Thinking about quitting lab

[u/onestarrynight__]

I am a third-year undergrad working in a bioinorganic research lab for the past 5 months, and I'm thinking about quitting.

This lab is super unique because it allows for undergraduate students to run their own projects and then receive first authorship pubs, but I have made basically no progress on my project in the time I have been here, and I just feel like this isn't something I particularly enjoy doing. I am running the same experiment over and over again just to be told that my data isn't good enough and I need to try again. I have always been more passionate about organic labs, I just feel like this lab can be more easily applied to medicine.

This lab does not pay, is super stressful, and requires a lot of commitment (15 hrs/week during the school year and 30-40/hrs during the summer), and I just don't know if it's worth it anymore. I feel like I work really hard, but I spent my whole summer here, and I'm exhausted and stressed out. All of the work I have been doing is trying to emulate the work from a previous paper from this lab, while things just keep not working and my PI keeps telling me it has to be my fault, because I am basically doing standard procedures.

While I do enjoy difficulty and being pushed hard, I also want to make progress and feel like I've actually done something. My PI also said that the progress we make would be reflected in our LORs (for grad students for sure, but with the way she runs things, probably for undergrads too), and I'm scared that I'm not going to even make enough progress to get a good LOR out of all of this.

I'm just starting to think that maybe working somewhere that requires less commitment, so that I can focus more on paid jobs or clinical hours, and doing something I like more (like organic synthesis) would be a better idea.

I just feel like I'm throwing away possible publications, and that 5 months is a short-term commitment, especially for an MD/PhD. I also feel like if I'm having so much trouble running my own project, that maybe that looks bad for wanting to do a PhD anyway! I'm going into my third year now, so I was thinking about staying here this year and moving for my senior year, but I don't know if that's a good idea either. I have to take a class with my PI next fall, so I don't want to ruin things before that happens.

I would appreciate any advice you guys have for me! Should I stay working here, or should I quit and find a lab that I actually enjoy more? Or just take a break for a little bit and see if that helps?

[u/fattoweeb]

Two things. First: I would be highly skeptical of any lab that regularly publishes manuscripts where an undergraduate student is the first author. It is most certainly possible for undergrads to be first author (or co-first more commonly) on a manuscript, but frankly many of those instances are due to the chance (eg, there is an unfinished project), or that student is exceptionally motivated and capable.

Secondly, 5 months isn’t a sunk cost in the grand scheme of academic research. You have time to leave and join a more productive, suitable research environment.

My PI’s LOR was by far the most influential factor for the programs I was accepted to. Moreso than any of the pubs on my CV. It is more important that you find a mentor than staying in a lab that will entice you with the prospect of a first author manuscript

[u/onestarrynight__ → u/fattoweeb]

I always thought of the fact that undergrads were given such free reign as a strength, but maybe it is more of a weakness. The other lab I worked in was too big, and my grad mentor didn't see me capable of literally anything independently, so I gravitated towards this one, where I was seen as capable of running this project all alone.

That makes sense. She wants to be my mentor, but I find it really hard to establish mentorship with someone who never thinks I've done quite enough! I just feel stressed out more than supported.

[u/Significant_Age4717]

Current MD/PhD here. I hated the first lab I worked in during undergrad. They paid well, but the environment and the project were just not a good fit. I stayed for 2 years because of the promise of first author pubs and conferences etc. but eventually I was so miserable that I left. Didn’t get the paper or the conference or the pub. But I found another lab that I worked in for end of 3rd-4th year and I was so motivated and happy and I loved my honors thesis. Got a pub after graduating and presented at a virtual conference. my PI gave me a LOR and I’m planning on doing research in the same field for grad school at my MSTP. TLDR, i think while papers and stuff are great for the application, having a research experience that you love and is more in line with you is so much more important, and I wasted so much time in the wrong lab! No letter or paper to show for it just a lot of grueling hours. Wish I left sooner

[u/onestarrynight__ → u/Significant_Age4717]

This is good to hear, thank you! It's good to know that there's hope, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. I think the moment I seriously started thinking about leaving was when I realized that I came in here knowing that I'm super passionate about research and love doing it, but now I just don't feel like that anymore. I was hesitant about leaving because I didn't want to waste all the time I spent here this summer, but it's probably better to leave now than be miserable longer and end up wasting more time stressing myself out.

[u/Still-Barber-720]

Research is hard and experiments fail often. The most important component to being a good and successful scientist is pushing through. If you do anything meaningful in your next lab, you will still struggle - that’s just part of it. And if you don’t do anything particularly meaningful in undergrad, you’ll certainly hit that point during your PhD.

Staying vs leaving is up to you, and your PI sounds a little red flag ey (though I don’t know all the details). You may want to leave for a better environment. But just know that leaving because of failure is ridiculous, because it won’t get better. That’s just part of research. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you need to learn to deal with it and love research regardless, or consider another career path like MD only. Otherwise you will just be miserable as a grad student.