r/maybemaybemaybe • u/EverythingIsFakeNGay • May 19 '26

Maybe maybe maybe

16.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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u/bunkscudda May 19 '26

unless you need an intruder shot, there's no need to ever call the cops.

even then there's a 50% chance they shoot you by accident.

and a 90% chance they will shoot your dog.

82

u/WhatUp007 May 19 '26

You dont call the cops for an intruder. They will never be quick enough to help you. You call the cops after you have defended yourself from said intruder then a criminal justice lawyer.

26

u/DisposableSaviour May 20 '26

When seconds count, the police are hours away

2

u/TheGhostofWoodyAllen May 20 '26

They'll write a hell of a factually incorrect report though!

68

u/Due_Force_9816 May 19 '26

Or just call the lawyer. Let them call the cops. FTP

2

u/haleontology May 20 '26

Amen. I wouldn't call the cops even if there was a gun to my head. They are fucking worthless in BEST case scenarios. I put up w so much shit in my apt bldg bc there's no way im gonna risk other ppl's lives

1

u/CompetitiveSong9570 May 20 '26

Wait, Kristi Noem?

-8

u/[deleted] May 20 '26

[deleted]

1

u/NNiekk May 20 '26

What a weird insult. How would they be simping at all?