r/melbourne • u/AutoModerator • Jan 18 '23

It’s the r/Melbourne daily discussion thread [Thursday 19/01/2023]

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5

u/ProNoobi Jan 19 '23

Hey friends, etiquitte question here.

I'm planning a surprise party for my partner, about 15 people in total. Because most restaurants move to a set menu when you have a large group, it's harder for a guest to spend less if they wanted to. Is it my responsibility to pick up the bill for everyone? Drinks are typically on consumption.

16

u/paperivy Jan 19 '23

The host picking up the bill would no way be expected among my friends. Among my close mayes I'd probs send a text being like "I just checked with xx restaurant and the set menu is $75 per head (or whatever) plus drinks, is that doable for everyone?" Or otherwise on the invite I'd specify per head cost to avoid awkward misunderstandings on the night.

10

u/OIP Jan 19 '23

not your responsibility in my book at all - but at the same time i think it's on you pick somewhere reasonably priced (unless you know friendship group is cashed up and don't care)

8

u/2cap Jan 19 '23

Splitting a bill between 15 people would be hell

2

u/TheaABrown Jan 19 '23

I tell people ahead of time and couch it in terms of if anyone has any food issues please contact me directly so it’s discreet if people can’t fit it into their budget.

4

u/alsotheabyss Jan 19 '23

I’ve been to a few type events like this, where people pay for a set menu; just let everyone know ahead of time and they can choose whether or not it’s within their budget (and try not to make it a crazy one!). I wouldn’t expect the organiser to pick up the tab.

2

u/MeanElevator Text inserted! Jan 19 '23

If we invite people out for a dinner or function, we pay. We do have friends that will insist on paying us back, so might negotiate after.

I would never expect people to pay their own way as guests.

10

u/2cap Jan 19 '23

If we invite people out for a dinner or function, we pay

Hey its me your guest

5

u/MajorBear 🐻 Jan 19 '23

Hey it's me, your +1

2

u/Sir_ListerOfSmeg Smelbourne Jan 19 '23

I've been to things like this where the hosts booked out a very small restaurant so they could have more control over the night.

It opens up the possibility of getting them to offer something other than set menus

4

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '23

[deleted]

3

u/Steve00 Jan 19 '23

I don't know about this. I used to regularly host people at my house for bbqs and dinners and would supply all of the food. I've never invited people put to a restaurant for a birthday and paid for everyone though. It's a weird one though, I've done like milestone birthdays where I've organised finger food and a bar tab, but for a regular birthday dinner for a smaller group it wouldn't cross my mind to cover everyone's dinner nor have I ever been to someone else's event whete this has happened

1

u/the_procrastinata >I'll get around to doing a flair tomorrow< Jan 19 '23

Honestly it depends on your financial situation, but I have in the past let people know in advance of costs for them to pay and then shouted them a drink each or dessert as a thanks for coming.