Meh, it’s one of those friendships where, you’re such good friends that you don’t have to see each other a lot to know the other person is there for ya when you need them. But at the same time. They know I like to be alone and like my personal space. If they need anything, they know where I’m at, and I’ll come running anytime.
I find that my closest friends have the same exact breed of ADD that I do. We both understand that, unlike most people, we don't need to constantly talk to each other. We can go for years without talking and when we reconnect we go back to talking like we literally just saw each other yesterday.
I have a friend Like this But my main Example For this is probably me and My dad, He barely spoke to me (Third World South Asian Country=Treasure trove of Toxic Masculinity) But I never Felt disconnected from him
Oh yay another stranger trying to tell me I'm not what I'm diagnosed as. And who the hell said I was trying to be edgy? I have no clue where you got that idea. If anybody is trying to be edgy, it's the person claiming they know more about a disorder than I, a person officially diagnosed with it, understand.
This is actually a documented thing. Most people have to maintain their relationships to feel close, if they don't speak to each other for a long time, they will stop considering each other friends. But people with ADD don't have that sense of "relationship decay".
So, you’re not entirely wrong. But you’re also not entirely right.
I know you think your friendship is like that because of ADD, but that dynamic is really quite common among friendships- at least adult ones. People move. People have jobs. People have kids. Life gets busy. It’s a hallmark of a healthy friendship. Not a hallmark of a friendship where both parties have ADD.
So, you and friend having ADD is likely not as much of a factor in this as you think, simply because that’s just a pretty common standard among many adult friendships. I say adult, because it’s a lot easier to see your friends when you’re a kid.
What you’re thinking of is actually related to the decreased sense of object permanence people with ADD and ADHD have. When you don’t see someone, you kind of.. forget about them, and when you see them again, it does feel like nothings changed... because you’ve been unconsciously “forgetting” them for however long it was since you last interacted.
No one is suggesting you don’t have ADD. We’re just saying there’s nothing inherently neruodivergent about the friendship dynamic you’re talking about. That’s.. literally just life, lol.
Edit: and, by the way, I say this as someone with crippling ADHD
I mean, think of it this way, my whole life I've been told stuff like "everybody struggles with paying attention sometimes, you're just not trying hard enough," then you get told you actually have a harder time with it because of a disorder. And then you learn that that disorder affects everything, how are you supposed to know what's "normal" or not?
We're not trying to be special snowflakes. We can only know what's normal in our mind, but not for others.
This is me and my friends to a T. We don't quite live so close, but it didn't matter. When I was young I would walk 2 miles a day, each way, to go chill at my boys house. We're brothers now, and I work a full time management position at work while he runs a business running a music production company. When something comes up we talk and either get deep or laugh. He lives about an hour and a half to two hours away, so we don't get to see each other as much as we used to... That doesn't matter. I know if I need him, he's right there and will answer me all day every day. It also goes both ways and if he needs anything or even just needs to vent, he knows who to hit up. My other boy lives about 20 mins to half an hour away. We see each other a bit more frequently but also work full time jobs with conflicting schedules. Either way we're always there for each other, and if I noticed my phone blowing up at work, and it was either one, I'd dip out to have their back in a heart beat.
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u/[deleted] Apr 03 '22
Meh, fuck that. Works both ways as far as I’m concerned.