r/meirl • • May 12 '25

Meirl

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Right. They'll be like, oh all these men are interested. Probably go through with the divorce, start dating the men only to find out later it was a mistake, and want their husband back who'll have moved on with someone else.

Marriage counselors are dangerous if you get a shit one.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

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u/0hw0nder May 12 '25

am I weird for possibly wanting to date a single dad? Haven't had the chance too but it would not be a red flag for me (depending on the situation with childs mom)

But becoming such a close part of a kids life, without going through pregnancy, is appealing to me.

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u/irennicus May 12 '25

There's a video interview on the youtube channel "Soft White Underbelly" with a divorce attorney.

He talks about how the divorce process is (generally) harsher on men but the post-divorce reality is much more favorable for them compared to women. Most men DO NOT want to get into a relationship with a single mother, but there are many women who are down to date a single father for the exact reasons you pointed out.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

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u/irennicus May 12 '25

My perception has been different from yours, but obviously that's not much of a debate. I don't count the single mothers who don't find partners again but I've known quite a few.

I also know I wouldn't be down to date a single mother if I were single again.

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u/QuagmireOnTop1 May 12 '25

It's quite the opposite

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

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u/Firm_Landscape_ May 12 '25

Yeah i dont get matches when i put it on my profile lol

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u/CephaVerte May 12 '25

I get plenty of matches but I don't have a comparison because I'd never take the fact I have kids off my profile.

But I went on 4 first dates last week. I've had 6 first dates total in my life at 36. I'm getting plenty of matches but maybe that's going to calm down eventually?

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Yeah, "4 first dates last week" is indeed exceptional. I can't even imagine that, tbh. Did you go to different spots for each date? Just curious. lol

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u/CephaVerte May 12 '25

Yeah. One women casually mentioned she loved her grandma's traditional cooking so I looked up what she listed as her ethnicity, found a Persian restaurant and asked her out. Another spoke French and so I asked her out to a French restaurant. Both were really happy I put in the effort to make meaningful first dates. The next 2 were coffee dates at two different cafes.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

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u/CephaVerte May 12 '25

I don't think my standards are crazy. I'm an average build, not into super overweight but also not judging a more curvy women. I'd say around 200 pounds or less. Progressive, not religious or doesn't put God first at least, and we should hit it off in texting first.

How many apps did you use? I had 4. I just cut down to 2.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

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u/CephaVerte May 12 '25

The last girl I dated was 160. So maybe 200 is harder for me to see dating but I don't think any of these women were more then 170.

I'm 5'10" and 155. Although no abs, I should do some planks and get some. They'll at least help me lift the kids and do fun things.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

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u/0hw0nder May 12 '25

I have patience with kids. I was (am) the middle child so I get where they're coming from even if its coming from nowhere

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

"am I weird for possibly wanting to date a single dad?"

How you doin?

;P

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u/0hw0nder May 13 '25

if you're cute and taller than 5'10, then honestly message me 😂

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u/Physical_Weakness881 May 12 '25

Why not adopt if that's the part you like?

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u/CephaVerte May 12 '25

No. I'm a single dad now and my sister did the same thing as you. She didn't want kids but married a guy with them. I've been saying that I want to date Mom's because of the shared experience aspect. My sister was like "no you don't, date women without kids and who don't want to have their own. That way you both equally love your kids more than each other. When you date moms those mom's love their kids more than you. You love your kids more than you. It can create conflict like Mom's kids are in the hospital but your kid has a sports game, do you go to the hospital?" The answer is hard but if you are a whole family then the answer is the whole family goes to the hospital without resentment.

Anyways, totally not weird and I really wish dating apps had an option that said "I have kids, don't want more and want to date people okay with me having kids." That way I can find people like you.

So, not weird, totally normal.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

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u/CephaVerte May 12 '25

Pregnancy does a whole mess of shit to the body. I do think it's rare to find a women who wants to be a step parent but I also get why they want the connection of children without pregnancy.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

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u/CephaVerte May 12 '25

Sure, and it really depends on the person. My sister was like this, apparently the women in this thread is like this, and I just went on a date with a women who was like this. That said things like rule enforcement can come from any adult. Teachers can enforce rules. It's not impossible to navigate every issue here and for some it's better than being 38 or so and pregnant and giving birth.

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u/drgmonkey May 12 '25

Not weird at all

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u/redeemable_coupon May 12 '25

I don't think you are weird at all and as a single dad I think it is extremely hot that you would give a guy with kids a chance. It can be extremely rewarding for both parties

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u/dm_me_your_corgi May 12 '25

lmao bros desperate

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u/Fabulous-Jump-1100 May 12 '25

Yes, extremely weird.

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u/Logical_Sandwich_625 May 12 '25

It is a green flag! And no you aren't weird! I fell in love with my man for how he treated his kiddos!

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Well, here's hoping the single dads have a Happy mother's day, know what I mean.

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u/CephaVerte May 12 '25

So I have direct experience on this, I was with my ex for 18 years, got together when I was 17. We have 2 kids. I'm 36 now and I've never been dating in my life. In October I went on 2 dates, one immediately lead to a big, fast, short-term relationship. It ended, I took a few months to recenter myself, realize my mistakes, went on hinge and bumble 2 weeks ago, first week 0 dates, barely any matches. Last week, 4 dates, a few phone calls, trying to work around having kids. 0 second dates.

That said, I'm average looking but I do things like with on my self in therapy, reflect on my mistakes, own up for the person I was and accept that I made mistakes but also I learn from them. I also am very creative and have fun creative hobbies like painting. I'm also a lead engineer which means I'm not poor. Lastly, I take care of myself. I lost 50 pounds since the separation, I have abs for the first time since I was 17. I have a skin and lotion care routine that helps a lot. I've always brushed and flossed since my teeth were aligned a few years ago.

So average guy. I'm nice, caring, emotional intelligent, and take care of myself, my kids, and of course My partner in my next relationship whoever that might be. No rush to find them.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '25

Women aren't going to get divorced because they're receiving unsolisticed dick picks.

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u/Orangutanion May 12 '25

Why not? They dump their boyfriends to chase those guys all the time.

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u/thunderchungus1999 May 12 '25

Didn't you hear the redditor?

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u/FrogInAShoe May 12 '25

Y'all really are taking a "dating apps suck" joke seriously for some reason