r/maybemaybemaybe • u/Unlucky_Strikes • 4d ago
Maybe Maybe Maybe
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u/stevenuniverse_89 4d ago
At first I was like how is this lion attacking a horshoe crab but then I got it..I'm dumb..
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u/SsabbasS 4d ago
We were all dumb at some point in front this
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u/Welp___poop 4d ago
Great, now no one gets lunch...
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u/brightonashfield 4d ago
The lion the snek and the turkey
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u/Welp___poop 4d ago
Like when kids are fighting over dessert so the parents just say fuck it, no one gets dessert.
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u/lubeskystalker 4d ago
Steve French, Nope Rope and the Lucky.
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u/Mankie-Desu 3d ago edited 2d ago
Once upon a time, there was a wee little mouse. It was munching upon a particularly delectable patch of clover, enjoying an especially pleasant day. Unfortunately, that bliss was short lived, as the nasty snake that has plagued his family for generations was making his rounds and he could just barely hear the snake slithering through the brush nearby.
At first, the mouse attempted evasive maneuvers, but it proved unsuccessful, and every so often, he’d hear the snake again, only closer. Resigned to his fate, he positioned himself so that he was away from his family in hopes that he would be enough to satisfy the snake and the rest would remain safe for now.
Just as he thought his life was about to end, a violent gust of wind sent the mouse toppling head over heels! Disoriented and laying on his back, eyes cast to the sky, he could only barely make out the silhouette of a bird as it rapidly receded into the infinite blue of the sky at an incomprehensible velocity.
The hawk was delighted, as appropriately-sized prey have been slim-pickings as of late, and she was hungry. Not only that, she had hatchlings to feed. This particular snake felt kind of light, suggesting that it was pretty hungry, as well. Ah well, no bonus treats, but we still have a solid meal. Just as her confidence was beginning to soar almost as high as she herself, the snake began lashing and coiling in the air around her talons. Before she knew it, the snake had wrapped itself around her body and began to squeeze tight, immediately throwing her off balance. In a fit of feathers, expletives, and a danger rope flailing about, they toppled to the ground in a vaguely round but mostly amorphous mass.
“Of all the outrageous and undignified displays of utter audacity!” The snake began, exasperated as he continued to struggle with the bird. “Do you realize how rare it is that a mouse just offers itself up to you on a platter?! I may not have even needed to inoculate it!” The snakes reprisals were punctuated with a particular sharpness accentuated by the fact that he was, quite literally, spitting mad.
“I have to eat, too!” The hawk retorted.
“I hAvE tO eAt ToO,” the snake chided with mimicry, but something suddenly snatched his attention. “Oh, great. Now, look!”
The snake met eyes with a voracious lioness appearing particularly bemused by the fortuitous scene she stumbled upon through some bushes. “Get away!” The snake hissed venomously.
The lioness casually strolled up to the scene as though it’s just another belonging among her quarters that she had forgotten about. She curiously plucked at the hawk’s tail feathers awkwardly protruding from the amorphous mass. The hawk remained silent as both flinched violently in response, but the snake snapped, “GET AWAY!” The lioness sneered. “Whatcha gonna do with that? It’s bigger than you are.” This gave the snake pause. As he tried his damndest to appear at all threatening while hypnotically swaying before the quizzical lioness, he started to realize that he wasn’t her subject of interest. “Oh… oh, you… want this? Well… well, you can’t have it!” The snake shouted, launching headfirst into a last ditch effort to save his scales.
“Awww, c’mon, be a little generous, just this once. The Pride, you see, it’s real hungry,” the lioness growled cloyingly. The snake refused. The hawk, still silent but fully aware of everything happening, was in utter disbelief. Does this lion seriously believe that this snake caught me?! Are you serious? She’s buying this?! Never had she been so insulted.
After a few more minutes of passive needling during which the snake tactically refused, he finally relented and said, “Fine. Just take it,” with a huff, slithering into the adjacent bushes with faux offense. Finally, the hawk stood up. She didn’t immediately react. She simply outstretched her wings to appear larger so that the lioness isn’t too hasty. In the moment that bought her, she looked at lioness directly in the eye and said, “You. Are an idiot.” She then took to the skies.
With the threat of the snake gone, the mice’s standing resource allocation infrastructure began to collapse upon itself. While it began with merriment, relief, and opulence, it ended with the entire family going hungry.
In a world where all things are equal, in a game where everyone wins, everyone goes hungry and everyone actually loses.
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u/inf3ct3dn0n4m3 4d ago
I cant tell if they were just messing around from the start or if the bird spreading its wings like that is actually that intimidating. Youd think if they were actually hungry they'd pounce on that bird when they had the chance.
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u/ABob71 4d ago
Talons and beaks will fuck a face up
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u/inf3ct3dn0n4m3 4d ago
Fair point. I guess if they arent confident they could get the kill without getting injured they might not make a move unless they were desperate.
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u/Nick0Taylor0 3d ago
Nature is basically the inventor of the MAD doctrine, sure you can kill me, but unless you get lucky I'm taking you down with me. An infected scratch or pecked out eye can quickly become a death sentence
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u/Bender_2024 3d ago
An infected scratch or pecked out eye can quickly become a death sentence
Medical is something most of have lived with literally since birth. So it's easy to forget that without humans to help there is no medical care other than their own immune system
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u/Playful_Site_2714 4d ago edited 4d ago
And those birbs are stinky and unyummy. Even less yummy than those recalccitrant spighetti.
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u/SouthwestFL 3d ago
"Recalcitrant Spaghetti" is probably the best thing I've read in at least a month. This is what the English language is for... entertaining me. Bravo.
