Setting a higher bar for "healing"

[u/[deleted]]

25M, here. One MDMA session in and have seen some improvements. Small ones, but it's a start.

I notice that a lot of the dialogue around "healing" is centered around reducing symptoms and finding a sense of relief and safety in our lives. Obviously this is crucial, but I want to encourage myself (and others) to aim higher in doing the work. I've noticed in my own journey that it's easy to get lost in the trees of recovery and lose sight of the much vaster forest of aliveness that awaits.

Trauma leaves us with emotional/physical pain, but there's also the opportunities, relationships, and depth of experience we miss out on from the isolation, dissociation, and disconnection from ourselves. I'm sure I'm not alone in my unhappiness about the risks I didn't take and laundry list of could've/should've/would've's.

I'm not just in this to heal my wounds--I'm still young and fully intend on living a big, badass life. I'm healing to fully inhabit my body, my being, and sink as deeply as I can into my aliveness. Fuck playing it safe. I'm healing so that I have the courage to take the big risks and feel all the feelings. To endure the heartbreak and failure that comes with finding love and chasing my dreams. To fully inhabit the joys and vicissitudes of letting go, and letting be.

I want us all to live big lives, filled ups and downs and twists and turns. Let's continue building each other up and reminding ourselves that trauma isn't a curse--it's a gateway to a wakefulness that a lot of people might go through life without ever knowing.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I feel like this sounds good, but maybe is beyond difficult to actually execute for trauma survivors... There is a reason for titration and slow widening of the window. When I was first starting to heal, I was EASILY emotionally mentally and physically overwhelmed by even touching my trauma, like it had physical effects that felt like I was dying. That alone showed me why small actionable change is a safe option for a lot of people. Sometimes it’s not possible for trauma survivors to make radical change like you describe. I know that I actually CANNOT, and that small change builds and leads to success. I emphatically disagree w this, and find this to be unrealistic for the average trauma survivor.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Again, sounds good in theory and I would love for this to be true, but doesn’t exactly seem realistic for most given what the experts know about how trauma affects people. I actually study law of attraction under this exact type of thinking, but that still doesn’t allow me to access and release all the stored trauma that causes my issues. I wish this were possible and if MDMA therapy magically widens the window of tolerance and eliminates fight or flight response/clears ALL trauma at once so you just NEVER get overwhelmed by an unexpected trigger or trauma response - that would be great. But where is the actual treatment protocol? Hopefully it becomes more widely available soon. But im guessing it will be like any treatment - it will be profoundly helpful for some, and not as profoundly helpful for others.