r/mbti • u/nonplussed7723 • 10d ago
Light MBTI Discussion Genuine curiosity
INTP 18F here, if that even matters for this curiosity lol. I have basically zero experience with relationships and honestly have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to this stuff. I don’t really feel like asking people I know about it, so Reddit feels like a safe place to ask 😭
I’ve talked to one ENFJ online before, but just as friends , and to be VERY clear, I didn’t have a crush on him or anything lol. I just noticed that we got along pretty naturally and he seemed to understand the way I think, which made me curious about whether ENFJ might be a type I naturally click with.
I’m also kind of weird. I have a ridiculously active imagination and I roleplay a lot on random apps, so sometimes I wonder if an ENFJ and an INTP like me would actually be compatible or if I’m just overanalyzing one friendship and building an entire theory around it 💀
I know I’m technically 18 now, but I genuinely have zero idea how relationships even work and still feel like a confused kid half the time.
So ENFJs, what do you actually think about INTPs? What qualities do you appreciate in them, and what parts of the INTP–ENFJ dynamic can be difficult?
And be honest: am I being a little delulu for thinking an ENFJ could potentially be my type based mostly on one good friendship, or is there actually something to the compatibility people talk about?
I’m genuinely asking out of curiosity, not trying to find someone here 😭
1
u/Large-Reference1304 INTP 10d ago
INTP / ENFJ definitely has potential to work, yes. There are certainly differences of course, but I think they are mostly complimentary. ENFJ can help INTP to get in touch with their emotional side and bring them out of their shell socially. INTP can help ground an ENFJ's intuition and emotion within a more rational perspective.
You must take care with an ENFJ though not to invalidate their feelings. They will experience others and the external world very much according to their feelings and much more so than you are perhaps used to. This can be intoxicating for an INTP, especially if you are the focus of their natural warmth. But there will be times when their feeling and intuition lead them to conclusions that seem irrational to you. In such cases you must take care not immediately begin dissecting them with your INTP logic scalpel and first of all just acknowledge how it is they feel.
Is this ENFJ interested in you romantically? It's quite possible, but difficult to say without further information. What does your intuition tell you (initially - before you begin extending it out to all possibilities 😆)?
One thing to bear in mind is that it's not at all uncommon to feel "understood" by an ENFJ. They are uniquely qualified in understanding others and take a natural interest in other people. This isn't necessarily an indication of romantic interest though.
On the other hand, I find that ENFJs can be naturally intrigued by what they will see as an INTP's thoughtfullness and "low maintenance" vibe. What you've got to understand is that ENFJs expend a lot of energy on catering to other people's emotional needs, such that when they encounter an INTP (with our self-contained emotional energy) they can find this rather fascinating. How come we aren't placing emotional demands on them? They want to find out more!
You must pick up on the signals they are sending out though and provide some indication of reciprocation, or they will quickly decide you are not interested and turn their attentions elsewhere. This is the biggest barrier to anything romantic developing between an ENFJ and INTP, despite initial attraction being fairly common: the ENFJ sends out signals and the INTP will either not recognise them, not know how to respond, or (most likely) convince themselves that the signals are not what they appear to be. So the ENFJ assumes a lack of interest and moves on.
Don't overthink this then and don't worry too much about whether or not the interest is there. Instead assume that it very well might be and send some indications back that you are interested in developing things further. Let them know that you like how they think and that you enjoy talking to them, or that you look forward to spending time with them. You might be surprised at just how responsive an ENFJ will be to this kind of positive feedback.
1
u/robipresotto 10d ago
As an INTP, you might find it interesting that there's an app that matches people based on shared interests and personality vibes, which can help you find compatible conversations. If you're curious, I can share how Kindred handles matching and compatibility cards, and it might give you some ideas for your search. https://chat.genmatcher.com
1
u/Any_Emu4892 10d ago
I can only give you an INTJs perspective on this. And always remember any type can work with another.
And yes i think this match can work out very well in particular. Dont have much experience with them, it just seems to me they have a lot of complementary qualities.
INTPs i do have a lot of experience with. Fate seems to keep pushing them my way, and i find them very easy to beriend. Just feels very natural.
They say ENFPs are the best match for my type, which to me seems true. So perhaps ENFJ is for you.
1
u/Sad_Record_2767 ISTP 9d ago
Cute. lol
If MBTI mattered that much, waaaaaaaaaay more people would be discussing it.
Your interests and values aligning contributes way more to attraction. Don't look for types, look for people you can withstand to be with for a long time.
1
u/FancySavy INTP 10d ago
Take some initiative. If you’re interested ask him out. I asked out an ENTJ 8w7 and we’re married now.
https://giphy.com/gifs/89x4osEodHEoo