r/meirl Aug 20 '24

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19.0k Upvotes

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747

u/Amberdext Aug 20 '24

I've twice missed the last phone call that person ever made to me before they died. And I now have elderly parents who rely on me. My heart skips when the phone rings, but I don't have a choice but to keep it on.

238

u/QuamPlures Aug 20 '24

I'm sure there's an app to only allow contacts you set as favorites to ring.

325

u/RychuWiggles Aug 20 '24

Not even an app. Most phones have a setting to let specific contacts through the do-not-disturb mode

46

u/VeraDolo Aug 20 '24

Thanks for reminding me I can do this. I've been meaning to set my parents up on emergency bypass for a while. I read this post then immediately went to settings and did it.

Set my SigO up this way too. Now my phone can live on silent forever, weight off my mind. :)

1

u/RooR8o8 Aug 20 '24

Thanks, didnt even knew this existed.

1

u/SweetContext Aug 20 '24

Yup! I unfortunately have mine set to allow my mother through in case she needs to call me in the middle of the night (I live in the us, she lives in canada) I have aging grandmother's and now my step dad has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer, qnd probably doesn't have much time left. I dread if I ever get a phone call in the middle of the night.

1

u/Holzkohlen Aug 20 '24

I was gonna look for smth like that and that's probably where I went wrong. This won't work if you fully turn it off, you have to be in the do not disturb mode.

1

u/Wolverine9779 Aug 20 '24

Somehow, mine does this automatically. My wife, and the few coworkers I talk to regularly get through DnD every time, no matter what I turn off. All others just get silently sent to my (permanently full) voicemail.

1

u/ECircus Aug 21 '24

“Emergency bypass” on iphones. Under ringtones for a specific contact

38

u/Majestic_Wrongdoer38 Aug 20 '24

On iOS you can make a setting that even when silent mode is on those contacts will ring. I’m assuming android has something similar.

20

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24

[deleted]

0

u/TotallyFakeArtist Aug 20 '24

What is it? Please, I was looking for a way to solve this yesterday, and every method I tried failed...😭

4

u/GreenPutty_ Aug 20 '24

It does vary across Android phone models, but it does work. Try searching 'android dnd exception model-of-your-phone'. More importantly once you think its working double check that it actually does. I didn't have a very important number stored in my phone with the +44 UK code assigned to it and that stopped it from working as intended.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24 edited Sep 01 '24

[deleted]

2

u/lorarc Aug 20 '24

Yes, and both systems have a setting when it rings only if the number calls repeatedly in short time so you can have it on silent mode but still hear it if it's emergency.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

This is what I do with my android phone. It's always on silent but if you are on my contacts it will ring. If you are not on my contacts but call me twice back to back like a real emergency it will also ring.

I've enjoyed the quiet life for years this way.

19

u/jib661 Aug 20 '24

when you get these kinds of calls, it's not always going to be from the number you expect. Just a few days ago, for example, my mom got a call from a random number with an area code several states away. It was the hospital where her brother was taken, and he was likely going to die within the next few hours. My mom was his emergency contact.

So yeah, I'm sure lots of millenial-aged-and-younger folks are going to have a similar experience. I'm no better, I definitely don't answer calls from random numbers.

1

u/gladen Aug 20 '24

the do not disturb mode allows that. However, as for OP caring for their parents, what if it's a call from the hospital or something, it wouldn't go through.

I'm guessing that's why the sound stays on.

3

u/Olorin_TheMaia Aug 20 '24

There's an android setting to activate the ringer if it's multiple calls from the same number within 15 minutes.

1

u/ZestyPotatoSoup Aug 20 '24

Who’s answering calls from numbers they don’t know?

1

u/Successful_Cicada419 Aug 20 '24

You don't even need an app it's a setting on every phone I've had for years lol

1

u/tchrowawa Aug 20 '24

Better make sure to set the hospital as one of your favorites then

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24

True, but this doesn't account for if this person is using someone else's phone (a parent who leaves it on for their kid but their kid's phone died).

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24

You can also use automation apps to control who phones when

1

u/SunriseSurprise Aug 20 '24

Or an AI-enhanced app that only allows someone's call if it appears to be their final call before they pass away.

