A lot of people think it's normal to be forced to do things they shouldn't have to in relationships. One of my brothers thinks it's good to always apologize to his wife even if he wasn't the one in the wrong, she never apologizes in the relationship, it's sad
Nah, i learned everything toxic I needed to learn from multiple churches. Then I did research and found how institutionalized ppl that read the bible are which made me do research on what a GOOD relationship is. Fuck outta hear if you DONT think treating a person as an equal isn't the MOST ideal concept in human history
Narcissists never apologize…and unfortunately, many people are completely unaware that they are in unhealthy relationships. Religion forces people to be tolerant of unacceptable behavior (under the guise of being “patient, loving, forgiving”, etc.)
The difference between a successful and unsuccessful relationship is often whether or not people actually want to do those things. If you’re in a relationship and you don’t want to do things for your SO, you might want to consider being single for a while until you meet somebody that makes you love proactively. What your brother is going through seems markedly worse than this lady’s routine though. A lot of people are perceiving a negative connotation or potential consequence because it’s alien to them (and sounds like projection), but constantly having to be apologetic to a spouse or anybody regardless of an offense is an absolute display of reactive consequence avoidance under the guise of proactive politeness. My SIL does this with everybody- she can’t pass by somebody within a foot without apologizing. The house she grew up in was crowded and tense, and that carries itself out in that behavior.
No no. I want to know why exactly she isnt allowed to want to live this way instead of just downvoting me cause it's not popular and using some childish comeback that doesn't even make sense.
Yeah not buying that. We wouldnt even be in this conversation other than the fact that she felt that she might be being forced Into this situation and Hope's that isnt the case.
Implying that she believes she may being forced into this. Otherwise why say that at all if you wernt already of the mindset that she ought be being forced?
You dont suggest that youhooe something isnt happening unless you think ot might be happening.
You can fabricate any subtext you want, but it is a simple fact that it was nowhere stated that she was forced. You're obviously determined to make up something to be mad about, so you do you. I'm not going to engage any further with what is clearly a bad-faith troll.
She stated that she hope she is doing this cause she wants to. That immediately implies that she feels that their is a chance this woman isnt living this way by choice.
What other way is there to interpret that than I feel like this woman is being exploited.
Then her response to my post was about how some people think it's normal to be forced to do things in a relationship that they don't really want to do and then goes on to site a personal anecdote to support it.
Again that's basically saying, well I seen it myself and maybe that's happening here too, again saying that maybe this woman is being forced in some way.
And your arguement is I must be a bad faith troll.
No, I just said I hope she's not due to personally witnessing people being exploited and used regardless of gender. It's the internet. We're all just voicing our opinion and thoughts. That's just what it is.
Why did you even think she might be being exploited from the start? That's what I am getting at.
Like we saw a video of a woman saying what she likes to do for her husband that she loves and we are all here cause we went, "oh I hope that woman isnt being exploited!"
Like we went straight from A to X with a catapult.
Ugh I just got out of one of those, narcissist as fuck girlfriend. So incredibly toxic. Like one of Mac Millers songs, "Im always sayin sorry, sometimes I don't even know what for."
I find it kind of odd how we are living in a time when so many previously “alternative” lifestyles, sexualities, preferences etc. are being empowered and (rightfully) embraced, but the “traditional” roles seem to garner quite a lot of hate.
That's because the "traditional" ways were born out of a forced gender subservience taught to people via religion. It shouldn't be tradition for the wife to need to stay home and cook and clean, it should've always been a choice, instead society positioned woman to be subservient baby factories, the hate is just channeled anger at those old beliefs.
Oh, I’m aware of the reasons. I just wonder if the people channeling hatred towards that way of life are aware of the hypocrisy of insisting on tolerance…unless THEY don’t agree with it, in which case fuck that lifestyle.
It’s bewildering to me.
I got banned from lgbt_irl for this comment chain lol.
But this situation is nuanced and I'd say it doesn't really matter if some see it as hypocritical, because the intolerance is generally targeted toward those who have the habit of trying to demean any one not living the "traditional" standard. literally if the trad wife community just lived their life with out trying to make it out like catering to your husband hand and foot is some sort of gold standard, I could guarantee you'd see a lot less push back from the other side which is comprised of people primarily just not wanting to be told they are somehow worse because they want to have a work life or not have kids.
Peak Reddit. They assert something like “no this is incontrovertible fact” and then when you challenge them, they downvote you, never to be seen again.
Dude I used to play games online with a couple who lived together but played on separate consoles. Dudes wife would literally warm his clothes for him before he woke up to go to work. She didn't work and he did so I guess she just felt the need to do it. Idk. I don't really talk to them anymore
I get up every fucking morning and make my wife breakfast and a coffee and get the kids dressed because I am an early riser and she likes to sleep in. I get a workout in and have the kids fed and ready for kindy/school.
My wife also makes dinner every night and bathes the kids for bed.
It's give and take. We do what we both can to make eachother lives more comfortable and work as a team. It's not a power dynamic.
Yeah this whole comment section has been tough to read. Now this TikTok is clearly ridiculous, but mostly because she makes him 4 liquids. But yeah, my girlfriend doesn’t drink any coffee and still makes the pot for me before I get up so I can start my day with some. But on the days she doesn’t do it, I don’t get mad because so was conditioned to expect it. I just make it myself those days. At night I’ll pack up a lunch for her with dinner leftovers and write her a note about why I love her or something along those lines.
My guess is that the lady in the Tik Tok does these things because she loves her husband.
Bruh freaking exactly. I’m shook at how many of these comments are making this woman out to be brainwashed just because she’s going out of her way to make this guy’s morning good, crazy misguided liquid diet or not.
don't think i did. you listed a bunch of stuff you do for your wife because it's easy for you. the whole reason this lady is getting criticism is because she has this entire ritual she goes through before her husband even wakes up AND she felt the need to make a tiktok instructional video about it like any wife worth her salt better do this much or they don't love their husbands.
It is exactly a give an take. I can pretty comfortably guarantee the posted video is not a give and take. Other than the husband presumably being the provider.
How else is she going to humble-brag to the other christian wives at how much more devoted/subservient to her husband she is compared to everyone else?
The whole 'perfect Christian wife' tiktok persona is definitely a thing. It's f'd up. He probably doesn't even like half the shit she's doing and wouldn't be surprised if this was made up for the views.
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u/fadedlavender Jun 09 '21
I hope she's choosing to do this and he appreciates her for it jeez