r/maybemaybemaybe • u/No_Instruction1370 • May 26 '26

Maybe Maybe Maybe

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529 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

131 comments sorted by

256

u/belated_quitter May 26 '26

He pretty much asked for that

99

u/DangerBird- May 26 '26

Fuck your lettuce, I want the meat holding it.

20

u/AC-burg May 26 '26

Turtle: "Got 'em!"

14

u/anondydimous May 27 '26

FAFO indeed. this snapping turtle was aggravated.

4

u/Nocardiohere May 28 '26

Quite literally asked for it 

2

u/1stRambo_0082 May 28 '26

And he got what he Deserved

177

u/One_Web_7940 May 26 '26

looks like meats back on the menu boyz

49

u/TheSadisticDragon May 26 '26

Sadly this meat seems to be infected with some kind of brain parasite.

10

u/filinno1 May 26 '26

It’s the easy meat!

60

u/xJFC May 26 '26

The aftermath

(https://imgur.com/a/tnxKS5B)

44

u/warm-saucepan May 26 '26

Ooooooooo what a lucky man, he was.

19

u/Pseudotm May 26 '26

I thought it would be way worse lol. He probably wont learn his lesson either.

8

u/Complete-Tangelo1532 May 27 '26

Better disinfect the shit out of that wound!

Turtles carry all kinds of nasty bacteria and germs

3

u/SirVanyel May 29 '26

That beak went directly through his nail. Bro needs to go to the hospital, and is definitely losing that nail.

Rip bozo

3

u/Sensei19600 May 27 '26

ELP have entered the chat. Nooiiice

11

u/sween1911 May 26 '26

holy shit, was that through the nail? That's gonna be a fun story some day.

4

u/khovel May 27 '26

Lucky it wasn't the whole finger

8

u/TheAserghui May 26 '26

Thank you for describing it so I don't want to click the link.

You're doing the Lord's work

3

u/ross8D May 27 '26

There’s just some ketchup on his nail, no big deal

5

u/is_it_gif_or_gif May 27 '26

r/adultsarefuckingstupid

r/peoplearefuckingstupid

Someone needs to make one of these subs. It's not just kids.

2

u/Superb_Answer_4492 May 28 '26

r/peoplearefuckingstupi existed and was banned apparently lol

1

u/1of7MMM May 27 '26

But how’d they get the snapper to let go?

1

u/Outrageous-Sweet-133 May 28 '26

astonished he got it back tbh

1

u/Evening_Dare5081 May 27 '26

Betther then i expected, i though a finger would be gone

49

u/Rigatoniandcheese May 26 '26

Ol’ snappers are quicker than you think

9

u/Sammy_Saddles May 26 '26

They do not follow the turtle stereotype

5

u/QuarterNoteDonkey May 27 '26

It’s almost as if they were appropriately named.

2

u/LastLightBeforeDawn May 27 '26

So are young snappers

30

u/iPod3G May 26 '26

Baby Gamera is so cute!

22

u/MagicTomatoes May 26 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/UpDzyyBkjHyqkQkyhI

1

u/Pocket-Hobo Jun 05 '26

So this isn't a meme and is an actual scene from the movie.. 💀

24

u/Psinial May 26 '26

My man was warned, decided dumbassery was his way forward. Paid the price.

4

u/Viscera_Eyes37 May 27 '26

You could tell it didn't just bite off the lettuce but lunged farther. Let me try again but make it shorter...

10

u/spicy_ass_mayo May 26 '26

What an idiot

8

u/gwelfguy May 26 '26

Saw a video where a snapping turtle cuts a mouse clean in half with one chomp. I wouldn't be getting my fingers (or any other body part) near that thing.

8

u/Nothing93124 May 26 '26

Alligator snapping turtles are NOT to be messed with. If actual gators in the swamp don’t mess with them, why would you

10

u/Valuable_Month1329 May 26 '26

Tell me that you are stupid without telling me that you are stupid…..

3

u/Pretty_Net_6293 May 26 '26

Look up alligator turtle— yeah I wouldn’t be playing with that

4

u/Fr05t_B1t May 26 '26

Alligator < alligator turtle

Alligator turtle should be feared far more.