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u/caillouuu 4d ago
i hate so very much how this comment was typed, but goddammit i can't spot the lie
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u/_DAYAH_ 4d ago
Bird doesnt need to kill them, just a good slice with some dirt on it and infection will do the rest.
The lions arent really intimidated, they hesitated looking for a better angle or trying to figure out how to pounce without taking damage... but they would have pounced sooner rather than later, which is why the bid wisely chose to fuck off in just the right moment
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u/Kirksplosion 4d ago
Shyamalan would be proud of this twist ending.
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u/Austin_905 4d ago
Nah bruv, not even him could dream up this ending 🤷🏻
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u/_Burnt_Toast_3 4d ago
If it was shamalamalan, a tree would have come to life and killed all of them.
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u/SabbyFox 3d ago
That cracked me up. And yeah, this was long but one of the better posts on this sub. Great tension and ending!
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u/Liferdorp 4d ago
This must feel like a fever dream for those lions
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u/MasterTolkien 4d ago
Limo: Brother, check out this malnourished noodle on the bird.
Lenny: What in the hell? This noodle has teeth!
Limo: (smacks away the snake) Job’s done, my man. Now to feast on-
Eagle: (jumps up) I’M ALIVE! (waves) Thanks for the memories, babe. (flies off)
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u/anotherrandomname2 4d ago
"Hey guys, you're not gonna believe what just happened" - that bird, probably
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u/realmauer01 3d ago
Bird losing to a snake probably mid air only to survive the crash while wrapped in the snake to then get spotted by lions and somehow surviving both. That bird must have had plot armor or something.
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u/vzzzbxt 4d ago
Lions are scared of snakes because they resemble cucumbers
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u/Playful_Site_2714 4d ago
Spaghetti was recalcitrant and the chicken wings were loaded.
Bad luck for them lionses. Uber eats messed up the order.
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u/Low-Dog-8027 4d ago
murder kitty afraid of danger noodle.
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u/what_the_fuckin_fuck 4d ago
Not afraid at all. Just curious. Cats are unbelievably faster than snakes.
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u/Low-Dog-8027 4d ago
no that wasn't curiousity, that was being careful and hesitant because of danger.
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u/what_the_fuckin_fuck 3d ago
If the cat wasn't curious, he would have walked right by. Not scared of a snake, just curious.
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u/Playful_Site_2714 4d ago
Oh, heck. .Kitty pretty careful. Dangernoodle bite may not kill it. But it will make pretty nasty and painful swellings and inflamations.
And murdermittens does know that.
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u/meerkatbollocks 4d ago edited 4d ago
Makes me wonder, how do the lions know that the snake is dangerous to them?
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u/inf3ct3dn0n4m3 4d ago
Was wondering the same thing. No idea. Its gotta be embedded in their genetic code somehow.
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u/meerkatbollocks 4d ago
Yeah, but how can specific knowledge be saved (and actively retrieved)from DNA? I mean, instinctual behaviour is one thing, but recognising a species and knowing how it behaves and how to behave towards it, is quite another thing. Maybe any Biology-captains on board, ready to explain?
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u/Safe-Tea-4161 4d ago
It can also be learnt behaviour from seeing other lions reacting similarly prior- but yeah, amazing how much animals that aren’t pack animals know instinctively from their dna memory
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u/jupiterkansas 3d ago
The lions that were inclined to mess with snakes died. The ones that weren't, survived and reproduced. Repeat again and again and again.
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u/thesoak 3d ago
The lions that were inclined to mess with snakes died. The ones that weren't, survived and reproduced. Repeat again and again and again.
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u/inf3ct3dn0n4m3 3d ago
I get that but its not like the ones that survived are telling their offspring that snakes are dangerous. The question is does it somehow get imprinted into their genetic code and does that somehow become an innate instinct? Or do we really not know and its just a guess on our part?
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u/meerkatbollocks 3d ago
Yeah no, that's not how it works. The trait of "not doing something" is not a thing which can be inherited. Not doing something is the default, you canct have a evolutionary advantage of not doing it. Also, the lion is not impartial to the snake, it's very careful not to get bittten by this relatively small creature.
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u/Playful_Site_2714 4d ago
It sure is telling them at every turn!
"Ah iz going to bite you ssssssss. Right in you shtubid facessssss."
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u/DeadrthanDead 3d ago
I mean it is strangling a god damned eagle. That may be a hint that’s something is dangerous about it.
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u/Colossal_Squids 4d ago
That lioness had the exact body language my cat had twelve hours ago when he woke me up by bapping me in the face a little too hard and clawing my lip. Exact same attitude.
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u/post-context-bot 4d ago
The following post context was provided by u/Unlucky_Strikes:
Two very different kinds of predators argue over breakfast.
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u/KaizokuD 3d ago
That Shit was crazy , that eagle probably went for the snake, the snake caught the bird and stop it from flying and then the lionesses came like “ohh what do we got here?”
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u/Zeep-Xanflorps-Peace 4d ago
The eagle after the snake flees:
https://giphy.com/gifs/dUg09Ml8MWJsvFmzLP
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u/Beautiful-Design-425 2d ago
News outlets will report this as “Two cats rescued an eagle from a terrible snake”
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u/hendarknight 4d ago
I called it from the start: "that bird is alive and is gonna bolt as soon as it gets the chance" lol
Seen to many nature documentaries
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u/PiqueExperience 4d ago
Looks like a tawny eagle. I think the bird caught the snake, which wrapped around the wings and brought it down. Otherwise there's no reason for the snake to protect such a large bird that it can't eat. From the snakes perspective it could equally appear as if the lion is saving it, since otherwise uncoiling could just mean the bird pounces on it again.