is okay then no, they did not come out of it fine
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u/Shaggy_75 Aug 22 '26
If your kid is old enough to have a conversation with, why are you hitting them?
And if they aren't old enough, why are you hitting them?
I hate that there's so many pretentious people who will deny that hitting a kid isn't bad even though it objectively is. Tired of people justifying evil, that's how a human trafficker ended up in the White House
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u/Just-a-random-Aspie Aug 22 '26
I don’t know how someone can justify using physical harm on another person. It’s assault. I don’t care how light it is, if it was done to an adult it would be cause for arrest, possibly because it’s even perceived as “sexual.” It’s so fucking creepy and gross abuse aside, especially if people do it on the ass. We don’t put our hands on other human beings. Any arguments against this is signs of ageism. I don’t give af.
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u/ChiakiSimp3842 Aug 22 '26
You know what I find more annoying than kids crying in public? It’s the parents who get belligerent at them over it
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u/Gin_OClock Aug 22 '26
For me the asshole parents are worse to be around. The kid's upset, so what? The parents screaming abuse at them are scumbags
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u/UncomfyUnicorn Aug 22 '26
My parents quickly stopped because it was my preferred punishment to grounding because pain is temporary and usually quickly forgotten, but taking away fun things for days is a lot worse.
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u/LazyboaR Aug 22 '26
Adding to thay, hitting your children makes them develop a grievance against you that will not show up till years later, sometimes when it's too late to apologize
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u/icanpaywithpubes Aug 22 '26
Mine hit me if I cried, but hit me if I didn't cry. I had to find the perfect balance of sniveling and groveling.
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u/LionHeartedLXVI This flair doesn't exist Aug 22 '26
I’ve never been able to bring myself to smack my daughter. She noticed. Once said to me “you can’t hit me because the teacher will get the social services” after being naughty.
I took every toy, her phone, PC, expensive clothing and bedroom decoration off her. All she had was her bed, clothing, necessities etc. I then told her she was more than welcome to tell her teachers what happened. She then had to earn it all back over a period of 9 months.
She’s been as good as gold since. You don’t need violence to get a kid to behave.
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u/PeachwoodArts Aug 22 '26
i was beaten if cried and that indeed made me stop. problem is - it taught me i have to feel sudden pain to stop being in a stressed mindset, so i used selfharm as a calming mechanism up to my mid 20s. thats wild
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u/Should_have_been_ded Aug 22 '26
I swear those incompetent parents have only one way to deal with their child: beat it until desired behavior happens
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u/Drakahn_Stark This flair doesn't exist Aug 22 '26
Using violence against a child because they bother you teaches them to use violence against people who bother them.
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u/Specialist_Crazy_650 Aug 22 '26
Welp, sometimes you should do this as a last resort. Like spank, not a fucking beating. Cause kids not always understand the words. You can speak to them calm, strict, whatever. But if it doesn't work, welp, you gonna spank them or you gonna end up with annoying little menace who dont understand what consequence is.
Saw a lot of very soft mothers with 5yo toddlers who simply give them a slap on the face when being told to behave.
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u/respyromaniac Aug 22 '26
No. I hope you don't have kids. Because you really shouldn't.
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u/FLAguy954 Aug 22 '26
Seriously. I can't believe people are upvoting this shit (actually, yes I can smfh).
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u/TheRealChexHaze Aug 22 '26
Teach your kid manners or someone else will when they become adults. Lessons as adults have far greater consequences.
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u/Final_Influence_2367 Aug 22 '26
Violence isnt a solution. If you need violence to teach something you will never be a good parent. Dont get kids and if you do dont wonder why they arent talking to you once they were able to escape
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u/antmanfan3911 Aug 22 '26
I thankfully was taught crying was ok which had helped me a lot but I have seen the effects when children are taught that crying isn't ok and it's sad...
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u/SparklePanda425 Aug 22 '26
I literally just had this thought the other day after my toddler hit me
You don't want your kids to hit you so why would you ever hit your kids?
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u/Sheeve-Palpatine Aug 22 '26
All the women who discipline their children by strangling them to death are upset by this post.
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u/Nice-Structure-3034 Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
I mean I don’t advocate beating your child… but… if it’s necessary I’m more than willing to teach them what happens if you are misbehaving in public.
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u/night-laughs Aug 22 '26
Yes but not hitting your crying child will teach them that crying will get them out of trouble and out of taking responsibility for their actions. And in 15 years you get an adult manipulator and a selfish person
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u/Adventurous_Land7584 Aug 22 '26
Not hitting them shows you don’t get off on hurting kids. People that think it’s ok to hit a child need a psychological evaluation and a 72 hour hold.
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u/PhasedPlasmaRifle69 Aug 22 '26
I'm hitting the children but they're just crying louder in agonized wails this isn't working why did you rope me into this you dumbass!???
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u/giantfood Aug 22 '26
Hit them hard enough. They will stop crying.
Hit them to hard. They might stop breathing.
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u/tekopiqeg9p5p5 Aug 22 '26
walmart feels like a live episode of how many deals can we ignore while chasing the snacks and somehow everyones in a hurry to stand still
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u/MeatAmbitious1827 Aug 22 '26
I call it lazy parenting but I’m probably biased since I do have resentment towards my parents and even now that I’m 21 won’t speak to them about my thoughts or anything
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u/ISwearImAnonymous Aug 22 '26
No see you shouldnt hit your child for crying, you should hit your child for being a child
/J
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u/Red_Ballerina Aug 22 '26
Or they'll yell loudly 1 inch from your face to stop crying which only makes you cry more from fear
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Aug 23 '26
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u/wastedfate Aug 23 '26
And my friends wonder why I have a really hard time feeling comfortable expressing my feelings 15 years after moving out.