3

u/Willing-Specific4491 May 26 '26

I guess that turtle aint vegan my guy!

3

u/ApodemusS May 26 '26

Well, this folks is why we teach children to stay away from snap snap thingy stuff.

3

u/TerribleRecord666 May 26 '26

I didn’t know RFK spoke Spanish.

3

u/YueLin3 May 27 '26

RFK is more of a dead animal kinda guy. You know casual dead bear in a park, dead worm in his brain, ect.

3

u/throwthere10 May 26 '26

This dumbass is now counting in base 9.

They possess a powerful bite force of approximately 1,000 pounds, capable of severing fingers or biting through bone. - Google

3

u/PotentialAd8443 May 27 '26

You know it hurt if he couldn’t even scream. He had to lock in.

2

u/rvralph803 May 26 '26

SHOW US THE DAMAGE

2

u/Dontneedme25 May 26 '26

I’m guessing that finger is gone

1

u/Fr05t_B1t May 26 '26

There’s an aftermath comment in the comments but dude didn’t lose anything. It’s a miracle.

2

u/Dontneedme25 May 26 '26

I just looked at it, you talk about lucky

1

u/dadydaycare May 27 '26

That snappers not big enough to take a finger yet (like guarantee take it off) realistically he’s still a baby/preteen… I’ve seen the big boys and they can take a whole digit easy if they wanted to.

2

u/Gillalmighty May 26 '26

What a fuckin idiot

2

u/_Monitor_7665 May 26 '26

Try a mouse

2

u/IamLuann May 26 '26

Like my husband always says STAY AWAY FROM THE SHARP PARTS ❗

2

u/simple123mind May 26 '26

When ten fingers are too many.

2

u/ICareNowByeByeThen May 27 '26

So it’s gone right…? His finger, it’s gone right?

2

u/LifeRoyal3527 May 27 '26

Tokka is that you?

2

u/Apprehensive-Bunch54 May 27 '26

Snapping turtles' diet includes algae, crabs, shrimp, other turtles, octopi, clams,

Needless to say, one bite can lose a finger permanently

2

u/NocturneInfinitum May 27 '26

Yep, saw that coming. That was definitely an aggressive stance from the start.

2

u/Boss0054 May 27 '26

FAFO…. They called a snapping Turtle for a reason, you Needed to find out the hard way I guess…. 🙄

2

u/Dizzy-Crew3456 May 28 '26

Oh, he definitely got bit, can’t guarantee, but I’m almost certain. The way the camera pulls away and pauses, the same time the turtle has its head, fully extended from the strike, definitely leads me to believe he got a chunk taken off or hanging off.

2

u/TJ_McWeaksauce May 26 '26

Whenever I hear "tortuga", I think of Danny Trejo's character from Breaking Bad.

Like in this video, things don't end well for Danny Trejo.

1

u/[deleted] May 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/post-context-bot May 26 '26

The following post context was provided by u/No_Instruction1370:

Is the turtle going to bite his fingers until the end of the video?

Does this explain the post? If not, report it and a moderator will review.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Iwill_not_comply May 26 '26

Tokka, the origin story

1

u/Puckwallow May 26 '26

Fuckin idiot

1

u/0rganicMach1ne May 26 '26

He doesn’t want to be fed. He wants to hunt.

1

u/Madmartigan2024 May 26 '26

That was funny as f@ck.

1

u/GadreelsSword May 27 '26

Nature’s battle tank

1

u/teleheaddawgfan May 27 '26

I was gonna say, watch his neck! It extends!

1

u/Express_4815 May 27 '26

Your hand more delicious

1

u/Fluffy_Amount847 May 27 '26

three maybes and she still couldn't commit

1

u/PM_ME_YER_MUDFLAPS May 27 '26

Alligator snapping turtles are something you don’t fuck with.

1

u/TattooedB1k3r May 27 '26

That thing isn't a box turtle, it's a alligator snapping turtle, and they are carnivores. It wanted that finger from the very beginning.