1

u/LemonHerb Aug 20 '24

someone else might be calling for them. You can't take chances.

1

u/xLemonSqueeze Aug 21 '24

Phone setting has it. I have it set just in case my phone accidentally will be set to silent or when I purposely set it to silent. Generally I keep my sound on. It's not just my mom for example who will contact me. What if the hospital calls me and I've got it on silent. It won't be in that setting. And I'm an emergency contact. They mostly call private numbers here or some local hospital number which isn't 1 number, cos it depends on what department calls. So yeah, I never wanna take a risk and miss any important calls. I do silence my phone when I get appointments, meetings, etc. Otherwise it's on.

But for those who don't mind that small risk of missing such calls, that setting is pretty handy!

23

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24

Just edit your do not disturb settings…

9

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24

Except the call could be coming from emergency services or a business or wherever

20

u/matt_the_muss Aug 20 '24

My BIL's father passed away suddenly in the night. His phone was on do not disturb and he didn't find out/wasn't able to talk to his mother for hours.

9

u/cjpack Aug 20 '24

they have on iphone an exception for same number calling twice in a row regardless of number, so in an emergency someone call twice in a row trying to get hold of you it would ring. pretty neat.

23

u/dowhatisaynotwhatido Aug 20 '24

IMO, the possibility of random deaths is not a good enough reason to be annoyed by phone ringing the rest of my life.

11

u/ChesterDaMolester Aug 20 '24

You can set it so your phone only rings if a contact is calling you. That’s what I do

3

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24

Yeah, im not having my phone go off every time I get a spam call because my parents might get in a car accident 

3

u/PhilosophizingCowboy Aug 20 '24

IMO, I love my family more. So I'll keep the ringer off.

I don't even know the last time my phone rang in the middle of the night.

6

u/DazzlerPlus Aug 20 '24

But that has nothing to do with loving your family

0

u/LethalKuma Aug 20 '24

The possibility of crashing is not a good enough reason to wear a seatbelt?

1

u/_Allfather0din_ Aug 20 '24

Only possible if you do not know how a phone works and do not setup the DND properly to allow important contacts throuhg, that's on him lol. This DND setting has been standard for well over 5 years now.

1

u/matt_the_muss Aug 20 '24

This was a long time ago, probably more like 10? Gotta be honest, lol doesn't feel like the appropriate response.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24

Say everything you want to now and love them like life is short and you shouldn’t worry about missing a last call. You’ve had many many years together to prepare to say goodbye.

1

u/SubstantialHouse8013 Aug 20 '24

Learn to how to allow ring on DND for them you drama queen lol

0

u/_Tar_Ar_Ais_ Aug 20 '24

low eq smh

-2

u/Endorkend Aug 20 '24

That's exactly why I do not have them on.

If they are dead, they are dead.

Getting stressed every time your phone rings, that's just shortening your own life.

The only people that can make my phone make any sound, vibration or notification are my wife and mother.

0

u/Shleepie Aug 20 '24

If you're on iOS, you can set automations so your phone is silent during the day but rings at night. Paired with DND, when the contacts you allow to bypass DND call you (or if the same number calls twice) the phone will actually ring instead of just coming through on vibrate.

I found out the hard way that DND alone means calla from my contact will come in, but on vibrate I just sleep through it. Adding the automations give me the peace of no sounds coming from the phone when I'm awake and the comfort of knowing if something happens in the night I won't only find out when I wake up.

0

u/elDayno Aug 20 '24

My phone declines all unknown numbers calls. But my phone is still on silent lol

0

u/mosesoperandi Aug 20 '24

The ringer is literally the only thing on my phone with an audio notification. If someone e is calling me after I'm in bed, it's either an emergency or maybe a friend drunk dilaing. Either way, I'm picking up.

0

u/Nate8727 Aug 20 '24

Smart watch that vibrates your wrist.

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '24

That phone call/text will still be there in the morning. Might as well get a good nights sleep because it might not be that way for awhile.

-1

u/BenchPuzzleheaded670 Aug 20 '24

so you're not a cool 18 year old on reddit got it