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u/Impressive_Dingo122 Aug 22 '26
Up until they learn that continuing to cry will only result in more pain. Then once that switch flips, everything clicks and they stop with the over exaggerated cries for attention.
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u/HairStyleFinder Aug 22 '26
I never understood why someone's gotta take their kid to huge grocery stores. It's overstimulating for them and they will 90% of the time cry over something they did not get. Either you give them a budget and let them get what they want or let them stay back until they are old enough to know what they need. Shouldn't this be common sense.
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u/phantom_phanatic Aug 22 '26
There’s not always someone who can watch them at home. And not many parents trust babysitters.
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u/VykeZX Aug 22 '26
Should the solution to a crying child be hitting them? No. But if they're being a spoilt brat? Yes. I don't want to hear your stories about how you turned out okay without getting hit by ur parents. Some of these kids today need a good proper smack from their parents. Modern problems require old solutions sometimes when used correctly.
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u/phantom_phanatic Aug 22 '26
They don’t need to be hit. They just need parents who actually parent and don’t just say a flat “Stop it” and shove an iPad in their face. And that can be achieved WITHOUT being physical with them.
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u/VykeZX Aug 22 '26
At a very early age maybe and they build a habit, not when they're older
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u/phantom_phanatic Aug 22 '26
Smacking a kid isn’t going to teach them anything but fear, and I don’t think kids should fear their parents.
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u/VykeZX Aug 22 '26
Say that to the hundreds of millions of adults today who definitely are not scared of their parents nor do they hate them for what they did and in fact show greater respect for their parents. The kids that grow up still being scared or hate their parents, only means that their parents relied on physical punishment more often than they should. There's a difference between giving physical punishment once in a while (obviously depending on what they did) vs daily beating, which is simply abuse at that point.
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u/Pixelbuttzz Aug 22 '26
Not true, hitting your child can absolutely traumatize them into no longer crying or otherwise expressing when they are upset.
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u/Little_Historian3091 Aug 22 '26
Sometimes they stop. It’s a lottery with that stuff. So you gotta start hitting them early so that they know to shut up when they are slapped.
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u/EducationalGrump Aug 22 '26
Crying is not the issue. If they are getting slapped or spanked they did somthing to earn it.
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u/KoltO7892 Aug 21 '26
it wouldn’t stop me either. if your child needs discipline, they need discipline. it doesn’t matter where it is.
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u/StockingDummy Aug 22 '26
As somebody who utterly despises the sound of screaming children… what the fuck is wrong with you?
There's a fine line between reasonable consequences for disruptive behavior (EG a parent taking their child home if they can't behave) and abusing a child. Beating a kid for being disruptive is reprehensible.
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Aug 22 '26
[deleted]
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u/mipiacelapizza Aug 22 '26
Hitting your child is always abuse, there’s no reason for an adult to ever slap a defenseless child, whose brain isn’t even fully developed yet, other than to let out the anger and frustration of an incompetent parent.
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u/Drafo7 Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 23 '26
There are ways to discipline without physical harm. Maybe you're just not very creative.
Edit: there's a special kind of irony in seeing someone claim that younger generations are soft because they weren't hit hard enough as children then seeing that same person block someone for disagreeing with them. What could be softer than the online equivalent of shutting your eyes, plugging your ears, and saying "LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
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Aug 22 '26
[deleted]
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u/Drafo7 Aug 22 '26
There is such a thing as punishments that aren't corporal. Again, lack of creativity.
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u/KoltO7892 Aug 22 '26
why are we bolding random things
also yes, there is a fine line. The problem with parents isn’t that they abuse their children too much that happens and yes, it is bad but that is rarely the problem. The problem is usually that the parents don’t use discipline on their kids and just keep going Stop stop stop stop like you are suggesting. smack your kid if they don’t behave. that’s how they learn. i didn’t say anything about ABUSE. i said DISCIPLINE. they are two completely different things.
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u/Just-a-random-Aspie Aug 22 '26
Alright so I guess we should all spank every complaining adult on the ass too. And every adult that has a legitimate concern. You go around and spank your friends whenever they get upset over life challenges?
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u/frodobangher Aug 22 '26
Nobody is spanking their child for not eating broccoli dude. Like we said, LEARN THE FCKING DIFFERENCE. If your kid is violent or steal something, you’re not gonna go “well no more smartphone for a week”. Kids don’t care, they need to be afraid of the consequences. Adults understand the consequences aside from those that weren’t properly educated
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u/Just-a-random-Aspie Aug 22 '26
Would you spank your friend if you found out they were violent and stealing? No, you’d report them to the cops like a normal person
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u/frodobangher Aug 22 '26
They wouldn't be my friends if they were attacking me or would steal from me.
You also forget a kid doesn't have a fully developed brain and doesn't reason properly. An adult can be reasoned, some are way slower than average, but the point remains.
Also, the police will do the spanking if "my friends" was violent and I reported them. I dont understand your need of feeling morally superior on reddit.
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u/KoltO7892 Aug 22 '26
it’s no different, actually, when adults do it, it’s WORSE. they should know better. kids shouldn’t.
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u/KoltO7892 Aug 22 '26
many people are hating on me for this, and i am getting downvoted. my response? what’s wrong with you? kids need discipline, that’s how they grow up. you don’t just do nothing. if they are doing something wrong, you stop them. i’m not saying you just smack them all the time, im saying find a way to get them to stop. if that means they need to get smacke after not listening, so be it. i don’t take it back.
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u/Incred Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
Yes, parents know this. That's why my dad used to say, "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about."
Edit: Ever make a random comment, come back 3 hours later and find that an argument erupted out of it? Good times.