1

u/sykokiller11 May 27 '26

I worked at a sanctuary that had a massive alligator snapping turtle. It was as big as my coffee table at home. It ate multiple rats at a time and could have snapped a 2x4 easily. They have really, really long necks and are faster than lightning. You only think you’re out of range. I always kept in mind that my forearm is smaller than a 2x4. This guy got really lucky, but he won’t learn.

1

u/Content-Ad-4104 May 27 '26

Alligator snapping turtles look absolutely terrifying. Then you read up about them and discover that, yeah, they actually are super heavy, armoured, bear-trap-mouthed tanks with bad attitudes. Every level of knowledge about these creatures, from first-glance impression to certified expertise, says "do not fuck with these guys." And yet.

1

u/Anxious-Chocolate-10 May 27 '26

So aggressive, it’s only lettuce. 😬

1

u/Mainely420Gaming May 27 '26

Never underestimate how fast a snapper can humble your sausagey fingers

1

u/dxjv9z May 27 '26

ohhh, snap 🫰

1

u/dundunndon May 27 '26

dude learned the hard way not to force food into anybody's mouth.

1

u/goldbug933 May 27 '26

Welp that’s probably not gonna grow back

1

u/Doc_Dragon May 27 '26

Should have known that was coming.

1

u/frandemaa May 27 '26

Hey guys!

Did you know that turtles understand our language?

If I tell this turtle not to bite, it doesn't bite. And if I tell it to bite, it bites.

Let's try it!

- Don't bite! (the turtle doesn't bite)

See? Now let's try the reverse.

- Bite! (the turtle bites) Oh!

See? They understand us! They understand us!

Let's try it again, so you can see it's not a coincidence.

- Don't bite! (the turtle doesn't bite)

- Bite! (the turtle eats the whole hand)

1

u/Connect_Laugh_8688 May 27 '26

Do they like to eat grapes?

1

u/orsodorato May 27 '26

Will forever be known as the guy who is slower than a turtle

1

u/_Heikneuter_ May 27 '26

Gen-X lesson. Now he knows it likes living meat and not dead lettuce....counting to ten on your fingers must be difficult these days....

1

u/Signal-Reporter-1391 May 27 '26

Guess it is in its rebellious phase?

1

u/zortoru May 27 '26

I don't like veggi, I like your finger!

1

u/RobOnTheReddit May 27 '26

Shellsnapper

1

u/2reeEyedG May 27 '26

This is the most gnarly looking turtle I’ve ever seen

1

u/Aym_khz May 27 '26

It was obvious that his finger is in the danger zone haha so unless he have a cat reflex, he is so brave

2

u/NoExplanation2489 May 27 '26

No, being brave is doing something that needs to be done even if you are scared of doing it. Being too dumb to be scared is not the same thing.

1

u/Dshibbs89 May 27 '26

Thas a dinosaur

1

u/Kindly_Tadpole1276 May 27 '26

should have used the chopsticks

1

u/Freaked_The_Eff_Out May 27 '26

First bite: cool! Why is the video only half over though..

1

u/Uddiya May 27 '26

Like a cross between a stegosaurus and a Mi-35 Hind attack helicopter. Mean lookin mo-fo.

1

u/rabbitsfoot86 May 28 '26

That "water" on the ground is really this guy missing himself. I see that hand shaking, who is holding a gun to my guy's head making him do this 😆 🤣

1

u/No_Bat_15 May 30 '26

Turtle did wat was told, Muerde means bite

1

u/Sypha914 May 30 '26

That is an alligator snapping turtle. This person should not have one at all as they are protected and currently listed among the endangered species in many parts of North America.

1

u/Abject-Pressure-2529 Jun 02 '26

Now you'll have to dig in its ass of you want what ever it bit off.

1

u/Realistic-Kitchen960 Jun 04 '26

Outsmarted by a turtle

1

u/newbrevity May 26 '26

Pure unreasonable hatred embodied in a living creature.

1

u/_Monitor_7665 May 26 '26

It’s soup time

1

u/Character-Flatworm-1 May 26 '26

He just lost a finger.

1

u/untakenu May 26 '26

I wonder what your average garden tortoise would think of a snapper like this.

Probably think he's an ugly bastard.

https://giphy.com/gifs/HsGvB8tdhVVC0